All Comments on 'Payback of Different Kind'

But no cigar. First, several missing words and a couple of grammar goofs -- see the 6th paragraph of the story -- threw me off your usually well paced writing. Second, the ending left me feeling like I stepped off a cliff. The build up to it was very good; I had no idea where you were leading us. But the ending just fell apart, after an interesting and different story. I have no idea for a better ending. It would need a lot of thought to come up with one. It is just the story deserved a better conclusion. <p> <p> <p> Keep us the good writing. You have come a long way!

I liked this story, which is a detour from most of your stories. You see, I really love most of your stories, but this one I only liked. The reasons? A couple, really. First, too much backstory on Stella, but not enough present story. We know she was the school nerd, then became the glamour queen, then somehow reverted. Unfortunately, we have no idea why she reverted or, for that matter, to what degree she reverted before her marriage dissolved. I understand and agree that the confrontation with the weeping and excuses is cliche, but it would've been nice to figure out a way to work that into the story somehow. By not doing so, you've left a major gap in the characterization that leave her all too one-dimensional.

Second, the same goes for Julie. Was she just a tramp? What was her marriage like? Though adultery is never justifiable, it is certainly explainable for the writer to the reader. Instead of trying to explore why Julie was a tramp, you just painted her as one, painted poor Jerry as the aggrieved party, and left it at that. By doing so, I think you missed an opportunity for our protagonist to find out more about what was going on--taking some time rather than just running from the sheets to the tavern--between Julie and Jerry, which would have also, perhaps, given us insight into not just Julie and Jerry, but into our knight in shining armor as well.

All told, the basic plot and theme are sound. I just think the whole thing needed to be fleshed out more. By merely painting the women as unscrupulous whores who spread their legs just because they want to and the men as the completely innocent, aggrieved parties, you have offered no insight into the characters. As a result, they all come accross as one-dimensional, interchangeable caricatures. Thus, Julie and Stella are interchangeable, as are Jerry and the protagonist.

I, for one, have long suffered the criticism that my stories are too long. Still, this would've been more powerful had some more attention been paid to the present motivations rather than the history of the characters.

In either event, please keep writing, because I immediately go to and devour all of your stories.

I even saw it "posted!" Unfortunately all I remember is that I liked the story as is for quick and emotional communication, but I did comment that I would really like to know what was going on in Stella's mind when she booked the encounter with another man. Certainly the lie was a good enough reason for declaring the marraige over and the make out session was window dressing. The idea that you have to do the dirty deed in a fully conscious manner in order to kill a marriage is absurd...

Great story as always, but I for one would like to see you finish it.

Good story. However, From reading up to this point, I believe that there is more to this story. If not, then there should be another chapter. RAG

How does Jack punishing Steve (Steve intentionally getting his own ass kicked by an irate husband, in effect Pearl Harboring himself) for something he didn't know about or have control over, have anything to do with Stella intentionally cheating on Steve and not receiving any retribution (ie punishment in Steve's words)? Goofy, hillbilly logic. I'll get myself hurt because I was hurt when I was involved in something similar?!?! Cut off my nose to spite my face?!?! Been at the moonshine again ain't ya author?

Um where is the Pay Back? anyone?

well you know me.. If there are massive plot holes and inconsistencies in the story I have this strong tendency of sinking it even though it's well written and this story is a perfect case of that.

By the time we finished the story the opening scene still makes no sense. Steve had no idea that this new woman he was hooking up with was Married. Yet for some reason it occurs to him ... "Hey I should tell the husband so he can kick by ass..."

It makes NO sense. Zero. and that has NO connection to what Stella did to him .

Steve's initial reaction when he runs into Stella IS rather well done. But there was a clue in the changes in Stella that Steve never saw. The fact that Stella twisted things around in college after they broke up is a dangerous sign. First even Stella conceded that Steve did nothing intentionally hurtful or wrong and that it was the internal workings of her own mind that caused her to blame Steve.

