All Comments on 'Parallel Lives of Jim & Linda'

by arsawyer

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  • 132 Comments
RePhilRePhil7 months ago

5&FAV. Really good story and enjoyable characters. To bring your writing to the next level maybe consider getting an editor There were a lot of missing words and incorrect grammar. Thanks for writing and sharing with us

DrtywrdsmithDrtywrdsmith7 months ago

Nice course change, made a good story.

Carioca_ManCarioca_Man7 months ago

One of the best alternatives for continuing the GA story.

With a plot that held up, a cohesive plot and adequate pacing.

It shows a Jim, with a rigid backbone. With principles, courage and determination that a man must show, in the face of adversity.

A delusional, selfish, conniving and slutty Linda. Who gets her change, from the asshole himself, and still has the courage to try to get Jim to take her back.

The presence of the new woman in Jim's life, along with his interaction with Emma and Tommy, as well as Jim's connection with Jason and the participation of Jim and Maria's in-laws and Jim's parents, gave a more plausible reality.

The evolution of the characters and their outcomes made it a friendly read.

Linda's outcome confirms the empty woman, unconcerned with her own life, into someone who comes to her senses and regrets everything she did to herself and others.

Whether an editor would improve... I don't have the power to judge. Reading was possible for me, without any hassles or difficulties.

I gave it five stars and made this story one of my favorites.

But that's just my opinion.

numbnutz49numbnutz497 months ago

Excellent story but in my opinion it would have been off-the-charts if it used the events like February Sucked but took its own direction. With that said, the story was definitely enhanced by the three month affair Linda had with Marc Lavalliere.

Wavedave45Wavedave457 months ago

What happened to Dave? Dave's an absolute madman the past 2 Feb sux, I like it. I was hoping he'd do something crazy like crash a plane into Marcs place.

Busman19639Busman196397 months ago

One of the best endings for this story.

Joeyiluv69Joeyiluv697 months ago

Great story. I like the direction it took. It's got to be in the top 3 finishes for this GA story

BarryJames1952BarryJames19527 months ago

Great ending to the original. I would have enjoyed a Dee/Dave explosion and a Marc suffering, but that’s just me. 5 stars.

Oatmeal1969Oatmeal19697 months ago

Linda's parents were too important to the story and characters and deserved a better send off than "As Linda's parents had passed by then."

Didn't feel like a natural progression of the original story but it was enjoyable.

KiwihunterKiwihunter7 months ago

What a load of misogynistic rubbish. It was so far from George Anderson's story as to be unrecognisable. The fact that you had what was originally an intelligent Jim becoming an illogical happy clapper buggers belief. No intelligent man has an imaginary friend unless he is ready for the lunatic asylum.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

waaaaaaaay too long. Should have been2--3 chapters. Lost interest while reading page 3

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Thanks for sharing...

Bravo! Well thought through, a work to be proud of 5*

PowersworderPowersworder7 months ago

I enjoyed the parts with Linda, and seeing her life get flushed down the u-bend. She deserved some severe consequences for the way she betrayed and humiliated her husband.

-

Unfortunately, what ruined this story was Jim, and his simping over Maria.

He'd just got a promotion to a senior management position, and was now on a six-figure salary. So him falling for a middle-aged single mom was ridiculous, and completely underselling himself on the dating market. She was older than him, nearly 40, but won't sleep with him until he marries her? And he actually fell for that shit?

-

With hindsight, it made sense why Linda cheated on her husband. Jim clearly had no self-respect, so it was a reasonable assumption to believe he'd accept being cucked.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Awesome!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

The best revenge is living well. Thank you for a wonderful story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Excellent continuation from the original February Sucks. Not a BTB, nominal sex, at best, but a nicely written and enjoyable story. Thanks to the author!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

this was a pretty good story. But I'm sorry to say I automatically give -3* for being part of the story that wouldn't die. sorry.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

You need an editor. The second sentence of the intro had a mistake. As well as the third...

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Always best if the bitch gets done

EdgeOfSundownEdgeOfSundown7 months ago

Why is completely erasing somebody out of your life such a difficult concept to people? Believe me, you're own well being and self respect would be better off...

