All Comments on 'On the Beach'

Chloe, I see you as a most competent and amazingly productive author.

But I'd prefer that you wrote more Strawberry or Take Out than write more of this one. You are spreading your writing output too thinly.

Lue

Please write the sequel, and soon. You are an up and coming (no pun intended) writer and I will be looking for your next submission.

That sex scene was hot. I agree that the tale seemed long, but the pages flew quickly. You definitely know how to write, but I dont need to tell you that. I liked this couple. You can feel the love between them. I did NOT like Nick. Between his condescending tone and his vague insults towards Pete, I half wished Pete would have punched him by the end of the story.

I would definitely like to see a sequel. I would want Pete to be more assertive and confident instead of being submissive towards Nick. I don't mind the threesomes and the sharing, I think that's what makes this story hot. I just want him to "man up" a little bit. I thought Barbie was perfect, keep her the same hot and loving wife.

From a frenchman who was quite enjoying it till you insulted my country and spoiled it. At least we're not all ass fuckers like the yanks!

" And you don't need to know shit about Bernie, we're voting for Trump honey, I already told you that. And you know, I told you not to watch CNN, they'll rot your brain, if you gotta watch anything, at least watch Fox,"- Fox News is to news, what military music is to music.

We can approve or not what happened, but being too long took out intensity to the story even if well written...My comment about this is: the title should have been: "Petey bunny and Honey bunny meet Nicky bunny"...Is only missing Bugs bunny...2*

First it will be a repeat of the threesome, then they will allow the chink hubby to watch, then he will become superfluous to the relationship. Oh, Nick won't marry her, he'll just fuck her until a new younger model comes along. Then he might throw what's left back to hubby. It won't be ex-hubby since he doesn't even have the balls to protect his wife from a stranger they met on vacation. A stranger who fucks around and might have given her a really nasty STD, the kind that kills her ovaries. No, the little chink hubby will be waiting with his limp dick in his hands, will take her back with open forgiving arms, and by that act finally kill the last drop of respect his wife used to have for him. He didn't respect their marriage, he doesn't respect his wife, and he obviously does not respect himself. How long will Barbie want to stay married to that useless timid shell of a man? If its not too late she will end up as wife and mother with a real man, some other man.

A really ugly story. Congratulations.

Don't listen to haters. Very hot story. Would love a sequel to this and the next chapter of Happy birthday.

Should include all different characters in totally different situations by a different author. That is the only way it can be better or worse... Because this is an atrocious unscoreable mess.

I don't know which character is the most contemptible, but none of them have the sense God gave a goose.

Please ignore the sick assholes who have dissed your story . . . it was great and I thank you for sharing it with us.

Ignore the idiot one bombers. Great story great sequel opportunity.

This has given me a great insight into the fantasies of a wife who loves her husband and I need to view it from that perspective, not my own. I am particularly grateful that you constantly involve and reassure the husband. That said, I could do without the lover taking control of the husband. There is no way to make that acceptable to a proud man. And the sex scenes are too drawn out, the effect being exactly the same as when a man tries to hold on too long. Still, these are just observations. You are one of the best writers on this site.

Good, bad, indifferent, critical, dissing, loving it. I really appreciate all your comments, even that 1* dissing. Love you all. Everyone who writes values their reader's reaction and you guys are just the best. I know this type of story isn't everyone's cup of coffee, but honestly, this story has more comments and ratings per view than any of my other stories. I'm not sure what that says but I'm happy with it. As for the story itself, yeah, way too long for Literotica. That comment about cutting to 4 pages is, in hindsight, totally correct. Woulda coulda shoulda. Next time. On the other hand, I like to write ... and write... and write... On the third hand, you get what you pay for. It's free :) ...... So enjoy until the next one ...... Chloe

I'm sorry but this "bunny" didn't think it made much sense.

Very difficult to make a 10 pager engaging. Long sex scenes can be a blessing and a curse. It adds a level of hotness to a story, but it also adds length that can take away from the main storyline.

