One Way Love

The worst part of it was that going to the meeting was a part of my plan to get Terry talking to me. But Terry didn't even attend the meeting. He let his lawyer handle it. His lawyer claimed that Terry was too broken up by my betrayal to be able to face me. He just wanted to move on with his life. I felt like shit.

When I got home after the meeting, Terry was already in the garage. I could hear him cursing at several stuck bolts as he tried to take the car apart. Over the last few days, I had spoken to my dad about what Terry was doing. He was doing something called a "Resto mod" on a 1967 Mustang Fastback.

Apparently, my husband hated the look of the new 2015 Mustang, so he'd gone back, and found his dream Mustang and was making one to suit his purposes. He would keep the original body style but with a few tweaks and a bit of sculpting to modernize it. The car's suspension, engine, exhaust system, and interior components would be totally modernized. It would truly be a one-of-a-kind Mustang, built to Terry's specifications. My dad sounded as if he was jealous.

"Hey, Britney, this is a great opportunity for you," said my Dad. "This is a chance for the two of you to bond. You don't have to know about cars to take one apart. You can merely hand him wrenches and tools. Just dress up in a cute little outfit and go help him. This is a good chance for the two of you to talk your problems out."

I changed into some tight jean shorts that Terry loved seeing me in. I put on a top that my boobs could easily fall out of and headed for the garage.

I told myself that there was no need for me to be nervous. This was the man who loved me so much that he had asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. Sure we were having problems, but Terry was still the same guy.

As the door opened, I was sure he saw me. I saw a lot of emotions pass his face. I saw pain, anger and even traces of the love he always used to show. Then he turned away from me and went back to what he was doing.

"Do you need some help?" I asked quietly.

"No thank you," he said. The words sounded as if they were being torn from his throat. If he was feeling even the tiniest bit of the pain, I detected in his voice, and managed to express it in court, not only would he get his divorce, I would end up in jail.

I stood there for a long time after he continued working. I realized a lot of things then. I think that terrible moment of listening to the pain in my husband's voice was when I really grew up. I had been a spoiled little bitch, and I deserved what I was getting.

For me, life was a game. It was all about being pretty and having the things I wanted. For the early part of my life, my father and mother bought those things for me. After I got married Terry had taken over. And it became clear to me that our life together had been so much more real for Terry than it had ever been for me. It wasn't a game to him. He loved me so much more than he had ever been able to tell me.

His world had been shattered when I did what I'd done. I felt so badly about everything now. I would have given anything to take back what happened. I also realized that although I hadn't acted like it, I loved Terry far more than I thought. The concept of being without him in my life or of seeing him with someone else hurt me badly. But I had no one to blame except myself.

"Terry can we talk?" I asked.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said.

"Terry there's everything to talk about," I said. "When did you start drinking hard liquor?"

"When the pain started, I thought it might help," he said. "They didn't have anything at CVS that worked for having your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on by the person you love more than anything in the world."

His voice was so raw and so full of emotion that it hit me like a fist. "So I just came home and drank until I blacked out," he continued. "While I was unconscious, the pain went away."

I tried to change the subject. I couldn't take listening to how badly I had hurt a person who from the time we met had literally done anything he could to show me that he loved me. I felt like the worst kind of shit.

They always say that when you're afraid or in danger, it's best to attack. So I attacked. I acted like there was no doubt that Terry and I would be back together soon, and I was concerned about our future and our finances.

"So why did you spend so much of our money a car that won't be running for a long time?" I asked.

"Cause the whiskey ain't working, anymore," he sang. From the tone and the fake twang in his voice I could tell it was one of those hillbilly songs that he was so fond of. Those guys with names like Twitty, and Travis and Billy Ray Bob always sang about pickup trucks and getting their women back.

"Terry, I'm sorry," I said. For the first time in my life, I wanted to beg a person to forgive me for something I had done. I put my heart into the apology. "Terry, I made a mistake. It was stupid; I was totally wrong, and it was only a physical thing. I swear to you that nothing like that will ever happen again. Please forgive me."

