All Comments on 'Oddball Ch. 07c'

I really like the story line, don't get me wrong. And it's appropriate that you're killing off the minor characters and their digressions. But man you have GOT to get to the point here! It's been fives all the way, but I am getting impatient. Oh by the way, you write pretty good.

It even reads like a US soap opera - short scenes cutting back and forth to stop the viewer from channel hopping. (I read somewhere that the optimum shot length is 12 seconds as that was reckoned to be the attention span of the average US TV viewer)<br>

Fascinating and gripping all the same. It's got me hooked!

love this tale, but by the time you post the next chapter, i have forgotten who is related/married/casually fucking whom! a scorecard or synopsis is recommended bro for my enjoyment. otherwise, love your work.

I'm really split about this one, as with most of your stories.

On the one hand, I somehow always come back, as the stories are really entertaining to read and the main characters interesting.

But there are always the same problems: Far too many characters, all with very common names, and too few hints that would remind you if a character appeared before and which one it was. Right now, I think we have five to seven families of four and more people, each one named Jim, John, Mary, Kate, David, and so on...

Secondly, and related to it, there are too many sideplots. Half the time, I have no idea what peoples stories I'm following right now.

And it might be personal taste, but I think about every second chapter could use a bit less of overblown tragedy. After some chapters, you start to expect the next rape, murder, suicide, or fatal accident to happen every paragraph now.

Which is not to say I don't like the stories, as I'm still reading on. But keeping them more focused and less over dramatic, would make them more fun to read, at least for me.

There are so many different stories going on I think it would have been better if you'd written them all individually. There are far too many tangents and it would be better, for the reader, if you could concentrate on the main characters Mary and Thomas.

I love your stories, but I wish you'd learn where the hymen is or avoid virgin sex altogether. That or look hymen up online.

happy proposal completley overshadowed by david! poor john! i know he was basically raping david, but i was really hoping for an rougher hea...

Poor david

Far too complex. I consistently lose track of who/where everyone is and how they got there. Some of the story lines seem to have pretty much lost completely. I stuck with it hoping to find more erotica with a bit less Literature. I think that I may now go back to my old attitude of declining to read anything longer than two pages and one chapter. Brevity is becoming a lost art.