Mystery Motel Ch. 02

"Well, I'm back."

"And I see you're finally trying to do something with that beard other than just let it grow out. Did you hear about Chad and I?"

I just nodded. "Tough break."

"I'm actually really happy I ran into you. I know we've had our differences before but I'm really feeling lost and alone right now. I was hoping we could be friends like we used to be before we dated."

"If you want." I wasn't exactly sure how it was that we'd been friends before the relationship but I wasn't going to argue.

"Thanks. You're a good guy. I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. I am. You have to believe me."

"Ok. No worries. I believe you."

"Thanks."

"And I did hear about the baby. I don't know what the deal is with you and Chad but you know, so long as you understand that there are limits, I don't mind helping out a little bit if you need something small."

"Really. I would actually, really, really appreciate that." She almost sounded like she'd start crying when she said it and then she came close to me and hugged me again but much tighter this time.

Just then Shenhua came over to us. "Hey, don't you think this would look great on you?" she said as she gave me a denim jacket with a fake fur collar. Yeah, that wasn't really my style. How to tell her without hurting her feelings?

"Who's this?" my ex asked.

"Oh. Of course. This is Shenhua, my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? What?" my ex said as she pushed herself away from me and staggered back.

"Yes. Girlfriend." I said. Then I added with a hint of sarcasm, "Is that ok with you?"

"So you're just one of these shitty guys who can't get a real woman so you run off and get some subservient Asian bimbo who you can treat like a slave, is that it? You disgust me. I never, NEVER, want to EVER see you again."

"Ok." I said without flinching. "Bye then."

My ex stormed off and Shenhua was standing there next to me looking puzzled. "Who that?"

"She's my ex girlfriend."

"You date her?"

"Dated, past tense."

"Oh. Ok. Who's Ted?"

"What?"

"You have a brother named Ted?"

"No. What are you talking about?"

"Never mind. You like this jacket?"

"Honestly, not really. I got a lot a nicer jackets already down in the basement."

"Oh. Ok. I send this to my brother then. He love this. When we get back to your home can you show me what in the basement?"

...

That night my mom ordered catering for dinner. Instead of just the family there were a few of my mom's friends there and the old hippie. We were all sitting in the dining room and the hippie was totally surprised about the existence of time zones.

"So like it's 8 o'clock here but it's already tomorrow morning in TAI wan? Wow, man. You guys are so advance you're living in the future, man. Wow. So then, you can read the news and then call us and tell us what's going to happen. Hey, can you find out if I'm going to get arrested tonight? I'd like to know that cause if I am I'd like to make sure to have my wallet on me this time. Last time I forgot my name and I had to sit in holding until they ran my prints."

"Why don't you just keep your wallet on you at all times anyway?" I asked.

"Oh, cause like, one of my buddies, it's like every time I go see him, man, he robs me and won't give me back my wallet. I'm starting to think I don't want to be friends with him no more, man. He has real anger issues."

Then my mom got everyone's attention and said she wanted to make an announcement.

"Thank you all for coming. We wanted everyone here when we let you know that Richard and I are getting married."

My mom was pretending to be so happy when she made the announcement and so everyone was trying to be really happy for her but it was clear that this was all just a train wreck of a choice that was heaped onto the fire of so many bad decisions. But who was I to judge? Maybe she could con Rick to run her motel for her and he could turn it around and actually make it profitable if she would just leave him alone to do it. But maybe that was wishful thinking. I knew I could make the place profitable if she would just leave me alone but I'd given up on my mom ever doing that. The end point was basically that I then felt less shackled to this place. The day was coming when I really could justify leaving for good and my mom wouldn't be able to say a thing to me.

That night after I had fucked Shenhua very calmly and gently she fell asleep telling me she loved me. For whatever reason my body wasn't able to fall asleep yet. I sat up in bed and looked at how this girl had changed my room. Then I found myself looking in the direction of my sister's room. It was like I could see through the wall as I imagined her in there, possibly in a state of partial undress. Oh, I should not be thinking about that.

