Now or Never: Escape to Freedom Ch. 04

"I can defiantly tell you guys are cut from the same family." Justin smiled.

"And just think, you are now a part of it too." Ryan laughed.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way." Justin smiled at Josh.

"Okay, let me go get Austin so he can get ready. Do you two think you can keep it in your pant until you're done with Austin?" Ryan grinned.

"Yeah yeah." Josh Replied as he waved his hand at Ryan.

Ryan returned shortly with Austin close behind him. Justin got right to work fixing Austin's hair. His was a little more difficult since his hair wasn't as short as Ryan's but he still was able to work his magic. Once he finished, Ryan took Austin in the bathroom and helped him get changed into his dress clothes.

"You look amazing." Austin said as he got a good look at Ryan.

"Thank you. You look amazing yourself."

"Your ass looks so good in those pants." Austin smiled.

"Oh yeah? You like it?" Ryan grinned.

"Yeah I do. I have to stop or I'm going to have a big problem." Austin whispered.

"Well, I'll have to make sure I take care of that for you later." Ryan smiled as he finished tying Austin's tie.

When they emerged from the bathroom Justin and Josh both commented on how good the two of them looked. Ryan got a look at the clock and noticed that it was already past eight thirty and knew that they had to leave soon. They made their way downstairs and into the kitchen were Cindy was making some breakfast.

"Do you boys want anything to eat before you leave?" She asked as she turned towards them. "Wow, you boys look absolutely wonderful."

"Thank you." They both answered.

"So some breakfast?" She questioned.

"I'm not really hungry. Maybe just some coffee." Austin offered.

"Maybe some coffee and oatmeal." Cindy replied. "It's cold outside and you need to eat."

"Austin, don't argue with her, you will not win. You think my mom is bad Austin, Cindy is just as bad." Ryan suggested. "Besides you know you have to eat when you take your pain meds."

"He's a smart boy." Cindy laughed.

"Okay, but just a little." Cindy's definition of little was more than Austin's but he still ate everything in his bowl.

After they finished up their breakfast they got ready and headed out the door. As they got closer to the funeral home Ryan could feel Austin's entire mood was changing and it caused butterflies in his stomach. When they pulled into the driveway of the funeral home Austin's eyes immediately filled with tears. They sat in silence. Ryan didn't know what to do. He wanted to say something but he didn't know what to say. Finally Austin broke the silence.

"This is really it. This is the real thing. Ever since Beth called and told me that Eric had committed suicide I felt like it was a dream or a hoax to get me back. But now that we are sitting here and I see the hearse I know that this is real." Austin said as he choked back his tears.

Ryan reached over and put his arm around Austin. "You want to have a smoke before we go in?"

"Yes."

"Light one for me as well."

Austin lit two cigarette and passed one to Ryan. They both sat in silence as they smoked. Austin wished that the cigarette would last forever knowing that once it was gone they had to go inside. They finally finished smoking and started to walk up to the door of the Victorian style funeral home. Austin's heart quickened with every step they took towards the doors. Ryan must have sensed it because the next thing Austin felt was Ryan's hand wrap around his and his heart slowed down a little. As they entered the doors they were met by Beth.

"Thank you guys so much for coming. You don't know how much this means to me." Beth said as she hugged the both of them. "And you must be Ryan. I'm so glad to meet you sorry it had to be under these circumstances. Thank you so much for bring Austin here. I know this has to be difficult bringing your boyfriend to his abusive ex's funeral."

"I love Austin and would do anything for him." Austin replied trying not to sound stand offish.

A smile came across her face. "You don't know how happy that makes me. I'm glad that Austin found someone who loves him and will take care of him the way that he deserves."

"I will do my best." Ryan smiled at him.

Austin took a deep breath. "Can I see him?"

"Of course. He's in here." Beth pointed to the grand room.

As Austin made his way towards the casket he looked at all the pictures of Eric. There were even some of the two of them. The one that made him stop in his tracks was one of them on their graduation day. They both were wearing their graduation gowns and had the biggest smiles on their faces.

"I remember that day like it was yesterday. You two were so happy." Beth smiled.

