by PacoFear
Meeting. tease, seduction, slow build, hot, cataclysmic orgasm, release, resignation, repeat, resolve.
Perfect.
(I like hot and nasty and sweet and delicate....you have it all-in-one)
Very Good! You have a talent with description that easily puts your readers into the scene -and what a beautiful scene you paint! You have an eye for the right amount of detail. Your characters are also quite good, each with their own voice, spark and life. Sexually, this was quite steamy and very well delivered, quite erotic.
Now the bad stuff. Your teenager was bang on. Having once been a lesbian teen myself (now a gay adult of the blonde persuasion), you captured her essence to-a-T! Everything about her rang true -her words, her actions, everything. The only sticking point was Sam. Sam... You worked hard to sell her strong, sexy siren Alpha femme "Ice Queen" with a troubled past image, and you succeeded, mostly. But I didn't buy the D-Bag Boyfriend, not one bit. I could see a rebound fling for one bad night, but not three years or even 3 weeks. You painted Sam as a women who didn't suffer fools, so her dating said D-Bag rang completely false in every way (despite him being a throw away McGuffin/plot point). He really didn't serve any purpose beside annoy and make my BS meter go off, which REALLY threw me out of the story. If he was meant to be a road block, he failed. Again, he really didn't serve a purpose. Second, Sam's use of hard drugs. Point blank, for her character it didn't ring true or work, much like the D-Bag boyfriend. Alcoholism would have been a better and easier sell. Hard drugs aren't something you hide or just "give up" one day, let alone not destroy your life -there's no half-way. If things had gotten so bad for her I doubt (as a female exec. who works in international finance abroad) she'd have her job, let alone her health or be the women she is. In all, I get that your tried to paint a tragic past for Sam but you went overboard into the realms of disbelief and overkill with her. Indeed, her past really didn't serve much purpose at all. It added depth, yes, but... it didn't really do anything. It didn't add to the relationship or greatly impact the story. In fact, you could have left out the D-Bag boyfriend altogether and most of her past, including the drugs and you'd still have a great story. In fact, I think it would have been better. And lastly, your use of humor in a few of the more "erotic" and intense moments, ie. the changing room and "icky?", kinda killed the whole mood and rising tension you were trying to build there. Who wants Seinfeld in their porn? In all, very good, but it could have been better. But make no mistake, you are a very fine writer.
Whilst I'm neither lesbian nor female the quality of the writing kept my whole attention with its excellent charaterisations that gave a depth of meaning to the caste,just a beauty,thanks for a very good read John
If this is the kind of relationship two women can enjoy, I hope that I enter my next life as a female. This story transported me into a place I've never seen, never felt. Thank You from the bottom of my heart.
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Five Stars - more, but the system won't allow it!
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Thank you so very much, for a wonderful, wonderful story. I've had some beautiful feedback for my own offerings here, but honestly, I think this is about the best piece of erotica I've ever read. xx
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Wonderful loving! I can't wait to see more of these charming ladies.
It's hard to believe a man wrote this to use such detail and knowledge of females is uncanny it was by far the most erotic from a male perspective keep up the good word and good luck with the head thing, best cure keep writing
Really great story. Wonderful characters and the sex was terrific. Can't wait to share this with my "girlie'.
please make this a series. i want to see how they develope and love one another. extremely well written, you should be proud.
I don't like lesbian porn, never mind lesbian stories. In fact I clicked on this story by mistake having meant to open a different one.
Not fair! it's beautifully written and very very erotic. I love the way the seduction is slow, taking weeks before they even kiss. Well done, you're a really good writer. I think you might be good at proper commercial romance, I really do. That is, if you're not *already* a professional writer who just needs an outlet for the kind of story your publisher won't touch!
More power to your laptop (pun intended). I still don't like lesbian porn, but you are exceptionally good.
I loved the story, not for the sex, but the love. your characters try and achieve a level of caring, that lets the reader care to know more about them. Thanks
If you like the romantic tone and tender lez content of this one, I encourage you to peek back at my earlier "Strawberries & Bubblegum." S&B is the story of Heather and her previous girlfriend that I alluded to here in P&H regularly.
For cheekier, hetero fun involving Heather, Samantha and a shared boyfriend Hero, wade on in to my "Hero's Life" series - you can skip Ch. 00 (that was just some silliness).