I turned to Shenhua and I was going to try and wake her up so we could have sex again but she objected. "Again tomorrow." she said. "I tired." Then she said something in Chinese.

Ok. I could wait. It was ok. Only, it wasn't ok. I felt the urge to go to my sister. I felt like something was trying to push me to go see her. To go fuck her. I shook my head forcefully. I laid down next to Shenhua and I held her. No. I wasn't going to do it. No. HELP. Help me. No.

The next morning I felt better. I had had a dream about some crazy stuff but nothing to do with my sister. I was under control. I was ok. I was a bit worried about my feelings but I was under control so it was ok. I looked over at a naked Shenhua and I was calm. I was at peace. I could make it.

I shuffled out of my bedroom with Shenhua to go down to the kitchen and make something for breakfast when I saw my sister walking around in the upstairs hallway in just a towel. And I got my first hard on of the day. No, not when I looked at Shenhua naked in bed. No, I got a hard on looking at my sister in a fucking towel.

I didn't do anything but take it in and then I took a deep breath and went with Shenhua down the stairs. As I was descending I had to take a hard look at myself and decided that I'd go to therapy or something. But how? I didn't know how to do that. How could I find someone qualified to talk with me about this issue? I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone about the issue to get recommendations. Maybe I could do it under a fake name.

Before I could even get food on the table for Shenhua my mom was verbally giving me a whole laundry list of stuff she wanted me to get done for the motel. I tried to politely tell her that I didn't feel I worked there anymore but of course that made her feel like I was ungrateful if I couldn't just help her out with a few things. Those 'few' things she wanted me to do actually added up to a full day's labor that I was giving to her for free. It was so typical that she'd immediately adjust to having me home and find ways to start using me as an employee and doling out work, easing up on others and passing the load to me. And even with mine and my sister's free labor she still couldn't make a profit on the motel after all these years.

I had gotten most of the things done before lunch time but the last things she wanted me to do would have to be done later. I was going to let the person hired to man the office do that work since it was, you know, their job that we paid them money to do. But then I found out that they'd been given the day off by my mom and she wanted me to run the office and check in guests. And the thing was, she actually wouldn't be able to hire someone and have them work that long but having me here she could ask me to waste four hours of my time just to keep the office open. Not like I had a life I could be busy living. How many times had my mom ever run that office herself? Never, that's how many. I made more money from just the interest on the money my dad had given me than I'd earn actually getting paid to do this work for my mom. Why the hell was I still here? Why had I come back? After leaving and then coming back my eyes had really been opened. I couldn't help but compare the work my mom was asking me to do with the kind of work my dad did.

"Hey." my sister's voice interrupted my train of thought.

I looked up from the map website where I had been looking at Italy, specifically a town not far from my dad's villa and imagining going there. I had been wondering how many months of the year my dad actually lived there. Could I get a place on my own?

I looked up at my sister and she looked upset. "What's wrong?"

"The washer is fucked up again."

"Call the guy."

"I did. He can't come until maybe tomorrow."

I shrugged. "Get quarters and go to the laundromat."

"Could you help me with it?"

"Is that secretly code for please do it for me?"

"No. I'll do it, just need you to carry it to the car and help me get it out."

"Get mom to help you. We all know she has the free time."

"Come on. Get real. You know she's not going to help."

"Maybe because we don't ask her."

So my sister got on the phone and I went back to looking at a map and fantasizing about a better life.

"Mom says she's busy and you should help me."

"Tell her I'll have to lock the office."

"She says that's fine. Just lock up and help me with the sheets."

We drove down to the laundromat with the biggest machines and we figured out how many loads we'd need to do and then we got it all started. That left me with my sister there just doing laundry.

"Did I do something to you?" she suddenly asked me.

I was startled by the question. Actually, yes, she did do something to me and I was very adamant that she not know that. "What do you mean?"

"I thought we cleared the air but you're still pushing me away."

"That's not true. How?"

"You're acting different. I don't know."

"I took a trip and I had to really examine what I wanted in life. I'm probably acting different around everyone."

"Oh. Ok. Not just me. Ok."

She started to walk away from me and I was going to just look out the window again but then she spun around and leaned close to me. "No, for real, what is it?"

