No Fool Like an Old Fool

"Stupid old bitch, get a license," said one guy.

"Old fool," yelled another. Many of them just held up a finger or made other rude gestures.

Helen sat in her car crying again. Her nerves were jangled and something just wasn't right with her body. She was on the verge of losing her husband because her non- affair with Ted had come to light. She was afraid now that her inter generational gang-bangs would someday come to light. She felt remorse and guilt, and sorrow, and anger at Kelly, all at the same time. Couple that with the fact that the thing that started all of this, her vanity, was still there.

That was what all of this boiled down to. Helen had always been beautiful, in fact she thought of herself as a modern day version of Helen of troy. There had always been men around to tell her how beautiful she was. She was successful in real estate, largely because of her beauty. Men always wanted to buy houses and buildings from her because they were hoping to get to fuck her.

When Hiram came along, this serious young doctor, in his twenties, Helen had already started to see some lines in her face. She knew she had peaked and it scared her.

That was the main reason she'd discarded her friends advice about Hiram being beneath her. He was studious, and caring, and he really wanted to help people. When he looked at a building with her, he was actually trying to catch a glimpse of what the property might turn into. He wasn't trying to imagine what she'd look like naked. But in the end he got to find out, and he had worked his ass off since then trying to make her happy.

Hiram always talked about their future together. He'd say, "When we retire, we'll do this, or we'll live here. I think we should travel for a while, before we settle down." He'd say, "Helen get some paper out let's make a list of places we want to go to."

She had been his life all along, and she'd just fucked it up because she couldn't keep her legs closed. Hiram never bragged about things, because he didn't want his patients or people in general, to think that he thought that he was above them. The two things he loved the most he never talked about at all. He simply smiled when he saw them. It had always been her, and that damned car. Why hadn't she thought about this before?

Hiram had his two obsessions, and Helen had hers. While Hiram's were his wife and his car; Helen's were her vanity and her fear of being alone. While Hiram's led him to work very hard so he could provide for her, and afford the things he wanted for his car.

Helen's led her to seek praise, company, and comfort from other men. She just needed to know that men still found her attractive and desirable; was that wrong?

Another thing that bothered her were her old friends. All of the women who had advised her against Hiram, had disappeared when she became a wife and then a mother. They had nothing in common since she was no longer tearing up the clubs and lounges. She'd gone from being the life of the party for many, to being the center of the universe for one, and she knew that she'd made the right choice.

In recent years when they'd had a reunion of sorts, at a funeral for one of her old coworkers, it had been Helen's turn to laugh.

There they stood in all of their former glory, a bunch of nearly toothless old crones. Some of them were positively staggering, they looked so bad. It let Helen know that retiring from the party lifestyle had been a very good choice. The saddest thing of course was when a couple of them had come over and started talking about Hiram.

"Wow, Helen you always could pick 'em," said Marge Blair who was obviously drunk at the funeral.

"Yes but what about that nerdy little doctor she was so taken with," added Jessica Stephens, "He was so scrawny and geekish. Not like this guy, va va va voom!"

"Whatever did happen to Herschel, or Henry, whatever his name was?" continued Marge, "Did you break his heart badly Helen?"

"Nope," said Helen matter of factly. " His name was Hiram and I married him. That's him, the one you biddies are gushing over. Amazing how some people change and others stay the same."

"Way back then, you were wrong about him, you were just a bunch of drunk degenerate sluts, with opinions on everyone else, who didn't see their own faults," said Helen, her voice as cold and brittle as ice.

"And now he's had a few years of seasoning and more confidence, but he's still the same kind, and considerate man I married, he's changed in your eyes, but he's still the same person," she said, "On the other hand you ladies are a whole lot older, and more experienced. You'd think you'd have matured with age, but you're still a bunch of drunk degenerate sluts." "I guess it's true what they say. There's no fool like an old fool."

Helen had walked away smiling, but now as she remembered the words they had come back to haunt her as well.

Helen decided to sit in her car for a few more moments and calm her nerves before heading back into traffic. That way the people she had nearly caused to wreck their cars would be long gone.