Then that she used this convoluted thinking to motivate herself into improving herself... Which is a good thing. But instead the Motivation warpped Stella into a vain self centered obnoxious person.

That sort of twisting of reality and motivation actually reveals s a pretty dangerous mindset and a character flaw. Steve found the new Stella to be unpleasant but he never considered what her actions and changes meant about her character.

Thus he was caught blindsided by the changes several years into the marriage. Maybe there is more to depth of Stella but since she is not really well developed as a character...

Never mind the minor grammatical errors, the readers knew what you were saying. I think this story could use a second chapter, as merely divorcing Stella seems a little light on payback.

Enjoyed most of it. The story build up was great, but then it just fell down at the end. We really don't know much about the female characters. Stella had two personalities that are never reconciled. We have no idea what really went on. Steve was not sensitive enough or cared enough before he caught her to sit her down and talk about what was going on with her. He had opportunities when Stella reverted to Queen and then said she was sorry. So what we really get is a husband and wife who are both one dimensional. When conflict occurs in a story, the author has the opportunity to bring out the dimensions of the people involved. This did not happen. The story was cut off when Steve took the action of divorce and never talked to Stella except to say we’re done, and also when he did not talk to Julie but instead went to find the husband. We had some action, but the conflict situations showed us nothing in depth about the people, just the surface.

but the ending feels wanting. I hope there is more. For the most part, I enjoy your pieces.

That was boring. You have written better. Write another one.

just that happened to me. got real angry. have a couple of friends so I can show up and disappoint both ladies ex and cheater girlfriend with almost every new conquest. so far a lot of fun guys and I really don't suffer.

Thanks for taking the time Woodmanone, and there's a lot I can adhere to, on both sides of the fence. May i just add it's great to have the polite, astute comments of Rehnquist(?) on board? Good man...Mancelt.

....First- Harry, you must have experienced or witnessed someone taking a sustainable hit or two for the good of the larger picture? (Think "Rope-a-dope.) Author, now I believe you just got a little scrambled telling a cautionary tale about the cost of "self-improvement".???

The change of Stella from a geek to a super girl requires some suspension of disbelief - but then doesn't all good fiction? We have seen good old 'Harry from Va' coming back with his incredibly bad comments. The board would have been better and the authors more fairly evaluated if he had kept his word and left this site. Unfortunately he did not, and his constant tearing down of authors leaves all of us without what could be some of their best work.

Well, not your best but agreeably not a bad one either.

The jest of the story was nice.(I couldnt find it more than nice) However a few anecdotes that have been repetedly used have taken the flavour off it.

Like I said before, it wasnt bad. And well, i guess i did notice the neutral ending, may be there is another part for a good ending in works? Hope so.

Pen On Mate.

-SpawnKing

Well written logical story. You have once again "done it right". SW MO Hermit.

Payback to yourself or to Jack because you told Jack his wife Julie was a cheating whore?

Stella had some serious character flaws he didn't recognize in the early days before they were married. That being said I thought the lead in to your story was laboriously long and took away from the story which should have concentrated on the marriage and the cheating.

So with that being said I thought there was missing info or more to the story at it's conclusion. Its ending was seriously lacking and left me wanting a better end.

I will look for your stories again with hope.

Thanks for writing

It seems like this story is unfinished, no closure. Good read nonetheless.

that's it??? dumbass!!!

Sneaky goddess Stella needed to have some payback. Just seeing her Ex with other women was no big deal. She wanted her cake and eat it too, she lied and sneaked around behind his back...I would have hoped that she ran into an adonis who demeaned her, treated her like dirt and made her do things she didn't like. She could only go back to being Queen Bee for so long and then age would begin to take over. No more young and easily affected admirers, just older, smarter cocksman who would know how to deal with her and use her...maybe even a pimp gets his hands on her.

weird comments. Life isn't perfect and neither are people, so why do these uneducated readers get into such a state? I enjoyed it so thank you woodmanone.