Monagamous_NowMonagamous_Now7 months ago

Enjoyable read. Thank you!

Cracker270Cracker2707 months ago

I enjoyed it very much. I admit I am a FS junkie but this one really cut the X. Thank you

Dittybopper6989Dittybopper69897 months ago

A good story, a bit long but still a good story.

Buster2UBuster2U7 months ago

10 Big Blazinf stars, for an epic story. Perfecr for the romance channel. Linda finally learned her lesson! Buster2U

Storm113Storm1137 months ago

I didn't feel like you got the characters right. If your going to continue someone else's work that's critical.

gatorhermitgatorhermit7 months ago
Interesting take … Lit should have a separate category for Feb Sucks spinoffs

Or Disney could spin off a couple of dozen movies. This spinoff is kind of an exaggeration - almost comic book. The good are really good and the bad are really bad. But it is entertaining and is about as different as a FS spinoff can be. As evil as this Linda was, it is a wonder that Marc didn’t sell her to a pimp.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percy7 months ago

Good job! Wish writers would stop re-hashing February Suck saga.

4

MigbirdMigbird7 months ago

Seriously, enough. Silly, inane tale.

hindsight2020hindsight20207 months ago

A little wordy. Probably could be trimmed a couple of pages. But a VERY nice ending fully supported by the developed characters.

5*

ejsathomeejsathome7 months ago

It had some decent moments, but it was quite a bit long-winded. Also many many grammatical and spelling errors that distracted from the story. It also got a little muddy at the end. Hard to follow. Nice try though. Much too long.

FaceForRadioFaceForRadio7 months ago

One of the more creative spins on FS. In most of the versions, Linda comes home thinking everything will be the same as it was and everything will forgive her. It was just one night! I liked that Linda shows her true colors this time. She is a bitch and acts like it through and through!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

This was a complete story unto itself that just accidently started from the original story. Much too long, turned the original wife into a despicable character (how does a mother abandon their children) and had Jim sailing off into the sunset from the get go.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good story, but it is laughable to think that ANY school in Louisiana would be way ahead of ANY school elsewhere 😁

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Nice work. Thought it was strange the kids never wanted mom or were part of the early process and it seemed like Dee and Dave were going to have a bigger part, but disappeared. Also, nothing happened to Marc? Still, it was a good story with a nice end.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Excellent, a completely new take on the original story.

servant111servant1117 months ago

Loved this add-on. I particularly enjoyed how you fully explored a facet that had frankly been ignored… ie having a Linda with a the full slut side that was core to the original GA tale be fully developed rather than be swept under the proverbial rug as with the other hundred or so add on versions. Nope this one fully explores a full on Linda as a slut who utterly surrenders to Mark abandons her family and lives as Mark’s slut eye candy for months. Further you fully flesh out Jim’s evolved story as a man who will not permit the Sociopathic Linda to abuse him and her children as used disposable diapers. Then you explore a viable life for Jim sans Linda with Marie as the center of a new and HEALTHY married life.

A total grand slam home run in this reader’s humble opinion…

5 well deserved stars!!!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

20 stars!! Linda should have gotten something that made her suffer horribly for years...

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Well, this one certainly went further than the vast majority of the February follow-ups previously posted. Length could have been adjusted by some sharp editing, without any loss of story arc. As well, a lot of simpler editing would address the grammar and sentence flow issues. For a LW submission, the life turnaround perspectives mirror the usual tropes, so no points for originality there. That said, it's the author's world, so readers can elect to like it or not rather than quibble over characters' behavior.

LT56linebackerLT56linebacker7 months ago

The asshole is still walking upright. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Good story, though. Only 4 stars. The Bear liked it.

The BEAR

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bc7 months ago

Agree with Anon there were a high number of edit problems that rose to the point of distraction. You really should have done this a stand-alone story with no connection to GA’s. My opinion, the major flaw in his story was he led readers down a prim rosed path with Linda the loving, devoted wife, the ripped the rug from under the reader. Hence, everyone wanted a shot at fixing it, sometimes not understanding what was broke. This story is well constructed and engaging, but since you assume “all” of GA’s story, your Linda is fundamentally different that GA’s at the start. That mistake is the same as his. Kudos for throwing in a few references to entitlement in attempt to demonstrate she was always flawed, but they were all anecdotal. There have only been a couple sequels that actually went back in his story to before the “night”. I wish I would have saved the title of the one that had them meeting/flirting at a mall before, but I didn’t. Again, with different characters and lead in, I would have given this one 5*. 4.1* overall.

