All Comments on 'My Sister and her Cheerleader Friends Ch. 05'

Waiting for next chapter. Keep it going. Thanks

I get the feeling Simone is feeling cheated out of a night with Darren. Surely they will get together like they want to be, maybe with Annabelle too. Should be lots of fun.

Sexy sweet sinful Annabel..OH YEAH!

some quality editing added to a great story.

Now it can be read and appreciated!

Still some work to do ("pressing her firm breasts against him chest"), but so much better.

Simone deserves a night with darren.. then all 5 girls need to join them and make sure they rock simone's world as a thank you for her bringing them there.

First off, I have enjoyed your series. However this chapter is a bit confusing. Who's bed is everyone sleeping in? "Olivia quietly slid into the bed she had made up for him" and "Simone lay naked in bed" (after telling the girls she was going to sleep in Darren's bed) and finally "She finally drifted off to sleep" before waking up and standing in Darren's doorway while he was with Annabel.

So who's bed is everyone sleeping in?

Annabel is in darrens bed because the note said that Darren was gonna have to be out with the girls in the living room because sim found out that they had all been with him and she was upset...

More enjoyable chapter due to the editing/proofreading.

Don't get me wrong the early chapters were good but were let down due to confusing and annoying grammar. Please, more of the same quality.

Also, nice twist at the end. Thanks

Loved the twist at the end that it was his youngest sister Annabel who he was fucking. Obviously Simone fell asleep at the place where Annabel was staying, then Annabel snuck over to Darren's apartment and bed laying face down naked, so Darren would think it was Simone, as Simone probably let it slip that something sexual was going on between her and their brother Darren when Simone left after their mutual fondling in the bathroom.

Simone probably woke up all the other girls and now her four friends and little sister have at least sucked on Darren's cock, four of them have slipped their pussy down Darren's cock and Olivia & Annabel have had anal sex with Darren and everyone knows 5 of the 6 girls (including one of his 2 sisters) have been naked and sexual with Darren.

Might as well start up the 6 girls on one guy sex orgy thanks to Simone's out burst and Darren's likely response to that out burst when the other 4 girls rouse and keep Simone from leaving the room.

Thank you to all the people who have written comments and sent me emails - (I had over 50 of them in the end!). This was going to be the last chapter of this story but the consensus seems to be that people would love another chapter or two just to help Simone out. It would appear I may need some extra help proof-reading the work though ;)

Thanks again

It just keeps getting better, a great fun story. Please keep going.

Great yes give us more

Dude, fire your editors; they did a horrible job. So many errors, this last had the most. A six year old could do better.

Ooh! That was a cold blooded twist!! Ouch! Simone keep getting fucked over, lol! Well she's the last to the party but it should be good! ...and hey, talk about a lucky bastard! All the girls AND both his sisters?! Daaaamn!!

Whew, wish I was him ;)

....editors? What editors? Lol.

Write on!

Don't stop!

However, you really do need better proofreading. Character names are wrong in the orgy scene, the perspective switches constantly (he, I, etc), and there are extra words all over the place!

Where's the next chapter? Love it. Keep it up.

Ok when is the next chapter cumming out

Are you planning on writing another chapter or is this it?

You did well but you need a good proof reader.I just don't care for all the anal does nothing for me.Kind of gay everyone has an anus and none of them interest me.At all!

The whole thing is mispelt, wrong names used, descriptions wrong... it just ruined the whole story for me.

Proof reading by another, or get it edited, theres plenty on here that would help !!

I just got frustrated is all, my head knows whats suppose to be going on but your putting in the wrong info ... pisses me well off big time !

1* very poor

you mixed up the names real bad in chapter 4 and some in chapter 5. you need to redo ch 4 it was the worst. you need one more chapter to finish the story, but be sure not to mix up the names again. other than that it is a good story.

I appreciated where the story was heading, and I thought this would be a great climax to this group of friends who are all interested in Darren. It seemed like Darren had finally pushed Simone far enough where she would be willing to have sex with Darren. Having Annabel as the reveal doesn't make sense in this context at all. First and foremost, we have already established that Annabel is living close enough to Darren's apartment where there is no reason for her to be staying over. Simone has visited Annabel with ease. Secondly, Simone would definitely not bring Annabel back to Darren's apartment after finding out he had been fucking her friends. Third, I don't know enough about Annabel to figure out why she would stay silent while Darren is clearly talking to her as Simone during this scene. Can Darren really not tell the differences between any of these girls? Lastly, for me, it was a letdown. We had been building up to Simone as either "the one" or at least, she would have completed the group. It has been over 3 years since you commented you might make a 6th chapter. Please consider fixing this story.

Story started off great, pretty hot. Then the last installment really fucked it all up. Sadly it was confusing, names were interchsnged msking it hard to know who wad doing who and the surprise inyroduction of Anabelle made no sense.

I've liked everything you've written but this one missed the msrk.

This chapter was a complete MindFuck,thinking Simone was gonna finish her turn with Darren,but instead Annabel their younger sister got to Darren first,and poor Simone lost out,and was angry at everybody for getting fucked by her Brother except her,namely Olivia,Libby,Elly,Lucy,& Annabel.

But honestly it was nobody's fault but Simone's,she had the chance to fuck Darren but she didn't,so Annabel and Simone's Friends rightfully took charge and had sex with Darren.If Simone would get over her damn anger and jealousy them maybe she could fuck Darren like the rest of the girls.

Hopefully Simone can overcome her issues and realize she could be happy sharing with the girls to fuck him,and also turn somewhat bisexual and enjoy eating pussy of her friends and her younger sister so they can all feast on each other.

Oh and truthfully I wish all the girls would just quit College and go live with Darren and become his 6 Girlfriends and fuck 24/7 and live happily ever after.

Was enjoying the stories but the inconsistencies have just piled up and gotten worse with the last by far the worst. I could not finish scolding for scalding being my final straw.

I enjoyed it but this series needs at least one more chapter to wrap it up.

Whaaaaaat the hell happened? It went from Chapter five on My sister and Her Cheerleader Friends to Chapter six of a completely different story! Chapter six seems to be somewhat related but, there is a huge problem of information gaps.