I've decided that if I come across another LW story where the husband just cuts and runs away, crying in self pity, I'll skip the rest of the tale.

Authors have to be more creative than having the male be a dunce or an arrogant basher, who in addition refuses to confront the woman. It's just to much lazy writing. Other commenters mention lack of character development in this story, and the husband, as almost always in LW, will not listen to any explanation. If the author is interested in exploring feelings and motives, I'll be right there.

norcla62, I'm a bit confused, here. You talk about a cowardly husband who runs away, but I didn't see one in this story. He confronted Stella and her boyfriend when he saw them. He told her, straight up, that they were done. A clear cut confrontation there. Sure, he didn't "discuss" it with her but, seriously, she lied to him to go out with this dickhead, she was making out with him, and it was obvious from her "Queen Stella attitude" over the last several weeks that it had been going on for awhile. She says she didn't sleep with the guy, but she's already been proven a liar. Why should he believe her? I just don't see how you think he was cowardly or running away.

Sure, there could have been more character development, there always can be more! Otherwise, a good story with a different kind of twist.

This story is well written, as always, but the characters, even Steve, just don't seem very likable to me. Of course, there isn't any sense in discussing Stella's likability but Steve seemed a little too laid back for his own good. Oh well, you can't win them all.

It is highly unlikely that an ass like Steve could have married such a pretty and desirable girl because he is too macho. They are often the kind of guys girls will have for a one night stand but seldom a relationship.

Steve couldn't tell her not to go home. It doesn't work that way. She would call the police and the police would tell him to get a few items and leave. The next day she would get a restraining order and he couldn't come close to her or the apartment.

Also, taking the guys DL was strong armed robbery--a felony. However, the story overlooks that and the fact that he would be arrested and put in jail.

Although a few complain about typos or similar, I though the story was well written and easy to read and understand.

Wow! This story is definitely NOT typical woodmanone material. He is known for his happy endings and admirable characters. I kept waiting for the twist that would make everything turn out all right and it never came! LOL

who gives a fuck why she cheated. why doesn't matter. and no one but you would spend all this time running behind a slut.

Good story.

I hate cheating wives.

All should contract aids.

Notice I didn't say die of aids.

HA

make sure you have a paddle, TK U MLJ LV NV

Good read. He didn't wait and see what was already too obvious. He got right to it and got rid of the lying cheating cunt. He has morals too, that's refreshing.

I actually loved this story. My favorite of yours. Very high quality, an interesting tale, and a great moral. This is not simply a "my wife cheated so I'm leaving" story. There is a much higher message than simply that of fidelity to ones marriage vows. This woman's problem was much deeper. I have a feeling that she didn't actually cheat by sleeping with the guy in the bar. However, she did lie and disrespect her husband. And more seriously, she choose to go back to her conceited ways. That is her sin. She sold her soul to vanity, and it was ultimately her demise. When he sees her in the bar after her divorce, she may well look happy fully ensconced in her sycophantic entourage. However, the reader knows the truth. She may be laughing on the outside, but is dying on the inside. At least, this is what I surmise. When she first reunited with her husband, she admitted that she had changed her life for him and was empty in it without him. The fundamental flaw of this story is that we will never know. Is she secretly miserable on the inside, having given up the one thing that gave her fulfillment? Again, this is what I suppose, based on what was previously written. But unfortunately she disappears from the story far too quickly, and Julie and Jake take center stage. Thus we are left wondering. Perhaps, the whole "your the missing piece of my life" story she spun was simply a ploy to get another thing she wanted. Maybe she never loved him and just got to the point where she missed her old life and was ready to go back to it. Then, when he sees her in the bar with her friends, she actually is happy and is in fact the real winner in this story (getting what she wants). Again, I don't think this is the authors intention. But, the storyline was dropped too quickly and we will never know.

