Pathways Ch. 13-14

Chapter 14 Doing the Deed

We were lying in bed, going over the afternoon and evening of our Thanksgiving family feast. I knew that it was time for me to bare my soul to Deb. Mother had laid it all out on the table this afternoon, but when I thought about it later, eventually someone would ask that very question. After all, Deb and I had known each other for almost five years. Sure, it wasn't a continuous five years, but I think we were close enough over that time that we could say we truly understood each other. I know I didn't have any doubts. There really wasn't any reason not to ask her to marry me, except the possibility that she might say no. I'd had that happen once before and I remember just how crushing it felt. I wasn't looking for another dose of that.

I knew without even thinking about it that I had to take the chance. I wanted her in my life. She was exactly the kind of woman I wanted. It wasn't just her obvious physical charms. She was so much more than an incredible body and a smiling face. Okay, so that was settled, now what? Do I buy the ring first, or after I ask her. No, buy it first. Don't make it look like you are unsure of yourself. But what kind of ring? Maybe a phone call to her mother would help me. I'm sure she'd keep a secret for a few days. She might even know her ring size.

So we get engaged, but when do we get married? It's October now, so maybe next summer? And what about the honeymoon? Where to? I'd better start saving my nickels. We can live in the duplex for a while without a problem, but sooner or later we're going to want to buy a house. Geez, there's a thousand things to think about. I need some advice. Who should I talk to? Deb, of course. It was a shared goal and I had to get used to the idea that she would participate in every decision ... certainly the big ones.

"Sweetheart, do you feel pressured by my mom into getting engaged?" I asked.

"A little bit. I think Mom and your mom ganged up on us tonight. I think they've both decided you and I are destined to be together."

"I think they're right," I said, pulling her close to me. "I think that is our destiny. I love you, Deb, and I want you to be my wife. I want you with me always."

She smiled and kissed me, making it last quite a long time. "I love you, Ian. I've been waiting for you to ask me. You must have known I'd say yes."

"I wasn't sure," I admitted. "But I knew, even before tonight, that I had to ask you. I had to take the chance."

"There was no chance involved. I was almost at the stage where I was going to ask you," she chuckled, lightly poking me in the chest.

"So, next Saturday, we can look for a ring and make it official?" I asked.

"It is official, my man. You've asked and I've said yes and that's final. But the ring will be nice, I'm sure."

"We have a lot to talk about," I said. "I mean, finances and planning the wedding and all that stuff."

"Not tonight, Lover. Tonight I want you to make love to me and celebrate our engagement. We don't have to go to work tomorrow, so don't rush. Let's take our time and make it last.

~*~

"Well, we have two grandmothers-in-waiting, Ian, and we aren't even married yet," Deb laughed as she hung up the phone.

She had called her mother first at John Holland's home to tell her the news of our engagement. I had a brief talk with her and John, but both of them welcomed the coming marriage. It was interesting that Sharon put John on the phone to both of us. I thought that was significant and Deb did as well.

My mother was even more delighted, aside from her predictable "it's about time" comment. Mom intended to post a notice in the papers announcing the engagement, but realized she would have to hold off until a wedding date was set. She was dizzy with excitement and was sure that her prompt the previous evening was the catalyst for my actions. For once, she was absolutely right and I thanked her for it. Dad was a bit more subdued, but still happy for me and sincerely welcomed Deb to the family. I would leave it to Mom to tell Kenny. I was sure I'd be hearing from him.

Mom phoned Sharon Cummings after she'd returned to Sechelt and between them they proposed a date for our wedding. Neither had discussed the matter with Deb or me, of course. Mother was busy searching out appropriate churches for availability and thankfully did not book any. We found out all this later of, of course. Deb and I were summoned to my parents' home for a confab and both of us suspected what the topic would be. We were right.

"I've made a list of churches in the area that have dates available in June of next year," Mom announced. Which do you think you would prefer?"

"Well, at least we were informed of our choices?" I said rather snappishly. I felt Deb's hand squeeze mine when she saw the look of shock on my mother's face.