I'm noodling over a 1st person POV Samantha story. Perhaps I'll be able to explain Sam's quirks to Anony Tokyo's satisfaction. Perhaps not. :-p
just fantastic! I've enjoyed all the stories in this series so far (stealing kisses is also great even though it's not connected). I'd love to read what happens next, the connection between this and the scene in hero's office - this obviously is running concurrently with hero's perspective of getting with heather, I think heather's perspective on getting hero and sam togather would make a great story. both between this scene and the office scene as well as how she got sam to leave danny. heather getting hero togather with stacey would also be great (post training heather's brother). whatever, just my thoughts. the stories are great, keep up the good work!
If anyone can tell me how to break paragraphs in the text fields for these comments, I'd love to post a bit of Samantha's POV story as a teaser. The bit is mostly dialogue so it makes zero sense without breaking the paragraphs.
Absolutely loved the way the story and action built. I can't believe how much you made me care about the characters in such a short story. I would love to see it continue!
Lou
Oh my god!!!!
you have to be one of the most skilled writers, i have ever had the pleasure of reading their work. amazing story! i adore heather and samantha....and i am starving for more....please!!!!!!!!
Amazing feel for your characters. Hot, classy, witty . . .this has it all. Spectacular job - by a guy, no less! lol
This is easily one of the best stories I have read on lit. The first one from you, I'm going to (probably quickly) read the rest of your stuff now!
I like you PacoFear, I really do. It is not everyday that one stumbles on good writing. And this is REALLY good stuff. I am an ardent reader, and I can safely say I know an excellent writer when I read one. Two thumbs up for you and I look forward to reading your other works too. You just made my day.
I really loved this. It stands out on Literotica for me, really captures the fantastic tension that makes lust and love so powerful.
Truly amazing, and so refreshing. The intensity and the depth of the story and its characters were just fantastic. I was left utterly speechless. Great work.
Please write more about samantha. I read the stories shes in over and over again. I really like the character you created. so please write more with her. thanks
I normally dont write comments, but wow, what a story. I really really really hope I can weave words togheter like you do one day.
Dear PacoFear,
What a sweet story, like peaches are, like honey is! It is also, as Heather sees Sam, a rich sweet, as it is tempered by the sadness both girls have experienced.
I'm a little bit grateful I'm not like Sam, and a little bit jealous, too. I didn't go the drug route after I lost my Julia, but, then, I didn't let her go, like both Heather and Sam were able to let go, or come to terms and move on. Maybe you have to reach all the way down to bottom to surface again? I hope not ... as I'm afraid I'd drown. But then again, am I drowning now by holding on?
*sigh* So I see the hope in your story. Both Heather and Sam have sadness in their past, but they are able to give themselves to each other, and so lovingly, too.
And, ... the hair technique? Hm ... I'll have to try that some day. I've used icy hands and icy kisses (my own story, "Prowling Panther," starred a very different Sam on fanfiction-dot-net), so thank you for that one, and thank you for the entire story: you shared the thoughts and feelings of the girls, going into detail so that I was riding right along with them, and it was a wonderful, sweet, easy, loving ride.
I like this story very, very much.
kisses, 'phfina
Howdy folks,
Thanks to your generous voting, "Peaches and Honey" was nominated for a 2009 Reader's Choice Award for Best Lesbian Story! If you want to contribute to their cause, Heather and Samantha would be especially grateful if you cast your vote for them here: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=728441.
Thanks again for your support!
-PacoFear
Not a genre I usually read, but thought I'd check this nominated story out in considering possible votes in the 11th Annual Literotica Awards. The result is five stars here and a vote in the contest to boot. Very well written, to say the least. Congrats on the nomination, and good luck.
I'm having a hard time thinking right now.. i just finished reading this and am probably going to be late for class because of it, but i couldn't help myself.
your writing is fantastic, i could see everything that was happening so well. I fell for your characters too, this is by far the most amazing story I have read.
you have left me in a daze and i'm searching for more of your writing.
Great Job!!
Absolutely beautiful I can't wait to see what 2011 will bring. I'm willing to bet you have a close friend who is a lesbian to coach you or else your imagination is 2 powerful lol. Great story :)
This story was amazing! The characters were so real and the story was so tantilizing! I started reading it way too late last night and didn't want to stop. However I did force myself to save the last half for tonight! And it did not disappoint me! It was beautifully written! I really enjoyed that the characters took there time with their desires for each other! Very real! Thank you, PacoFear!
this story was so hot and sexy I was masturbating to it and I CAME from just rubbing myself. Oh my god best. Orgy. Ever.
