Narcissus

I was just starting on 'The Dreams in the Witch-House' when I heard someone talking to him.

Looking back I saw a man and his girlfriend? No they had rings on. His wife then standing next to Tyler. I saw my brother nod after a few seconds. The man smiles and they shook hands.

As they walked off I got up and went over to Tyler.

"What was that about?" I ask not looking at the canvas. I know he really doesn't like it when his model sees the painting before it's done.

"The guy wants me to paint him and his wife's portrait." Tyler points over to the tall bell tower. "Over there after lunch."

I grin as part one starts to appear. As I turn to go lay back down I see the canvas. I look away quickly.

A single tear falls from my face to the blanket as I resume my pose.

Tyler was using a lot of artistic license. The girl in the painting was beautiful.

Step two. Make Tyler popular again.

That felt like a two edged sword. I was enjoying the lack of worshipers... a lot. The biggest problem I had was I wasn't sleeping well. Not hearing the constant ringing of a phone was keeping me awake. I decided to skip it for the moment.

Step three. Patch up the lover's quarrel.

I got us moved out of the set of West Side story and into a nice place not to far from the college. I took on a job at a local used book story. When we had no customers, a frequent thing at times, I could study. It didn't pay a ton but with his paintings selling again we managed the rent fairly well.

Actually his paintings were helping with step two. He was, after a few weeks, getting a reputation as a wonderful local artist. If a bit eccentric.

Anyway, the lovers. Tyler and... Tyler

I got him back into the gym. I got us both memberships at a local gym and we were soon regular customers. We also took to jogging around the campus. A very popular past time I soon discovered. The looks he was getting from some of the sweaty young women passing us from the other direction told me step two might be a hell of a lot easier.

Tyler hated mirrors now. He had me brushing his hair every morning. I would get up and get ready for school or work depending on the schedule I had for the day. He would either take his books and head for class or his paints and head for the quad. Before he would leave I would get his brush and fix his hair.

Now understand me at no point in time has my brother suddenly become any less sexy or beautiful. Not to my eyes or the eyes of any other breathing, walking, talking, non-lesbian female. Hell even a few of them would give him the eye. I would look down into those beautiful eyes in that face an angel would envy and run the brush and my finger through his black hair. I would chase away any tangles that had dared to tempt the ruination of perfection.

I finally had to give up on step three for now. I was seriously having a conflict in interest.

Step four? Time.

He needed time to become a know figure around the school. Time for his little eccentric behaviors to be a know thing about him and for them to be accepted.

That became my biggest problem. You see Tyler wanted to have his life miraculously back the way it was.

I had to find him a way to see that it wasn't going to happen over night.

That lead to depression again.

That lead to the night...

"Tyler?"

The house we had rented was old but had been fixed up. Tyler loved it. It was right in the time line that he felt humans should have never moved forwards from. He spent more time hunting old antique stores for furniture that would be 'right' than I thought was wise.

Not that he would buy stuff that was good looking or expensive. No. He converted one of the bedrooms into a workshop and began restoring old furniture whenever he had the time.

His favorite piece? A chair.

No. A throne! It was a massive piece that you had to take apart to get through doorways. He relined it with a crushed black velvet and deep blue leather. He reapplied the gold leaf by hand and spent hours polishing the thing till it wouldn't be out of place in any castle in Europe.

That's where I found him that night.

Passed out.

The bottle of cognac next to him was a gift from an admirer of his work. The man had begged my brother to paint him nude.

Not him nude... Tyler. He wanted to see my brother naked and covered in smears of paint.

Get in fucking line! It starts back in Florida!

Still it must have been good cognac.

I take the glass bottle out his limp fingers and sit it aside. I kneel at his feet, and place my hands on his powerful thighs. I give him a bit of a shake.

"Tyler?"

He doesn't stir in the least. If not for the even rhythm of his breathing I would have been worried. I reach up and brush his hair out his eyes. I caress that beautiful face that has been my curse. He looks so lost. I lean forward and lay my head in his lap and make no attempt to keep back the tears. The irony of this has been tearing me apart for weeks now. I finally don't have to deal with the life I've had and I'm trying with everything I have to bring it back.

I go silent when I feel his hand come to rest on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry Sabely. I never knew. I just didn't think."

