Occupational Hazards Ch. 05

Gregory was paranoid, asking me why I was getting so chummy with Miss Molly. Weren't the rest of his girls good enough for me? Maybe he should test her out to see what I thought was so special about her.

I froze, my hands raised. Had something tipped him off about the Council's involvement? Or was he really suddenly questioning my requests after all this time?

I tried to act scared although I was calm. Angry, but calm. This was my job. I was focused. Concentrating on where everyone was.

Then everything moved so fast.

Molly was crying as she crawled toward me. Gregory was faster and grabbed her hair, yanking her up to her feet as she screamed. I reached for Molly while Jimbo lunged at me.

Gregory pushed Molly at me, making me lose my balance. We tumbled into the couch, and I rolled away to go after Jimbo again. There was a struggle for the weapon. He dropped it before I knocked him down and out for the count. I stood and turned to hear Molly scream. Then there was a loud bang. Or maybe the bang was first.

###

"Molly!" I shot upright, yelling her name.

A loud crack and flash of light had me clutching my chest. It was on fire as I gasped for breath.

"Ben! Ben!" A female voice was screaming from far away, and my body was shaking. "Wake up, Ben!"

I realized someone was shaking my shoulders. The sounds echoed again. Thunder. Lightning. Not a gunshot. Not this time.

Rain pounded overhead. My cheek was wet. Was it raining inside? No, someone was crying. I was crying.

"Ben? Please...look at me."

I did, but the face I saw was blurry. When I blinked, it cleared into a familiar one. "Nikki!"

Her arms went around me as I reached for her. Air rushed into my lungs, and I began sobbing. That uncontrollable kind where your whole body shakes you to your core.

She rocked me. "Shh! Hey, it's just the storm. You were dreaming."

I clutched at the arms around me. Nikki's arms, as she soothed me. Not Molly's, as her life slipped away.

And that reality—that final piece of the puzzle I'd buried for so long—made every part of me suddenly hurt. As if even my bones were sharing in my pain. Through it all, Nikki held me. Just as I'd held her at Twisted Cocktails.

When I could breathe again, I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I failed you."

"Ben? What are you talking about?" Nikki pulled back and put her hands on both sides of my face, her thumbs brushing at my tears. "We already discussed this. You haven't failed—"

"Not you. Molly." I shook my head then closed my eyes.

Her hands fell away. "Who's Molly? I don't understand."

I leaned back against the headboard, sighing heavily. I wanted to tell her...everything. What I did for a living. Why she was here. But I knew I couldn't jeopardize both of our lives. It wasn't my place. So I went with the next best thing.

"Molly was a friend." I gave her a sad smile. "A very close friend."

Nikki looked at her lap as she turned to sit sideways beside me. "Oh, your girlfriend."

"No. We were never like...that." Though I admitted in my head I'd dreamed she was during our sessions.

Nikki nodded. "You said she 'was' a friend. What happened?"

I swallowed, keeping my eyes open though I wanted to close them. Anything to delay the images I knew would be right there at the front of my mind, wanting to replay repeatedly. "We were attacked by a couple of men. One had a gun. I was able to get it away from him, and knock him out, but—"

"Wow! Did you go all 'Karate Kid' on him or something?"

"Um, yeah, kinda. I know jiu-jitsu." I cleared my throat. "The other guy managed to get the gun, and he shot Molly before I tackled him, too. She...um...died in my arms."

"Oh, my God, Ben!" Nikki leaned forward and gave me a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." I returned the gesture and laid my head on her shoulder.

A weight I had been unknowingly carrying for six years suddenly felt lighter. I still held remorse...some guilt...but I no longer felt I was hiding in the darkness of my own memories. Memories that were coming back to me since literally waking up.

I hadn't mentioned I'd shot Gregory...in both knees, although I'd first aimed between his eyes. He was no good to us dead. He'd dragged himself out of the room, screaming like a baby, but I hadn't cared. He wouldn't get far. I'd shut the door and cradled Molly's dying body in my arms on the couch while I'd called Davenport's emergency number.

One of the other agents had happened to be onsite and heard the gunshots. He had grabbed Gregory and was already calling his handler by the time that Davenport was sending in backup. After Davenport allowed me to leave the crime scene—after the Feds had swept in to rescue all of the girls and arrest Gregory Dade—I'd sworn I'd never go undercover again. And I sure as hell wouldn't dabble in BDSM.

