All Comments on 'My Summer Endeavours'

Sad to say, this is pretty amateurish.

More please !

Sad, as this seemed like it was going to be a good story. Soon as I read the childish 10 inch cock, I stopped reading. Why do people have to spoil stories by exaggerating so much. Maybe the writer doesn't realize that less than 0.5% of the world's population has a length of even 8 inches. Possible great story wasted. Such a shame.

18, yes you need to be 18 or over to play here and you most certainly are not.

My cock was hard reading this story, can't wait for chapter 2 hope it involves some panty scheginans

of complete & utter amateurish CRAP!!!

Needs an editor!! a full rewrite !!

just a few examples that makes no sense

1-mom dad divorces he left for younger woman(told us twice,the 2nd time for no reason)

2-our area is hot! so i have Cold shower but then turn water off while jerking off #WHY?

3-Mom goes to work (then for so unknown reason you throw in she rich & really doesn't have to work)Which then makes number 2 stupid! why no Air-Con

4-Found Sisters dilldo which mom( after they had the "sex talk") got for her because she was 3 years younger than 20 #Really! #Really!

5-Masturbating without lube! sister asked him WHY didn't use lube he never saw it in pornos #Really!

6- etc etc etc

at top i said needs a rewrite more i think about it #Fuck that!! Needs Deleting!!!!

grammar!! This story is good, and great sexual description. A very good LW story, and I have given it a 5 to say fuck you dear annony you asshole

"Then she...."

"Then I....."

I think you should have made your cock 10cm. Now that would be interesting.

They tore you a new; must have been Brits of Irish ancestry (small dicks by reputation). The story was funny and amusingly sexual. Given to a nearly 10 incher myself, especially when I was 18 (infamous among family and equally famous among friends...and their sisters), I can appreciate the adoration (even if that truthfully equated to little more than feminine curiosity to see it) a guy experiences from time to time.

That said, there are lots of volunteer editors on this website; you should use one or two. A word on the verbs "to lay" and "to lie:" I laid on the bed. The book was lying (or I laid the book) on the bed. People lay on things. Inanimate objects lie on things. I was taught that over 40 years ago by an English professor. She said she was impressed with my the burgeoning writing skills but she was enthusiastic about my nearly 10 incher! I'd like to think I did well in that class because of my attentive incorporation of her teaching but I'm not diluted enough to believe I was that good a student, academically.

Grammar can be learned, but even with the mistakes, the story flowed, the character of protagonist and the sister and their relationship clear. A reader / editor is usually helpful, but can be hard to find. If you don't have one, it should be on your radar.

I think the story's in California, but could be anywhere in the SW. You turn off water when you aren't rinsing off; it's called water rationing, and could be due to local /state rules, or an eco choice. Point is that it's a realistic detail for those who are aware. The lack of AC, too, might be an eco choice. Or, it might be the result of the divorce. Good point on Mom's work situation being repeated, though to be fair, Mom was doing well and had a flex schedule; not the same as rich and not needing to work at all. In any event, it's nitpicking, considering how the rest of the flowed.

Some who criticize do so without identifying themselves, and often have not written and posted.

Keep writing. You've done a good job so far. 5*

Logged in anony myself as monitor on PC is on fritz (with password), so I have to hunt and peck on my tablet. - T.J. Skywind

It seems Julie and her brother are pretty open about sex and can talk and show & tell; which is great. Maybe, Julie would like to go further and jerk him off or more. Can't wait for the next arousing chapter. Thanks !!

Please continue. This is. Very sweet, very real sibling relationship and the writing is very natural. We need more like it. Good job and hope you continue!

Please continue this really nice and sweet story

Your have a good imagination, but your technique needs polishing. Too many parenthetical phrases, too much missing punctuation and quotes. You have a lot of potential, though. Find an editor and please continue.

I don't know why everyone is giving you such a hard time. I think this story is one of the hottest that I have read in a long time. Maybe your writing style isn't super refined, but who cares! The ideas are really great, and while it toes the line at times, it's not too exaggerated. I'm guessing everyone hating on this story is just upset that their own submissions aren't considered literary masterpieces. Keep up the good work! I'd love to read a part 2 if you have it in you, but please write it your way!

His sister never gave a hint of sex in 18 years. Then when she turned 18, on her birthday, out of the blue, she smiles and jerks her tits out. He accidentally gets caught beating his meat every time you turn around. The weirdo, instead of wanting his dick touched, or to fuck, he prefers to be a fag voyier, to his sister. This story isnt realistic. He was just imagining that his mom and sis, just out of the blue, wanted sex. He was imagfning all this. His mom didnt care that he screwed her daughter. The story never told what his warped mom & sis done later. Not what the women were doing to each other, you sick perverts out there, always think the worst of everyone. At least I can be realistic & funny in my stories. How fricking hard can that be?

After reading the comments so far, I wonder about some of you commenters. What is this site for boys and girls? Canoodling or screwing? I certainly didn't read this story for what I ended up getting.

The old fart

More!

Another chapter would be nice

You lost me when our hero claimed to have a cock "just under 10 inches " long with which he masturbates constantly.