All Comments on 'Our Epiphany, Our Mission'

You did a good job of showing the complications that can come from trying a solution like this. It seemed a little detached until "The "Agony" which brought out a lot of powerful emotions. The ending seemed rushed, and kind of like an afterthought.

All in all though, very well told.

Good story about "smart" people being stupid people. They had no problem going to every Tom, Dick, and Harry doctor to fix their physicalproblems but they were to dumb to seek proffesional help before the wife fucked the friend. Too bad Owen is infertile because you could have ended it by saying that Carl's son's father was really Owen.

Crappy ending(Actually a non-ending ending I guess.

This story was a very good effort but it needed more.

But you didn't finish it. Did she ever go back to her lovr? At least let us know.

well done nicely told, I also feel the ending was a little rushed.but good story

What you wrote was very good and I enjoyed it. But, you missed a huge opportunity and left a gaping hole.

To summarize my understanding: Just before the end of the story she told Owen that the sex with Carl was different, not better. Then, when pressed, she said it got to the point where she couldn't stop until he came back in the morning. She said that she was obsessed with continuing to have, it wasn't just sex but something much more gratifying, more. In the weeks that followed the initial weekend, she wasn't nearly as upset at not being physical with Owen as she was at not being able to do it with Carl. She went far beyond what she need to do to complete the Mission with Carl. Then, finally, she tells Owen she is obsessed with Carl and without Owen's help, perhaps even with it, she will be unable to avoid starting and continuing a long-term affair behind his back. She admits this only after Owen's coercion. She would not have told him if not for that. This implication is that her expectation, if not plan, was that she would eventually give in and start the long-term affair with his best friend behind his back and continue it as long as feeding the obsession didn't cure her or until she was caught, whichever was first.

Owen was insecure before she told him this. She has told him she loves him but she prefers Carl sexually - she can't helep herself. He must have lost whatever confidence he had remaining in the face of this admission. He has to feel betrayed at what she was prepared to do if he hadn't forced her into confession, and what she may do in any event. She feels tremendous guilt. Their relationship must be on the brink in the face of these pressures.

In the face of this explosive situation in an oxygen-rich environment, how do you resolve this? You skip ahead over 20 years. It's like telling the story of the colonies leading up to the Declaration of Independence and the next paragraph is: Thomas Jefferson became the third president in 1801. What happened? That we separated from GB is obvious in that small fact. But what happened is an inappropriate task to assign to our imagination. That they stayed together is obvious. But what happened and how is much of why we read.

It's a little upsetting to be built up to this conflagration and then completely ignore it. It's not bad enough to ruin the rest of the story, but not only are we left hanging, it may have enlightened us about the rest of the story as well.

mean something. On a scale of one to five, here goes nothing. You had an idea that was a six. The beginning was overloaded with too much detail, dragging it to down to a three. Your physical detail and emotional involvement was so good you soared to a nine. The ending was so fluff, short, and lacking in much needed info for the average reader that you plunged to a zero, but I’ll give it a one for good effort. Your over all average, let me see, six plus three plus nine plus one, rounded off, damn, you did reach five. I think with a little work, you could have reached a seven, is that possible? Keep up the good work, a possible future fan.

of this genre leaving out great chunks of the story and "leaving it to the readers' imaginations"

Luckily I did something I rarely do, I looked at the comments before reading the story, mainly because today I have a limited time for reading.

Many of the people who post about these stories use basically the same comment on every story upon which they comment.

rpsuch rarely comments on other authors' stories, and when he does it is always a balanced and thoughtful.

I'm glad I read his comment because it saves me wasting my time and getting annoyed by yet another "I'm sterile so please have my best friend fuck you so we can have a baby" story. Seems it also took the 'novel'??? turn of her preferring the friend. What a shame that's never been done before.

Thanks for the heads up rp!

As a cleverly written unresolved self cuckolding with complications I'm confused by the story and your intentions.

Seems harsh doesn't it but the reality is he did pimp out his wife to fuck no less than his best friend for a bastard baby - the reason was manipulated by the writer to be able to have him cuckold himself - the only thing he didn't have him more sickly do was watch - but it was done ever so subtly in the guise of a bastard baby (which anyone with half a brain knows could have been done another way even with his bestest buddies cum but without his cock in his wife)- Why?

So after the pimping - the arousals(hers) and jealousies(his) flare uncontroled - gee now we have a story depicting some reality but based on a goofy premise. Then to address and resolve all this does the writer/husband continue his pimping her out to satify her preferance of other cocks over her husbands? Does she cheat for 19 more years with his bestest buddy and others? 3somes? Does the husband divorce her but come back for his not a daughter's graduation? Do they seperate and work through it in an effort similar real life?

Nope - none of the above, but one might conclude that he agreed to let her have other cocks if he could watch - oh who knows what evil lurks in this writers keyboard cuz implications and voids aren't actions.

So, I'm still confused by what the writer wanted to happen here. To be clear I didn't like or think plausible the contortions(self cuckolding) taken to create the story line, nor hubbies final reactions and her now rampant desires and actions swept away unseen and unexplained.

Writer you do have abilities and your bio indicates you plan to deal with jealousies large and small but in what way? In a realistic lifelike manner or base counter human convention manner?

I can't speak for the others but my hope is that you are credible and entertaining in a fair and balanced manner. Arouse us with sensual erotica but only the sickly jaded prefer deep deviancy without fair consequence and or without sharing in a balanced way. Marital extends the complications, need for lifelike realities and resultant expectations for the semi-normal readers.

