All Comments on 'Obtuse'

and then its On the Lam redux, TK U MLJ LV NV

and then its On the Lam redux, TK U MLJ LV NV

... and you got the boxing right.

I'd like to say that it's nice to see the DeVoe family again but , well, it's the devious, ambitious DeVoe family! Another great story of power hungry lawyers, ladder-climbing wives and boxing. This was very good, and helps flesh out bits of your other stories; I appreciated the story and the skill it took. Thank you, and you really need to bundle some of these into a novel or three ...

Thank you for sharing your talents with us!

Making your husband look like even more of a cuckold in a public manner is hardly the way to win him back. You destroyed both of them with in my opinion a very stupid ending.

So excited for one of your stories. I started hating it and then loved it towards the end and I'm not really sure how to feel overall. Enjoyed this one a lot. I did know he was going to lose the fight.

You could write a story on them in California just about regular mundane things and it would still be interesting. The MIL saved them and she about to be the most powerful person.

The ending was stupid. He stay with the whore. He may be a boxer but he has no balls. He has the title of king cuck.

16 years.

She cheated on him for sixteen fucking years, bore another man's child, and he is going back to her. I swear to God if the rest of these stories are as fucked up as this one, this is going to be a horrible event.

Literally one star, because I can't go lower.

Richard Gerald is Matt Moreau; only that the heroes are slightly more macho post-cheating. I love the ending especially; see in relationships the one who cheated is the one who can heal the wounded; another chance, with another woman just won't work. If she is that crazy about him; hey the give the job to the one who wants it badly, not the one who is more qualified but less interested.

Really enjoyed the story. It’s clearly impossible to empathize with the entitlement Mary feels and the selfishness she demonstrates, but Jason is a great character and and the evolution of his perspective is interesting and engaging. Gave it a 5.

This was a great read, one of the bests on Literotica.com

Thank you for sharing the story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

LOL!

This was a well written short story that kept me engaged throughout. I wouldn't give the pugs much concern with their incessant and predictable cuck commentary. They all have the option to write their own stories.

MFH

No matter how harsh. Unlike some authors if you don't worship them, they delete your comments. You're a good man.

I remember an old Saturday Night Live skit where Jane Curtin was enduring another one of "Rosanne Roseannadanna's" rants. This one was about "Ms. #10 Bo Derek" caught in public with "a little ball of sweat right on the end of her nose." Of course, Bo Derek would be hot even in that condition but not a 10. Maybe a 9.9, but not a 10.

This was a great story that could have used a bit more polish from an editor. I wish I could give it more than a 4. It is at least a 4.5. But it is not a 5.

Some seriously crazy, jacked up characters BUT as usual written extremely well. Swirled & twirled around some very interesting subplots without a doubt.

Always great reading provided by this writer/author.

BRAVO!!!

I will draw a similarity to a movie titled Dancing with wolves. In that film I could not find one utterance of profanity to embellish a scene or actor . Similarly I could not find a single scene of pornography to embellish the scene or character of the story. Well Done

"The things I have done are normally unforgivable."

Don't worry, you're in a Richard Gerald story! No matter how much of a vile slut the wife becomes, the cuck husband will take her back.

Mary screwed dozens of men over 16 years, turning the marriage into a farce. She had another man's bastard baby, then even had the balls to make her ex-lover a regular guest at the family home! All the daughters knew she was constantly fucking around and none of them loved their father enough to warn him.

You went overboard in making Mary into a complete cunt. No man could forgive the contempt and disrespect she'd treated him with for nearly two decades. If ever a story needed to end with a burning of the bitch, this was it!

Till page 8. After that, the whole wife flirting with the opponent, Latisha obviously being the college girlfriend, then him taking the wife back. This took the story from a strong 4, to a 2 or 3.

I like happy endings. But this one was force fitted... Lazy plotting. Sorry😁

No one could be happy under these circumstances !! Stupid

The story was well-written and the editing errors were few and far between. As others have commented, the plot is tough to swallow. Not sure RAAC is appropriate based on the facts. The story was difficult to put down; it was that captivating. But I have trouble believing that hubby would just take the slut back — she violated his trust so much and for so long it’s like asking a heroin addict to go straight while in a heroin shop. I don’t see how he can ever trust her again. Also, I’ve had rib fractures resulting from sparring and you can’t take a deep breath, let alone move around and avoid more body blows, so I didn’t find that part of the story realistic. A solid 4 stars but cannot give 5 due to the issues listed above.