However, any cuckold story that is above 3 stars is really a 4 star story. The BTB sycophants won't admit that, but everyone knows its true. Keep writing. Some of us don't judge a story simply because if its type. There are some who actually read it and judge it fairly. We don't have a preference. We just like good writing. The 1 bombers offset the score to prove that these stories don't belong here.

Sequel soon please. 5*'s

Chloe,

Well done! Well developed story line with hot sex scenes and building sexuality until the beach sex. You're developing nicely and your stories are always a page-turner. Can't wait for the follow-up to this story! But where is Isabelle? THAT is the next chapter we're waiting on!!!!!

At the end you finally admit that "Barbie" is into this more than Peter. She is a HOT WIFE. The story was long. The sex scenes were very erotic but there was a lot that could have been said using less words. Writers always say it would have been shorter but I ran out of time.

Lastly so she is a gun engineer. I like guns but so what. Second i almost stopped reading when you mentioned Trump. If that is your political proclivity, again, so what. It didn't make the story and it made Petey -Bunny more of a whimp. Is that what you were trying to write?

Good story and it was well written. I agree it was a bit long, but I know how it is when things are going right; the story seems to write itself. That’s how I wound up with my recent 5 pager. Really, this is a good story, AND it’s free! What do we want—egg in our beer? Can’t understand those who complained and I’m glad I don’t. I gave you a well deserves 5!

Désolé, lecteur type français, qui était juste une insulte générique, ne le prenez pas personnellement. Je vais prendre un coup de poignard à la prochaine Au lieu des Canadiens..... Chloe :(

Vraiment. VRAIMENT. Avez-vous jamais entendu parler de google translate oh personne ignorante et anonyme? Vos boutades font mes testicules non existants rétrécissent avec embarras. Passez un merveilleux week-end écrire des commentaires abusifs sur les forums de votre choix. Beaucoup d'amour ... oh, and by the way, you're now "Luther" in the not-yet submitted Chapter 6 of Chinese Takeout (the "Breakfast in the Ace Cafe" scene. Bad things happen to Luther after he calls Jay-Lin a gook slut. LOL. Round Out does not like this...poor Luther) ... Chloe

The ability to read will recognize that it was well presented, had a good flow and got the story told....eventually. Also, you seem to suffer from a chronic misuse of the word "too". As I recall, it is only in one case, so at least you're consistent. When added to the end of a sentence where the word is reflexive to the preceding verb infinitive, the correct spelling is "to", not "too", as was too often the case in your story. Not big enough to indict, but still, it colored the experience for me.

Thank you.

Oh yes it needs a follow-up. This was a awesome sexy story. I love the way she got fucked,slowly pulled into it but fucked good

I would be happy to read more, but maybe after more progress on Haley, Happy Birthday, and the others (except Strawberry, not a fan). Ignore the folks who think your stories are too long. That is one of my favorite things about them. And you are currently my favorite author here who is still posting regularly. So keep it up and know your work is very appreciated, we just want more sooner! :)

An excellent story, complete with several surprise twists. Scary to see how fast the plan and limits you think you have in place can get discarded in the heat of the moment.

Sadly, those who complain about the length seem to be unable to hold themselves off longer than the length of time it takes to read three Lit-length pages. Please ignore them. For those of us actually reading the story and appreciating the plot, the current length is appropriate and necessary for the development of the issues you are exploring. A sequel that explored how they handle the balancing of possibly reliving past pleasures in the context of the new job environment would be interesting. Can't see her going back to her old life, or leaving her dream job. Just how much of their vacation experience can they accommodate in the new setting?

Barbie Kiu. Wow. Didn't see that coming until the last page. Nice one!

Chidoc

You remain for me the best writer on this site. Loved the story.

well writen words created a vision in my mind, to which I clinged for so long as the story lasted.

Please, please, continue with this. Probably the best I've ever read! I haven't read your earlier works, but will do now. Thank you so much.

