All Comments on 'Nicole In Our Bed'

Well written story, Please keep writing more chapters.

Looking forward to Christmas Vacation.

Good stuff. Keep it up.

Sensual, sexy, savory, and fun! Very descriptive. Keep it UP *w* ;P

Terrific POV story. Absolutely believable when you think of converting fantasy into reality and dealing with stuff you have never done before. I know that for guys it's just "man up and go for it", but this story had the right feel for the woman's POV. However, the "guest star" seemed WAY too experienced to believably be the college kid from down the street. I guess there has to be some fantasy in the fantasy!

one awesome story / NICLOE IN OUR BED .

reading this was like watching it taking place . would love more of you and nicole .

alone nothing better than two woman licking together.

OMG definitely HOT! But I gotta agree, 18 and all that experience? Can't wait to hear about the next time. There will be a next time, won't there?

Great stuff, wish Nicole lived here!

Good internal dialoge. Wife's doubts and insecurities are believable, but the husband was a little passive and one dimensional. On second thought, the lucky bastard probably didn't want to upset the apple cart and would have agreed to anything, gladly. And no teenager knows that much, that young. Not your first erotic writing foray, I suspect, and it reflects years of married sexual experience. Are you published elsewhere? Suspect you are a woman.

Absolutely amazing writing! I could see it happening. I could feel it.

The pacing was perfect, the flashbacks interspersed with the action timed well and short enough to add instead of distract. The sex was incredibly hot, and you had the great sense not to push it too far. But what really brings it home is the very real character of the wife. You put life in her, made her a real human, and not just a one-dimensional character.

Kudos, Jay. Really well done. Keep up the good work!

Amazing! What a breath of fresh, invigorating and tangy air after reading dozens of unimaginative and mundane stories by others. This is a classic. Soft, hard, sweet, sweaty. This is writing. This is art!

Easily one of the best stories I've read on this site, or any other. Genuine plotting, dialogue, description: I had no hesitation awarding this five stars. Have you considered trying to place this in an erotic magazine or anthology?

u lucky man

What a great story. I loved the flashes of conversation interspersed with the sex scenes.

You really built the sexual tension and it made me so hot just reading it.

I can't wait to read more of your work. It was really well written. Definitely one of the best stories I have read on here and other sites. A new favourite.

I love the way you moved from anxiety and timidity to lust and back to friendship many times. Having been in a similar situation I want to thank you for keeping Nicole a real person rather than a human sex toy. This is a wonderful read - great images.

I'm waiting for Christmas Vacation. Enjoyed your story. Thanks.

Your first post was amazing. I liked how you flashbacked to how they got in this situation in the first place. and the pace of the eroticism was amazing! I hope we get a Xmas vacation story!

Congratulations. You have a rare facility with the language, and an imagination to weave dreams. Really well done. Loved it!

see title of my comment

To write a story is easy. To write a good story is harder. To write a story of quality, like this, means the person has either worked hard to get it right or is naturally gifted. Which ever it was, the result was beautiful.

This story is true erotic literature. One would be hard pressed to find a better example of what a great erotic short story should be. Well written with an excellent use of grammar, syntax and perfect spelling, the plot is interesting and unique with an unusual twist in its perspective. It shows a very fine talent in its author, and an equally impressive editing as well. Clearly a five star submission! Do keep up the good work.

Possibly the best thing I've read on this site, ever!

Not much I can add to the kudos of the other comments. Excellent pacing, dialogue, thoughts and descriptions. If you've ever been in a situation like this it really puts you back there. If you haven't, it should make you want to. 5*s.

If only I could find a girl like that and get MY wife to go along with it!!!

A sequel could be fun.

This is pretty much the same thoughts I had during my husband and I's first threesome! Awesome story. ;)

I really loved your story. Would love to read the next!

well told, good pacing, i enjoyed the wife's pov,,,,very believable,,very erotic!! want more!! please!!

Not 'taunt';taut.

Change the 'loosing' to losing.

Not 'to hard'; too hard.

Thanks for sharing!

JP

One of the best I've ever read!

Very well done!

Best story I've read! Please more!!!

Thanks, brilliant story, more please

Super hot story!

WOW FUCKING WOW soooooooooooooo good sooooooooooooo want ours to be like this mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm xxx

Sexy and horny

Covered so many aspects of threesome sex

Very well done

Best story I have read in awhile. Would love to read more of your work.

Detail was very good. Kept my attention as well as kept my pussy weeeeettttt

SO hope you'll considering another story, tho, after 4 years , sadly realize it might not happen.

Loved her internal dialogue....

5, fave story and author -seriously hope you get the itch to write again ...you have a gift...

... that you haven't done more (much more) than just the two stories.

Loved the way this one was done, with Nicole's other commentary. Added a different aspect.

Well done, and I really wish there were more.

The character development is suburb. Felt like I was the guy and wanted my wife to be my partner,. The description of the sex acts is just enough to get the story told without too much information

Nice exploration of the internal monologue. Would love it if you shared more work with us, or if more literoticans delved into their characters' heads.

That was just a fabulous piece of writing!! Loved the tension and apprehension, and the pussy-licking had me horny, wet and reaching for the vibrator!

Jesus! Very nice FFM story. The kitty kissing is some of the best I have seen written here. Very believable characters. A nice sense of he apprehension of sharing with another. A great use of the bravado .. I can brag and talk about this because there is no way it will ever happen ... eeeep!

