Oedipus Wrecks

"Optimus Primal!" he said as he took it. He was able to turn it into every possible shape just as he'd done 12 years before. As she watched him, it seemed as though a part of him was stuck in the past when he was seven years old while another part of him had the awareness of an adult. She pushed the thought aside knowing she'd have time to deal with those and so many other thoughts. For now, she was just thrilled he was alive and well.

"Do you remember your daddy, Zack?"

He was making noises the way boys do when they imagine a toy hero is fighting the bad guys. "Psh! Ugh! Take that!"

"Zack? Do you want to talk to your father?"

"My new mommy told me he died, too. Is alive just like you?"

She showed him some pictures on her smart phone and saw his face light up when he saw them. "Is he here? Can I talk to him?"

"He's not here, but you can talk to him. Give me a second, okay?" She dialed his number and when he answered she managed to say without crying, "Hi. There's someone here who wants to talk to his father." She handed him the phone but he had no idea what to do with it. "Just talk, honey. He'll hear you."

"Daddy? Are you there?"

There were more tears on both ends as the two...men...talked for quite some time not knowing exactly what to say. When they hung up, the doctor came and said, "Zack needs some rest, Mrs. Marshall. And you really should eat. How about we give him a few hours while you get a decent meal? There's a diner just down the street."

Over the next two days, Veronica spent every minute she could by Zack's side. She didn't understand all that was going on, but she knew there were some very deep underlying issue. She just couldn't put her finger on it. She could only hope that a fully-qualified doctor could tell her just what her son had been through and what she needed to do for him.

True to their word, the FBI flew Zack back to Seattle at their expense, and while Veronica had to pay for her fare, it was a small price to be sure to be with her son. They spent the next three days at the best hospital in the city where Zack was checked from head to toe and given a complete battery of psychological tests. When the results were in, the chief of psychiatry sat her down to talk.

"Mrs. Marshall. Zack has no serious physical issues. We've since learned the woman who abducted him was a registered nurse from your home state. Once they identified her, several of the town's residents knew her. She evidently came in about once a month for food and medical supplies. Those who knew her said she was very warm and pleasant. I know that doesn't change anything, but it's obvious he received reasonably good medical and dental care. However, that's where the good news ends."

"How so?" Veronica asked. "How bad was his time in...with her?"

"From what I can tell, Zack was...there's just no way to sugar coat this, Mrs. Marshall. The woman who abducted your son sexualized him to such a degree that he is going to have an extremely difficult time ever having a normal relationship with a woman his own age."

"What? What do you mean by 'sexualized him'?" she wanted to know.

"This woman...his abductor...lost her own child a year before she took Zack. In fact, she lost him and her husband in a car accident. We don't know much about her beyond that, but from what Zack told her, he was well...he was both her son and...her 'husband'."

"As in...?" Veronica began.

"I'm afraid so. Zack was initially treated as her own little boy, but I'm afraid things degenerated into something far more ominous over time. As a result, Zack has made an extremely deep connection between the need for his mother's love and approval with...with a need for...um...intimacy. In other words, Zack was routinely rewarded for 'good behavior' by being brought into this woman's bed and...and punished by being made to sleep alone in some kind of dark basement or cellar. I'm sure you can connect the dots without me having to get too specific."

"My poor baby!" she said trying to process how awful this must have been for him.

"Zack is, in many respects, still a seven-year old boy. Physically, he's a grown man, but he's had no contact with any other human being besides this woman he calls his 'new mommy.' No children. No other adults. Just her for the passed twelve years. He's going to need intensive psycho-therapy to help him disassociate a woman's love with his internalized need for...let me just say it—sex. So please be aware that in his mind at least, he will for the foreseeable future, be unable to understand that love is not the same thing as sex. And Mrs. Marshall? Don't overreact should Zack try and express his love for you in an inappropriate manner. Be loving, be supportive, but be firm in letting him know that mothers and their sons do not behave that way and that real love does not entail a physical relationship."

"Oh, my God," she said absent-mindedly.

Veronica and her son were flown home first-class to a hero's welcome at the airport. There were "We love you, Zack" and other such signs along with old photos and teddy bears in a pile, while local residents cheered and called out their support.

