Nine Million Bicycles

It was a breakup song that started out, "Sunday mornin' man she woke up fightin' mad. Bitchin' and moanin' all day long 'bout the time I had."

"My roommate loved this guy, and she listened to him all the time. I kinda like this song, myself. It's not bad, huh?" Eileen yelled over the noise.

The guy in the song had his whole life turn around for the better when his girlfriend walked out, and for the next three weeks he was on 'one hell of a redneck roll' winning scratch off tickets and the 'four-day, three-night beach vacation, deep-sea señorita fishin' down in Panama.'

The line that really got to her was when he sang, "What I thought was gonna be the death of me was my saving grace."

Paula didn't hear much after that as she allowed herself to wonder for the first time if the betrayal and divorce she thought would kill her might somehow become her saving grace. She had no idea how that could happen, but if she could just get over the bitterness, that would be a huge step in the right direction.

"Mom! Call in!" Eileen hollered interrupting her thoughts.

Her daughter turned the volume down as she found KNOT at the top of the 'previous calls' list on her mom's phone then punched it before handing it to her mom.

"KNOT radio, what is your request?" she heard a familiar voice say.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my ex-future husband," Paula said trying not to laugh as Eileen air clapped in support.

"Oh, my. I really dug myself into a deep hole, didn't I?" Lake teased back. "What can I play for you today, Miss Paula?"

"I loved the song that just played. You know, by Luke Something or Other."

"Ah, okay. You mean 'When it Rains, It Pours' by Luke Combs. Okay. Got it."

"Bye, Lake!" both she and Eileen said.

"Bye, Paula, and please, please forgive me, okay, honey?" Lake said playfully in a Southern accent.

The phone went dead as the two women laughed and Eileen again praised her mom for breaking out of her comfort zone.

"It's easy when you're on the phone," her mom says. "Or at least...easy—er."

Paula's song wasn't played that day, but she kept the radio on anyway. It wasn't loud, but it was on, and the more she listened, the more she enjoyed it. Okay, she wasn't quite enjoying it yet, but she hated country music a little less by the hour.

The next day was Friday, and Eileen had to leave Sunday morning, so this was their last Yoga class, and their last call-in to KNOT.

Lake surprised Paula when he picked up and said, "Hello, baby. Have you forgiven me yet?"

She and Eileen laughed loudly.

"How did you know it's me?" she asked, forgetting about Caller ID due to her sudden good mood.

"You can change your number on me, sweetheart, but I'll always know it's you," Lake told her. "In fact, you can...."

He started singing another song Paula'd never heard by Lucinda Williams: "I changed the locks on my front door so you can't see me anymore."

Lake laughed then said, "So even if you change the locks on our house, it'll always be home because the woman I love is there."

He was speaking with a heavy country twang, and both she and Eileen couldn't stop laughing.

"You got a song for me today, Paula?"

"I did, but you made me forget which one," she said when she realized she'd completely lost her train of thought.

"How about the one I was just singing? Could we play 'I Changed the Locks' for you?"

"Um...sure," Paula told her.

"You got it, sweetie!" Lake said before hanging up.

"He sounds...sexy, Mom," Eileen said.

"How can you tell that just by listening?" her mom asked.

"I didn't say he looks sexy. I just like his voice. And he sounds like he'd be a lot of fun."

"Oh. Okay. I guess that's possible," her mother admitted.

Paula had her phone out and was ready just in case as they ate lunch. So when the DJ announced it was the request song of the day, she grabbed it and got ready.

It was her song again, but she'd never heard it beyond the first couple of bars Lake sang for her, so it took her a second before she hit 'dial'.

"KNOT radio. You are lucky caller number 9!" Lake said.

"I am? Really?" Paula said in disbelief.

They heard Lake laughing as he said, "You are indeed. You're one of our finalists now, so when the big drawing comes up at the end of the month, I hope you'll consider taking me to Panama with you, honey. There's nothing like a foreign getaway to rekindle the romance."

Paula laughed loudly then told Lake, "You're gonna have to prove to me you've changed. Otherwise, I'll be taking my daughter instead."

Lake's reply surprised her.

"You mean...our daughter...right?"

She had it on speaker so Eileen heard every word.

"Hey, Daddy!" Eileen called out.

"Oh, my. Is that...other woman...your daughter?" Lake asked.

