All Comments on 'Paige & Lily'

Not too bad for first time, but might I make a few suggestions. 1. Don't jump right into it. There are a few who read here with their cock in hand and can't wait to get off, but most like it, at least a little, slower. Oh we want the sex too, we just want the process also. 2. Background. You mentioned this had already been in progress at the beginning, and later you mentioned Lily started it all by being a dom to Paige. How? Just like the buildup, most of us like to know how things got started. Did Lily seduce Paige into eating her first? Or did she start slowly with her fingers? Or did she forcefully slam a strapon into her? How did things start? 3. Context. Unless you meant this to be humorous, you need to make your conversations slightly different. "Eat my pussy bitch while Daddy fucks your slutty ass" is not a bad quote, but watch your timing so your characters don't become cartoon characters. 4. Just do your best. Some will complain about your grammar, spelling, and the story is nonsense. Newsflash to them: it's an erotica site, not War and Peace or Wuthering Heights. I, and most, will forgive the occassional misspell or lack of punctuation if the story is hot and it flows. Ditto for the unrealistic part. Of course it sounds like fiction, because it is. Your task is for it to sound just maybe plausible. If I can read it and say "this is unlikely, but just maybe maybe maybe it could happen", then you succeeded. So hopefully that helps. I think you got off to a good start and look forward to future stories.

The writing style and grammer were okay, but I didn't really like it.

Incest fiction is typically very much about the struggle of the characters between their attraction and their morality. The sexual desire gradually builds into a force which overwhelms the morality. The build-up makes the payoff more intense. That's why I enjoy incest stories.

Anal fiction is something I don't enjoy. I don't like thinking about fecal matter and the like. Ass to mouth is a very specific fetish and it would have been nice to a have a warning beforehand so I could avoid this story.

Basically, this story did not meet my expectations of an incest tale.

At Jedd11. Good advice. At ghostwind, this is a good start. It can be improved upon but it definitely have a bunch of good aspects to it. keep up the good work and I know that the next one will be even better.

I anxiously await at least two prequels and subsequent stories about the family. I'm dying to meet I mean read about Mom. lol

It may be good for a quick jerk off story, but there was no background as to how it all got started, so were s the story?

Anal may be some ones cup of tea but not mine and the ass to mouth thing is just nasty let alone not safe as shit has a lot of germs, even if you don't see the shit it's still there.

I stopped reading after that and skipped to the end to see how long the story is. One page. OK. That explains it.

To be honest, I didn't vote. Did not 1-bomb you, because I have no idea if the story is good or not. I just couldn't get going with a simplistic plot like that.

Great story! Total father-daughter incest fantasy. Like the post-taboo-breaking setting, rather novel for a stand alone story. Would love a sequel or prequel - please keep writing!

Relit our flame - becoming this inferno

Love it!!! I've no idea why people are so upset by ass to mouth in the story - this is fantasy fiction; no STDs or ass-bacteria in virtual fucking! Needs a prequel!

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[23.10.22]

Very Kawaii!

11/10!!!!!

[23.10.22]

Very Kawaii!

11/10!!!!!

Have you ever met a girl?