I'd had nightmares for several months. The bourbon helped to chase those away. Especially if I didn't sleep. I'd moved back to Omega unit once the agency's psychiatrist had cleared me. And I'd buried myself in my work once more, suppressing everything about that mission that I could.

Until I ran into Nikki.

I understood now. The attraction? The need to protect her?

She reminded me of Molly, especially in her looks. They were also both alone. Abused. And had easily opened up to me once I'd convinced them I could help. My subconscious remembered I couldn't save Molly...but I had been given a second chance. I wasn't going to fail again. And so I had done whatever I could to succeed.

My eyelids were heavy. I wanted to sleep. But I was scared. Afraid of what I would dream about.

The sheets rustled. I felt the movement at my waist before I could fully open my eyes. "What are you doing, Nikki?"

"Shh."

I groaned. "I don't want a sympathy fuck."

"Who said anything about fucking you? I'm helping you relax. So no talking."

I cracked one eye to see the back of her head as it bent over my waist. The sheet moved away, and I felt the cooler air hit my cock before her warm hand covered it. I sucked in my breath. Licked my lips.

"Can I at least moan?"

"Yes. Now be still."

And moan is what I did for the longest time after that. Feelings of the present replaced memories of the past. I could not change what had happened. There was no sense letting that consume me. Now Nikki, on the other hand...

Her fingers...they were as soft as silk as they moved over me. Slowly at first. Gently. My cock responded, awakening to her touch. As I grew firmer, so did her pressure and speed. Her hand twisted as she stroked down, drawing a groan from me. Over and over again. Building me up.

I was content to have her do this all night. It felt amazing. And it almost put me to sleep. Until I felt her lips kiss the soft head of my cock. The tip of her tongue pressing at the slit.

My moans turned to strangled groans then, my hands fisting in the sheet beneath me. I so wanted to guide her head down further. I settled for leaning my head back, submitting to her version of torture.

Her own moan made me shiver just as her lips wrapped around my crown. Then I was in heaven as she took me into her mouth. As I experienced a new kind of wet heat with her. It was, in a word, delicious. The flat of her tongue now ran over the top. Back and forth, as if she was licking a lollipop or an ice cream cone though her lips never retreated.

I thought it couldn't get any better. But then, her hands started fondling my balls. Gently rolling them between her fingers.

My breaths were coming in sharp gasps now. And my hips were lifting every so slightly. My fingers itched to bury in her hair. Then it occurred to me that she hadn't said not to touch her.

She let out a startled cry as I did just that. My cock in her mouth muffled the sound. And then it settled into a long hum as I lightly stroked the back of her head. Ran my fingers through her silken tresses. The urge to press down was there, but the desire for her to suck my cock at her leisure was greater.

Outside, the storm was calming. Inside, a new storm was building.

I switched so I could play with her hair with my left hand. My right moved down to caress her bare back, to draw circles and random designs on her smooth skin with my fingertips. I felt the shivers that raced up her spine as a result.

Her own motions grew more intent. She bobbed her head further down, taking me down to the base. Her breasts grazed my thigh now. The suction increased between her sweet lips. And she still fondled my most delicate parts, her thumb rubbing the sensitive skin between them occasionally.

One thing was certain: this woman knew how to give head.

Within another minute, I felt my balls draw up to the base of my cock. I gently tugged on Nikki's hair, but she didn't stop.

"Honey, I'm going to..." I grunted and took a deep breath. "I'm going to come."

"Hmm."

And then fire exploded through my cock. Still she sucked. Her tongue pressing against the underside of my extremely hard shaft.

I let out a loud cry and lifted my hips, humping her mouth as I emptied myself into her.

My whole body felt sweaty as relief flowed over me. I shuddered, still feeling her wonderful mouth around my cock. Milking it. Cleaning it. Making love to it.

I just smoothed my hands over her hair and back. Panting. Seeing stars.

I clutched at her arms until she sat up. Then I gathered her against me, holding her chin as I kissed her soundly, not caring that she had just swallowed my semen. As exhaustion pulled at me, I relaxed the kiss. When I eventually released her, I pressed my lips to her forehead. "That was amazing, honey."

She sighed, tucking her head under my chin, mindless of my still heaving chest. "Yes, it was."

I chuckled and stroked her arm as we drifted back to sleep, still sitting upright against the headboard in the middle of a tropical rainstorm.