"She is. My amazing and beautiful daughter who just graduated from college who's starting a new job on Monday."

Lake whistled and said she must be very proud.

"Very!" Paula replied.

"Unfortunately, I've got another dozen or so callers' hearts to break, so I have to let you go," Lake told her.

"Gee, and just when I thought you and I might work things out," she teased.

"I'm gonna miss hearing your voice every day, Paula," he told her.

"Then call HER!" Eileen hollered out.

"Stop!" her mom said as she covered the phone the way people used to cover the mouthpiece on an old-school phone as though it would keep Lake from hearing.

"You think she'd mind?" Lake asked.

"NO!" Eileen yelled. "Just call her! She's gorgeous! And SINGLE!"

They heard Lake chuckle before he signed off.

Paula set the phone down then said, "I won! I actually won!"

"Um...not exactly," her daughter said, a kind of 'wince' on her face. "You only got your name added to the list of other callers. But now you're at least in the running."

"Party pooper!" her mom said trying to sound mad.

"But who knows, right? Maybe Lake actually will give you a call!" Eileen said changing the notion of 'winning' from the vacation to having a stranger call her mom.

"Ha! Right. Now that he knows I have a daughter your age...ha!"

Her mom's comment took the wind out of Eileen's sails leaving her nothing more to say other than, "I think I'll go take a shower and finish packing."

Her mom sighed then said in a much more subdued tone, "Oh, right. Just one more day, huh?"

"Day and a half," Eileen said, trying to mitigate the problem.

"As they say, all good things must come to an end," her mother said, trying to hide her sadness.

Eileen walked over and hugged her mom then trotted out a cliche of her own.

"When one door closes another one opens."

"It's okay, honey. I need to get back to work next week, anyway. So at least I can stay busy a few hours a day after you leave."

Eileen pulled back then said, "Will you be okay? I mean, is there any chance you're going to...have a relapse?"

Her mom smiled, hugged her daughter then told her, "No. There's no chance of that. Like my marriage, as you so rightly said, that's all behind me. I don't ever want to sink that low again. Besides, I'm finally really enjoying Yoga, and I love the way eating healthy makes me feel. So, no. I'll be fine. I promise."

"Okay, but I really am just an hour away. Don't forget that."

"You're still here for another day and a half, so let's focus on that, shall we?"

Eileen smiled then said, "Deal!"

When Paula said goodbye to her daughter Sunday morning, she somehow managed not to cry until after the U-Haul truck was out of sight. But once she knew she was all alone, she lost it even worse than the day she and her almost ex-husband had dropped her off at college four years ago.

She let herself cry for nearly an hour off and on then decided enough was enough. She wasn't sure where the inner strength came from, but she stopped the flow of tears, washed her face, then pulled out her Yoga mat and went through an entire routine on her own using a video she'd purchased a couple of weeks back.

An hour later, she felt significantly better, and after taking a long, hot shower, sat down with a cup of tea and turned on the radio.

She wasn't paying much attention until the DJ said, "This next song is a dedication. And it comes from one of our own. Our dedicated call screener, Lake Jeffries, wanted me to send this out to someone he's had a really great time talking to on our request line. So this is for someone special named Paula, the woman Lake jokingly says is his future wife. Paula, whoever you may be, I hope you're listening, because this one's for you."

She sat there frozen in her chair until the first notes came on then got up and turned the volume up.

"Her day starts with a coffee, and ends with a wine, takes forever to get ready so she's never on time...for anything."

As she listened, Paula teared up again until the song ended when she heard the DJ say, "That was 'Beautiful Crazy' by Luke Combs and dedicated to Paula by our own Lake Jeffries, and we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."

Paula turned the radio off, grabbed her phone, then sat back down. She Googled the song, found it in seconds, then played it again.

Unlike "When it Rains, It Pours", this song was a tear-your-heart love song along the lines of "Nine Million Bicycles", and she sat there listening to it over and over for nearly an hour before a text from Eileen gave her a reason to stop.

"Hey, Mom! I'm here. I'll call you once I have a few minutes. Love you! Eye."

'Eye' was her childhood thing that stood for the first sound in Eileen's name and what she called herself many times before the 'leen' part came along with it.

"That's wonderful, honey! Call or text me anytime, okay! Love you back! Mom."