I am impressed with how much you packed into this short story. Excellent work. Thanks.

My favorite line in the story:

"I didn't know if it had gone farther than a make out session or if she had been to bed with the guy, but it didn't make any difference. The first time she blatantly lied to me, the first time she passionately kissed this guy, the first time she snuck off to be with him, our marriage was over."

Beautifully written observation.

The story was well described had high emotion but the original cheating wife went into oblivion without explanation of her thinking especially about her marriage and eventual divorce. The core issue missing:" was she happy"? I feel this issue in particular was at the crucible of the plot and title theme of the story. The author may have missed an opportunity that could change this from 4 stars to a 5stars story

This story felt like two stories crammed into one - Stella's and Julie's. And neither one was finished.

He married her. He saw her kissing another man, he divorced her. Without ever really talking or listening to her since he decided NOTHING she said would matter.

Doesn't seem like much of a marriage if you can't talk to your spouse. Regardless of how angry you are. May have still divorced her, but not to talk? Gutless move. Okay story with a few holes. No way the guy gives him his wallet in a public place like that. He tries to take it and he goes to jail. With a felony assault on his record, he loses 90% of the assets in the divorce and it kills his career. Just couldn't believe that part.

I enjoyed it. A man with balls and morals.

The fact that the cheated-on husband didn't speak to his straying wife seems to have bothered several commenters but, really, what is there to talk about? Why bother? Wifey's behavior spoke volumes: she didn't respect her marriage or her husband, she lied and snuck around to meet other men, and if she was wasn't already fucking the new guy or guys, it was only a question of when. Seriously, what is there to say? What could she possibly say that would change what her behavior made crystal clear? What else does hubby need to know? Would he feel better knowing this was the first or forty-first? But wait....she is a proven liar and cheat. What ever she says is suspect and probably self-serving. Ignoring the cheater, not caring what she had to say for herself, showed her how little he thought of cheaters, including her. I think Woodmanone got it exactly right.

So glad Stella got away from this asshole.

Good till the end. Read it twice and still feels like the end is unfinished.

Not bad still.

Why would anyone want to stay with a woman like Stella, or a man if he were like Stella? It doesn't matter if she spread her legs and ended up with a crusty cunt full of another mans sperm. What matters is that she lied to her HUSBAND to go out with another man. Really, its just that simple.

Her next step, had she not been caught, would have been petting then finally getting her much anticipated crusty cunt full of cum. Remember, they agreed if they wanted someone else, they'd talk about it before and go their separate ways.

So I ask the naysayers once again, why would anyone wish to continue living with a cheating wife, not knowing if she was out cheating if she made an extra stop at another store?

"I'm to the right of John Wayne." It's understandable that any woman would cheat on a man, whose wardrobe consists of brown shirts and hobnailed jackboots.

Nope, didn't work for me.

This was well written. It held my interest. But then it just dropped. Too bad; I'd have liked to have heard more about Stella. Sure she turned out to be zirconium, but still there had to be reasons. I would have liked to have heard them. I would have liked to have seen the two of them start dating again also. Well that's just me, but I thought the girl had issues.I thought she'd picked the right guy, but somewhere she'd fallen off the emotional wagon. She had a story.

Read it again. I can't believe the balls of these worthless cheating cunts. Neither one got the proper consequences but at least the husbands are free from them.

Stupid whores

usually means your up some kind of creek. TK U MLJ LV NV

I can tell you why - pure narcissism. That is why most people cheat - the ego rush of being desired by a new person and the feeling of being smarter than your spouse by getting over on them and "cheating" them out of an honest relationship. Revenge? Why bother? Cheaters are losers. They are insecure, not too bright, and the only thing they have going for them is their looks or their money - most of the time. How does it feel to be nothing more than a fleshy doll for some other loser to masturbate into? Hence the term cum dumpster. In the case of a lot of male cheaters - how does it feel to be nothing more than a bank roll for a woman who is using you for a few bucks? Why do you need to do anything to these people for revenge? They are already fucked! They have to live with themselves and their shitty characters for the rest of their miserable lives! The best thing you can do if you meet a shithead is to get away from them as fast as possible. If you are married to one of them, they probably do lot's of other fucked up stuff beyond cheating. You are better off without them.