WargamerWargamer7 months ago

I enjoyed the story, it was different. Thank you for telling it.

5/5

Taio9Taio97 months ago

Best Jim and Linda story written - loved it -5++++

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

'He' and 'Him', etc. got real old, real fast. I bailed, but am not saying I won't check it out some other time. Too brief a read to rate the story.

JPB

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good story line. It had real potential, but the length and wordiness dragged it down.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Couldn’t get through it. 8 pages that could have been handled in less than 2.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good story. You need someone to proofread. I suspect autocorrect was helping you in its own inimitable way. You know, it makes your story funny when it “fixes” your story, perhaps when you mean to spell truck, you accidentally type fruck and it helps you by removing the r. So when a female character at the rental counter asks your lead “Would you like to rent a fruck (fat fingered)” it becomes …….. You have more than a few. Leading to reader confusion and fiercely angry comments. Please fix before someone goes off the deep end.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Simply put - a nice story about a good man and the good woman he found...

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Get an editor. A good story littered with spelling, grammar, and diction issues, virtually every single paragraph.

BigBlueKatBigBlueKat7 months ago

I really liked the original premise of this sequel … following the separate live of Jim and Linda. 5*

WhoGivesAShitWhoGivesAShit7 months ago

It’s a good story, but Jim’s success seemed a bit too much, and the timing a little too convenient. I liked how his relationship with Maria developed, as well as how the children’s emotions, responses, and personal growth were handled. The length of time where the old house remained vacant seemed too wasteful for Jim’s character. Likewise, supremely entitled Linda would probably have forced a sale sooner to put her share in her pocket.

devtekdevtek7 months ago

Was interesting, until become a boring sermon about God and religion.

Sorry, not my cup of tea.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Nice story. I enjoyed it. One of the best about Jim and Linda.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Noooo, I don't think Jim would give a shit about what Linda got up to. The bitch abandoned her own children. If Jim loved his children he'd have very strong feelings about them being tossed onto the shit heap.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Linda called his hand and Jim turned over the friend card. Game over. 5 stars.

Schwanze1Schwanze17 months ago

Turned into a damn good story.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Very nice character development and most realistic treatment of the original story that I've read. It was pretty verbose and I skimmed through a lot, and there are numerous spelling and grammar mistakes, but overall I liked it.

Huedogg2Huedogg27 months ago

i couldn't and wouldn't ever consider her anything in my life (4)

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I suppose that US News and World Report doesn't make it too far South. If it had, you might be shocked and chagrined to find that the Northern state of Pennsylvania has 6 entrants on their 25 best places to live in the US. You began to get sloppy at the end, and was work to follow the narrative.

You should ask for a volunteer editor. Your story is enjoyable, but it's hard to catch your own mistakes.

Billy_Ray_BanBilly_Ray_Ban7 months ago

I enjoyed this. I thank you for writing it.

Grant_GlapsvidhrsonGrant_Glapsvidhrson7 months ago

I liked that so much more than I thought I would. 5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

With such a tenuous connection to February Sucks, there seems to be little reason to make it. There are so many other selections in the FS category, why force the comparison? You could have told the same story using any entitled local celebrity, such as a politician, entertainer, baseball player, etc., without invidious comparisons.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

One of the better followups to February Sucks. Good job.

likeboblikebob7 months ago

IMHO this is too drawn out with little emotion in it.

fireman527fireman5277 months ago
Excellent

I really enjoyed your version. Was not sure how you were going to spin your version, but found that it was a new and unique spin. Would rate it over 5 stars if possible.

EastCoaster1EastCoaster17 months ago

There have been so many stories in the FebSucks universe that it is sometimes hard to remember which outcomes have been written when reading a newer one.

