All Comments on 'New View Ch. 02'

by shaide87

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  • 31 Comments
JTDavis7776JTDavis7776over 10 years ago
worth the wait

Great story started a lil slow but it picked up speed I'm just wonderin how you are goin to continue with jason are we doin to see the dark side of him that was mentioned will there dad fine out them will there uncle say Something to katie and what is her friend goin to say about her thinkin of jason I just hope the next chapter is a great one too

teddybearclubteddybearclubover 10 years ago
5 of 5

She better hide the stuff or she'll get caught up in her own little conniving game.

redlion75redlion75over 10 years ago

and what will terri want in return?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
good story but...

I hope you don't go to sideways with it.it was looking like a nice love story,but now you have sis doing bad things to get to bro.all she has to do is go talk to him if she wants him,but her doing these things will blow up in her face.that will make it a darker story if that's what you are going for,but i don't think that's what you started your story out to be. It is your story to do what ever you want with it,but i hope it will have a happy ending.

Snowflake0423Snowflake0423over 10 years ago
Loving this story

I hope you keep writing , interested in how this story lays out if this was an actual book it would be a real page turner ;)

Bemster82Bemster82over 10 years ago
More

Must have more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good

It was a good story and you're a great writer but I was really hoping the relationship between Katie and Jason would have progressed, past just the kissing. They don't necessarily have to have slept with each other but maybe spend more than just a few minutes together.

I agree with anonymous below and really hope it has a happy ending.

Can't wait for the next chapter :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Keep writing for god's sake

Really like where this is going. Just please make longer chapters!

SwifthawkSwifthawkover 10 years ago
Keep it up

You are weaving a pretty good story here, still don't like the main character and I think she's going to be in for a world of trouble, but still also love the story. Looking forward to more and thanks again for sharing.

arrowglassarrowglassover 10 years ago
Great story......!

Like the story a lot....like where it is going...little zings here and there...looking forward to the next chapter!! Keep it up!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Sexy sleepover, really?

The story is developing well without any need for pandering and the gratuitous sorta lesbo part. Stick to the theme.

biotecbiotecover 10 years ago

has Pandora come out? this is on its way to be a great story. thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

The main character i forgot her name does not deserve Jason. She was a complete bitch to him & now she doing crazy shit like this. I don't like her she's calling Layla a snake but she's one also.

WarfolomeiWarfolomeiover 10 years ago
So...

the first chapter wasn't just a lucky hit. You managed to keep the heat up, even going into directions I wasn't expecting it to.

Definitely loving this "possessive" attitude of hers. Don't change it.

Lala's life story felt a bit rushed and Jason sudden status change into "richy rich" a bit cliche, unless there is insurance involved.

A lot of things happened here, can't wait to read what happens next. Good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
eek

I hope Jason doesn't have any bunnies because she's going to be boiling them soon. I can't wait to read the next chapter

dmg43dmg43over 10 years ago
Pretty

good so far......tho I could do without all her mastabutory fantasies that seem to run for paragraphs......how about LESS of THAT & a LOT more story????":

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I agree

dmg43 is right, I find myself skipping over her fantasies to get back to the story.

eodomeodomover 10 years ago
Where'd they go

Still waiting on another chapter, is it coming (no pun intended)?

shaide87shaide87over 10 years agoAuthor
YES

I am currently working on chapter 3! I promise not to leave the story hanging like that! It would kill me too!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Hmm

Wouldn't it be interesting if Jason doesn't actually live up to her standards?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
I am also in agreement

Less fantasy more good story. And don't make us wait!! Please!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Please tell me there is going to be more. The lead up is awesome, the fantasy is torture but the writing is murderous! Please keep this going. The dynamic you created is awesome and it would be a shame if it didn't continue! Just saying...

shaide87shaide87over 10 years agoAuthor
Its Almost Here

I just finished Ch3, so be on the look out for it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
WHERE??

where is the third chapter you promised??

atheist_liberalatheist_liberalover 10 years ago
I had high hopes for this series

But the sister is a grade-A bitch who should be in jail for planting drugs on someone else's property. Fuck this shit.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Wups! Lol. Gotta love this sensibly devious girl out for her man, even if she is a plastic snooty stuck-up barbydoll!

atheist_liberalatheist_liberalover 8 years ago
This series isn't for me anymore.

Katie is just a fundamentally horrible human being. I hope she gets locked up for trying to plant narcotics on Lala.

atheist_liberalatheist_liberalover 8 years ago
One Star

For that criminal stunt Katie pulled.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
SUBSTANTIALLY BETTER SUPPORT FROM LIZHAZE!!!! PRAISEWORTHY WORK!!!

GOOD STORY GOOD EDITING!!!! A DYNAMITE COMBINATION!!!! KEEP UP THE HIGH STAMDARDS!!!! LizHaze = editing prowess

Sibling Cold War (sibling cold war)

high calorie (high-calorie)

you next door neighbor (your next-door)

fly by night (fly-by-night)

store bought (store-bought)

hair line (hairline)

sleepy head (sleepyhead)

everything (a) woman was supposed to be

entry way (entryway)

Daddy (daddy)

You lucky (You’re)

dirtyoldbimandirtyoldbimanover 1 year ago

hope the end is coming soon. can't take many more pages of a spoiled, semi-stupid girl Jilling off and dreaming

ScottishTexanScottishTexan10 months ago

Dun duh DUUUNNNN!!!! BUSTED!!! roflmao! Excellent ending! Parts 1 and 2 both rated 5/5.

But seriously! There's a simple trick for when you're writing about two people and you want to correctly use "Jason and I" or "Jason and me" in the sentence.

The trick is to try the sentence WITHOUT the "Jason and" in it. If the sentence is correct with the personal pronoun "me" in it, then it is ALSO going to be correct for "Jason and me". It's just that easy. For example:

Jason and I went to the store.

Sharron caught Jason and me kissing each other.

Easy peasy.

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I'm really excited about this one. Then again, I'm excited about my all my stories, soooo.... But this one! Not much to tell really. Just your above average guy with a below average lifestyle, so I have a lot of free time. I've been a fan of the site for a while and decid...

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