Great story part two would be great

Simply superb. It was a pleasure to read, and despite a few typos, expertly written. I am also curious, much like Barbie, as to why I find the fantasy of being watched while my wife and I have sex to be so alluring. It is a hot fantasy that I have never, and probably will never, pursue. I will need to spend some time with your other stories if this story is any indication of your ability to write erotica, they should be amazing. Keep writing, Chloe!

very nicely done - great writing and really enjoyed the lead-up and finish :)

I liked how you are very articulate and would really like to see a follow up to the story, there was some real depth some waffle but on the whole a great story.

I have a new favorite author.

A great story, yet again, and so enjoyable to read!

Barbie Kiu? I see what you did there. I love your writing, but for some reason this one bothered me. It seemed sort of dark. Or maybe I am afraid I could have become a sleaze like Nick, had I not found the right girl in a land far away and a time long ago.

Anyway, I just can't give it a five, unlike all the other stories you've written, so I'm not going to give it a four and drag it down. Your writing is great. The problem is me.

Keep writing, please. I read, a lot, and most writers create the cardboard equivalents of characters, even many famous ones. Yours are people I'd like to meet, (or not.) Thank you.

A great read after a two week holiday with no Internet. Very aroused. Please write a sequel

Working on a sequel to "On The Beach" now - it's called "After the Barbecue". Another two or three weeks to get it finished.

LOVED this story! Looking for the follow up 'after the barbeque'...please tell me there's a follow up!!

Half done. I'll try and finish it soon. Along with a couple of others including the next chapter of Happy Birthday to Me.

Want after the BBQ 5*

What a genius plot and amazing climax...I did too ;)

Hit me up when the next installment is out...avmisc@outlook

Ok........call ma a stick in the mud but i'd be alarmed if the ceo was him. It's one thing to be a one night knockoff but it's totally another situation if my wife was around him all the time.

And why didn't she tell him who the ceo was? All of this is a little perplexing to me cause I already know what's gonna happen.

We'll see..........4*

Oh, in real life I'd be VERY alarmed. VERY VERY. But hey, it's the story..... I've had about three different tries at the next chapter and I haven't been satisfied with the way they went. The start is great - Barbie and her new Mustang. But I keep getting stuck at the BBQ. Oh, well, another story or two first and I'm coming back to this for another try.

We want more! Really liked the way this one flows.

God yes! Please give us a sequel to ANOTHER sexy, hot, well written story!!

Well written (as always-- why are you messing around here and not writing novels?), but this story's ending just screamed to me of H.R. and future lawsuits. What happens when Nick tires of her and wants fresh meat? Is he going to want to keep an employee who knows way too much? What happens if a coworker catches on, and inquires about whether she's screwing her way to the top? The lack of probation could be damning, then. This whole thing could too easily end in misery and lawsuits (which are harder to get out of than swimsuits). Never screw where you work!

[But I love your Chinese protagonists, who have broken out of the cultural expectation of both the 鬼佬 (gwai lo) and the Chinese immigrant grandmother!]

Loved your story. Have not enjoyed like this for years

....where it is. What happens after the party is likely to be variations of what happened in the Cay and what follows would likely be an arrangement that deepens the entanglement where Nick is clearly in control. Would that also mean more partners for Barbara? Maybe, but the thrill of new discoveries to come is unlikely to be as intense if Nick is always the driver of where things go from here. Just my two cents.

This story took me to places I didn't expect to go to and loving it. I'm not actually sure about threesomes in real life, but you are so persuasive, so convincing!

So hot a story, you are a funny lady, and a very talented writer. Ignore the haters, those scrum bags are all over Lit. A sequel would be nice, I mean, we really need to know how the pool party went. 5 Stars from this avid Lit reader. Thank you for this one.

Hi Chloe

Really good story yes a follow on is required you have laid the ground work take your public where you want us to go but give us a twist in the story line please please

Thanks for all your efforts I am looking forward to all your sequels

I enjoyed it - the changes in thinking by the woman, the excitement of the woman from the first beach scene swimming/sunning/lotioning with Nick, the love of his wife by Peter, the oh-so subtle advancement on the wife by Nick (I've seen this done by others on my wife and she claims either it is my imagination or it is innocent (ha)), the willingness of Peter to allow the activities by Nick as he takes over his wife - all of this was well done. It is shown as a seduction by Nick, it can also be a recognition by both the woman and Peter that they like the excitement this brings. Sex doesn't have to be a zero-sum game. All parties can win even when societal rules are broken.