Love that name. Marvelously crafted characters. The DeVoe family and the surrounding acquaintances are very interesting and fun to read about. Could anyone eat that shit sandwich the protagonist appears to have eaten and be content? This protagonist appears to have done just that. I couldn't, but so what? I'm not in the story, Jason is. Full marks from me for a well crafted, fun read.

a very generous four...but really it should have been a three with that ending...

But unfortunately this a plot full of the sort of justification and "righteous" collaboration by trusted friends and family, all of whom shared knowledge of the betrayal, that only the female mind might tend to think should be acceptable by the one who was betrayed. Conforming to this "ends justifying means" scenario produced an ending that felt contrived and not what Jason would accede to having now comprehended his wife's manipulative planning.

While he was a wiser man for it, at the end she was the same selfish manipulative slut she was at the start.

Right up to the end.

Why oh why would any man take that conniving cheating lying manipulative bitch back.

Went from a truly well earned 5 to a 2 because of the rush to reconcile (RTR feel free to use that).

Reminds me of Steven King novels. Great plot. Great characters. Great writing.

But a quick forced ending.

I hated the end.

Could you please write a different end?

...it's that he digs the wives FAR too deep of a hole for such an ending to be even slightly believable to a human being. He makes you hate his wife characters because of their terrible actions and attitudes. He makes you feel for the betrayed husbands. Then at the end, he waves a magic wand and puts them back together.

I don't know if he does this with the intention of causing dismay to his audience, or if he is truly so "obtuse" as to not realize what he's doing. Imagine watching a film like "Sleeping with the Enemy" or "Enough." Now, change the ending to the psychotic, abusive husband showing up with a bouquet of roses and the protagonist just takes him back and that's the end. That's how these stories feel. What a waste of great writing talent.

Thanks for the effort.

Cog

Ridiculous ending ruined a great story. I foured it, but the ending was so incongruous from the rest of the story!

Thanks for the entertainment.

she'll just cheat on him again. I thought you said he was smart. Is this what the title, Obtuse, is referring to?

This story is good, as are most of your storied, but with overly complex plots.

An editorial point: I don't think it is possible to have sex discretely. Sex involves the fusion of two discrete entities. It is possible to have sex discreetly.

As usual for you a well written engaging story...........but ruined by the ridiculous ending. Mary was portrayed as such a bad character, there should have been no way back to a reconcilliation.

I didn't see her as a "strong women" as per the brief, more just a bit pathetic.

This story went from a strong 4*s or 5*s to a strong 2*s, because of the ending. Which is really a shame considering the quality of the writing and story up to that point. The fight was stupid, IMO, nearly as stupid as a man who will take his wife back after she's sired one illegitimate daughter and cheated on him regularly for nearly 2 decades.

100%.I really should have knew knew how this would end, cliche and terrible.

As others have said, the ending is stupid. The wife whores around for years and has another guy’s child. And then he takes her back.Potty

Although I can be a dick and mention that I rarely use a petition to divide a room...

I have been a fan of your stuff since perhaps the beginning here... but I have also been a bit at sea about the fundamental motivations of your characters. I put it down to the different world that they live in, which is no doubt part of it... but here, through the Latisha character, I get a new overview which seems to explain a lot of the women and some of the men.

So - why did the protags reconcile? 'cause he finally figured out what her issues were, and how to deal with them... and she finally figured out her issues, and now doesn't have to be blindsided by them.

Kinky, rather frankly.

More difficult, but also interesting is why, since he no doubt knew subconsciously that Tina wasn't like the other girls, Tina was his favorite...

Anyway, thank you for your work, good luck with the novel, (I'm sure it will be... unusual vis a vie contemporary fiction), and I do think that this invitational was certainly up your alley. I hope the rest of the stories are as interesting and good.

Green-something

You spin a great yarn! These characters are not easily or quickly forgotten. Great story!

A google search on "child abuse statute of limitations window" comes up with many references, one with a comparison of 16 states + DCs new "window" laws for this kind of suit. If this is an issue in your life, then soon is a good time to consider remedy.