As they were driven home, Veronica said, "Your bedroom looks exactly like it did the day you left, honey. All of your favorite things are right where you left them."

"Like my other Transformers and Matchbox cars?" he asked with interest but without excitement.

"Yes, all of them. And your train set and other things. We are of course, going to have to buy you some new clothes. At 6' 2" you probably won't fit into what you were wearing twelve years ago." She tried to smile as she said it, but she had no idea what might make him happy or upset him. All she wanted was to make him know that we was loved and wanted.

As they drove into their driveway, his mother asked, "Do you remember our house?"

"Yeah," he said looking at it. "But it used to be white."

"Your father painted in ten years ago. But your room is exactly the same."

She took him inside and showed him every other room of the house before opening the door to his old room. "Go ahead, honey. Go on in."

"No!" he said.

"What's wrong, Zack? You're okay. You're safe. This is your home and your room. It's okay, honey."

"No! I don't want to be locked in here alone!" he cried.

"What? Locked in? I would never lock you inside here or anywhere, Zack. Never!"

"But I've been good, Mommy! I haven't done anything wrong. Don't make me go in there...please!!"

She went in first and sat on his bed. "See? It's safe. Come on. Sit down by me."

He looked all around before taking a tentative first step inside. "See? The door is open and you're safe. Look over there. There are your toys."

It took him quite awhile to make his way over to them, but he eventually sat down and started removing them one at a time calling the name of each Transformer as though he'd never been gone.

"So how about I go make us some dinner? You must be hungry?"

As she stood up and took a step toward the door, Zack jumped and hollered, "Don't lock me in, Mommy! I'll be good. I promise!" He threw his arms around her and said, "I didn't do anything wrong. Please don't punish me."

She stood there and held him as he cried. "You're not going to be punished, sweetheart. Come on. Let's go to the kitchen, okay?" not knowing what else to do.

Zack grabbed her hand as they walked and Veronica said, "What would you like to eat?"

"Can I have Lucky Charms or Captain Crunch?"

She didn't have either of those, but she did have a box of cereal and that seemed to satisfy him at least temporarily.

It began getting dark and Zack kept looking outside. "Night time is coming," he said. "I remember night time." He turned to Veronica and said, "I don't want to be alone in the night time, Mommy."

"How do you mean, sweetheart?" she asked fearing what his response might be.

"I don't want to be locked in my room all by myself." He began to cry again and said, "I haven't done anything bad. I don't deserve to be punished. I want to sleep with you."

Veronica asked him to sit down and after taking his hand said, "Zack? Can Mommy explain some things to you?"

She spent the next several minutes trying to tell him how mothers didn't sleep with their children except when they were very little. Mothers sleep with their husbands.

"But Daddy doesn't live here anymore. You told me that, Mommy. So you don't sleep with your husband. You sleep all alone. Is Daddy punishing you?" he asked, his eyes still filled with tears.

"No, sweetheart. Daddy isn't punishing me. It's just that, well, with adults, it's different. Sometimes mommies and daddies stop loving each other." She could tell that scared him so she said, "But they never, ever stop loving their children. Do you understand, honey?"

"I think so," he said. "You don't sleep with Daddy because you don't love him, but you do still love me."

"Yes! That's exactly right. See how simple that is?" she said.

As they got ready for bed that evening Zack refused to back alone so Veronica brought him a pair of her husband's old pajamas he'd left and asked him to get ready for bed. "But I don't sleep in clothes," he told her.

"Oh, okay. Well, then you can go ahead and get undressed whenever you're ready. I'll just say goodnight and go get ready for bed myself."

"No! You can't leave me in here. I didn't do anything wrong. It's not fair!"

She put her hand on his shoulder and told him, "Zack. You have to sleep in your own room. You don't have to wear the pajamas, but you do have to sleep here in this bed."

He started crying again and within seconds it was uncontrollable. She sat him down on the bed as he wailed. "Mommy won't lock the door, okay? Just lay down and go to sleep. It'll be okay. I promise."

Zack cried and begged her to let him sleep with her. "I'll be good, Mommy! I promise. I don't want to be punished."

"Zack, you're NOT being punished. Grown children do not sleep with their mothers. Period."