As to a sequel, you write beautifully and creatively. I'm sure you would do it justice. Still, I'm not sure it needs to be done if it stays strictly as Nick controlling the situation. If both wife and Peter find others together, perhaps aided by Nick behind the scenes, I personally would find that better than if Nick continues to control the kids.

Best wishes - again, your writing is beautiful and exciting.

Great story. Very well written. My cock stayed hard throughout. Can't wait for the sequel.

And the husband is headed down a slippery path. You beat this story to death and by the end you lost my attention with all the little junk you threw in. Get an editor and cut this thing down by at LEAST half. UGH!

This the first of your stories that I have read. People seem to believe you to be one of the best writers on LW. Your writing is good, if wordy, and very intelligent. I can't deal with the swinging and swapping, no matter how permitted. I acknowledge your ability, but your work isn't for me.

Thank you - and wow. I didn't realize my Loving Wives stories were that popular - really, I have 40+ stories on Literotica and only this and Happy Birthday are in Loving Wives. The rest are spread across First Time, Interracial, Sci-FI, Mature, Group Sex and Incest. I'd say dive into some of my other if you like my writing style but not this subject. There's quite a range there and you might find something you enjoy far more..... Chloe

Great read. Hoping for a next chapter

This is one of the best stories I've ever read here on Lit, it absolutely needs a sequel

A great story but could be edited and move faster so more readers would enjoy it. More focus on her exhibitionism to heighten the fulfillment of her deep desired. Keep Writing dear Lady.

I simply love your stories, but you seem to lack one flaw. It seems like all the main protagonist has no sense of moral values. I also noticed that all your stories are base on WMAF coupling, which is what I like, but not for the same reason as you if you know what I mean. I'm just glad this particular stories the husband sort of won.

P.s Why the wife is named Barbie? Lol.

What a great story! I’d certainly like to read that sequel you mentioned!

A great read.

Never had a thing for Asian women.................until now!

You do realize you are now doomed to those incessant fantasies of hot Asian girls, right? I can only recommend working your way through all my stories. You won’t be cured, but at least you’ll get your recommended daily dose of Asian Hotness.

Yes, it needs a sequel. An adventure on vacation is so much less than an ongoing exposure. How does a husband handle his wife working for this man? I’m sure you can explain how it will work, but as a husband I’d be very concerned.

You are a wonderful writer. Thanks for all your hard work. I just bought your Amazon book, but there is so much here... Thanks again.

Cheers,

Fred

You managed to turn him into a complete fool. Was he really THAT stupid?

1 star

. . . if it had ended when Pete and Barb left the island, and they never saw Nick again. Then it would have been just a hot encounter that might never be repeated. Instead, you set up Pete as a permanent cuck.

Of course, since he was a Bernie Sanders fan, he was already a cuck! That Barb not only was going to vote for Donald Trump but told Pete that he was going to do so as well said all that we needed to know about who really has the balls in that marriage. :)

He was an accountant and she not only worked on firearms engineering but worked on guns through school and as a hobby? Yeah, she’s got the testosterone in that family.

. . . before the 2016 election, before Trump saved the country from having Hillary Clinton as President. Who knew that would happen?

If you are a Trump fan, why don't you write rape stories?

Ohhhhh, wait for the next instalment where you find out about her Ford Mustang....

Statistically, cuckoldry is more a conservative kink. Going against family values is hotter when you've been brought up to cherish them, and having your wife fuck a black man is more transgressive if you're a racist. Similarly, nonconsent-based kinks skew leftward, because that's more transgressive there.

