Once Is Not Enough

"Yes. Sorry."

"And you?" I asked. "Do you want us to go back to the bedroom and you bareback me?"

"Would you let me? Will you let me? Oh, by the way. I was talking to Bruce Eaton the other day. You know who he is, don't you?"

"Yes, of course." He was a major MGM movie producer.

"He might be interested in screen testing you for a movie he's putting together. If I tell him you would be good for the part."

"Yes," I said. He was stroking my bare buttocks with his fingers. He ran his fingers over my hole a couple of times and I moaned. He sank a finger inside me and I groaned. We were going to do this. He was going to fuck me raw and I was going to lay there, open, vulnerable to him, and take his cum deep. I would do it to get a screen test for a movie. But I would also do it because Mori owned me now.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, you can bareback me. Whatever you want. Take me back to the bedroom and bareback me. Lay me out, fuck me raw, ride me hard."

He laughed. "Barebacking is not my fetish." He withdrew his finger and patted my buttocks.

I blushed having been caught by his tease, by his testing how far raw ambition would take me. No, I knew it wasn't his fetish. But his was equally as dangerous.

"So, this wasn't all it needs—the one time?" I asked.

"No. This is Hollywood, Billy. Once is never enough—not with Earl Stanley; not with me; not with many other powerful men in this town. Once isn't good enough if tge man with power wants you again—and if he doesn't, your future in this town is screwed anyway. It's good for you to absorb that lesson early. You still have time to go back to wherever you came from in Indiana and make a different, safer, life for yourself. If that's what you want—after you've seen the big screen."

At the door, where we said out good-byes, I asked the question that had been perplexing me. "I don't understand why, Mike. Why you've done all of this for me. Why you have pursued me. You could have any number of other young men."

"You have that aura about you, Billy," he said. "You are the type I want. And you will go with me, all the way to the end. I am as lost to you as you are to me. You are ambitious and malleable and you are mine. I am your end and you may be mine."

Somehow I didn't find that comforting.

"Will I have to fuck Eaton to get the movie screen test?"

"Yes. And, if he wants, again to be chosen for the part and then again to get a contract signed. It's the norm here."

"Is that why men fight to gain power in Hollywood?—to command easy sexual domination over others?"

"Yes, of course. Live in the moment. Live for present pleasure. There's no greater pleasure to be had than satisfying sex. Men in power demand it from you and you give it to become a man in power."

It was a hard reality to absorb. As I got into the taxi outside of Mike Mori's house, I knew, though, that I would be back here the next Saturday. I wanted to be in movies that bad. I knew what the gambles were and knew that I would take the risk. This was Hollywood. Live moment by moment. And, no, once is not enough.