I was startled again and aware of how my body might be confused about how it was supposed to act around her so I recoiled.

"See." she accused. "What the hell is that?"

"What the hell is what?"

"You act like you don't want to touch me. You don't want to look at me. Fuck, you're worse then some guy who's just looking at my tits when I talk to them. You're always looking at the wall or out the window. I'm right here. Look at me."

"I'm doing that to everybody."

"Liar. No you're not. Why? What is it? What is it about me? Did Angie say something? Chad? What is it?"

"It's nothing. I'm worried."

"About what?"

"Shenhua."

My sister didn't respond. She gave me time to continue speaking and when I didn't she had to encourage me but it was clear that she was annoyed. I was trying to think up what I could say.

"Shenhua really thinks that I'm going to marry her. I never told her that. I never asked her that. But she has it in her head. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Her parents were putting all this pressure on her to get married and I overheard her talking with her parents last night and I thought I heard them ask her if we'd set a date for the wedding. I might be wrong about that, though, because my Chinese still isn't that good."

"And that makes it so that you can't look at me when you talk to me?"

"Not everything is about you."

"Well, something is clearly about me and I'd like to know what it is."

"No one has said anything about you. At least not to me."

"Look, I know someone must have said something to you. I know it."

"The only thing was Chad said he never touched you. I don't know what that was supposed to mean but ..."

"That fucking LIAR."

"Whoa. Calm down. Chill. Ok. It's just me. Ok."

"Chad and I had sex. Ok. I admit it."

I held in my breath and then I just shrugged. "What you do with your sex life is not my business."

And then she hit me with it. "I ... I got pregnant."

That word snapped me into the here and now. "What? You're going to have a baby?"

"No. I don't know what happened. I took a test about the same time that Angie took hers and found out she was pregnant. Mine was positive, too. And then we both thought that we were each going to have a baby for Chad and we started arguing. But then a couple days later I got my period."

"False positive?"

"I guess so. But I swear that's what happened. I did not go get an abortion. I didn't even go near that place."

"Those tests give false positives sometimes. It's rare but I hear it can happen. Even a man can get a positive if he's got certain conditions."

"So no one told you that about me?"

"No. Nobody."

She came close to me and hugged me. "I was going to keep the baby. I was going to be a mom. I had planned it out. I was going to get my own place and maybe run my own business and be a great mom. And now, I'm still washing sheets."

"Well, washing sheets is noble in it's own way."

"What's the point?"

"Clean sheets so our guests don't report us."

"I don't mean that. Why am I still here?"

"Why am I still here?"

"I want to go somewhere. I want to do like you did and just go and see something other than that damn motel."

"Go see dad."

"Mom would kill me."

"I did it and she was ok with it. Just go. Go see dad. Get out of here."

"He's so far away."

"He's at the other end of an airplane flight. Just get your passport, go buy a ticket, and go. What's stopping you? Mom'll be angry about something or other anyway."

"You really think I could just do it?"

"Ok, I want you to stop and think. What's the worst thing I could do to you that wasn't violent where you wouldn't get like physically hurt?"

"What?"

"Think of it and tell me and then that's what I'll do if you don't go and you'll have to let me do it."

"Ok, like what?"

"I'm asking you. Paint your room black? Throw away your CDs?"

"Pst. I can do way worse to you."

"Ok. Like what?"

"I could get you banned from the movie theater, but that's bad for you. If you did that to me I wouldn't care."

"Ok. What's bad for you?"

"I don't know."

"Remember, no violence."

"I guess if you posted nude pictures of me online that would be pretty bad."

"Alright. Let's go with that."

"For real?"

"We set a date and if you haven't gone to see dad by that date then you have to willingly let me take nude pictures of you and willingly let me put them online."

"No. That sucks. What do I get out of the deal?"

"You get to go see dad."

"But if I don't go, then you get to do this thing to me?"

"It's not like I'd enjoy it." So hard to say that with a straight face.

"No, I think we better think of something else to motivate me. Why don't we plan to go together."