I am just sitting here with an erection in my trousers smiling .... not a bad critique in itself!

Great choice of wife's POV, good use of an internal monologue for her, and good work having the wife work her way from apprehension through surprise at how comfortable she was with the experience. Gave a kind of credibility to the story. Please share more of your writing!

I loved this story for its tensions: the predicament of the wife... wanting but hesitant, but knowing that hesitation kills the mood for her husband.

Fulfilling fantasy has the obvious reward balanced with unknowable risks... can they handle the jelousy, will the fantasy not be as good as imagined.

Having a “safe” partner to play with still has its anxieties.

I enjoyed this story as it reflected some of my own challenges in exploring poly relating. I must read more of your work... Thankyou so much for contributing.

Definitely the best story in Literotica! I stroked all the way through. Great character development and real, honest thoughts and dialog. Loved it. So sad you've taken a sabbatical from writing.

I'm sure all authors here are nice people but some are not very good writers. Some are fair, some are good and some are very good. A very, very few are extraordinary. As a writer, you are extraordinary. Plot and character development, detailing, subtlety, nuance - excellent. Brava.

You are by an extraordinary distance one of, if not the best writers I’ve found in my far too many years on this platform. Thank you!

What an incredibly well written story detailing the beauty of human sex in all of its forms.

I could almost smell their sex.

Imagined tasting Nicole's toes, and smelling her bum.

Wishing Nicole would have tasted the wife's anus while going down on her.

Truly a joy to read.

Thanks.

Never seen this error until I encountered Literotica. Seems odd. I've read more stories on here with the error than stories where the word 'taut' is used properly.

'stroked her taunt tummy' ... 'taut', not 'taunt'

'up the underside of her taunt breasts,' ... 'taut', not 'taunt'

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/taut#note-1

The kind of story and writing that I always hope to find, but of course rarely do. That's what makes this like gold. A precious erotic discovery.

Told from a woman's point of view, she is at times hesitant and in-her-own-head, but remains curious, loving and open to a long promised three way experience with her husband and neighbor.

Truly one of my all time favorite stories, and as another has already commented, I could almost smell the sex. Yes, the writing is that good.

Sooooo fucking hot.

This was one of the best-constructed stories I have read on this platform. Brilliant dialogue, good and varied pace, very believable apart from Nicole being quite so experienced; I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I hope you do some further writing on here, but since it's now nearly 8 years ago I presume you have given up, or moved on to better things - your talent surely warrants that.

A truly wonderful piece of writing. The language, the rhythm, the atmosphere. So erotic and so human. Thank you very VERY much for sharing this.

I have been a reader here for a long long time and this is the best!

By far the best I have read on this or any site. Five stars will be forever more difficult to share. As others have said, the pace and wordage are wonderfully managed and executed. Very nicely done.

Loved the composition, the pace, the anxiety, the tenderness, the teasing - everything!

Of the hundred or so stories I've read on this site, yours is the best so far. I loved the unusual perspective of the participant wife's POV. Excellent sex scenes and use of nearly non-coherent passages at appropriate times made this the most erotic I've read.

Thank goodness you know the difference between 'breathe' and 'breath' and all their forms and tenses. Other authors on the site could take lessons from you. Remarkably few spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors which distract from so many other stories. (Page 4 about 1/3 of the way down, 30th paragraph, tongue is misspelled "t0ngue". Maybe one or two others earlier but way less than usual)

Thank you for sharing this beautifully crafted, hyper erotic sexy story. You have given my lovely Mrs. and I something to aspire to.

Best story ever

Please keep writing

PLEASE come back...

I could have given it a 6 stars. I was a man in a situation like this a long time ago.

One of the best stories in Literotica, bar none.

Superb story. We’ll be trying some of this story out soon enough. A wonderful read. Bravo.

Amazing well written detailed description of the delicious passionate sex.

One of the very best. You took your time with each phase of the threesome. You could have left out the fourth round and it would have been ok. Keep on writing , master!

"So she likes stories with a little more bite. Twisty little tales of unexpected sex, nervous sex, reluctant sex, surprising sex"

I know you have been gone for a long time but jic...well done and you have a great ability to do the above splendidly. It's a shame you stopped at two stories.

Just a delicious romp with awesome details from both women's minds and eyes. Excellent!!

Just reread this, still one of the best on this site!

I love the hot plot itself and your super hot emotional detail, but I think this story and your style seems to relate so well to how many wives must feel. I’m guessing I’m not the only wife that has slowly grown to like and share my husband’s fantasies, but this story actually felt real to me, from the young girl initiating it to wife’s inner need to reciprocate. Your description of the smells and tastes made me ache to have an opportunity like that. Than you

Very well written.

That was really well done, I enjoyed it all. You brought out everything so clearly, from her nervousness to thoroughly enjoying her encounter.

Beautifuly written….

To be honest it took me back about 17 years when my wife and I enjoyed a similar experience.

Not with one so young but my word the memories will last a lifetime.

I shall let my wife read this later xx

Thank you - please write more stories

A wonderfully written piece of erotica. Lovely images and a solid engaging style. VERY nice!

you are found out!! very professionally written erotic tale,,one of the best on this site,,the two stories here were merely practice or an exercise for you and now have returned to your public life!! lolol,,

I like the stories that women write. I enjoy the intricacies of a womans' sexual mind.

I enjoyed this.

Thank you

Lass Lover