"We were just trying to find a suitable place for your wedding, Ian. We aren't trying to interfere," she said rather defensively.

"I was hoping it would be more of a consultation, Mom. This is being presented to us as a done deal. I think Deb and I would like to discuss the when and where before we make any commitments."

I could see the look of surprise and consternation on my mother's face and it was Dad who intervened and cooled an awkward situation.

"You haven't been committed to anything, Ian," he said quietly. "I think it's a good idea for you and Deborah to talk it over and decide first of all, when you want to get married, and then, where. We aren't trying to force you into anything. Forgive your mother's enthusiasm. This is a big event in our lives and she only wants to let you know how supportive of you she is."

If anyone could put out the fires of hell, it would be my father. He was the coolest, most together man I'd ever known, and time and again he showed just how cool he was. Mom, on the other hand, was on the verge of tears.

"Please don't be upset, Sandra," Deb pleaded. "We're not angry. We want to talk about this first. It's the biggest step we've ever made in our lives and we want to be certain and confident we're doing the right thing."

My mother sniffed and nodded, her eyes now red and her face showing embarrassment.

It took a while before the mood in the house returned to something normal. Kenny was a big help when he turned up with Nancy in tow. That changed the atmosphere immediately and by meal time, Mother was back to her old self once more.

~*~

"That could have been a disaster," Deb said as we drove home. "But you were right. This was for us to decide and not just accept what our parents wanted. I know my mother was involved, so I'm sure there will be some discussion with your mother about tonight."

I nodded. "I was angry at first. It was like I was some little kid again and she had to organize my life because I couldn't do it for myself. I can't let her do that, no matter how much I love her."

"I know, and I'm proud of you for that. I suppose when the time comes that I do something like that, you'll be the first to tell me that I'm out of line," she grinned.

"You won't know until it happens," I said, not looking at her.

~*~

We had a terrific Christmas. Since Deb couldn't take any extra time off from her new job, we held it at Mom and Dad's home. We didn't get any argument from Sharon. She would be staying with John for the holidays and then the two of them were departing for Hawaii just before New Year's. I wondered when they would make it permanent, but neither Deb nor I was about to quiz them on it. One thing for certain, Sharon was very happy and comfortable in John's company. They made a very nice couple and looked married to anyone they might meet.

John had lost his wife at the very young age of thirty-six. He had been a bachelor for fifteen years, concentrating on his accounting business. He was a very much sought-after forensic accountant and had achieved a measure of fame, taking down a very skilled fraud artist who had scammed the government out of tens of millions of dollars on a phoney waste management scheme.

The arrest and conviction of the principals in the scheme resulted in the resignation of the cabinet minister responsible. Two mid-level bureaucrats were swept up in the aftermath for accepting bribes to push the scheme through. Some of the money was recovered, but much of it was lost with the suspicion that when the fraudster got out of prison, he would have a nice pension from his ill-gotten gains.

John was semi-retired now, having just turned fifty-five. He was handsome and fit and enjoyed several of the same things that Sharon did; namely golf and fishing. He introduced Sharon to many of his golf club friends and her winning personality and association with John bought her almost instant acceptance. This was a life she had never known and to both Deb and my surprise, she fitted in very well. We were waiting for two things: the announcement of their engagement, and the sale of the Sechelt home. John had a magnificent home in the British Properties.

There was something I hadn't done yet. I had never told Deb about my involvement with Bernie. It probably wasn't necessary because the chance of their meeting was remote, but I didn't want to have something in my past come up that I hadn't revealed to my future wife. I could almost see my mother mentioning her at some point and I'm sure Deb would want to know what the whole story was. We were lying in bed, not yet ready for sleep.

"I've never told you about the one other girl in my life," I began. I saw a look of surprise on Deb's face when I glanced at her.

"Go ahead," she said calmly.

