All Comments on 'Party Time'

Greetings Moondrift, You write the darndest stories. Generally people seem to like them although there is the odd outraged below of protest ... Generally I like them - I like the romance aspect. One thing I do NOT like is your clinical verbage. You are my age, and I don't speak or think that way. For example - in one story a couple (apparently in love) "copulated". Dear chap, animals "copulate", people in love "make love". Then you say that he "ejaculated through his urethra" - Nobody EVER says that. He came! He didn't "spill his seed", he "climaxed". Women (or at least those in my experience don't ever say "Fertise me" - what in God's name do you think they are, a plant pot! There are instances of this all through your stories and I am constantly at war in myself, accepting and liking the romance, and detesting the verbage!

And then there is your verbage as to what women say when they climax - ow oh ee ah ah oh it hurts too much, don't make I can't stand it, Oh God don't stop ... and so-on. The women I have known and know leap towards their orgasms joyfully, embracing them and the circumstances ... NOT with Ah oh ee it hurts, it's too much, don't make .... God, I think if hadn't had dinner tonight I would have puked!

And then there are the typos. You either have a very sloppy proof reader, or you are careless in proofing yourself and need a good proofreader. You also need to watch where you put your starting and ending quotes ... they are commonlymin the wrong places!

Your story about Pagan was a brilliant story You went to great trouble to establish the 'ground rules', to weave the story and to let it develop, and develop it did into a full and wonderful story! And then it got to the end, and by then you were bored with it and in 12 lines flat, you dropped it like a stone. Personally I felt huge regret - I would have loved to give it a twelve, but the ending, what a travesty! I personally wasn't able to mark it.

Then there was another story, the title of which escapes me for now (Paradise At Home), which so bad, so perfunctory that there are no 'lyrical waxings' from your fanbase who seem to think you can do little wrong. If this long critique says anything to you, leave the technical terms behind; talk of people as people and not barnyard animals to be copulated and injected with sperm through the urethra. Pardon me Moondrift; I have wanted to say this for some considerable time. I hope you listen. And please, sort out your endings .... you seem to be able to dispose of the average story in 4-5 lines, which include the couple having a baby, giving birth and living happily ever after, still bonking. So sad!

Best wishes, Michael (aka Fubarxx)

gave her no choice but to go and look for satisfaction somewhere else and so it should be when you are stuck in a thankless marriage....normally I do not like cheating fuck slut whores but here she was given good cause to go seek gratification with another man and.....as it turned out they were good for each other and had a child to prove it......love will win in the end.....

i dont think loving people have indiscriminate sex.

if byron is such a loving person he wouldnt have sex, let me rephrase it, casual sex with other women.