Green-something

This Invitational was right down your alley. Strong women, weak men. This was yet another incredibly well written story that ended up over the cliff. I would like to suggest an editor. There were at least three places where misplaced or unused punctuation marks completely changed the meaning of a sentence that really impacted the story. Once again your hero Jason followed in the footsteps of Patrick Sullivan, Greg Shelley and James O'Reilly and got run over by his cheating wife. You can write an entertaining story but your predilection towards spineless men is annoying. Other than Lyle Jedermann you seem to enjoy leaving your men up the proverbial creek without the necessary paddle or spine to deal with their slut wives. I would have liked to see the "whore" in this story get the divorce she so richly deserved. Right up to the end of the story she's still manipulating him. What a shrew! How you thought that she deserved to stay married is a mystery. And I would have liked her Mother to get a little comeuppance. Another whore that manipulates everyone to get her way. In the end you left out what happened to his two older daughters and whether or not they were, indeed, his biological children. Like I said - this is a 5 star story but I only gave you 4 stars for, once again, hogtying your leading man. Maybe more Lyle's in the future? Thanks for the effort.

Knew I should have skipped on to the next. One more wife cheating over the course of a marriage, but it's all ok because she says she loves him. Just put your poor cuckolds out of their misery early on.

But loved the story... four only because the ending was a little wonky.

All the wives in your stories seem to be whores or sluts.

By the way, how do you spell Anton's last name: Cheves, Chevas or Chevais?

Boyd Percy

Score=5.

If you know anything about reassurance then you know people who are wizards at math and can do things like statistics data analysis's Regression an actuary tables usually end up running whole insurance companies of various the father should have immediately seeing the you vannage of having a brilliant a math professor working for peanuts for the insurance company.

This point is soooooooo fucking obvious to anybody with a brain who knows anything about the real world that it ruins the entire story after page 2

Harryin VA

What a cuckholded dumbass! A good laugh between the cuckhold, the bastard child and the whore and all is well huh? This should be under science fiction!

As usual, a gripping story, hopeless editing (one poor lost soul said the errors were 'few and far between'!) and a ridiculous ending. Four stars tho' the 'petition' dividing the gym was just too (yes it has two 'o' s) dumb.

I confess to being an unabashed fan of RG and all his stories, most of which I've read several times. He really stirs up my emotions--and even if I'm not always happy where things end up, even if I feel that some of his honorable betrayed husbands manage to forgive their nasty wives for things that are unforgivable, I still find his stories immensely satisfying. This one is no exception--thanks!

ohio

Mary is weak of character, self control, and morals. She is only a strong manipulator. Although I enjoyed the story I think it missed the "strong woman" mark. I enjoyed the story telling. Jason's feelings of betrayal could be felt deep in your soul. He is truly a nice guy who trusted his wife only to find that she isn't worthy of it. I thought the ending was hurried and not in keeping with the rest of the story. I was all set to give the story a 5* rating until page 9 where the ending seemed hurried and incongruent resulting in a 4* rating.

Good but not great. At his best RG deftly weaves in legal machinations reflecting in very tangible way and creates supporting characters with star dialogue in process of tracking convoluted lives of his main character. The author has mentioned health problems and I speculate that this is why the story feels like a novice effort by this scribe.

I kept waiting for the twist from lusty Myst. It never happened. It hadn't been a problem buying into this skilled author's reconciliations before. But the career obsessed wife throwing away her job , moving cross country away from family to keep husband and dealing with him as equal instead of puppet mistress ?

This felt like slap dash slugfest whimsically crafted for happy ending. I didn't feel in my bones as mentioned before that this couple's bond was beyond the betrayal. No rancor at RG !

This wasn't my cup of tea. It's conclusion seemed pre-bagged and assembled from by Lipton factory , instead of reading tea leaves as they slowly and deliciously unfurl in anything is possible pattern upon settling in hot water of suppressed truth that his characters are immersed and nigh scalded in.

get used to males reconciling with women that they KNOW are whores¡

Well written, as always, but an unreal, and disappointing ending.

1*

...she’s not even sorry. Doesn’t want to lose him, but just figures ‘Oops!’

I’ve enjoyed many of your stories, but ... nope.

Glad I didn't waste my time reading eight pages only to find a garbage ending on page nine. Reconciliation is fine, but IT HAS TO BE EARNED. Unfortunately, RAAC authors can never figure that out. It's page after page after page of horrific behavior and then mail in the ending by them getting back together with little or no effort on the horrible person's part.