I told her the whole story, from our kid days playing schoolyard ball all the way to our chance encounter in Guelph. I told her about losing contact with Bernie in grade ten. I confessed that our reuniting in Guelph made me think I was in love with her and would have married her, but she turned me away. It wasn't until Deb and I reconnected that I realized the difference between infatuation and love. I was trying to recreate a memory and it would never be as good or as fulfilling as the real thing. With Deborah, I had the real thing.

Throughout it all, Deb sat silently listening to me. I caught a look of worry now and then, but for the most part, she was expressionless as I said my piece. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. I anxiously waited for her reaction. It didn't come immediately. It was as if she was trying to make up her mind about something.

"You know I wasn't a virgin when we first met, don't you," she stated.

"Yes, you told me."

"And I was your first lover, wasn't I? The first person you had sex with?"

"Yes, you were," I confirmed.

"So, that never bothered you? That you weren't the first man I had sex with?"

"No. I expected you might have been more experienced than me. You're a very beautiful young woman and I can imagine dozens of guys who would want to be with you."

"Okay then, why are you worried about how I would feel about you having sex with Bernice? We weren't going together when it happened. We hadn't made any commitments to each other. I remember telling you not to fall in love with me just because I was your first lover."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Looks like I didn't take any notice of it," I grinned.

"Yeah. Looks like," she smiled back at me. "Do you still think of her?"

"Now and then. But not the way you might think. We're friends now, and that's all it will ever be. I found out what I wanted and needed. That was you. I had a lot of growing up to do and I probably still do. But I remember when I phoned you after I got back here from Guelph. I remember how I felt just hearing your voice. I knew I was going to stay in touch with you, if nothing else. When I found I could help you and your family, I never had a doubt in my mind that it was what I was going to do."

"So ... Ian ... are there any more secrets or confessions you'd like to make?" she said, rolling toward me and slipping her hand inside my briefs.

"No secrets. The only confession I have to make is that I love you, Deborah Cummings, and I will be the happiest guy on the planet the day we marry."

"I think I can live with that," she said, proceeding to prepare me for proof of how she felt about me.

~*~

We set the date of our wedding for June 28, 2003, at the United Church in North Vancouver. We were surprised that we were able to get a date in June since it was the most popular month for weddings. As it was, our services were scheduled for one o'clock and there was a three o'clock service to follow us. It turned out that the date my mother and Sharon had chosen before we had even announced our intention to marry was the day we chose. In addition, the church was one they had selected as suitable also. Looks like our mothers got their way after all. We just didn't make it easy for them.

There was nothing remarkable about our wedding that comes to mind now. I suspect that was because I was in a trance for the most part. My friends had taken me out for a bachelor's party the night before. My steadfast decision that I wouldn't drink too much went by the boards somewhere along the way and I woke up the morning of my wedding with a thunderous headache. Four Tylenol later I was feeling more civilized, but now my nerves were beginning to act up. This was a big event in my life. With luck, it would be the only one of its kind for me.

It was just as well that I was hung over that morning. It kept me from brooding over my past and my future. Was I sure Deb was "the one?" Was I still thinking of Bernie, even subconsciously? And what about fatherhood? Was I ready for that eventuality? These were the kinds of thoughts I had been wrestling with for the past week as the big event approached. Perhaps the human brain has a way of protecting guys like me from overthinking things. I was in love with Deb, of that I had no doubt. Bernie was a part of my past. A nice part, but she would never hold the place in my heart that Deb did.

I walked to the altar with brother Kenny, my best man for the occasion. He tried to keep me loose with the odd wisecrack, but it seemed like forever until the organist began to play the wedding march. I cast a look over my shoulder and saw Deb and knew right then I had made the right choice. Kenny turned with me to look and let out an audible "Wow!" Whomever she had consulted on the wedding dress had come up with the perfect setting for my bride. She looked spectacular in white, the dress coming to half-calf and fitting her body snuggly. There was no overt show of cleavage, but that was no surprise. It wasn't necessary anyway. The dress hid no secrets.

I watched as she walked up the aisle with John Holland in the role her late father would never have the pleasure of taking. She was insistent that it be John, despite his protestations to the contrary. Sharon supported Deb in this matter and that was the clincher. Both Deb and I were certain that Sharon would follow Deb into wedlock, and John would be the man. He was universally liked and anyone within viewing distance of the two together could see just how they felt about each other.