For a long time, the room was so silent that you could hear the crickets chirping outside. Then Terry let out a sigh. "I forgive you Britney," he said.

I felt so much better that it was amazing. I smiled for the first time in days. I'm not sure anyone can understand the value of a smile, unless they've gone through hell. But it was as if my husband's simple statement of forgiveness had set me free from the darkest prison on Earth.

Although the sun was going down, the whole world seemed to be brighter. My world started to turn again. I got a little bit of my confidence back just from his words.

"Terry, please don't stay out here all night working on this thing," I said. "We haven't slept together in almost two weeks. Tonight especially, I'd like to have you in bed with me at a decent time."

He looked shocked. But I just waved at him as I closed the door. I danced all the way up the stairs. I showered and perfumed my body with a scent that Terry loved. I put on the sexiest night gown I had. Then I lay down on our bed to wait.

That was when I noticed it. I was tingling all over, and my pussy was especially warm. Just imagining Terry and me together again had me so wet down there that it rendered my shower useless. After a little bit longer a trickle of juice dripped down the crevice between my legs as I waited for Terry to come and take me.

Just imagining now gentle and loving he'd always been and would be that night had me drooling from both sets of lips. I drifted off to sleep still thinking about it.

When I awoke the next morning, I was confused. I ran through the house looking for Terry. He was nowhere to be found. I looked at the clock and realized that he'd probably gone to work.

I called his office and got his secretary, Christina. She sounded as if she didn't want to talk to me. She also sounded as if she didn't want him talking to me either.

"This is the business line, Britney," she said icily. "I keep telling you that you can't call this number for personal AFFAIRS."

"Oops, I did it again," I said. "But since I'm on the line, I wish that you would let me speak to him."

"So ... I'm a Genie in a bottle?" she said. "You want me to make your wish come true?"

"You drive me crazy," I said to her. "I just want to talk to my husband for a minute."

"What a girl wants," she began. "And what she can have isn't always the same thing."

"You're toxic," I said. "I'm gonna have Terry fire your ass."

"Beautiful," she said and then she hung up on me.

I tried calling Terry's cell phone, and he never answered it. So by the time he got home I was pissed. I wanted to know why he stayed in the garage working in that car for so long when I had clearly asked him not to. I also wanted to know why he didn't wake me up when he got done playing with his car. And finally I wondered why he went off to work without telling me or kissing me good-bye.

"Britney, surely you remember that car is all I have right now. If I'm not at work; I'm probably going to be working on it," he said. "As far as all the rest goes, did you forget that we're getting a divorce?"

"Nuh Unh!" she said. "You forgave me. That's over. I want you to fire Christina. She may be a fighter, but it's you and me, until the world ends."

"Britney, I forgave you because it was the right thing to do in order for both of us to move on. That doesn't mean that we 're not divorcing, or that we're back together."

"But why?" i whined. "If you just give us a chance, we'll be stronger."

"Britney, I could never trust you again," he said. "The kind of disregard and disrespect you've shown me, let me know that you've never loved me the way I love you. I think the divorce is the only way that either of us will be happy. We both deserve to be loved and to be with someone who's willing to put us first." I was shocked.

Without giving me another chance his forgiveness meant nothing. I was so pissed that I just turned around and went back upstairs to the bedroom. I knew that we needed to talk more, but at that moment, I had no idea what to say to him. I couldn't believe that he still wanted a divorce.

I was also a bit pissed because I had bared my heart and begged his forgiveness, and it just felt as if he had thrown my apology back in my face. No one had ever treated me that way. I spent the entire night crying over it. The next morning, I came up with a few things to say to him to convince him to give us another chance. I quickly jumped out of bed only to discover that he had left for work early again.

I knew that Christina would never put my call through, but Terry and I would definitely have a talk that evening when he got home. My anger at him sneaking off to work yet again, grew.