A better ending would be knife fight with both whores simultaneously giving each other the coup de grace.

One thing that always gets me with these "reverse breadwinner" stories, is, if the man is the primary breadwinner, and expects his wife to be subservient, he's a male chauvinist pig, but if the wife is the primary breadwinner, the man is expected to accept a second-class role.

Nothing in her list o requirements for a man requires subservience.

"I had naively not realized that my actions would reflect on him." - NOW who's obtuse?

"You are going to throw away a twenty-one-year marriage over a word?" - Why do the cheaters and/or their apologists always say that? He's not throwing it away, she already did.

"Some would pay him double what we do." - Did it ever occur to her to pay the "jewel of the department" a little more?

"It was in my name only like most of our possessions" - Why? Because she's the primary earner? When the husband is the primary both names are one their possessions.

Black and sugarless coffee isn't that hard to remember!

"I intended to show my husband, who was the boss, and just why that was the proper designation of roles." - Isn't that the attitude that caused her problems in the first place?

"I don't have that kind of money, and you know it," - Um, I'm sure his share of the marital assets should cover it.

It seems that RG has never written a slut wife that her husband won't reconcile with.

RG you have created another masterpiece, weaving so many characters from the other stories you have produced. The cheating wife, the wronged husband, throw in a charity boxing match, how else could it end. The cheating wife getting paid back when little weak hubby starts cheating on her! Oh be gone you cruel prankster, who shows you how it feels to be on the receiving end of infidelity. What brought this strange fate about but an ill conceived ideal to dress to entice someone other than your loving clueless husband. To dress this way in front of aforementioned husband, oh can you spell idiot. Of coarse the husband is the last to know. Then when hubby takes vengeance upon the stupid theft of his manhood the genie is out of the bottle. The cheating wife (if the harlot can be called one), takes the bludgeoned cocksman to the hospital! What could the husband do? The cheating wife finally found out, oh woe is her after so many years of cheating to her hearts content. Oh when did she start her fall from grace? A mere sixteen years, alas with Tina appearing to be fifteen and not of Jasons blood line! To be a man so in love so blinded by love, what happens when life bites you on your ass, maybe it really is love, or at least so in this tale.

You have a way of not convincing us that the wives are really worth taking back.

This was your worst written story. More spelling, punctuation, and word choice errors than you usually make in 10 stories.

Broken ribs. I’ve had sprained ribs, and they’re so painful that you don’t want to move. Hated the sequel to “The Bridge” by another author. The wife in that story was much more interesting than that author understood her to be. Your female characters are so much more complex than putting them in the merely unfaithful whore category. Yeah, they’re bad, but how they got there and why they’re bad is what you really express in your stories. I anxiously await your next offering.

I loved the writing,RG is one of the best writers on here. The hard part is the story, you feel for the husband,that a decent man is abused by a woman only Gloria Steinham could love,a woman who basically went after Jason clinically for being good breeding stock, who basically used Jason while she scewed her way to the top and who never,even at the end of the story, ever really seems to understand what she did. You can argue she atones by becoming in a sense what he had been to her,a dependent spouse,but in reality she gives up nothing,the law firm could go under anyway and she made enough money that she still had the upper hand...and it raises the real question, why does she want to stay with a man she obviously thinks of with disdain,despite her claim she loves him, it sounds like what she loved was having a safe,conmfortable schlub to kick around.....At the very least Jason should have divorced her after her flirting w the boxer,and made her earn her way back to him,it was too easily given.

For a NY writer a couple of unforgiveable sins, it is a reuben sandwich,it is Goldman Sachs (or gold ball sachs as a friend of mine calls it).

Until I reached the end, I was never really aware that this was a nine-page story. RG's style kept it moving along and it never felt _heavy_. Now there are those who will say that a) "this is Loving Wives, there's no such thing as 'light' here" and b) "the treachery of Mary was too great and too heartless to be forgiven". On both counts, this may be correct.