A single tear escaped his eye as he thought back to that day. He remembered thinking that the two of them would spend the rest of their lives together.

When Austin made his way up to the coffin and he saw Eric laying there his heart broke and the tears fell from his eyes. Eric didn't look like the monster that Austin had come to know but of the guy that he once was. The once caring and loving Eric is what Austin saw lying there. His heart ached for Eric, that he wasn't strong enough to get help with his anger, with the possible guilt that he might have felt for the way that he had treated Austin. Austin always loved Eric and only wanted him to be happy. This is not the outcome that he had ever wished for. If he knew that the last time he saw him it would have been the last time maybe he would have tried to suggest that Eric get help. As these thoughts progressed the tears flowed steadier. Ryan came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Austin. When Austin turned around he saw the tears were flowing from Ryan's eyes as well. He grabbed Ryan and pulled him into a tight hug and started to sob.

"I didn't want this. I never wish for things to end like this." Austin sobbed.

"I know you didn't love, I know." Ryan said trying to comfort Austin.

"I wish that I could have told him that he should get help, that he wasn't a horrible person that he just needed help." Austin sobbed harder.

Beth walked over and put her arms around the both of them. "Austin, I don't think there was anything any of us could have done. Sadly Eric was more disturbed than anyone could have guessed. I guess the realization of what he put you through was more than he could handle." Beth cried. "Do not blame yourself for this. You had nothing to do with what Eric did. His actions are his own and his own only. So please don't blame yourself."

"I'm trying not to but it's just so hard not to feel some type of guilt about it." Austin said as he tried to calm down.

"We all are feeling a little bit of guilt, but we can't blame ourselves."

"What is he doing here." A woman's voice came from across the room.

"Mom, don't start. Austin has every right to be here." Beth replied.

Ryan shot Austin a knowing look of who the woman was.

"Hello Mrs. Mason." Austin offered as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Do not hello me. You have no business being here. Haven't you caused this family enough upset." She demanded. "If Eric had only dumped you years ago he wouldn't be lying in that casket right now!"

"I didn't have anything to do with this." Austin tried to squeak out.

"Horse shit! You are the very reason that he is in there. You became a needy little bitch and had him waiting on you hand and foot. You don't think I saw right through that little charade you had been playing. You came from a trashy family and saw that Eric came from a wealthy family and you wanted that for yourself!"

"My family wasn't trash!" Austin cried.

By this time Ryan's mood had changed from being sad to piss off. He could clearly see where Eric had gotten his nasty attitude from. He was trying to keep his cool only for the fact that they were at a funeral but he wasn't going to take much more of Mrs. Mason talking to Austin like that.

"Oh yes they where! Your dad was a worthless man and a horrible father. Your mother was nothing but a lowlife slut!" She spat at him.

Finally Ryan had enough and snapped. "That is enough! I've kept my cool for the simple fact that we are at your son's funeral and I'm tryin' to be respectful but I can clearly see that is something you do not know how to do!"

"Do not talk to me! You are trash just like him!" She yelled at Ryan.

"Let me tell you somethin'. I understand that losin' your son is very hard on you. I can't even begin to imagine the feelings you are going through, but you have to understand the feelings that Austin is going through as well."

"I do not care about what feelings that freeloader has!" Mrs. Mason spat.

"Enough! Shut up Sarah! Your evil disposition has worn everyone thin! Austin has every right to be here and mourn. You damn well know that Eric treated him like shit and for him to even think about coming here says a lot about him. Let everyone mourn in peace and keep your mouth shut." Mr. Mason spoke up.

Mr. Mason turned to Austin. "Austin, I am truly sorry for the way that my son treated you over the years. You did nothing to deserve that. Please accept my deepest apology and I want to thank you for coming here to pay your respects." Then he turned to Ryan, "And I want to thank you as well for being strong enough to bring Austin."

As the Mason's walked out of the room everyone else just stood in silence.

"This is why I wanted you guys to come early. I had a feeling my mother was going to have a fit." Beth said as she shook her head.

"It's okay. I was expecting it to happen." Austin replied.