###

We went for a walk around the island in the morning after breakfast. Everything was drenched, the path littered with palm fronds. The staff was out in golf carts, picking up debris, trying to get the island back to its previous appearance.

Nikki leaned her head on my arm, our fingers intertwined between us. "You know what? Even after a storm, this place is beautiful."

"Indeed. It's paradise."

"I meant what I said on the plane. Thank you for this trip. It has been amazing." She stopped at the path to our villa, and I turned to see her biting her lower lip as she smiled. "All of it."

I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're very welcome. And I meant what I said...I'm sorry if it's been overwhelming."

She shrugged. "It's not so much anymore."

"Good."

"I just feel that when we return..." Her head lowered; her smile fading as she sighed. "I fear I'm not going to know how to live. That world—my world—cannot compete."

"Nikki?" I tucked two fingers under her chin and tipped it up. "This is exactly why I apologized. Me? I'm used to it. But you?"

"I'm the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Literally." Her cheeks flushed at that, and she tried to jerk her chin away.

My grip tightened. "No, you're not. You just got in with the wrong guy. You deserve so much better than him. I'm not saying this island is what you should be aiming for, but something more than the life he's given you."

She blinked, and a tear trickled down her cheek. Her voice was a dry whisper when she spoke. "Like a life with you?"

I groaned and pulled her into my arms. "I don't know, honey. I don't know."

We stood for a while longer, my heart racing. I didn't want to get my hopes up, as I had with Molly. And I didn't want to make any promises I couldn't keep.

I'd lain awake this morning for quite some time, thinking about my past as I watched Nikki sleep. She'd lain there on her stomach, her head turned from me. The sheet had covered just her lower half, and I found my eyes tracing the scars on her back. Wishing I could have prevented them.

I told myself that I couldn't have anticipated the encounter with Gregory and Jimbo. I couldn't have known there would be an accident that resulted in such a tragedy. But I could learn from it. Which meant that we had to take Hunter and his guys out of commission before Nikki got hurt more than she already was. Or worse, we had another tragedy on the clock.

But I was not privy to the team's progress. I had no say. And I was still here.

Yes, I was here, in a wonderland with a damsel who was only distressed when I didn't let her come. A beauty who was more than willing to pass the time away between the sheets. Or on top of them. In the shower. Down on the sand under the moonlight. Then on the steps of the pool to wash off.

Hmm.

That one had been fun with the water lapping at our naked bodies. She'd giggled quite a bit, and I'd had a slight fear that we would draw attention from other guests. Which made me wonder what I could use as a gag. Maybe if no one could hear her...

I started down the path, my grip on her hand loosening and slipping away. "There is something I'd like to try if you're—"

"Ben?" That one little word sounded so...serious. "I—"

"Yes?" I took two more steps toward the villa.

"Please, stop."

I did as she bid and turned back to her. She was wringing her hands, watching me with her lip between her teeth.

Her head shook slightly. "I don't want to do it anymore."

My breath caught in my throat. My knees suddenly felt weak.

Her eyes widened at whatever look had crossed my face. "Oh, no, I still want to have sex!"

I pressed my hand to my chest. Closed my eyes for a moment.

"I mean the other stuff. The bondage. The submission."

I had enough sense to retrace my steps to her. I was disappointed, but I had expected this outcome eventually. I'd been easy on her. Gradually showing her things. But she had not been as receptive as one would normally be who wanted to submit to another.

I cupped her cheek, brushing my thumb over her cheek as I saw her jaw tremble. "It's okay. I understand. You should not do anything you don't want to."

"I...I enjoyed it. But it's with you. And I have this strange feeling that we're..." She glanced down, shaking her head again.

"What, honey?"

She sniffled. "I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to fall in love with this idea of submitting to you...if it doesn't last. Sure, it works here. But we have to go home eventually. We have our own lives. Who's to say —"

"Shh." I brought her to me again. "We'll deal with that when the time comes."

She nodded against my shoulder and walked with me when I turned back to the villa.

"Would you like to order breakfast now?" I crossed the living room area to retrieve the binder with the resort's menus for room service. As I reached for it, I saw my phone sitting on the table where I'd left it charging. Talking to Patrick yesterday after having used my phone to catch up on news back in the states in the morning had drained the power quite a bit. I checked to see the battery level and noticed I had a missed message.