When I look up I can see he is still severely drunk. For some reason I see again the brother I once had. The one year older version of myself. The boy, who loved to ride horses, fly fish in mountain stream. Go swimming, gather shells.

"I've let everyone tell me I was perfect." He says in a whisper.

I nod.

I see tears falling down those flawless cheeks.

"I feel broken inside Sabely. Shattered like that mirror I broke. Thousands of little fragments that all give back the full images but are so much lesser than they were when whole. The worlds ignored you because of me. Hasn't it?"

I nod.

"You were the most beautiful girl in our school but they never looked beyond me to see you." I see him swallow. I would have to swallow as well after saying such a load of bullshit. "I'm so sorry Sabely."

"It's alright Tyler...."

"No! It's not!" he stands up quickly then sits back down just as quick. "Whoo...that's some good stuff."

I grin at him and chuckle.

He looks down at me and his face breaks into a smile.

"My beautiful Sabely. I thought I could walk on water. I just didn't know the water was shallow till I stepped into the deep. You saved me from drowning my beautiful Sabely."

"Stop calling me that." I tell him my tone a bit harsh.

He looks down at me and blinks.

"Why?"

"I don't like to be teased about how I look." I tell him as I get to my feet. I turn away from his majesty's golden throne and start across the room.

His fingers are painfully tight as he catches my arm. I'm spun around like a top. He's standing behind me and he looks cold sober. My brown eyes are almost level with his hazel.

"You... Are ... Beautiful!"

I look away from him shaking my head. His hand catches my jaw. I 'm turned painfully back to face him.

"Do you think I'm beautiful? Most everyone has told me that I am. Do you think so?"

I try to move my face away from his but his hand on my chin stops me.

"Yes. Now let me go you're hurting me."

His hand moves from my chin down my jaw line and around to the back of my head in a second. I feel his fingers grab the hairs at the base of my neck. As I arch up I feel his nose touch mine.

"You are almost my twin. I have Mom's hair you have Dads. Other than that we look almost just alike."

Twin tears spring from my eyes to run down to my chin in continuos rivers of pain.

"Stop Teasing ME!"

I see a man then that has gone from drunk to cold sober in seconds. His eyes focus on me with a look of total shock.

Suddenly I'm being turned and pushed before him. His strength, sculpted by years of effort, is impossible to resist. I'm taken down the hall and into the bathroom.

The square of round lightbulbs springs to life around the only mirror left in the house. I'm pushed forward till my stomach is against the sink and my face is only a foot or so from the silvery glass.

I see Tyler move till his face is just beside mine.

"I paint portraits Sabely. I know how a person's face is structured. Look at us."

Against my will I'm made to compare his loveliness and my plain features.

He is even now god like. His dark hair, lovely eyes, full lips, and strong chin. He has the look of the statues of ancient Greece or Rome. Carved from marble, polished till all the edges flow perfectly. Touched by the maker's hand and given a glory that will last till time breaks all beautiful things.

Me? I look like ...me.

I see him slowly shake his head. He leans even further forward his body pressing full up against me.

"You look beautiful. Why can't you see it?"

I feel the warmth of him against me. For a second I want to feel it even more. To feel it from his bare skin.

I push back against him trying to drive him off me. I'm again turned in his hands. My back goes against the cold tile walls.

My brother's eyes are just inches from mine. I can see those wonderful flakes of gold that set his eyes so far above all the rest of us.

I choke down what I'm feeling.

"I..." the words wont come out. "I'm ugly Tyler. Why can't you see that? Why are you teasing me like this? Why? WHY!" I slam my hands against his chest trying to drive him back. He turns lose of my hair and grabs my wrists. My arms are driven out to the side of me and he leans into me. I feel his words as feather whispers against my neck.

"I took to the prom three times the most beautiful woman in our whole damn school. I felt like I was the god of the dance floor because I was dancing with that gorgeous woman. I..."

"Stop IT!" I scream "Stop it please..." my words trail off into tears.

His arms are warm as they close around me. He holds me as I cry into his chest. His hands slide through my hair like fingers of silk. I feel him crying into my neck.

"Sabely...What do I have to do? What do I have to say?" his words are whispers. "Why wont you believe me?"