"I think the reason mom was ok with me going to see dad was you were still here. If we both 'abandoned' her then I think she'd flip out."

"I don't know if I'd feel safe going all the way by myself."

"You know dad would protect you."

"I know but I'd feel better if you were there."

"And what am I going to do with Shenhua? Leave her here?"

"I don't know. How long can she stay?"

"Three months."

"Ok. So then, when she's ready to go back we both can go with her. And then on the way back home we can go see dad."

"Ok. That works for me."

She let me go and my heart was pounding even as I was from all outwards appearances keeping cool. It was like every cell in my body was telling me to jump her bones right there but I knew it was wrong so I forced my body into submission. No. I can't do that.

After the laundry was done we got back and I opened the office up again. I wondered what Shenhua had done with her day. Finally the hippie showed up for the night shift and I could go have dinner and go to bed.

That night something very strange happened. Shenhua refused me sex. I was puzzled but it was ok. I wasn't a sex fiend or anything. I could go without for a night. I spent another night gripping my sheet as tight as I could in bed wishing for my urge to fuck my sister to just go away.

The next day, I knew my mom was going through the house trying to find me to get me to do stuff for her but I was very clever in avoiding her. I was out of the house with Shenhua and almost downtown when my mom called. I told her I couldn't make it back to the motel to do what she was asking in time so she needed to ask someone else.

My mom was mad but what was she going to do? Kick me out? Man, just give me a reason to leave.

I drove with Shenhua all the way to a theme park and we had a blast just doing fun stuff but when I suggested we go swimming in the indoor pool she told me no. I told her I'd buy her a swimsuit but she told me no. It was no biggie. We had a fun day anyway. I just wished it was enough to get my mind all the way off my sister. It was weird but even as I was doing this and doing that, my sister was always right there lingering in my thoughts no matter how much I wanted her to just go away.

Shenhua and I had a nice dinner at a very nice restaurant but then she seemed worried. I asked her what was wrong and she finally let me in on the secret. She'd started her period and she was out of something and needed to stop and buy something on the way home. She acted like she was really ashamed of it but I couldn't see why. Women have periods. It's part of life.

We stopped at a drug store on the way home and she got what she needed. She was much more relaxed and happy after that and of course I understood that she wouldn't be interested in sex. I mean, I wasn't grossed out by it but girls in the past had told me that they didn't like fucking when they were on their period. When it comes to feminine body parts I defer to what women tell me.

Anyway, so there I was, third night in a row where I felt some urge pushing me to get out of bed and go fuck my sister. I had suggested to Shenhua to stop and stay in a hotel instead of driving all the way back but she really wanted to get home. We got there so late that my sister was already in bed and Rich was the only one still awake.

I went into the living room and then discovered that he was not awake. He'd fallen asleep watching tv.

Shenhua had to take a bath but I convinced her to take a shower because it would be faster. We then got ready for bed and before I even laid down that urge was there. I shuddered and a chill went over me. There was some vortex of negative pressure pulling me to the door. I looked over at Shenhua and she was asleep.

Ok. I was going to go use the restroom. That was it. That was all. I got up and went to force myself to take a piss. Then I left. I went downstairs and found that Rich had gotten up and joined my mom in her room. Ok. That was fine by me. I went back up the stairs and I had to pass my sister's door to get back to my own.

I stopped right outside her door. I could just imagine her in there. But I knew this was wrong. I knew it. I needed to go to bed. I tried to push myself to go to bed. But my feet weren't moving. I slowly opened my sister's door and I looked at her. What now asshole, I thought to myself. Nothing. That's what's now. I turned to leave but then I heard her let out a breath and shift in her position in bed. I should have been scared I'd get caught but then I realized I hadn't done anything but opened her door.

I turned back to her and I slowly moved closer. I couldn't understand my feelings. I wasn't thinking that she was sexy but she clearly was sexy. I wasn't thinking that she was beautiful but of course she was that too. I was just thinking that I wanted her and I wanted her to know that I wanted her. I wanted to fuck her and I wanted her to know that I was the one who'd fucked her. Was this guilt for what I'd done before? Why was I feeling this way?