RG is not afraid to take a story in either direction (reconciliation or a burn), or even to leave it somewhat ambiguous, sometimes all in the same extended storyline. There is the tendency for the men in an RG story to be "simple" and to be overly generous in both the "forgiving" and "forgetting" columns. Here is no exception. But it you read his stories, you know this going in. It's always uphill for the men, and rarely are they up for the task. In the context of this contest ("strong women") RG fits the bill. So this story is exactly what you'd expect in this contest and from this author. There is no disappointment in that regard.

My gripes are mostly that, despite the sections dedicated exclusively to Mary, I don't really see her change of heart from the selfish to selfless. It's too rushed. She has the all the wealth and property (from both her family and as a couple), the kids are grown. She's still desirable and can attract men. So what is the need to keep Jason around? She loves him? I don't know what that means to a character like this.

Up to the end, she's pretty despicable. But it's relatively minor, compared to past RG female leads.

And the same vein, but to a lesser degree, the reconciliation with Tina is far too rushed as well. But this is more forgivable due to the father-daughter bond keeping their ties closer in the first place. I really did like Jason's distancing between him and Tina, though, so this peeve is reduced a bit.

The RG male protagonist is the usual fare for him, intelligent but not smart but he doesn't need the development, since his path is linear and he never comes close to straying from his prescribed path.

What this story really needs is a significant clean up in editing. Too many "to" instead of "too", "their all lesbians" not "they're all lesbians", "petition" instead of "partition", "Queen's" instead of "Queens", "discrete" not "discreet" etc.

On the whole, very fun and enjoyable. Good quality from RG and nothing too heavy. Good summer reading.

Mary had a laundry list of transgressions. Her entire lifestyle was deceit, betrayal, selfishness and scheming. From the very outset.

Jason was so short-sighted when it came to human interaction he had to be autistic. Actually, a savant, given his talent in the realm of maths. Then upon discovery of his wife's sins, you paint him with an uncompromising moral code. He could not even see that Tina was not his, when it was blatantly obvious to anyone else. Remember 'Me, Myself and Irene' anyone?

The first time you see the cracks in his moral stance is when Mary takes control of the case against the first fighter. The attitude she takes is again of dominance and control. The position she outlines to him is clearly coercion, if not blackmail.

If I were in his position, being robbed of my history, beliefs, and daughter, I would take jail. Would not care about the fight. I also think any other lawyer would get him off... The other guy clearly believed to be the higher class fighter, himself choosing Jason, disparaging him with multiple witnesses. What happened to legal releases used even in a training environment?

I would also not buckle under threats of a drawn-out resistance to a divorce on Mary's part. Any lawyer would take his case. A proven string of infidelity on her part. A work place culture based around indiscriminate, extra marital liaisons between seniors and subordinates, a daughter passed off as his own. Her control of all assets, cash and property. Her level of income many times his...

If ever there was a legal case where the wife would get the slow basted on a rotisserie , this is it, and it does happen.

Then you have the reveal about Jack's past to take Jack and Anne out of the equation... A very significant backstory... So high an impact that it crowds this tale like a secret twist coming to light in 'Days of Our Lives', but just related in a single paragraph to dispense with Jack's desire to have a presence in his daughters life.

Finally, the reconciliation brought about suddenly at the end of the biggest billed amateur boxing match you can imagine.

If it was sold as a soap opera, then it fits, though clearly written to appeal to white middle American housewives... Like 'The Horse Whisperer ' was promoted as a great romance, but in reality, was only thinly veiled justification for a whore.

The theme was 'women in power'. This does not necessarily mean that it has to be a good outcome for the woman. In this particular case, the RAAC felt so contrived and forced, it felt like bizarro-world to me.

Even though it sounds like it, I am not writing this as an attack. It's just that it did not feel right to me. I am trying to describe critically how I see it. Sorry if it offends.

I have read the odd RAAC story that I accepted at face value. Rare though.

The last page “rainbows and unicorns” flip seriously put this off. Jarring.

There was great potential in this story . So much room for any manner of twists and turns , and although I could see this was a fairly long story , your writing had me captivated .

And then it all went wrong .

I could see it happening .

The story became more about anger and happenings around a boxing gym and practically nothing about a slut lawyer , her workplace , her family relationships.

I did briefly think that after his boxing match that would be the end of part 1 and there would be a part 2 regarding divorce , family fallout , going forward .... and very likely an eventual getting back together .

The ending bore no relation to the marriage this guy thought he had . Did you get bored or just decided it had gone on long enough ?