She tried calling her daughter but the call went to voice mail. She tried Megan's home phone line and after a few rings, her son in law answered.

"Mom, maybe you shouldn't call us for a while," he said before she could even say hello.

"Where's Megan," snapped Helen. "Let me speak to my daughter."

"She's right here, Helen. I was trying to be nice, but since you won't let me... She doesn't want to talk to you." Then he hung up. Helen was crushed. Her own daughter was cutting her off. Megan wasn't even particularly close to her father, but she was cutting Helen off.

Her sister was angry at Helen, her mother was a non-factor, and now her daughter was abandoning her. All at a time when Helen was on the verge of losing Hiram. All of her fears of being alone were being realized. Helen's heartbeat rose another notch. This couldn't be happening to her, it was all like a bad dream.

Helen started her car and moved into traffic, she did so without checking her rear view mirror, and neatly clipped a car that was passing her. There was the sound of cracking plastic and bending metal, but Helen just kept driving. The sound of the other driver cursing and screaming registered but she chose to ignore it. She had to get home.

Hiram had just seen his last scheduled patient for the day. He was sitting at his desk writing out bonus checks for his nurse, his office manager, and his medical assistant. He typically gave the bonuses out for Thanksgiving as well as for Christmas. The phone on his desk rang, Hiram looked at the screen and saw that it was one of the hospital's extensions.

He didn't worry about it because he had a number of patients there, and there were also doctors he conferred with at the hospital, so getting calls from there was a normal occurrence.

He keep writing out the checks and cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder and spoke into the phone.

Hiram suddenly turned nearly as white as sheet, and dropped the phone and ran out the door. Helen had been taken to the hospital's emergency room by ambulance.

All of the problems they were having fell away as he started his car. Using his Mustang's sync system, which synchronized with his cell phone Hiram called Tammy.

"Hiram, I don't want to talk about this for a while," said Tammy, "I know that none of this is your fault. You're a victim in this just like I was but right now, despite what I said yesterday, I'm not sure that Ted and I will make it through this."

"Tammy, Helen is in the hospital," said Hiram, "I'm on my way there now. I don't know any of the details, but she is your sister. No matter what is going on with us or them, she's still your sister."

Hiram repeated the call and nearly the same conversation with his daughter. The only difference was that his daughter asked him why he even cared after what Helen had done to him. He finally asked Megan to come to the hospital as a favor for him. He hated putting it into those terms because it seemed like he was asking her to come to the hospital so he would continue to help her out with her bills, but whatever it took to get her to the hospital. He was sure that if it was anything serious Helen would want their daughter there.

Hiram checked at the front desk and found out that Helen had already left the emergency room and was in critical care on the fourth floor. He took the elevator to the fourth floor and ran into Dr. Dave Elliot as he got out of the elevator.

"I am so sorry, Hiram," said Dr. Elliot squeezing Hiram's arm. Hiram was suddenly short of breath and it felt like the walls were closing in on him. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't believe that Helen had died before they could patch up thier marriage.

Dr. Elliot led his friend over to a bench near the wall, where Hiram collapsed.

"Come on Hiram," said Elliot, "I know that this is tough, but you really should have seen this coming. It's bad but not unexpected under the circumstances. Maybe you should think about adoption. But that's a matter for later, right now you need to be strong for Helen. She's going to need you right now."

Hiram looked up at Elliot with a puzzled look on his face.

"Dave slow down," said Hiram, "From what you just said I thought that you were telling me that Helen had passed away."

"No Hiram, Helen will be fine physically," began Elliot," But this is going to take a severe emotional toll on her. Right now she's confused and out of her mind."

Megan and Tammy ran up to Hiram and Dr. Elliot at that point.

"Dad how's mom?" asked Megan.

"She's going to be OK at least physically," said Hiram, "Dave was just telling me the rest."

"Well the worst thing of course, is that we tried everything we could, but we weren't able to save the baby," began Elliot, "It was just far too premature to survive. Hiram I kind of expected you to know that at Helen's age a pregnancy alone is a near miracle, but for you two to be engaging in sex that vigorously during the pregnancy was ill-advised."