After she hit 'send' Paula realized she hadn't eaten anything all day, and got up to make herself a sandwich. She was reaching for the bread in the pantry when her phone rang. She set the bread down, smiled, and reached for the phone, certain it was her daughter, who, like her, couldn't wait any longer to talk.

She didn't recognize the number so her smile faded as she cautiously said, "Hello?"

"Paula?" she heard a male voice say.

"Yes?"

"This is um...Lake. Jeffries. From KNOT?"

Paula finally recognized the voice then said, "Oh, my goodness. Lake! Hi. This is a very pleasant surprise."

"Oh, good. I had no idea what you might think. I sat here after...."

He stopped in mid-sentence then said, "I had the station play a song for you. I don't know if you were listening or not, but...."

"It was beautiful," she told him truthfully.

"So you liked it?" he asked very tentatively.

"I loved it. I've never heard it before, but I sat and listened to it for the longest time. But yes, I did hear it. That was very nice of you."

"So...have you forgiven me yet?" he said, not sure she'd 'get it'.

It took Paula a second, but she laughed when she did.

"Yes. All is forgiven. Anyone who would dedicate something so...."

Now she stopped in order to find the right word.

"I was going to say 'romantic' but since we don't even know each other...."

"We um...could change that," she heard him say just as tentatively.

When two or three seconds passed without a response, Lake said, "I sat here for the longest time debating about calling you. I have no idea why I did, and after saying that you probably think I'm some kind of...psycho...stalker guy who...."

"You're not, are you?" she asked. "A psycho stalker guy?"

Relieved she wasn't angry, Lake laughed.

"No. I'm definitely not. I'm just a guy who takes calls at a radio station who really enjoyed talking with you whenever you called."

"I...I enjoyed talking with you, too," Paula told him truthfully.

"As I sat here going back and forth about whether or not to call, the thing your daughter said was what pushed me over the edge."

He paused then said, "Or maybe I just fell...off...the ledge."

Paula laughed again then told him he'd done no such thing.

"So...you really are single?" he asked, that same hesitation in his voice.

"Yes. Well, I'm actually on the verge of being divorced, which is a whole other story, but in all but the legal sense, I am single."

"I'd say 'I'm glad' but not knowing the circumstances, I don't want to jump off yet another 'ledge' here," he told her, his voice sounding more confident.

"You haven't jumped off of any ledge, Lake. I'm actually glad you called. My daughter just left for her new job today, and between that and your dedication song, I've kind of had a bit of a difficult morning."

"I hope I didn't add to your sadness," he said immediately.

"No. Not at all. That was a different kind of sadness. More a sort of melancholy kind of thing because of the divorce and my daughter leaving. But the song didn't make me sad. It...it just...I don't know. I guess it really touched me or something."

"Then I will say 'I'm glad'...to that."

There was another moment of silence before Lake said, "Am I interrupting anything? If I am, please let me know."

"No. Not at all. I'm grateful to have someone to talk to, so you're not interrupting anything except maybe a small-but-intense pity party I had after Eileen, that's my daughter's name, left."

"May I ask where she's working?"

"Yes. Definitely. I'm so proud of her. She found a civil service job at Mountain Home Air Force Base."

"Mountain Home. I know that place well," Lake said, his tone of voice changing yet again.

"Oh. May I ask how?"

"I was in the Air Force for a little over ten years," Lake told her.

"Really? That is so wonderful, and I'd like to thank you for our service," Paula told him sincerely.

"It was my pleasure."

"So...are you from Boise?" Paula asked.

"I am. I enlisted right out of high school then came back here when I uh, got released from active duty."

"So how long have you been with the radio station?"

"Almost three years now. I've been going to college on the GI Bill, and I work there part-time, five days a week," he told her.

She was getting a very strong impression confirming her suspicions he was a lot younger than her, and just as she was about to ask if he'd mind telling her his age, Lake asked her a question.

"I know just calling you was a little...unusual...but I was actually hoping I might be able to talk you into having lunch...or dinner...or maybe just a cup of coffee with me."

Idaho had a very high percentage of Mormons, second only to Utah, and Lake wondered if coffee might be a 'no-no' for her.

"If you drink coffee, that is."

"I do," she told him, dispelling his concerns.