Honest. Look up why Paul Manafort, Trump's campaign manager, got divorced, and why Roger Stone (Trump advisor and media surrogate) lost his job as a GOP political consultant in the 90s. (Hint: the phrases "6 black men" and "obidient husband shares her cunt" [sic], respectively, feature prominently in the explanations.)

That's not to say that *all* conservatives are secretly cuckolds, because that's a relatively uncommon kink. But, if someone does secretly get off to the thought of a black man fucking their wife, odds are pretty good they wear a red hat.

Each story I read, gets better and better.

This one was truly magnificent.

I love D/s.

There are too many that don't understand it.

Few realize that it's everywhere.

Unfortunately , Shades of Gray added to the general confusion on the topic.

You both understand it, and incorporated it with world class eroticism.

Bravo!!!

Loved this story and your other stories. I hope you do write a sequel.

. .. . . I saved your beach picture!

Seriously, how naive *are* you?

@Chloe: not my favorite subject, indeed, one of my very least favorite categories, (which is why I hadn't read this story before now) but damn if you didn't make it hot. You're very good, ma'am. But you knew that, lol. I would've loved it if it turned out that she wouldn't sleep with anyone other than her "Petey bunny", and initially I was feeling really sick about how this previously fanatically devoted wife was willing to give herself to another man...but I kept reading, and the intensity of it all sucked me in. You haven't converted me, I still don't like cheating and cuckolding, even if it's consensual, but you have certainly surprised me.

I've never left a five star vote on a LW story that didn't subvert the tropes of the genre (ie, it's about a wife who actually, literally Loves her Husband, and only her husband) or didn't take the cheating and cuckolding and turn it into a happy ending for the jilted husband... damned if I can recall the author(s) I'm thinking of now, though. They're well known.

Anyway, never done that before, but I'm doing it here. Saints preserve us, lol.

Count me as another reader who doesn't much go for this category. AND I disagree with your politics. So this whole story should turn me off.

But wow. I just finished this after reading Hayley's Party. It's addictive! You are good at this!

Bravo!

Very good story - a 5 for sure. SEQUEL PLEASE

Barbie is a strong manipulative bitch, Pete a wannabe succubus cuckold. As it is, given the work relationship, both will be used by Nick as sex slaves. I don't see any redeeming outcome for this couple. Pls write a a sequel,

I thoroughly enjoyed this story and was dismayed that a sequel had not been submitted...yet...it's been five years...LOL...this particular story had a long runway which I took very slow, savoring the lead up to the payoff, and I wasn't disappointed. How you ended the story left me hard with wicked thoughts of how the BBQ concluded. I look forward to reading some of your other stories!!!

WACC drivel…

Thank you for such an amazing story.

Wow, so hot, this author writes great sex. My panties like Barbies are wet through.

Wow great storey, looking forward to the CEO barbecue. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very well done. I loved how you built the sexual tension during the threesome and your characters were wonderful.

All the build up of the sex with nick

This remains my favorite of Chloe's stories. It tells a simple yet evocative tail which, I think, epitomizes Choe's best writing. Chloe builds a scene with the best of them.

I loved it. Please Please Please do a sequel

One hot story, god it made me want to swap places with her. 5*

This is the second time I have read this story. It is one of my favorites. And yes, you do need another chapter to ths story, Please! And please do hurry with the next chapter of "Happy Birthday to Me".

Good hottie story

liked it very much, the sexual tension was excellent,,no chapter 6, too bad..

Not just another Barbie story, but love to read almost everything you've written, except the Squid Marine story.

But here's an idea> Promote a Barbie Lit Contest, to produce a series of literotic Barbie stories, since we are on the verge of a National Barbie Season.

2 Stars as I would never share my wife with anyone . My ex can have 5 guys on her and i would not care because i am no longer married to her . But to share my wife not happening .

Thanks for sharing...

I’m too narrow minded for this type of story, however it’s very well written 5* but I hated the plot. It’s a typical stereotype husband in a lopsided relationship with an entitled wife. It’s works in fiction but in reality belongs to the 95% devoice that category or lifestyle represents. Not to mention the the thoughts about his wife playing at work while trying to make a life. Sad.