All Comments on 'Nursing The Enemy Ch. 01'

i was lost, characters changed so often, i didnt even finish 1st chapter, hope someone else has better luck reading than i did.

I am not going to bother reading subsequent chapters. From the tags the woman cheats and completely disrespects her husband. I have a feeling you are british.

Could the author please explain just who is who in this confusing story.I got lost in it several times.

Needs more proofreading. Jumping too much around between scenes I don't understand what the hell is happening.

I guess Dave wants Karen to cuckold him with Paul, but got in an accident. Mille was Paul's fiance and was dumped on her wedding day. ... ARGHHH confusing.

This was poorly written and developed. Even if it was a video, it wouldn't make sense

I get the general idea but that is it. No structure to this story at all. So if the writer wants us to read the next chapter then please explain.

her motivations, she isnt being a nurse, she is being a teenage girl in fantasy land. She wrongs everyone but most of all she humiliates and disrespects herself. The husband should go on and serve divorce papers on her, she doesnt love him or lust for him. She serves him sex as if it is something she doesnt want to do and shows no respect or love for him. The writer has used a very mishmash style of throwing things together to try and let the reader figure it out. The flow would have been much better had she written either an introduction or has a dialogue between the husband and wife stating why she should not be on the case and her reasons for so doing. Personally I consider her just an immature stupid little girl playing grown up games.

What in gods name was that? Was there a story in the middle of all those nonsensical words?

I agree with GW66. An explanation is needed. As to your previous writing this has the potential to be another "garbage story". You changed your "genre", did you change your mindset? For my further reading of your story depends on you. Your constant bouncing between situations and spouse and foe, detracted from your smooth flow of your story. I will state that I do not choose, as is my right as a reader to make my comment as anon. Don McLellan

Very well done! Feeling confusion, frustration and even a bit of anger sets the correct mood for this pot-boiler! Explanations will come when they come. Who is right, who is wrong, and who the hell is Paul?

I had a problem with my first story in that the divisions to sections were not carried through the formatting. A number of people complained that it made the story difficult to follow. I eventually worked out a way to delineate the scenes. This story is, in my opinion well written, but for most readers, including me, would benefit from clear breaks to indicate the shifts. i think it would then score more highly.

should have never even talked to the asshole

Google or Wiki "Who's on First". (You need to be American or understand American Baseball!) If you haven't heard it, listen to a version on YouTube. If you understand American baseball, you will see why I'm as confused as Abbott was, about this story so far. I won't be reading any more chapters.

I can't figure out who's on first, and I don't give a darn!

Where a nurse can sit quietly by a patients bospital bedside reading a book on hospital time

What a confusing price of dirt.

All I can understand is that Paul is a pussyhound and this stupid married nurse is playing fire with the pussy hound prick. Reading this really gave me a headache and no I aint gonna read the next chqpter as this is going to be a cuck story as the stupid Karen can' contain herself sampking Paul.