"Dave, what the hell are you talking about?" asked Hiram tersely.

"Hiram, the vaginal bruising from whatever you guys did this morning alone will probably take a few days to heal. Her uhm, other orifice will be sore for a while also. But our biggest worry is she seems to have checked out mentally. She thinks you're going to blame her for the baby's not surviving. She keeps telling us not to tell you," said Dave.

"As you know patients who've gone through a traumatic experience sometimes lose touch with reality. She's going to need you to be very caring and supportive," he continued.

"Dave, I need a big favor," said Hiram.

"Anything Hiram," answered Elliot. He could see that Hiram was very upset but not in the way that he had expected. Hiram seemed to be on the verge of anger rather than sadness as would be the norm.

"I need you to do a DNA test on the Fetus, and test that guy over there trying to be unseen in the lounge," said Hiram pointing at Ted.

Both Megan and Tammy stood next to Hiram, no one said a word. Tammy turned to look at Ted with disgust written all over her face. Megan simply hugged her father and looked at him.

"How long will it take to get the results from the first testing done?" Hiram asked Dave.

"Well Hiram, as you know we'll have to do the test multiple times to confirm the results, but I have a feeling you're going to want to know the immediate results from the first run. Why don't you at least go and see her, give me about an hour and I'll have something for you," said Elliot walking towards the lounge and Ted.

"Hiram, I don't ever want to see that bitch again," snapped Tammy, "Sister or not. If you and she haven't been...you know. And I'm sure that she wasn't fucking Ted this morning, so how many guys is she fucking? And just who's baby was she carrying. My sister is a fool, and an old fool at that."

Tammy started to walk away and then she turned back towards Hiram. "Hiram, I told you already, that I was giving serious consideration to divorcing Ted. Both he and your slut of a wife, swore to us that they never had sex. If this baby turns out to be his, it will mean that they lied to us, on top of everything else. So if he's the father, tell him not to bother coming home...ever."

Megan looked at her father as well, "Dad what is wrong with mom? Why is she doing this? I'm sorry but I just don't want to see her right now. Maybe never again," said Megan. "Dad, do you think that mom tried to sleep with my husband too?"

Hiram went to the nurse's station to find out which room Helen was in. He walked to the room and then composed his face before entering. He walked over to the bed and looked at the woman he had lived with and loved for the past twenty years plus.

He didn't see much of her left in the body on the bed. He reached out and wiped her brow as he would any other patient in his care. She jumped at his touch and turned to see him. A fresh round of tears started as she recognized him. She looked for signs of anger, or hurt, or condemnation, and didn't find any.

"Don't worry Helen, we have a lot to talk about, but the first thing we have to do is get you well," said Hiram.

"Did they tell...?" croaked Helen.

"We'll work all of this out after you're better," said Hiram, "For right now let's not worry about what happened, or where we went wrong, or who did what, or why. We need to get you back on your feet, first."

"Don't leave me, Hiram," croaked Helen. "You're the best thing that ever came into my life, please don't leave me." She yawned as she said it and Hiram sat down in a chair next to her bed and held her hand until she fell asleep.

As he left the room, Kelly who had heard that Hiram was in the hospital came around the corner and ran to him. She wrapped him up in the tightest hug she could muster and told him that no matter what, she'd be there for him.

Hiram and Kelly, went down to the lab to get the results. Hiram had been at Helen's bedside for more than the hour the lab needed, so the tests had been run more than once already. The good news was that Ted was not the father; the bad news was that Hiram wasn't either.

When he'd found out that Ted wasn't the father Hiram had told Ted to take a cab home to his wife, and never do this to her again. Then he and Kelly had left the hospital to drive home.

When Hiram got to the apartment, he opened the door and went straight for the computer in his study. He skirted the blood stains on the white carpeting in the living room almost without noticing them. He booted up the machine and opened up the drive where the video camera feeds were saved. He checked the cameras in the apartment, and then her car and found nothing. He did notice that Helen had problems driving but that wasn't what he was looking for. There were several new camera feeds besides the living room and he started checking them all. He found nothing again and again until he got to a feed labeled BS3. BS3 meant Back stairs third floor.