I thought this one was at least a mostly new take on the outcomes, and the story itself probably could have been told as a standalone tale, unrelated to Mr. Anderson's amazing tale.

That said, this was a largely good read and an enjoyable story of what can happen when an over-entitled person meets a predator with no morals.

For Jim, revenge certainly became "living well".

I gave this story 5 stars for what I thought was a well-written work in LW.

Mac_LapuMac_Lapu7 months ago

4-star for that humongous effort to write this story.

This could have been another stand-alone story.

But i am glad you tried to make a alternate addendum on the aftermath of Jim and Linda's divorce.

I don't think I've ever read an alternate story that delve deeper into what happened after.

It was nice to read about some "what ifs".

Though I did think this was much too long and I did skim some paragraphs.

Sorry about that. But thank you @arsawyer for sharing this.

Ghostno21Ghostno217 months ago

Best follow up to George Andersons classic I have read well done.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

The only follow-up worth reading (and I've wasted my time reading a lot of them).

The story is good - if far from groundbreaking, and the characters and dialogues fine.

But the editing is atrocious.

Mike_0691Mike_06917 months ago

Elio Motors should have been this in the old GM plant, not the apparent scam it turned out to be. Jim's character was what men should strive for. Good read.

Thanks

WetheNorthWetheNorth7 months ago

Terrible writing spoiled a good story

mndhanson017mndhanson0177 months ago

I'm going to agree with WhoGivesAShit, though at the same time, I would have kept Maria away from the kids, to see if Linda could truly reconnect with them because that won't be possible, when the replacement is there. Of course, Emma and Tommy are going to veer to Maria, but she should back off a little to give them time to connect with Linda, otherwise Linda may have had some connection to Tommy, if given the chance.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I liked it, and how the story itself developed. I do agree that you need to find an editor. Between the spelling mistakes, and trying to figure out who was speaking it became a chore. I do like how far Linda fell during her 3 plus months with Marc, and how much Jim took control of his life with his new friends. This version showed how much of a self centered bitch Linda and her friends were. Between being pissed at "Dee for trying to knock her off being Marc's number one slut" to Jane doing the same thing to her, it became interesting how long she would stay with Marc. Like the conversation said, "she was the never say no girl when it came to sex". Granted she probably cost a lot of money in drugs to keep around. Like the one guy said when he took her home, "you lasted a long time with Marc". Mostly because she had her tubes tied and couldn't have any more kids (she couldn't get knocked up). Later on, her "new" husbands couldn't understand how her ex-husband had such a great rapport with her parents. It was their (her parents) grandchildren that Jim allowed them to keep in touch with. He pointed out that he had been a part of their lives for over the last 20 years too. The only reconciliation was that at the end they were both involved in their children's and grand children's lives. Jim married Maria, and stayed married to her, while Linda had four different husbands after Jim.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Needs an editor badly....but overall was an enjoyable continuation of the original

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I'll tolerate excessive typos in a short story, but I just can't do it for a story of this length. I don't like being critical of people that can do something that I can't, but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask the writers here to at least proof read their work before posting.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Did you even set this aside for a day and then come back and read it? There are so many missing words and wrong word choices that should have jumped out even to you if you had. There were also a lot of homonyms that you probably would need a beta reader or editor to catch. It turned a good story into a painful read.

-

The story was probably a bit long, but then you went into a super condensed epilogue and crammed way too much into the last page. I appreciate you trying to tie up all of the loose ends, but you ended up with a giant knot.

-

Overall, I had to rate this at 3*. It was better than a lot of the variations and more realistic than the original, but it had too many problems that prevented it from being a likable read.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Excellent story. I like the ones that allows the main characters to win in the end. You NEED an editor. Grammer, word choice, punctuation, made reading this awkward.

lAnatomistelAnatomiste7 months ago

In the name of the Great Green Arkelsiezure, NO MORE!

BSreaderBSreader7 months ago
It

Certainly was long but ok.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Pretty good story, but, my god, there were an absurd number of grammatical errors that really distracted from it. I can’t imagine ever attempting to read another one of your postings unless you clean it up.

muskyboymuskyboy7 months ago

Linda will always be unforgivable, no mercy, ever.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Stupid how deserved everything that happened to her

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

This was a SERE school exercise in punishment. Too long for no reason and you took the main characters actions to a cartoonish level of idiocracy.