I find it hard to believe this story came from the extremely talented Mr RichardGerald.

Not so

no trust no mariage

Just goes to show!

Another 5* effort from you. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Your writing has seriously declined, you seem to be a shadow of your former self.

despite the somewhat manufactured ending, the RAAC that we all know is coming in and RG tale. But what a tour de force of story telling and intrigue along the way!

A very good story and well written. The ending didn’t work for me as her betrayal was just too much, but still a good job.

Title speaks for itself. As for the story, it was horribly depressing. The main character was not only ignorant, but stupid as well. .... I'm brilliant, but can't see my baby girl can't statistically be mine. My wife cuckolds me for 16 years, including knowingly having another man's child. OK doke. Boy, am I mad! Well, maybe not. .. Oh, well, I guess it's no problem. But, you better not do it again. Unless you want to date the guy I'm going to fight.

although I don't buy the mother-in-law blackmail. It would have been too easy for all to walk away from and ostracize her.

5*

Story itself is riveting. RG's writing is always great. The twist with Latisha was interesting. Somehow heading to CA with Mary doesn't work, though. Five star story despite the ending.

I think the only difference between this story and the rest of the author's works is that this time the protagonist got hit in the head so hard that he was happy to go home with a whore and someone else's kid.

My criticism is the same as always: Justifiable adultery and a man who accepts it.

Well written (as always) and while I liked the tie in with the other characters I don't feel I read a new story.

It was going well, despite the many grammatical and spelling errors, then it all finished with hardly a splash. Just didn't feel right about the sudden reconciliation.

This tale may not end to everyone’s liking. Regardless, I have enjoyed these stories a lot. I hope to read more of the same; more about O’Reilly could be interesting as well. 5*

In the next episode he takes her back after she shits in his mouth and sets him on fire!

Really?! "Your whore?" Yeah, his and everyone's else's. She'll fuck anything with a pulse. I wouldn't fuck her with a vaccinated crowbar.

Why write this shit?

I really like your stories, even though most of the men are wimps and your endings are, to me, unsatisfactory (especially "Crime & Punishment: The Prequel Ch. 12" which really sucked) but I still gave this story a 5. To me, none of your other stories can measure up to "The Bridge'

but all them devoe bitches need to die, and the wumpy fucks that stay with them

You lost me from Joe & Mary coupling to the end. There is NO way in which Mary could honestly believe that angering Jason about her being "With" Joe Crawford would endear him to her. Jason would have either angrily lost control in the ring, gotten beaten terribly, & lost quickly. Alternatively Jason doesn't care and moves on to California without Mary anyway. Whether Jason took Mary back again(he shouldn't have), getting with Joe Crawford was a terrible & unbelievable catalyst. Good writing, poor plot ending. 4*

Why did Mary's Bro-in-Laws blackmail fall so short of doing anything really. It was oddily specific and a little contrived as a plot device to separate Tina & her bio-dad. Made it unbelievable.

A decent story but the mistaken words were a frequent distraction. On just the last page I noticed “petition for “partition,” “site” for “sight,” and “pulka” (apparently a kind of sled) for (I guess) “palooka.” There were lots more throughout. Take pity on your readers and find a way to fix that, please.

*sigh*

Another great story ending in cuckoldry. What is going on in LE where the protagonist has fire in the belly, regains pride and integrity, then throws it all away for an unpenitent whore?

I literally cannot comprehend the lack of self respect or faux justifications in cases like this. And it seems to be a reoccurring trend between different authors somewhat. Very disturbing.

Same story different characters... dumb men, smart women and cuckolds.

So he gets his cojones back with Latisha and then gives them back to the whore wife? I'm usually the one on the side of forgiveness, but in this one out hero should forgive and move on.

If I'm writing the story the tall black beauty takes one look at her beat up ex, discovers she has developed feelings in her snake heart for Jason, and says,"Oh, Hell no." Then she spins on her stiletto and drags Jason off to sunny California, leaving the wife forgiven but alone.

R.

Very good but am not clear on why he suddenly reconciles with the slut of a wife... in my on head i understand he knows the new GF is much like wifey.... so stays with the devil he knows? Not sure she could suddenly dump all her personal ambition just because her mum is harassing her law partner either. But very good read overall.