She was about to find a tactful way to turn him down when she remembered Eileen's admonition to spread her wings. If he was willing to risk asking out a total stranger having no idea what she looked like, the least she could do was sit down and talk with him. After all, he was a veteran, and she couldn't see how having a cup of coffee could do any harm. So even if he turned out to be someone who wasn't the least bit attractive to her (physically or otherwise), regardless of age, this would be a new experience she could chalk to a first attempt at following her daughter's advice.

"Then I was wondering if you might like to maybe get together this afternoon or evening or...whenever. Have you had lunch yet?"

"You know, I was just getting ready to make a sandwich when you called."

"Would you possibly like to have one...with me?" he asked, the tentativeness back.

She'd already showered so all she needed to do was change clothes, and she was she now very hungry so....

"Um, okay. That...that sounds nice. Where did you want to meet?"

"I'm kind of partial to Cobby's, but I also like Even Stevens. Do you have a preference?"

"Cobby's. That's on Overland Road, right?" Paula asked.

"Yes it is. Is that okay?"

"Sure. That's not too far away, and honestly? I'm starving!"

"Okay. Great. I'll head over there right now and meet you. Oh. I'll be wearing a KNOT ball cap and hang out by the door. That way, if my looks scare you off, you can turn around and head over to Even Stevens or Deli George or...."

Paula laughed then assured him he wouldn't scare her off.

"But when you see me, you might want to run," she warned him, only half teasing.

"Not gonna happen," Lake told her. "I'll see you soon then?"

"Yes. Okay. See you soon, Lake. Bye."

When she hung up, Paula felt several things all at once. The first was a slight amount of apprehension about doing this, even though she'd be meeting this total stranger in a public place. Beyond the mild concerns for her safety, she couldn't help but also feel proud of herself, and she also knew Eileen would be, too.

It didn't matter that this wasn't an actual date. In fact, if he'd used that word she'd have almost certainly said 'no'. Most of all, she was happy she'd finally stepped outside of her comfort zone—way outside, for that matter—and she had to admit it felt pretty good.

Paula quickly changed out of her sweats and into a decent pair of jeans and a casual, light-gray sweater that was perfect for the cooler weather and pretty much any informal occasion.

As she took a quick look at herself in the mirror, she was incredibly thankful her daughter had come home and read her the riot act. She'd never been a large woman, but she'd put on nearly ten pounds in the short amount of time she was drinking herself to death and eating any and everything she could find. All of that was gone, and now, at 122 pounds, her five-foot, eight-inch body looked very good for a woman just seven months away turning fifty.

As she got close to the restaurant, Paula felt the unmistakable feeling of butterflies. It was understandable, of course, as she was meeting a single man for the first time in what? Twenty-five years, give or take? So unless it was strictly business, and there was no business involved, she gave herself permission to feel a little nervous.

She'd been growing her nearly-black hair back out since her husband left, and she almost laughed when she thought about many times she'd heard both men and women talking about how women nearly always cut their hair at some point after 'landing a man'. It might be sexist, but Paula knew it was often true. She, along with virtually every woman her age she knew, had done it. And now that she was single again, she was letting it grow out again.

It was finally long enough to pull into a ponytail, and although it wasn't as pleasing to her eye as the rest of herself, it was the best she could do on short notice. She looked away then decided to put on some lip gloss. The reason was obvious, too, but she justified it by telling herself it was getting colder and she didn't want her lips to chap.

She also knew, but wouldn't admit, the reason she'd chosen what she was wearing. Paula wasn't all that big 'upstairs', her full-B breasts looked very nice as the soft material showed them off quite clearly while also showing her waist to still be much smaller than her hips.

With that, she took a deep breath then told herself, "You're just having lunch with someone who seems very nice—over the phone. If he's not all that nice in person, no big deal. If he's...unkempt (her word for 'a slob')...so be it. Try and enjoy yourself and remember, it's just two people eating and talking."

One more deep breath, and Paula opened the car door and got out after finding a spot at Cobby's.

Once she was sure she wasn't going to get hit by a car as she crossed the parking lot, she began scanning the area near the front door. She saw a fairly attractive guy in a ball cap and smiled to herself until she saw him reach into his back pocket and pull out a can of snuff and jam a huge pinch into his mouth. She stopped long enough to look and see what kind of hat he was wearing, and when she the 'John Deere' logo, she breathed a sigh of relief and kept walking.