"My new mommy isn't like you. SHE loved me! She held me until I went to sleep. She made me feel good. You don't love me. You hate me!"

Veronica had no idea what to do. All she could do was trust what the doctor had told her. "Be strong," she'd said.

"Zack, lay down and go to sleep right now." She watched him curl up into the fetal position as he fell over on his bed. His sobs grew louder and stronger and Veronica could hear him clearly even in her bedroom with the doors closed.

This continued unabated until after midnight when the sobbing turned into screaming and shrieks of utter anguish. Tuning it out the way she'd tuned out his crying as a baby was impossible and it was killing her knowing he was hurting so badly.

She threw off the covers and walked down the hall to Zack's bedroom where he was still curled up and heaving sobs. "Honey?" she said. He immediately sat up. "Listen. You can sleep in my room tonight..." He jumped up and ran to her and threw his arms around her. "But..." she said through his bear hug. "You cannot sleep in my bed. I have an air mattress I'll blow up for you and can sleep on the floor next to me. Is that okay?"

"I knew you loved me, Mommy. I knew it. I've been good. I didn't do any bad things," he said as he squeezed so hard she could barely breathe.

"Come on, sweetheart. Mommy will make your bed."

Initially, at least, this seemed to pacify him. She put a sheet on the blow-up mattress then put down a top sheet and a blanket. Zack laid down and said, "Goodnight, Mommy," and Veronica thought she'd found reasonable compromise. It wasn't ideal, but at least the screaming had stopped.

Less than thirty minutes later, she was drifting off to sleep when she sensed a presence. As she opened her eyes, she screamed as she saw Zack standing beside her. "I can't sleep by myself," he told her. "I can't sleep unless you make me feel good. My new mommy always made me feel good so I could go to sleep."

"Zack, I explained that to you, honey. Mommies don't sleep with their grown-up children. You're not a little boy anymore. Now please lay down—over there—and go to sleep."

She rolled over just as the screaming and the shrieking began again. "You don't love me! You hate me! I didn't do anything wrong and you're punishing me!" Then came the knife through her heart, "I hate you! I want my new mommy back. SHE loved me! You hate me so I hate you!"

Veronica laid there listening to him howl and scream for what seemed like hours. She turned over and looked at the clock on her nightstand and just twenty minutes had passed and the volume never decreased. There was nowhere else to go. She couldn't go to a motel, she couldn't take him to his father's house, she couldn't have him committed, and going to a different room wouldn't help.

"Zack?" she called over his screams.

"I HATE you!" he hollered as he kicked and thrashed his 'bed.'

Veronica sighed deeply and said, "Do you want to come sleep with Mommy?"

The noise stopped. "Really? Can I?" he asked his chest still heaving.

"Just for tonight, though. And you have to stay on your side of the bed."

In less than a second, he'd crawled over the top of her and was under the covers beside her. "I knew you loved me, Mommy. I knew it!"

He snuggled up right next to her and Veronica said, "Zack! That is NOT okay. You have to move over to your side of the bed or you can't sleep in here. Do you understand me?"

He pulled his arm back that he'd draped over her chest and turned his back to her. "You are mad at me! You don't want to make me feel good!" And then came the tears and the crying and the screaming.

It was 2:30am when Veronica thought she was losing her mind. The screaming and wailing had gone on without a break since she made him move over. She turned over on her side. She hesitated before doing it, but she put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Zack? Honey? Can you please stop crying? Please?"

He reached up and took her hand and pulled it over his body. "Thank you, Mommy! Thank you!" He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it over and over.

Veronica silently prayed this might work. Her arm was fully extended and now she couldn't sleep because her shoulder was in pain. She inched closer until the tension released and breathed a sigh of relief. "Now just be quiet, okay? Please?"

The moment she slid closer, Zack push himself back toward her. She was now essentially spooning with her own naked 18-year old son and had never felt so strange in her entire life. As she lay there; as Zack kissed her hand and stroked it, she felt something she hadn't felt since...since his father lived with her. At the same time, she felt sick to her stomach for even having such a feeling. "Maybe he'll just fall asleep," she said to herself. Veronica was exhausted and felt like she hadn't slept in days. Her eyes fell shut and just as she was drifting off, her brain told her something was very wrong.