I entered my code, tapped on the messages icon, and suddenly felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach.

Davenport: Need you back. 9:00pm flight tonight. Will meet at airport.

Shit. He hadn't given the all-clear. If he was meeting us at the airport, something was wrong.

"I just want some fruit," Nikki said behind me. "Oh, and that little pastry thing we had yesterday. That was delicious."

"Hmm."

"Ben? Did you hear— What is it?"

I flinched as she put her hand on my shoulder. "Looks like our time in paradise is coming to an end. My boss needs me back at the office. We have a flight tonight."

"Oh." Her hand fell away. Her voice was further away when she added, "I'll start packing."

I set an alarm then locked the phone and plugged the charger in again before turning around. I took the few steps to close the distance between us and took her wrist as she opened the dresser drawer. "No, let the butler do that."

She gasped, tugging until I loosened my grip but did not release her completely.

"My apologies, Nikki." My voice sounded so rough. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You...you didn't. It just startled me."

I raised her hand to my mouth, planting a soft kiss on the tender spot between her thumb and forefinger. "Come to bed with me? Let's enjoy the few hours we have left together?"

She simply nodded, but her gaze was somewhere down below.

I lifted her chin to see tears in her eyes. On her cheeks. "Shh. Don't cry, honey."

"I can't help it. I don't want it to end."

I cupped her face between my palms. Brought my lips to hers, brushing lightly until they parted. Until her tongue touched mine in a sensuous play of cat and mouse.

Her moans started soft but increased in volume as well as duration the deeper I kissed her. At first, she placed her hands on my arms. But they fell away, settling on my hips. Gripping me.

My fingers buried in her hair, tilting her head this way and that. I wanted more of her—all of her—but I wanted to delay as long as possible. I knew what she meant. I poured out my frustration in my kisses, which turned into an attack on her mouth.

When she pulled away, breathing heavily, I took her wrist again and led her to the bathroom. Before the full-length mirror, I stood behind her, my chest to her back. I bent my mouth to her ear. "No matter what happens between us, I want you to remember how you feel right now...how you look."

She let out a soft gasp as my left hand cupped her breast through her shirt. My other hand caressed her belly, my arms wrapped around her under her arms that she had lightly rested on mine. In the mirror, I watched her eyes focus on my fingers that now teased her nipple over the two layers covering it.

Then her gaze followed my right hand as I slid it lower. Another sharp intake of breath met my ears as she realized my destination. I brushed lightly at first over the cotton pants covering her bikini bottoms I knew she'd put on this morning. Her moan told me both layers were thin enough that she could feel my touch, or at least the pressure of the material moving against her.

As her eyes drifted closed, I nipped at her neck and growled, "Watch!"

Eyelids fluttering open, she obeyed and let out soft mewls as I rubbed harder, focusing on her clit. My other hand continued to manipulate her breast and nipple, squeezing and pinching until I felt her weight increase against me as her knees buckled.

"Every touch should be pleasurable to you. Whether hard or soft, fast or slow. It should be whatever you desire. Do not settle for anything less. Do you understand?"

Her tongue darted out and licked at her lips. Then she nodded. Barely breathed, "Yes."

"Good."

My tongue and lips nuzzled her neck a while longer, my hands continuing to build her up until her gaze glossed over. From arousal, not tears. Through it all, she kept her eyelids open. Well, mostly open.

I smiled and helped her walk back into the bedroom where I stopped her at the foot of the bed, turning her to face me. Our mouths melded again in a sensual kiss, broken only as I removed my shirt and hers. My hands found their way to her breasts once more. Enticing other delightful sounds from her. When she swayed and gripped my arms for support, I sat her on the edge of the bed and made quick work of removing her bikini top. Then I knelt between her legs.

"I wish the world would stand still," she whispered before gasping as my mouth descended on one puckering nipple. Then she flung her head back, her hands gripping at my shoulders.

My own hands stroked up and down her back. Her sides. Trying to remember every inch of her lest this be our last time together. I licked her nipple, suckling it. Buried my face against the soft, swollen flesh, biting it lightly.

I paid homage to her other breast in the same way until she was trembling in my arms. Then I kissed my way up her collarbone to her neck. Along her jaw to her ear. Her eyes, her nose, her forehead. Then I gave her the chastest of kisses upon her lips before laying her back on the bed.