I hold the Angel of God against me as I cry out my last breath of self-pride. All the years of pain begin to roll over me. All the little slights from our parents at how I'm so much less than his loveliness. I claw at his back, my nails digging into his skin. I feel a need to hurt him. To make him feel all he pain I have felt. The hungry need to be looked at the way he has been.

I slowly pull myself back from his embrace. I look at his face. That gorgeous face. I have an almost overwhelming need to break it. To destroy something beautiful.

"Why wont I believe you?" I bring my hands to his chest and shove him from me! "Why...? You're so beautiful you had to fall in love with yourself! No one in our whole school was good enough for you! You're never going to understand what it's like to be ugly!"

I flee the bathroom and run to my bedroom. I slam the door shaking the whole of that end of the house.

Maybe five seconds after I fall crying into the bed my door lock shatters. The door flies inward hard enough to strike the inner wall and dent the plaster.

Tyler stumbles a bit holding onto the doorframe.

"What the Fuck are you talking about?"

Shaking I lean my back into the fancy eighteen seventies headboard.

"The only person you have ever met that was beautiful enough for you to love is yourself."

His eyebrows come together.

"What in the fucking hell ever gave you an idea like that?"

I slowly bring my hand down from in front of my mouth. I have never in all our years seen him this angry and yet... confused? How can he be confused about this?

"You sit looking into your own reflection for hours Tyler. You caress your own face like a lover. You have burned out hair dryers primping your hair. You...."

"Wait, wait, wait!" he moves forward and crawls onto the foot of my bed. A slow smile is starting to grace his mouth "You think that's why I look in mirrors? Sabely I was studying the bones. You have to know how to paint the understructure of a person's face. I needed to know how the bones move."

I look at him. It takes a second of two for what he says to register.

'And the hair dryers?" I ask.

"I like the way hot air against my face feels. Always have. I'm a sensualist." He shrugs. "I just like the way it feels."

As I watch he crawls up my bed on his knees. A smile is definitely starting to form.

"Come on. Keep it going. Why else do you think I'm in love with myself?"

"After your junior year you never took a single girl from our school out ever again. Why not?" I grab my old stuffed rabbit, Mr. Fluffles, off the bed and pull him up tight against my breasts.

I see him stop. He settles down on the bed his leg against mine. I follow his eyes to my bare feet. I tuck them up under me ashamed of the unpainted toenails.

"You're partially right there. I didn't date the girls from the school after a certain time. It wasn't my junior year. It was after my junior prom."

"But Casidy?'

Tyler chuckles.

"Casidy and me never dated. I was teaching her fine line drawing. I'm the wrong gender for her tastes."

I know my eyes go the size of dinner plates!

"Casidy?"

He nods.

"But...but... But I got undressed in front of her in the gym locker room!" I think back to those memories and feel a shiver of...I don't know what.

"I know. When we...went out...she said she would love to teach you how to dress properly. If for no other reason than to undress you properly."

Tyler is grinning at me.

I feel the heat rise in me again.

"So why after your prom?" I demand.

He looks at me shaking his head.

"Because I took you."

I feel like I've been slapped.

"Oh...so I ruined all other women for you? I don't recall being that bad of a dancer!" I throw Mr. Fluffles at him!

Tyler catches the stuffed rabbit and chuckling, looks down at the old toy.

"I remember when you got this. You were mad at Grandma for getting you this when they got me a bike. You didn't let it show but I saw It." he runs a hand across the ears that long ago lost their fur. "Then you would never be parted with it."

I nod. I hold out my hand and he gives me back Mr. Fluffles. I look at the worn face that soaked up so many of my tears when grandma died.

"Yes you ruined me for other women, Sabely. Not for the reason you were thinking though. In you I had the best that was at our school."

I scoff.

"Oh please! I was the most homely girl in the whole history of the school."

I see his eyes go hard.

"Sabely..." he looks down then back up. His eyes are blazing. "Sable Evening Raines, you are a fool! Half the guys in our school wanted to take you out but were too afraid to ask you."

"The only guys to ever ask me out asked me questions about you all damn night!" I yell at him. I feel the temptation to let fly the 'rabbit of war' again but the tired old toy has had enough for one night.