Seriously...I rarely leave feedback. Few stories merit the extra time, you know? But yours? Wow. Just wow. Excellent writing, excellent pacing, and just pretty damn hot all around. I think I'm going to have to add you as a favorite author to ensure that I don't miss out on your other stories!
I came likee twicee reading this. I even masturbated bcuz i wuz soo hot!
This is one of the best stories i have read. Please keep them coming. The slow build left me speech less...
So happy for you that it worked out how you wanted it to.
Would be nice to see a photo of you both as you seem so happy together.
Best wishes
Jojo
I couldn't stop reading it.. it's so sensual and honry but still very balanced. And no I actually haven't read any of your other stuff, I just randomly picked one off the top list.
That was so beautiful. The love and passion in it. It wasn't just about lust it was about happiness. This is by far the best I have read.
That was amazing. The love and passion felt for each other never ceased. Truly a great read.
This story is amazing. The intensity of each others' passion for one another is truly inspirational and heart-warming.
Echo the other comments. Rare writing when the emotion rings as true as the sex.
This was really well-written, really sexy story! Just what I was looking for. :D
By the end of this I was so wet. I still am. That was so sexy. I wish I were you Heather. You are so lucky. (;
oh man that turned me on big time! im shaking with excitement! wish i could meet a "sam" one day...
i saw this and i was curios and turns out its an amazing love story it reminds me of me and my girlfriend(:
comes to show loves in all shapes sizes genders and ages (:
This is such a moving and strong story! It actually took quite a while to get through it. Wish I lived this one
I loved it! I have my "Sam" but she lives in a different state so I only see her once or twice a year. Dang I miss her :(
This was a beautifully written story in every way. It was romantic, sexy, hot and humorous. It makes me want to explore another woman. I've never come across my Sam. I hope one day I do.
This was the most erotic story i have ever read. Please write a follow up.
This reminds me of my first experience with a girl.. Very nicely written and very HOT!!
I'm just figuring out that I'm bi sexual and this story totally convinced me I like girls more than guys :) it was really sexy but also romantically sweet. I love it :)
I automatically assumed a woman wrote this because I would've never assumed a man could write such a wonderful lesbian fantasy.
You are an erotica god. I just had the best orgasm from masturbating I have EVER had, reading this story. Infinite props.
This has to be the sweetest, most beautiful, healthy, healing love story EVER! I would have to write two whole seperate comments. One would be about how beautiful the story is and one about how hot the sex is! I'm dizzy. What day is it? Peaches and Honey should be required reading. I made my husband read it. He read it 4 times....outloud! He HATES to read. Instead of having a "birds n bees" talk with my son I'll just have him read this story. Perfection. Sometimes 5 stars arn't enough. Nobel peace prize winning material. Really.
Fantastic story and except for sam's "dark past" very believable. Usually don't read lesbian porn written by men, but you definitely got it right.
That was amazing i could perfectly see every detail of what you wrote in my mind like a movie this should be a book i loved the story line, the characters, and how you always explained everything perfectly but never put to much so into the detail that it is like a second story all about discribing the aspects of your characters/there past you are a writing god best story I have read on this website hands down I didnt know a man could write something like this in so much detail that it seems like a woman wrote it it was amazing I just cant find the words to discribe how much i loved this story i would have to write a world dictinary sized comment just to come close to discribing it
Peaches and Honey ch 01 is a tour-de-force in Literotica writing. It has all the elements that make for great romance literature, and indeed for story telling in general. The characters are compelling and well developed, the dialog is natural, the character-driven storyline is well defined, and the writing style is clear and straightforward. The story won the 2009 Readers Choice award in the Lesbian category.
This love story follows our two characters as they first meet and discover that they have a connection. The friendship develops innocently at first, with each character fulfilling something lacking in the other's life. As they pursue each other the author builds the sexual tension slowly and deliberately, tantalizing the reader with dialogue such as “be patient”, “not today”, and “very soon”. The eroticism starts in the first page of the story and builds to an extended climactic scene that leaves the characters and the reader breathless by the end of the story. Their final profession of love brought tears to my eyes.