"Austin, this might be out of place but I didn't know if you wanted to do me a favor. If you say no I completely understand." Beth asked as she looked at Eric.

"What is it?"

"You remember that song you used to sing that Eric loved?"

"The Rose."

"Yes, would you mind singing today?" Beth asked nervously.

"I didn't know you sing." Ryan said as he looked at Austin.

"You should hear him. He won the talent show at the school for singing that song." Beth said with a smile.

"I haven't sung in a long time but I will sing it today." Austin offered.

"Thank you so much. This means the world to me." Beth said as she gave him a hug. "People will be starting to arrive soon. Did you want to stand up here with us?"

"Oh no. This is about your family. I'll just sit in the back unnoticed."

"You'll sit in the family row at least. Just in case I need to look to you for support. As long as Ryan says it's okay. I don't want to over step any boundaries."

"I think it would be nice." Ryan smiled.

Austin and Ryan took their seats in the family row and soon the pianist started to play and people started filling in to pay their respects to the family. Some people who recognized Austin even came over and gave him a hug and a few kind words. Then there were some people who looked at Austin with a puzzled look on their faces and he just knew that they were questioning why he was there. Those people made Austin start to feel nervous. Ryan could see Austin was fidgeting and he had a feeling that Austin might need a break. Ryan signaled to Beth that they were going to step outside and she nodded.

"I had a feeling that you needed a smoke break." Ryan said as they walked out of the doors.

"I needed a smoke after Eric's mom snapped at me." Austin said as he reached in the car and grabbed the pack of smokes. "Do you think I should have told Beth no to me singing that song?"

"Not at all. I think it is a wonderful tribute to how things used to be with you and Eric." Ryan said as he kissed Austin's forehead.

"You really are a wonderful guy and I don't deserve everything that you do for me." Austin said as he took a drag.

"I love you and would do anything for you." Ryan smiled.

"I love you too."

After Austin finished his smoke they made their way back inside and took their seats. It seemed like hours as the people just kept filing in. Slowly but surely the line got shorter and shorter and Austin knew it was getting close to the time for the funeral to begin.

Once the last person gave their respects to the family the pastor got up and started the services. Austin was a little off put by the pastor. He obviously didn't know much about Eric due to his generic speech. After the pastor had finished saying what he had to say he opened it up for anyone to come up and share memories that they had of Eric. A few people got up and spoke about how they knew Eric growing up and how much of a sweet boy he was. After the last person sat back down the pastor asked if anyone else had anything else they'd like to share. To everyone's surprise Austin stood up and made his way to the podium. There were a few gasped from the crowd.

Austin took a deep calming breath. "I know that some of you are surprised to see me here today but I wanted to pay my respects to Eric. Our relationship wasn't perfect and towards the end it was quite bad, but at one time it was good and those are the reason as to why I'm here. Eric was there for me after I lost my parents to a fatal car crash that left me with a lot of issues, both physical and mental. He always made sure that he took me to my physical therapy even if that meant that he had to miss out on important events. Events that only come around once in a life time. Eric had given up so much to make sure that I recovered and dealt with the passing of my parents. He would stay up late at night with me when I would wake up from one of my many nightmares. He stayed patient as my memory started to get stronger and I wouldn't forget thing as easily. He took a job that he didn't want but he knew that the benefits would help with the medical expenses. It really took a toll on him and for everything that he did I am eternally grateful." Austin then turned and faced the casket. "Eric, I will always love and care about you. It breaks my heart to know that you thought that this was the only way out. I wish that you had been able to talk to someone about what you were feeling. All I wanted for you was to have a happy life. I hope and pray that you have been able to finally find peace. I will always love and care about you. I will never forget all of the good things that you had done for me." Austin wiped the tears from his eyes and turned back to the crowd, there wasn't a dry eye there. Even Mrs. Mason had tears in her eyes.

"I was asked to sing a song that Eric had always loved to hear me sing. It's been a very long time since I've song this so please excuse any mistakes." Austin said as he walked over to the pianist.