I came out of my trance just long enough to utter the appropriate "I do" at the appropriate time. Kenny passed me the wedding band at just the right time and I slipped it on her finger. I kissed Deb as the minister suggested, but it was a pretty lame effort considering just how I felt about her at that moment. I would make up for that later in a more private setting.

By the time I'd consumed my second glass of champagne I was feeling a lot better. Dad gave a speech that was littered with references to my misspent youth and sudden conversion to adulthood. It brought about some genuine laughs and yet I didn't feel embarrassed by anything he said. John gave the toast to the bride and deferred to Sharon to say a few words about Deb. She was obviously not used to speaking in public, but did a nice job of say how proud she was of her daughter and how pleased she was that she had chosen me for a husband. I felt really good about that and silently thanked her.

Kenny, my best man, was next and happily, he'd written out what he wanted to say or we'd still be there waiting for the punch line. Actually, he did a great job detailing just what a lousy older brother I was and how mean I was to him. But you could tell, reading between the lines, that it wasn't mean-spirited. As he said his piece, I could see him glancing over to Nancy Porter more than a couple of times. I wondered if she had helped him with this speech. If she did, I would thank her personally.

Bob Maxwell wanted to say a few words as well and when he did, he embarrassed me. He talked about me like I was the son he never had and how smart he was to hire me and promote me. He said how much he admired my parents and how like them I was, which was really nice to hear. He didn't pretend to know Deb very well, but said that the way I talked about her led him to believe we would have a long and happy life together. So, for a little embarrassment, I learned just how much he liked having me around.

Our honeymoon was brief. Deb had taken a couple of days of her recently earned vacation and I did as well, allowing us to spend them in Victoria, doing the sightseeing thing. It was my first trip to Vancouver Island, so it was all new to me. Deb had been to Victoria and further up the island a few times with her parents. We were blessed with great weather, not a guarantee in June. We stayed at the stately Empress Hotel and did all the usual tourist things, including taking a whale-watching trip. Unfortunately, no whales appeared that day. It really didn't matter. We were enjoying being together and having fun.

In November, we received an invitation from Bernice to a wedding; hers. She was engaged to a kinesiologist by the name of Grant Millman. She had acquired her physiotherapist certification and was working in the same clinic as her fiancé. The wedding was scheduled for Valentine's Day, just three months hence. I thought about it for a moment, but I wasn't keen on attending.

"I think we should give this a pass," I said that evening when I showed Deb the invitation.

"Why? Ian, she was your best friend. She was a big part of your early life. She's still your friend, isn't she?" Deb said forcefully.

I was surprised at her assertiveness. I didn't expect it.

"Yes, she's still my friend ... but that's all. It's a long way to go for a couple of hours, don't you think?" I tried.

"No ... not if it's someone important," she said, still adamant. "You wouldn't feel this way if it was Kenny or even Terry and Robin, would you?"

"No ... I guess not. So, you're say we should go then?" I said, looking at her determined face.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying. We can afford it and we should do it. Do you disagree?" she challenged.

"Uhh, well, no. I know better than that," I snorted.

~*~

"So, are you glad you went now?" Deb asked as we sat in the airport lounge, awaiting our flight to Vancouver.

"Yeah, I am. It was kind of a farewell to Bernie and my past, in a way. I think what surprised me was that I was happy for her. I liked Grant and I think they are nicely matched."

"I thought I might be jealous of Bernie ... being with you when you were in Guelph, but it didn't happen. I like her and I can see why you would be attracted to her. Not just her appearance, but what kind of person she is. I think we'll probably stay in touch and I can see becoming friends with them."

I smiled. "That's good to hear. I'd like that. You can't have too many friends."

"There are times when I think I've got all the friends I need. Especially when I'm with you," she said, leaning over the armrest and kissing me.

"That's also good to hear," I smiled, returning her kiss.