Not every story needs to end in blowing someone up. Not every story ends in reconciliation. But in this case two egotistical, narcissistic, self centered cheaters walked away from their actions with little or no repercussions. Which they had both earned and deserved. And while throwing people under the bus may seem petty, it can help in putting bad things behind. Both Julie and Stella needed to have their actions exposed to at least their family and friends. No sense in allowing them to think he or Jack were in anyway responsible for their divorces. That seems like common sense, but this is a fictional story. One other big hole. No way Stella's boy toy hands him his driver's license. And if he even touches him to try and take it, he goes to jail for a minimum of 1 year, pays a substantial fine (especially if his actions leads to pretty boys divorce - he would have sued) and does a lot of community service. I found that part to be implausible. Other then that it was well written. I just didn't like the conclusions you reached for the men involved.

my opinion only. The girls got what they deserved but it would be better to give them more exposure. The low score is not about your writing, I just do not like that kind of situation.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Given his distaste with the new Stella, she must have had to work hard to land him. Unfortunately, the reader didn't get to see That side of her. So her cheating and kicking him to the curb was no surprise. The only surprise is why he ever married her.

But it seems I had not left a comment.

Reading this, it felt like a JPB story. This is not an insult. I like his stories and his writing style. It was sort of a 'full circle' tale, but I am not sure we went the full 360 degrees.

Enjoyed it and I will need to read (or reread) more of your stories.

They were obviously not suited for each other, they both wanted to be the boss instead of partners

Well written.

I do agree this does have elements of JPB story in it !

However still a lretty good read though.

ForcmecI would like to See Stalla reconcile with her Ex husband and get him back with total faithfulness, passion, redemption, and humiliation on her part !

Thst would be a good sequel.

Perhaps Jack can have words with Stella to encourage her to pursue her ex husband.

I don't know what to say except keep doing what you've been doing. It's pretty cool.

what you pay for something is very different from the cost or value

He made the right decision,

for the right reason

5 Stars. Good story. No loose ends. Well done.

Only one loose end. Stella. After her first character change, she never produced a significant productive change. Still the same Stella. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

... sorry but I think it would have been better with a dose of BTB

rfm

I liked the story, as I do most of your work, but I'm still looking for some payback. Like previous comment, I like to see at least a little BTB.

In cases like this, btb!

Real payback is rare. There is no justice in divorce, just freedom. Sometimes, that is enough. Good story.

It's a WIMP story 1 star as always when the guy or guys let wifey go free...

...but like others have stated, no payback.. 4 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

He saw what she was like right off the bat. She was stringing Kyle along, using him as a servant. He saw her out dancing with other guys while they were dating. He picked her. He married her. It's like the scorpion and the frog. "Why?" "It's in my nature!"

On second read, it is about perfect .Steve is a good man.

I liked this one, and I know there were what seemed to be gaps in the narrative, but I think it actually fits the story. When you have a hero in the first person narrative, it's always better to hear that person's inner monologue and external experiences. It's when you start then narrating the story as some god-like figure looking down on all the characters and witnessing everything, that things can go tits-up.

If the MC doesn't witness something or be told about it in some way, how the hell would he know what happened to other people? So you either have to get around that in some way, or leave him in the dark. If he's blind to something, it's okay to choose to leave him that way and let the reader fill in their own expectations.

I liked it.

Thank you, sir!

I like different. 5*

Enjoyed

Okay, I've read it twice. Can somebody tell me just exactly how Linda got ANY sort of payback, regular or different?

not being a minor of grammar no comment. just this is jack story. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

He's a stand-up guy.