Luckily the cameras sensed motion so there was no empty video to look at. It started out with some of those young punks who always hung out on the stairs, pushing each other around and smoking marijuana. Then Helen came into view. Hiram was shocked. She walked right through the crowd of them and past them and then just laid down on a dirty mat on the floor and called them over. He watched as his 60 year old wife, sucked and fucked 3 young hoodlums doing things with them that he had never even thought of. Tears rolled down Hiram's face as he stopped the playback.

Hiram didn't know what to think or what to do, he sat there in his office chair for a long time, not moving, not thinking, not seeing. Only the sound of someone opening his front door jarred him from his trance.

"Hiram, what's wrong?" asked Kelly. She was really worried because she cared about him so much and she had never seen him like this before.

Over the past day and a half Hiram had endured blow after blow. His marriage, once the center of his life had just suffered its final attack. A bond of love and trust that had taken many years of good times and bad, of happy moments, and heartbreaks that he and Helen had built together over twenty-five years, had fallen in less than twenty-five hours.

A plan had started to form in Hiram's mind, he turned to Kelly and said, "I might need a little help."

"Whatever you need, I'll do," said Kelly.

"I'll call you when I get back from the hospital," said Hiram.

Hiram made a few phone calls from his Mustang as he drove back to the hospital. He had transferred nearly all of his regular patients to other doctors who could give them the care they needed because Hiram was taking some time off. He had one patient now who out weighed all of the others.

Hiram was sitting in the chair beside Helen when she woke up. She smiled as she noticed that he was still there. Hiram stayed with her the rest of the night until visiting hours were over and they told him he had to leave.

Over the next few days, he was her constant companion. Even she was surprised to find out that he wasn't going o the office or seeing his patients.

"Hiram, your practice is your life," said Helen, "I'm not expecting you to put it on hold for me."

"Helen, my practice is my job, you were my life," replied Hiram. Helen failed to notice that he said "were."

"Hiram, there are some really bad things that we need to talk about," said Helen quietly. She felt even worse now after having hear him say that she was his life. The regret and remorse she'd been feeling since Thanksgiving had magnified and she realized that all of this time, he'd always felt the way she wanted him to. It had always been there, she had just failed to see it.

On TV and in the movies, men made grand romantic gestures, and bought thousands of dollars worth of flowers and took trips around the world with their lovers. In the real world, staying with someone and being faithful to them, while maybe forgetting the occasional anniversary, or missing a dinner or two, was simply the way it worked. Staying with someone for over twenty years said I love you, far more realistically than any fairy tale romance ever could. Why hadn't she seen that. In more than twenty years while she'd gotten fatter and older, her Hiram had never even looked at another woman, though she was sure that some had tried to catch his eye. Including that fucking Kelly Cullum that was still lurking outside her door, waiting for Hiram every God damned day.

Helen's biggest mistake was taking Hiram and his love for her, for granted. She would never make that mistake again. Hiram had a way of just putting the past behind them and moving on. Every time Helen tried to think up a way to bring up what had happened to her, he had just told her not to worry about it because they needed to get her better first. She had thought up a few plausible lies, like the boys had blackmailed her into having sex with them. She thought that she might be able to get away with it if need be, but Hiram didn't seem to know about any of that. She hadn't heard from her sister or her daughter, though she'd been told the first day that they'd been there.

Hiram also hadn't brought up the reason why she was here, her miscarriage. She honestly hadn't believe at her age that it was possible for her to become pregnant, if she had she probably would have made the boys wear condoms or at least gotten some other form of birth control.

At least her craving for sex had been sated by this experience. She didn't need just sex any more, what she was craving now was for Hiram to make love to her in their bed, to prove to her that this experience was behind them, and they could go forward with their lives.

She tried calling her sister, and got no answer, the phone just rang. When she called back she heard Ted answer and then just slam the phone down when he recognized her voice.