What a waste of time.... 8 pages of reasonable reaction to a whore wife and then he just takes her back. 1 star....this story was so disappointing and the beta-male crowd will love it.

Tons of wrong words. It seems like it was dictated to an old voice-recognition software program. Homophones and near-misses. The most telling was to screw up ‘Palooka’ in a story heavily featuring boxing!

The reversal of Hubby’s disgust with Sweetie’s marriage-long disrespect was WAY too quick. A large part of that failure was that Sweetie’s stint as his assigned lawyer was not very convincing towards the reconciliation purpose. And acting like she was ‘an item’ with the Hammer was a stupid long-shot. Did Hubby ever get his real bike back?

I expect more from the author named RG. usually the stories have better spelling and the man isn't such a spineless wimp. One would think from the introduction, that this protagonist was certain of his attributes and positive in his direction and subject understanding (math).

Too heavy on the clueless cuckold and not enough realization of how little his family thinks about him as a "man" - a "male", yes, but not as a man. Also too heavy on the unrepentant slut-wife. She never mentioned ever "loving him" thru the entire story, so suddenly coming to that "realization was hard for a reader to understand. Her job is the "...most important relationship in her life." How can the reader understand the SUDDEN turn of events, especially when she says she wasn't passionate about her life with the cuckold. He was a maid in man's clothes - end of story.

Spelling: it is PALOOKA, not "pulka". a room is divided by a PARTITION, not a "portion". Boxers train in SESSIONS not "cessations" - ETC and others

Bad job IMHO

Smokepole

of this author. Unbelievably stupid main male character with no spine.

Accept the bastard daughter? Fine, I guess, he did raise her. And they DID connect.

Let the older girls off the hook with no consequences? No way.

Let his wife back in his life? Never.

Three stars only because there was boxing.

Of all the ones in the contest I liked a few of them. I gave several 5's, even though I found myself skipping through parts of all of the stories. Your story was the last one I read as it was at the top of the list, so I should have been tired. However, I found myself hanging on every word, reading every sentence.

The first 8 pages were amazing, the last page just didn't work for me at all. It wasn't that they got back together necessarily. I got to the bottom of page 8 and I was thinking how does he resolve this story at this point in only one page. The thought that came to mind that either Jason gets killed in the ring sending Mary on a tailspin, or he kills the other guy in the ring and he is sentenced to a long prison sentence again sending Mary on a tailspin.

Then I get to page 9 and I notice from the side bar that it's actually a shorter page. Which even confirmed more there would be a dramatic ending. Bottom line page 9 seemed like it was written by another author. It was completely rushed. I have no problem with this couple getting back together, but it just didn't make any sense. I can see what you were trying to do with the fight seen and the two manipulative women getting their men back, but it wasn't laid out well at all. I still gave it a 5, because the first 8 pages deserve it.

Honestly, if you had Jason get killed during the fight that would have made this story great. Mary was doing her thing, believing it to be harmless fun that wouldn't touch the marriage she loved. I truly bought in that she loved Jason. So Jason being killed ultimately because of her actions and she was never able to clear things with him would have had a very lasting impression I think on the readers. Not because of the BTB aspect on her (I'm not one of those loser cucks who masturbate to revenge on women because they feel so powerless in real life), but we often take paths in life even though we know they may not be the best or the most moral and righteous, but we make ourselves believe that it ultimately is not that consequential. Jason dying would have been a very consequential ending to Mary's thoughtlessness and as a piece of art very fitting.

Ultimately though this was a happy ending for Jason. He is an obtuse man and what were the odds he would find a good life partner again. He would have gone to Berkeley and been alone and lonely. Mary ultimately did love him, and looks like she had learned her lesson. Someone like Jason probably needed a bit of the benevolent dictator to direct his life as he probably would have just floated along otherwise. I guess now with the changed Mary he had the reformed benevolent dictator who wouldn't take advantage of his lack of obtuseness. I just wish you did a better job of getting the reader there on pages 9-11.

Rubbish. She cheats on him for the entire marriage and he just takes her back!?!?!?! There is no plane on which a man would ever act in this way, at least not a man who could be worthy of being called such. And I’m a female writing this.

FBG

You gotta love a bit of biff.

Sorry that's physics, not maths. But the question stands.

Why does the getting married take so fricking long. Gave up somewhere on page 1 when it looked like they would take forever to actually marry.