Her arm was no longer across Zach's chest but across his waist. And his hand was no longer in hers. Instead, her fingers were wrapped around something that felt more like his wrist or his forearm or... "Oh, my God!" she shrieked pulling her hand back. "Zack! We talked about this. That is not allowed. Ever!"

"Mommy! Come back! Please! Make me feel good!" he begged her. He reached for her hand and she resisted but only for a moment. She felt as though she were outside her body watching someone else control her movements as she gave Zack her hand. Her brain fought hard to prevent him from placing it back where it had been, but there was a force deep inside her that made her stop fighting. "I'll just rest it there," she promised herself as her handsome son pressed his mommy's hand back where he wanted it. He forced her fingers open then wrapped them around it. When his body began to move, she told herself that as long as she kept her hand still, she wasn't actually participating. Her hand had to be somewhere and if this could stop the screaming...

She felt him slowly push himself up then return to where he was. Veronica also realized that her tiny fingers were wrapped around something very, very large. Something much larger than she'd ever felt before. It couldn't possibly do any harm to run her fingers up and down its length just to learn how big it actually was, could it? Before she could answer her own question, her fingers released their grip and the palm of her hand gently lowered itself all the way to the bottom of the long, hard object then proceeded to explore its length. Satisfied that she knew, she then felt compelled to know how thick it might be. This time she stroked it softly as she wrapped her fingers around it again verifying it was indeed much longer and much thicker than anything she'd ever held before.

As Zack's body moved, Veronica's hand moved in the opposite direction. As he pushed up, she softly pulled down. When he pulled back down, she gently lifted up. She felt her son push his bottom close against her and she pushed her legs in tight against his still unwilling to admit she was doing anything but trying to get him to fall asleep.

Even when he look her hand and placed it underneath the long, thick shaft in order to cradle whatever lay below, she refused to accept it was anything but innocent. A mother's love for her child. As she softly rolled the two very large objects in her hand, she heard Zack moan, "Thank you for making me feel good, Mommy."

The force...whatever it was...made her respond even though her brain told her to be silent. "You're welcome, honey," she told him as she began softly kissing his neck.

"I knew you still loved me, Mommy," he told her as she gently kissed him while pushing against the two very large, egg-like objects below the steel rod.

"I do love you, Zacky-Zack," she said using his childhood name. "Mommy does love her little boy."

Zack put her hand back on his rock-hard shaft and Veronica said, "Is this what my baby needs to go night-night?" She stroked him gently while continuing to kiss him softly.

"Can you please kiss it now, Mommy?" he said in a tone that bordered on a plea.

"You want me to kiss...this?" she asked as she gently shook it.

"Yes, Mommy. That's what makes me feel good."

"Oh, honey. I don't think that's such a good idea. Can't Mommy make you feel good like this?" she asked sweetly.

"Uh-uh!" he said loudly. "I want kisses!"

He rolled over on his back and pushed the covers off of them exposing his naked body to her in the dim light of the room. She didn't want to look, but the force had taken control of her and she couldn't stop it. As she gently stroked him, she looked down and saw what was the most enormous...the biggest...the most...beautiful...one of those she'd ever seen.

He slid his arm under her neck and began lifting her and rolling her over. "Zack. Honey. We really shouldn't..." She was now looking directly into his beautiful eyes. She stopped stroking him and put her hand on his face. "My beautiful, beautiful boy," she said. "I'm so glad you're home."

He pulled her toward him and she melted into his kiss as their lips met. In a moment, their tongues were dancing gleefully together, entangled in joyous touching. "Kiss me down there. Please, Mommy?" he begged her.

Zack pushed her toward his waiting shaft as she took it her hand. "Will this make you feel good, sweet boy?" she asked as she looked directly at it.

"Yes. It makes me feel good so I can go sleep," he said. "Please kiss it."

Veronica swept her long hair back over her ear and lowered herself onto his massive member. Zack groaned softly as she took him into her warm, wet mouth. She used her to hold him steady as she raised and lowered her head over and over. "Does that feel good, sweetie?" she asked as she went back down for more.