At nine in the morning, my lawyer called. He wanted to talk to me about the settlement. Apparently, Terry and his lawyer wanted the papers signed so we could push the divorce through even sooner. My lawyer told me that Terry was even more upset now than he was before. Obviously, me talking to him wasn't a good thing. I shouldn't have put any pressure on him. I only made things worse.

At ten o' clock, my mother called me in tears. It turned out that someone she knew from church had seen Terry going into his lawyer's office and had begun people to speculating on whether or not we were getting a divorce. I knew that if the reasons for the divorce got out, my reputation would be severely damaged. I needed a way to either stop the divorce or at least keep it quiet.

At ten o' clock, a delivery man left a package on my doorstep. I picked it up and opened it since it was addressed to me. Inside was a cheap cell phone and a piece of paper with a number on it. I called the number on the phone and was surprised when Fred answered.

He gave me an address. It was an auto service place. He told me to take my car in order to be serviced. I drove to the place, and as soon as they pulled my car in, the service guy pulled me into a room behind the counter.

Fred was there. "We're screwed," he said. "Your hubby is clearly not the forgiving type. He is systematically giving us what we gave each other." I just looked at him. At that moment, I hated Terry.

Terry was clearly not the guy I married. I just didn't understand why he wouldn't give me another chance. I think that at that moment, I was still seeing the world as if everyone was supposed to do exactly what I wanted them to do. I still hadn't figured out the fact that everyone in the world had feelings and rights, just as I did.

"I don't have time for your bullshit," I said. "Speak clearly and simply; no riddles, no metaphors. Just say what you mean."

As I spoke, I had the idea that the reason Terry wouldn't forgive me was that he had already found someone else. The reason that he didn't want to fuck me was because he was now fucking her. No wonder he was so unwilling to take me back."

"I know some things about your divorce," said Fred. "Your husband's lawyer is trying to get the case seen by Judge Crockett."

I had no idea what any of that meant.

"Judge Sonny Crockett," he said. "He used to be a vice cop in Miami. He fell in love with a local girl who was on vacation down there in Florida. He left the force, and they moved up here. He became a lawyer instead and was elected to the bench. A few years ago, he caught the bitch cheating on him. They were never divorced. He left the gate to the pen where they kept his pet alligator, Elvis, open. The gator got out and ... uh ... ate his wife. Crockett was found innocent of any wrong doing. He took a few years off work to get over his tragic loss..."

"So he still loved her, even after she cheated on him?" I asked. I was grasping at straws. I needed some evidence that there might be hope for me.

"Fuck no!" spat Fred. "He was mourning the loss of his pet, not the wife. They put the alligator down. You can't keep an animal that has killed a live human. Once they've had human blood it's crazy. They start acting like Vampires, who've tasted Sookie Stackhouse's fairy blood. They just can't get enough of it.

Anyway, ever since he's been back on the bench, he's been known to be extremely severe when dealing with cheating spouses. They usually end up with nothing. Or as close to nothing as he can arrange. Since you guys have only been married for five years. You might end up DDB. That's Dead Damned Broke. The bastard even has a little rubber alligator dangling from the end of his gavel. If we go to his court, we 're both up shit creek."

I looked at him seriously then. "What's in this for you?" I asked.

"Your hubby is still after me," he said. "He's named me in your divorce case as a contributing factor. He's also suing me for alienation of affection, actions contributing to the decline of a marriage, rendering great emotional stress and several other nuisance charges."

Fred looked at me, and I could tell he was dealing with both anger and fear. We were both pissed at Terry. My kind and gentle hubby loved me so much that he was trying to burn the world down with the embers of our dying marriage. I wish that he could see that he was what had killed it. I still loved him. In fact, I loved him more than ever. I had seen over the past two weeks what living without him was like, and I hated it.

"I think he even wants to get my brother fired," said Fred. "Your hubby is trying to scorch the earth. If I get this on my record, since you're a client, it would be very bad for me. I could lose my certification as a trainer. Then I would never be able to work anywhere, let alone in Michigan."

"I'm pissed at him too," I said. "I don't want to end up broke and homeless."