Disappointing when it started great, straight into him getiing suspicious. Then the backstory just had to follow. Who cares if they met in a beer hall or a space station.

The ending seemed very rushed, and completely unbelievable. There's is no self respecting man on the planet that would have taken her back. There are no repercussions to the daughters who knew about her cheating and yet didn't have the decency to tell their father who was their primary care giver? I guess everyone in the story had no respect for him and all viewed him weak. By having him take her back, you just reinforced that he was a wimp.

Thank you so much for sharing your work!

the wife was unfaithful almost the entire marriage and gave her husband a bastard child. Even in the old days when men were allowed to have concubines, mistresses or (if they were powerful enough) harems, the men did not place the care of their child from one woman to his other women.

And what’s galling the story did indicate that the wife was not attracted to the husband. she simply did not want to end up like he female mentor. She has no redeeming quality. And before anyone says she help him in the lawsuit, that lawsuit is an easy case since before you can use such facilities they have to sign a waver with regards to injury. Heck the bastard daughter was no better either, it was only through the machination of the grandmother Tina broke relations with her real dad. Same with the other daughters. I can understand keeping the affai a secret but the fact that they’re still chummy with their mom.

I have said this before, I too enjoy reconcilliation story. But there was nothing in the story that would suggest or even push for reconcilliation. The woman was not sorry for cheating, she’s sorry she was caught. and while she justify her infidelity and even giving her husbanf a bastard, she is hypocritacal about being hurt when her husband has with another woman AFTER they broke off (at this point their marriage was just in paper and divorce was just a formality).

The first part was awesome, you set up the characters, the drama and the dilemna. then for some unknown reason the ending happened. I had to go back just check if i missed something. but nothing. there was nothing to suggest, foreshadow or even justify the ending. It’s like I read the beginning and ending of 2 different story. I hope the author can rewrite the story. This has the potential to become a fave reconcilliation story. the author already setup the stage.

In real life. i have no opinion about people who subscribe to the idea of polyamory. as long as both are consenting adult i have no ill will towards them. But just like in the story, as in real life, people who subscribe to this lifestyle hypocritically chose to marry people who doesn’t.

She never had any respect for him and clearly never will (when she said "you're acting like an overgrown child" also women have never had any respect for men, might respect how much you bring home but respect for you? Never going to happen) and only cares about what she wants so for him to take her back that easily is ludicrous.

It would have been 2* if you had only wasted my time for four pages instead of nine. But to spend nearly nine pages on a well constructed story to collapse with such a weak and illogical ending inconsistent with the character that had been built is criminal.

It could have been 5* if you had taken the two additional pages needed to write a decent and consistent ending.

4 is the best I could give.....to much story at the front and not enough at the end. She needed to suffer more and he needed to have a more than just ending up with a whore. Getting back together can be ok...but this one....she should have had to go through more to end up winning in the end

The basis for the raac was her claiming he owed her for the settlement and the defense costs. Had the author researched insurance and defense obligations he would have found that if a person is a proper insured and if the policy covers the claim in the complaint a defense is required at no cost to the defendant. Further the wife/slut cant make a deal to take over the defense and settlement certainly not without her husband's consent. So in reality he owed her nothing. Just another lie she told to manipulate him

I love your stories but the ending didn't match.

That was a high amount of abuse and disrespect to overcome to take her and even the daughters back.

The work to overcome that just wasn't there.

well ty for that waste of time, maybe get to know ur own characters, or stop writing back stories for them

No way a man who thought anything of himself would take the whore back. Most have nothing to do with the girls if they found out that they knew of her cheating. The entire story has so many flaws. If she was that high power in her profession he could have gotten enough money to leave the slut behind since hAlf of all money was his. He could have got his hands enough to go to California and get lost and leave the slut behind. She is not going to change she shows that by going after the other boxer.

You took 9 pages, the first 7 were very very good, the next one started the slide, the finish was just pure laziness. The characters were developed well, the story line believable until the end. Shame to take such a 5+ story and turn it into 2+ story in 2 pages. Taking her back (I love a reconciliation story) NFW she needed to burn burn burn same as the daughters. This man was betrayed on so many levels by so many people, time to head out west and try to find someone worthy of his level, not subterranean bottom dwellers. He was not the one punching above his weight at all.