After he told the pianist what song he was going to sing the pianist started to play the opening cords to The Rose. Austin took a deep breath and started to sing the song that had been their song. It had been years since Austin had sung the song but he remembered every single word and never missed a beat. The words flowed with such power and passion that everyone there had tears flowing from their eyes. When Austin got to the final verse he let it all out.

"When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long. And you think that love is only, for the lucky and the strong. Just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows. Lies the seed, that with the suns love, in the spring becomes the rose..."

Austin never understood how much meaning that song really had until he just sung it. With tears in his eyes, he turned once more to Eric and mouthed, "I love you and thank you."

As Austin made his way back to his seat, Mrs. Mason stood up and for the first time she gave Austin a big hug.

"Thank you for that. Please forgive me." She said with a tear stained face.

"Of course." Austin said as he hugged her back.

When Austin returned to his seat Ryan leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You truly are an amazing person Austin."

The funeral services came to an end with the pastor inviting those who wanted to join the family for interment at the gravesite. As everyone exited the funeral Austin and Ryan made their way to the car. Austin lit up smoke and let out a deep sigh. A knock on the window both startled them. It was the funeral director.

"The family has requested that you gentlemen follow behind the limo on the way to the gravesite." The Funeral Director said.

The ride to the gravesite was a quiet one. Neither Ryan nor Austin spoke. Ryan figure Austin needed time to himself and he gave it to him.

When they arrived people started to fill in around the casket. Beth walked over and pulled Ryan and Austin over and had them stand right behind the families seats. The funeral staff each handed everyone a single red rose. Austin thought that it was quite fitting of a flower. It depicted their relationship perfectly. This time the pastor's speech was more touching and personal. After he finished everyone lined up and placed their rose on the lid of the casket.

"Do you mind if I keep mine?" Austin said as he turned to Ryan.

Ryan smiled that big smile he was known for. "I think that would be nice."

After everyone had placed their rose on the casket the funeral director invited everyone back to the Mason's house. As Austin and Ryan walked back towards the car, Austin turned around and saw Mrs. Mason standing by the casket. He told Ryan that he would be right back and walked over to her. He stood beside her as she looked upon the closed casket.

"This is it. This is the final good bye. Once I walk away he really will be gone. I feel like this is a nightmare that I am going to wake up from, but I know deep down that this is reality."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Mason. I really am." Austin offered trying to console her.

"Oh no Austin, I am the one who is sorry. I knew Eric had issues but I decided to ignore them and by me ignoring them I caused you pain and suffering. I know Eric hurt you and I know he hurt you in ways that are too horrible for me to say. I hope that someday you can forgive me." She said as she turned to him.

"Mrs. Mason, I already have." Austin said as he broke down and cried.

The two of them held onto each other and cried. Ryan and Beth both watched from a distance.

"That is something I never thought I'd see my mother do." Beth said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"What's that?" Ryan asked.

"Turn into a human being."

When the family arrived back at the house there was a buzz of people moving round. There was tons of homemade food that the guest had brought. The graduation picture had been brought over from the funeral home and had been displayed for everyone to see. Ryan asked Austin if he wanted anything to eat but he politely declined. Ryan knew that Austin had to take his meds soon and that he needed to eat but he understood that Austin stomach was probably upset.

"How are you holding up?" Ryan asked as he sat down next to Austin.

"It feels weird to be back in his parent's house. I haven't been in this living room since I was a teenager."

"Do you want to leave?"

"Soon. I'm getting tired. It has been a very emotional day."

"That it has." Ryan said as he put an arm around Austin.

"Hey Austin." A familiar voice came from behind him.

When he saw who it was I little smile came across his face. "Hi Dominic."

"Ryan this is Dominic. He was the one who came over the night when Eric had to work a double and took care of me." Austin smiled. "I never did thank you for that."

"No need Austin. Ryan, it's nice to meet you." Dominic said as he held out his hand.

Ryan stood up and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too. Thank you for taking care of Austin like you did."

"I honestly didn't know how bad it really was until I went over that night. Once I saw what was going on I called his sister Beth and informed her of what was going on." Dominic said as he took a seat.