"I have a plan," he said. "But we have to move quickly. From what I understand your divorce hearing is going to be very soon."

"I'll do anything," I said. Even as I said it, I felt a chill go up my spine. "What are we going to do?"

"We have no choice," he said seriously. "It's us or him. We have to take him out. If we don't you'll end up being painted as the town whore and I'll go down the drain with you."

"And what do you mean take him out?" I asked.

"I'm going to arrange a little car accident for him," he said. "Nothing too bad. Probably a few broken bones. But he's going to need a lot of time to recover. That will delay the court case for a long time. During that time, you have to be his nurse and get back on his good side and get him to drop the divorce. He'll be totally dependent on you. You'll have a few months to convince him that you're really sorry and win him back. Can you handle it?"

"Oh yeah," I said. "I'm gonna get my man back. You take care of your part, and I'll take care of mine. Just don't fuck up. I need him hurt badly enough that he doesn't just let his fucking secretary take care of him."

"Don't worry about my part," he snapped. "I have a professional on my side. Just make sure you can win him back."

"I'll be sucking his dick three or four times a day until he can fuck me again," I said. "He'll be putty in my hands." He looked skeptical.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Your blowjobs kind of suck," he said.

Leaving the service station I pretended to look around my car to make sure it was fine. I had words with the owner of the station on the outside of the facility. I did that just in case Terry had a PI watching me. Fred told me that hiring a PI to get evidence was often done during a divorce.

That evening, I tried to talk to Terry again. I once more, made his favorite meal. This time I took it to him in the garage. I carried the plate out to him completely naked. He looked up to see me holding the plate. As he turned his face was only inches away from my naked pussy.

I stood with my legs apart holding the plate. "Which one would you rather eat?" I asked.

Terry didn't react the way I expected. I saw tears roll down his face, and he threw the wrench he was holding across the garage. It shattered one of the light fixtures. He started sobbing uncontrollably. In all of the time we had been together, Terry had always been a rock. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.

"I love you so much," he sobbed. "Why did you do this to us? Was it worth it?" He ran out of the garage. A few minutes later, I heard the sound of his Mustang driving off into the night.

Even during his outburst, the only thing I saw in his eyes was love. As angry as he'd gotten there was no way he would ever have hurt me. I burst out in tears myself. I was angry at myself for what I had just done. It was a terrible thing to tease a man who loved me that much and was only trying to find his way past what he felt for me.

Even the things he was doing to Fred were only revenge for what Fred, and I had done. I should have been flattered that someone loved me and valued me so highly that he would try to ruin someone else for taking me away from him.

Terry was wrong about that though. I had screwed up. I'd had sex with another man a few times. I was a victim of lust. I would never give in to that again. No one could ever take me from Terry. We belonged together.

His car drove back up just after midnight. I decided not to try to talk to him that night. I would let him have some space and some peace. I already put him through enough. Perhaps this wasn't something that we could fix alone. I decided to try to find a marriage counselor to help us through it. Maybe I could convince Terry to go.

I dreamed that night of going through counseling. I saw us arguing and screaming at each other. I saw us slowly drawing closer again. I saw us delaying the divorce and then suspending it. I saw months of us walking around on egg shells around each other. I saw me for the first time putting as much work in on our marriage as Terry had always done.

I saw us arguing and forgiving each other repeatedly. I saw furtive attempts just to touch each other. I saw tentative cuddling that made me so happy I wanted to burst. Eventually, I saw sex. It became more and more regular until one morning, I just knew that I was pregnant. Our baby brought a whole new commitment between us. However, I still saw uncertainty.

The uncertainty was on my part. I had to make sure that Terry never had any reason to mistrust me. In order to totally re-earn my husband, I had constantly to make sure he knew that there would never ever be another reason for him to question my love for him.

But it all backfired. Our son was ten years old in the dream. Terry and I were renewing our wedding vows, and Fred showed up at the ceremony. He had no idea who the ceremony was for. He came over to congratulate us both, but as soon as Terry saw him, he reacted...