Rare that he didn't go nuclear, or break down or anything else... but not having kids and being able to walk away shows character. Truth be known, there would be a lot of breakups like this... most revenge is a fantasy, though i wish that were less true.

The way he handled Julie shows even more character.

One day his ex will be laying in bed wondering what happened. Whether the life of glamour and excitement outweighed the love, companionship, security and family she could have had.

At the same time, this guy will sleep easy every night.

Jack and he will probably never be friends, but Jack will think of him as one of the few good guys he's met... a man of honor.

Straight guy. Should be more like him in the world.

This one is so good that I have to add it to my favorites.

I enjoyed this but have to ask why Steve thought she would be content with an equal partnership after being the queen bee? Someone like her couldn't live without exerting her superiority over mere humans (men). He should done a little more than just the divorce just to get it through her head that she's really not that special.

Good story but I have to say that Steve obviously wasn't invested in the relationship. In real life if a man encountered his wife in this situation the red rage would have descended and he would have dragged his wife out of the booth and probably taken a swing at the man she was with.

Steve is portrayed acting much to calm and reasonable in the encounter with Stella and Jerry to be anywhere near real life.

I like when the guy stands up to the wayward wife...when he walked up to the booth... he should have also taken her rings off too...He stood his ground...but their are a lot of men who can't...to bad for them...the only let down here was...we never get to see how the wife feels and what she goes through when she's caught...after all...what she did...the lies...using them...gets here into the problem is now has...know what happens to her...is the rest of this story..............

The story was good untill the end...then it just died........

interesting but leaves lots of elements unresolved. Basically two stories weakly pasted together.

Yet another immature man-boy who just totally shuts down communication when shit goes bad. When you love someone, you at least listen a little. The outcome might well be the same, but at least you have more complete information to go on.

LOL

If the outcome is the same, then the net result is time wasted, not to mention allowing her catharsis by way of confession. Which, let’s get real, is what you’re really concerned with. Btw, when you love someone, your thoughts are centered around how they might feel about the actions you take, y’know empathy. If they’re really socially adept, they might even worry about how you’re perceived by others, and realize they aren’t in a narcissist vacuum by their lonesome… but he’s the asshole for not communicating about giant turd she just dropped on him, like she’s a little 2 year old too dumb to know that you don’t shit on people. Ridiculous.

Someone has already said EXACTLY what I think,

"The story was good until the end...then it just died......".

but unfortunately Lit refuses to put icon-buttons under each comment equivalent to the star-ratings, like the neighbourhood sites do- 2xThumbs down, 1x thumb-down, tick= noted, 1x thumb-up, 2x thumb-up which keeps a more accurate register of interest, as no repetition of comments is necessary!

..

It doesn’t matter if there’s penetration or not! She was engaged in dating behavior (flirting, going out, eating and drinking together, etc) with someone other than her husband. When a woman does that, she’s choosing that man over her husband. The marriage is over once she makes that choice. Divorce is just letting the State know that she broke the contract.

ZK

Good one! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great Story!!

"I wasn't into the revenge thing." - then you deserve what you get!

Needed more, wanted to see the MC move on and find happiness. Just felt like there should have been more.

An honest guy, with morals... good to know there still are some around, even in fiction.

A good story, well-written. It isn't a novel, it's a good short story that lets folks know sometimes the good guys win, even if they have to take a punch on the way

2 stars total.

3 stars for basic grade, +1 for two guys not being cucks; -2 stars for cheating bitches suffering absolutely no revenge *despite tags promising revenge*. Would have saved you a star if the tags were not misleading.

I like it. Subtle and understated. Sometimes the best revenge is just moving on without looking back.

Missing some payback on his wife and the guy she cheated with.

This story doesn’t make sense to me. Stella called him a thousand times when he moved out, desperate to stay married, but then just accepted the divorce and dove right back into single life. He couldn’t turn off his feelings for her, but she could turn off her feelings for him?