Tomh1966Tomh19667 months ago

Should have been a standalone. Linda did not read as Linda from FS and was very cartoony in the first half. yes even much more than the unrealistic original.

You write well so keep writing. Dial back the cartoonishness from 11/10 to 8/10 and you have a rocking great story.

Your universe your rules but the court would have easily contacted Linda.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Sanctimonious bible thumping wimpy cuck story.

Why use a bonafide counsellor when you can use a priest skilled in citing bible quotes and public speaking, it's basically the same thing!

Oh you have ptsd 10 hail marys will do the job, oh you have low self esteem 15 praise jeebus will cure you of everything, oh you have lupus, send in your seed faith in cash form to the church and the priest will cure you in the name of jeebus.

So convoluting, so incredibly many mistakes. And the jist of it (or rather the jizz in the authors mouth) no retribution, no justice, no repercussions.

The only thing you DIDNT point out was that if she had gone to jeebus more often no malady would of come to the family.

Whenever i see your username i always think arse. It fits quite well. Wonder what's up yours.

GuyfromShadesGuyfromShades7 months ago

You turned this tragic mess into a great Love Story. Thanks for your writing.

des911des9117 months ago

I don't know anyone called Anonymous but s/he didn't give you much credit for this story.

For me, it is a creditable addition to the original story and you managed to create a good narrative that I found enjoyable - well written, nicely paced and with good characters.

Thank you for sharing

SlithyToveSlithyTove7 months ago

This was a pretty painful read, not only for the poor level of grammar, writing and editing, but it was like being beaten over the head repeatedly with an tire iron. (Linda: Bad. Jim: saint. Rinse, and repeat and repeat and repeat.) No tension, no drama, little character development, just some fairly sanctimonious sermonizing. Might have been vaguely palatable if it were a couple of pages long, but it decidedly wasn't. I get that George Anderson's amazing original story created a firestorm but this just feels like a scorched field. I've liked a number of your other stories and scored them high, but this one isn't your best work.

towgtowg7 months ago

Good story line. Could have been great. PLEASE, get an editor.

tralan69ertralan69er7 months ago

@Anonymous

RE: Sanctimonious bible thumping wimpy cuck story.

Only a henny housy anonymouse would leave a comment like you did. You poor insecure soul. You need help.

I am truly sorry about your luck. I hope it gets better for you.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Needs some more polish in the grammar department.

The karma heaped on her was excessive. Either punish her massively in one moment of passion or don’t non of this long drawn out cruelty shit.

oldmanbill69oldmanbill697 months ago

Good , different, telling of the original..

Chimo1961Chimo19617 months ago

One of the better treatments for this story.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJ7 months ago

Something different. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I don't know anybody called "des911" either. Not much different than "anonymous". February was one of the worst stories ever written and what makes it even worse so many authors tried to improve on it and failed miserably. Somebody actually called GA's story amazing. Really?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good story, thank you.

Only criticism is that while I don't think you need an editor per se, a proofreading or two would have been a big help. Spell check and autocomplete are not your friends, they will give you the wrong word, spelled correctly.

SplitGeode66SplitGeode667 months ago

Way too long, repetitive in places. Too boring. 3 stars.

Pinto931Pinto9317 months ago

Good story well written but you do need some proof readers for the mistakes.

someoneothersomeoneother7 months ago

I stopped reading the story when husband threw wife out of the house and then claimed abandonment. Husband cannot force spouse to leave the marital home. If he tried to force her out physically, he would be arrested and would face a restraining order that kept him out of the marital home. Nor can husband unilaterally take children to live in another state. Such stupidities are show stoppers because author has demonstrated that he has nothing worthwhile to contribute.

stillaonewomanmstillaonewomanm7 months ago

A lot of spelling errors (typing), grammar-the basics. If you clean those up you could make one hell of an author. But the concept got through. Good story.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Sorry, didn't much care for this one. 3* for trying to continue the dismal February trash story.

12
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