All Comments on 'Naughty Girl Ch. 01'

I cannot wait to read chapter two to read of what becomes of Bernice with her playing the role of damsil in distress.

ood story so far nice tuch must be more maybey she got lucky and and had 6 studs fuck her

I could not get through the story. You put commas where you don't need them and they were almost in all sentences! It was annoying!

I am confused. Apparently the author is switching between "what previously happened" and what is happening right now -- without any clue as to which one talking about except for a new paragraph? I found it very confusing! Other stories by this author are good, but this one is like 2 stories in one. If the story that is at the beginning is considered the present, then there is at least one past event or TWO also being mentioned, but not in the past tense.

The parts with her colleague are fantasy sections, where she imagines what would have happened if her colleague had recognized her.

Love the opening, love the fantasy story within a story as she masturbated in the park imagining her employee using her in the office. All very nicely done, can't wait to see more!

I do not usually read hetero stories, but yours are the exception. I love the grown woman regressing theme.

Sorry, but for me fantasy has to not break reality. Submissive does not mean doormat that can't say no, nor stop themselves being dragged off by strangers with little resistance. Nor do I see any reason he couldn't say she was his wife. Why would he care what some kid things about them playing a game? He let her be hurt and dragged off. Total bullshit.

Were you sober when written? Sounds like more than one story being told and switches time from present to past and back again! Total Trash

I gave up halfway through - the story is confusing and all over the place. And the use of the worrd “Ruffian” - please!

Hmm. Some parts are okay, others not plausible. Why would she go to a park that she worked at? That is not logical. Then, at the end, you shifted to the man's POV, which threw it off. The mid parts where she is imagining things was confusing to me.

Now I like the idea of a 30'ish women dressing up like a slutty high school girl, getting caught by a group of collage kids and getting taken advantage of, it just needs more focus. ,

Where did you get the idea that she worked at a park? It just so happened that one of her colleagues was there taking a walk. It is a very large park with ranges in vehicles so it was bad luck for her good for the story to meet.