PacoFear has written roughly two dozen stories with the same level of excellence. In addition to the Hero series and the Peaches stories, I recommend very highly the award winning novella Macallan Promises, which was both a Readers Choice as well as an Editors Choice.
This has too be, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best erotic stories I've ever read. Thank you very much for sharing this. I haven't read the next part yet but I am anticipating it greatly.
One of the most beautiful, real and erotic stories I've ever read on this or any website. Beautifully realized, romantic, sensuous and totally enthralling. I can't wait for more.
You writing is so perfect. That was erotic and maddeningly sensual. I could imagine myself there; being Peaches, being Honey. Yes, the comment below that you should write a book/anthology is an excellent idea. You write so much better than the author of that drivel, Shade of Grey.
I would absolutely love to know your secret with writing! How do you do it, what your inspiration? This story was 100% amazing and I'm sure everyone would love more parts.
Great! Loved how you tied both storylines together. I thought Straw and bubblegum was real good and then I read this wow!
You definitely have a knack for putting to paper what we readers (speaking for myself ) have not just something erotic, sensual, provocative and enjoyable to read, but can see a painting being brought to life. I read "Strawberries & Bubblegum" before this one and was PLEASANTLY surprised with another piece of Bubblegum to chew on. Guess i'll have to read all your writings to see if there are any new Strawberries to pick. Keep doing what you do and i'll keep reading for sure.
Started reading your stories and I can't stop... Strawberries and Bubblegum was awesome... And this topped it... Please keep writing... I'll keep reading...
That was the best story I have ever ever ever read in my whole entire life! It was so erotic yet so romantic! I loved how heather and Sam had their huge turn ons! They are such a cute couple and they are perfect for each other! It was so well written as well! I read strawberries and bubblegum and I thought that was wicked ! This left me speechless! You are and amazing writer and please please keep going with these stories!
A very nice story and really close to reality which is nice for a change!! Really enjoyed reading it!
This was honestly one of the best stories I've read. It's amazing! It really keeps you wanting more and more, and to not stop reading it. It really makes you connect to the character, and the detail is really good! Keep writing! I would definitely not mind more Peaches and Honey!
Well written erotica and quite romantic. Reader could see both characters develop as relationship grew, and sexual tensions blossomed. Sensual. !!!
Criticism first. I did spot several typos, including one or two where I couldn't puzzle out the meaning from context. Also, Danny either needs to go or at least be a little more sympathetic of a character. Someone called the Danny/Samantha combination unrealistic, and I disagree. The problem is not realism, but his lack of relevance. He serves to confuse Heather for about, oh, three seconds or so, and Sam obviously feels no guilt in cheating. He needs to matter more.
Your writing was exceptional. Great pacing, description and (other than Danny) characters. Very hot sex scenes. Some of the best I've read. I would buy your books.
It's entirely true that I left Danny as a vacant spot in this series and I had mixed feelings about that right from the get go. In fact, if you ever read Peaches and Honey Ch. 02, you'll see I poked fun at myself a little bit on this subject. At one point as Danny walks out the door, Heather makes a fourth-wall kind of comment: "Wow, it's like he's not even a real person." To be honest, I didn't know what to do with Danny and I didn't know if it really mattered, so I did nothing. Still, it always made me a little queasy. You're the first person to call me on it. Curse you and your darned perceptive reading, Fel. :p
I didn't know it was this hot ! Man this is amazing . The sex is off the charts . Wow !
this story had me from the begining all the way to the end just reading about the true meaning of total love this story has it all the perfect two woman and all the fun and pleasure needed for there relationship to move them into a better and more satisfied relationship that works.(peaches and honey). Please write more about them.
Stifflikn656
I've yet to read chapter 2, but if it's as well done as this than I hope you have 100 more in store. Very good story, nice build up and you really feel for the characters.
what a captivating story. gotta read ch 2. very well written story with wonderful characters.( all but danny) I agree with the comments on the lack of danny.
but the two girls are amazing, crazy and such free spirits with such love for each other. quite a beautiful thing to see them blossom. I hope you keep gifting us with more of your incredible creative writing. thank you...
This was a great great great story!!! Also the best I have ever read. Took me a while to read but very much worth it. Even mentioned it to a friend. She loves it!!
I like the way that new stuff is introduced in this story. First thing I have read from this author.
I usually read Lez stories written by guys but this was awesome. Can't wait to read the next chapter.