Come on in - try to know your audience - please entertain us in a sensual lifelike erotic way with fairness and respect or consequence. Awaiting your direction with some Regard and concern.

First of all readers, events like this do happen in real life, and the wife doesn't turn into a slut, and the marriage survives. Thankfully, we were spared the usual anal requests (why would a woman want anal when her vagina can enjoy sublime pleasure for hours?) This was very well written, and kudos for all the hard work and skill.

You left out the most important part of the story. How did she get over her obsession? What was the biological father's relationship with the family (I know he had a gag order but he was the husband's best friend)? How did Owen take the fact that he was second best sexually with his wife? Did she end up having an affair? Given his jealousy how did Owen trust her (just because she confessed did not mean that she would not stray).

Despite the above or because of your talent this was a powerful story. Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

I agree that you spent a lot of time on detail that didn't add to the story. The focus of the story, however, came across in the few paragraphs where the husband and the wife work out what happened. That was the heart of the story and you need to work on focusing on your core.

My problem with this whole kind of story, not yours in particular, is that it doesn't make sense. You aren't required to have an anonymous donor for in vitro - which she doesn't need anyway since she's fertile. You aren't required to use an anonymous donor for insemination. You aren't required to fuck to get inseminated. That's what makes no sense: he could have jacked off into a cup and they could have gotten her pregnant using a turkey baster or a spoon. The penis is just the delivery system and guys with 4 inch dicks get women pregnant all the time so it doesn't have to go in far.

I have not read the other comments, so forgive me if I am repeating what others have said.

This was a very well written depiction of the emotions surrounding this event. It held my attention from start to finish. I do however have two minor critiques. First, she and Carl getting together and having a baby was telegraphed and telegraphed big time. When you mentioned how much they looked alike I inwardly groaned because I knew what was coming. When the discussion about infertility began, I knew the how and the why.

Secondly, the ending was too abrupt. One minute she is obsessed with Carl and the next the daughter is graduating from college. A few sentences explaining how she overcame this obsession would have been enough to bridge that gap. That is assuming that you envisioned her overcoming it.

It was a good story and thank you for taking the time to write it and share it with us.

As a first time author, I hope all respondents will accept my thanks and appreciation for your comments on "Our Epiphany, Our Mission." My 100% rating is for your comments, not my story! I'll be thinking of your suggestions if and when I get around to trying my luck with a second submission.

Many of the comments touched on the abrupt ending. Here's what I was trying to imply ...

Barbara's appeal to Owen for help in overcoming her obsession was successful. His strength and compassion was the one element she needed to return to normalcy.

Now to the issue of who indeed was the biological father. Throughout the story I tried to emphasize the difference in physical appearance between Barbara/Carl (dark hair, eyes and complexion ... Barbara as a small woman) and Owen (tall, blue eyes, sandy hair, blue eyes). Please re-read the final description of Julia and the answer may come to you.

Regards to all.

An emtional story extremely well written. You were able to impart the raw emotions evident in the protagonists. I'm not sure that I agree with others concerning what they called "an abrupt" ending." Sometimes the readers imagination is called upon to "finish" a story. This is an impressive first attempt and I'm appreciative of your efforts. Thanks

A beautiful piece of fiction. Extremely well written and literate. In my opinion you've joined a very select group of very talented authors on this site. You have the ability to elicit the raw emotions of the characters in your story and impart those emotions vividly to the reader. I truly hope that there will be more pieces like this coming from you in the future. A sincere thank you for your talent and your efforts.

This is an erotic stories site. There was nothing erotic in this inept diatribe !

Did I say that it was long and boring ??

Doesn't seem that Episcopalians would be so poorly informed that conception can take years. It was 8 years for me and wife. Of course that was right before I was starting grad school and she was going to take a teaching job. She didn't.

Now, rpsuch's comments were exemplary.

Why use the overworked, "try to get knocked up by the 'best friend'?"

I enjoyed the couple's dialogue.

Maybe the theme of a pinch hitter for knocking up the wife is overworked. Maybe not. It is realistic, though. I know that from personal experience, and from second hand experience through a person I trust.

I was asked to consider helping out a couple whose husband's family is cursed with fertility problems. They hadn't yet tried for a baby, but the family history in conjunction with a common indicator for infertility (his tiny testicles) pushed them to consider me as a back up plan. Unfortunately, I've had an irreversible vasectomy, but I was honored to be asked. I'm sure they have arranged for another back up stud, as they recently announced they are trying for a child. (For the record, they and my wife and I are swinger friends. We get together once in a while for some fun.)

The other experience is through a friend's niece and her partner, who needed a stud. A cousin stepped in for that impregnation.

A cuckolded husband and a slut wife. A bastard child. Plain garbage.

Pretty sorry of slut wife and wimp, stupid, husband. Looking at the relatively high scores, gotta suspect the scores have somehow been "cooked."

Wouldn't they have achieved their goals if Carl had merely been a sperm donor in a cup? But Julie's description sounds like she is Owen's child. If she is, didn't they second guess themselves why they brought Carl into the mix?

TRASH

#cuck_shit

Nothing more than an extremely overrated cuck and whore story with a bastard child added on.

Nah...kick to the streets...find you another one...that ones not for you..not anymore

Coyote and Roadrunner ending. Great writing, a weak story, and a shaky ending.

Good story, but a dangerous solution to the problem. Ignore the critics. He was no cuckold.