"They didn't know what to talk to you about!" he yells back at me. "You were the smartest girl in school. You never talked about anything with anyone. You are so private they were intimidated to ask what you like." He sits back shaking his head,

"And the other half?' I ask after a second or silence. "What about them? Were they too intimidated by my...radiant beauty...to even ask?"

Tyler nods.

"A lot of them were. Some were probably worried you were going to wear sweat pants and a sweater on your date. You do know you have the fashion sense of the average bag lady?"

Mr. Fluffles cringes in my hand knowing his flight is imminent. I feel my nose flaring.

"Just because I don't dress like it's eighteen twenty? Sorry but full Elizabethans dresses went out of style before our great great great grand mother was born! They are a bit had to find at Target!"

His eyes leave my face and go down the front of me.

"I would love to see you in an Elizabethan. You would wear it well."

I sigh. In frustration at his continued teasing.

"I would look like a dress on a lamp post."

When I go to slide out the bed and he catches my ankle.

"You didn't ask me why."

"Why what?" I ask tilting my head.

"Why taking you out ruined me for other women."

"I figured one date with me turned you gay."

He throws back his head laughing.

"Oh so now I'm not just in love with myself I'm in love with all men."

I look away from him.

"I'm not gay Sabely...I'm not in love with myself either." I feel his fingers caress my lower leg softly. "I'm in love with you."

I pull my foot away from him.

"Not funny Tyler."

"Do you hear me laughing?" I watch as my brother moves up the bed towards me. "I love you Sabely."

"I love you too Tyler." I tell him exasperated.

He shakes his head,

"No my dear sweet sister...I... love... you. As a man loves a woman. I have since our first dance at the prom. The feeling of you against me as we moved together. The scent of your perfume. Seeing you in a dress for the first time. You looked so beautiful."

"I looked ridiculous. I looked like I was trying to swim in all that blue taffeta."

He grins at me.

"Skinny-dipping it maybe. I loved how you were moving in it."

I shake my head at him. I feel a bit of flattery despite the fact I know he's making fun of me.

"Then this year. My god how beautiful you were. I wanted to dance with you and paint you at the same time.

I chuckle at the visual of him trying to do that.

"See I made you smile." He reaches out and takes my hand. I look at his long delicate fingers the skin slightly tinted from his paints. That small flaw in perfection he allows for the sake of his art. I swallow against the sensations I feel in myself at holding his hand. I look up at him. Part of me wants to see him as he once was but the larger part of me loves the way he looks now. A silent denial of his words sends shivers through me. I know what I look like. I know what I see when I look into the mirror. It's no ravaging beauty. No near copy of his loveliness. I cling to his hand wishing it were so but in my heart I know...

"There's nothing I can say is there?" he asks. I see his eyes on my fingers. He slowly moves his gentle fingers in a soft caress of my skin. "Not a word of mine will convince you that your beautiful will it?"

I slowly shake my head.

I look up to see him lick his lips.

"Well..." he sighs. "So be it."

Tyler crosses the distance to me in a half second. My eyes go wide as his mouth nearly slams into mine. The whole weight of his body pushes me back into the wooden headboard. I try to squeak a protest but all that does is offer my open mouth for his tongue.

Tyler is kissing me!

I feel like a deer in headlights frozen in the glow of the bright lights. The knowledge that my brother is French kissing me washes over me leaving a second feeling of disturbance, then the long wanted feelings I've suppressed for so long come surging forward.

I lift my hand to the side of that beautiful face and tilt my head into the kiss. How soft ...how wonderfully erotic the feeling of his mouth. The skillful playing of his tongue against mine as I start to kiss him back.

I gasp as I feel his strong fingers cup my breast. Then I moan as he finds my nipple. It hardens instantly to his touch.

His mouth drifts downward from mine I arch my head up as his lips kiss their way down the side of my neck. I shiver in pleasure as he kissing the skin under my ear.

I hear my name moaned in breathy whispers.

"Sabely."

The nickname catches me off guard and sends a cold feeling down my back.

"Tyler...Tyler no! We can't do this. It's wrong were brother and sister." I push against my brother's chest. I feel his power. He could resist me if he chose but he slowly moves away from me. I feel a last linger wetness on my neck as his tongue gives me a parting lick.