All Comments on 'New Girl in Town Pt. 02'

keep em coming.

I am liking the buildup you have. they are developing into strong characters. Jake and Jessica could almost be a romance. Hopefully it won't be as long for chapter 3,

Edit edit edit! Good story but a little hard to read in some places!

Thank you so much for writing this wonderful story. Please keep it up and hopefully you will post chapters quickly if you are able

More please. And soon?

... a load of squit!

Story telling ability of a first grader!!

Last paragraph (as an example) -"She thinks about that for a minute then nods. "All right, I'm still not sure that I believe in Staci's meteoric fall from grace but I trust you on this. Just know that if they stab us in the back I'm kicking someone's ass."

Suggested alternative - "She thought about that for a minute then nodded. "All right, I'm still not sure that I believe in Staci's meteoric fall from grace but I trust you on this. Just know that if they stab us in the back I'm kicking someone's ass."

Thank you for sharing a cool story. But, put your pen on the paper as soon as possible for the next Chapter. Or else, Dr Golden will scold you.

Ignore the anonymous haters. Minor editing stuff that i couldnt really care less about. I love the story and the buildup. You have a talent for story telling. Please keep it up.

Great story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Getting us to know the characters is a good start.

Interesting how the people who are telling you how to write don't identify themselves.

Keep writing.

Keep up the fantastic work. Can't wait for the next installment.

I love this series the humor is spot on and the pacing is good imo. Keep it up and I can't wait for part 3.

I can't help but think of a Patrick as Biff from Back to the Future. Love the story hope you have more free time to write faster.

When is part 3 coming out? Love the stories so far.

Pretty fun story, good high school romance.

The only real critique I have is the dialogue is pretty campy, it doesn't sound quite like how normal human beings talk. My only advice would be try and picture how normal teenagers interact with each other and go from there.

You are a good story teller but your English is woefully weak. The biggest problem is the constant switching between past and present tenses and first and third person point of view. I didn't star it at all because in some respects it rated a 4+ and in others did not even rate a 1.

Really enjoying the story, but not sure why everyone in the gang teases Jake and no one else. He seems very thick skinned, but if it was a true group of friends they would all tease each other to some extent. The Jake teasing is overkill!

Obviously you have no clue. Couldn't even get through the second chapter becuse you epress highschool kids like they are from the 70's. Too much joking and puns. No reality. If this is how you think real life is, well you must be a recluse that has never had a relationship. Lets not mention the little girl. Lol!

Great work. Ignore the criticism of those who do nothing but criticise.

Have other things to do, my own story to write but can't put this away. Gotta keep reading. Dislike the gang with a vengeance but that's part of the story, supposed to. Wouldn't be as fun a story without that interaction.

23 chapters for some high school crap. Don’t ignore criticism. You have a good story it’s just a long one for a high school bully love story. But BruceWo is wrong, never ignore criticism. It may hurt but you can’t get better if you only see praise.

I've read the story before and still enjoy it. People who comment on how it is not realistic must not realize it is fiction and not based on real life events. If you are looking for something more realistic try a nonfiction story or turn on the news. These stories are for amusement and personal enjoyment. So read on if you enjoy or change the channel if you don't.

Ah, the plot thickens how are Jake and Ray gonna handle Patrick and his goons? Good story. It almost like being back in HS but I never had this kind drama, I was a bit of loaner. Had a girl on off but you know girls she had to bring a college guy to the prom and I didn't have a car.

Great chapter! Thanks for the story!

It's annoying how untouchable/powerful Patrick the villain is. It's a bit much.

When I was in high school, as well as my children, teachers ate in the lunch room and Patricks were not tolerated. My coaches did not ignore or dismiss the activities of Patricks on the field or track.

There were suspensions from school and teams.

Of course nowadays everyone is cowed by Karens but with the number of cameras around you'd think a Patrick and mom Karen would be laughed out of the building. But school boards today seem to be all about politics and not education.

You have an odd habit of leaning out random words lol. Also I really want someone to fuck up Patrick and Jaimies lives