All Comments on 'Photographic Interlude'

Marvelous tittilation and suspense.

Riveting writing style.

Will look for more stories with this approach.

I enjoyed the story, but the bit about taking the wrong path at the fork in the road is a red herring. Doesn't the guy know how to get to his own place by now? Then when he says he got lucky to have taken the second fork in the road properly is a lark. I liked it, the school gym scene is hot, but "I was lucky to find her" seems false to the story now.

An uplifting LW story for a change. Keep it up!

Well managed suspense until the very end - the final sentences were a bit awkward but the message came through just fine -

Well put together again - you do this well -

I liked it a lot..

Fantastic build, surprise ending. Great writing skills as I've come to expect from you. Were they married at the graduation?

and there are a lot of them. The simple plot twist is a perfect ending to a simple, unpretentious and realistic tale...

It would have been a 5-star story but for the fact that this is, at best a second draft, not a finished story. clean it up with the help of a literate editor and you have an excellent effort, equal on all levels to your obvious skill and imagination as an author.

Turkey (turkey)

moved a (bit) farther

very very short denim micro skirt (micro-skirt) (4) (DOESN’T THE TERM MICRO-SKIRT IMPLY IT IS VERY, VERY SHORT????)

wearing a denim sleeveless shirt with small white lace around the arm holes . . . denim shirt with white lace (armholes) (WAS IT REALLY DENIM WITH WHITE LACE OR ARE YOU JUST SAYING THAT - TWICE????) (REDUNDANT SERVES NO REAL PURPOSE!!!!)

patch of lacy (lace)

strip tease (striptease) (2)

though sent me (thought)

cuming (cumming)

some place (someplace)

G spot (G-spot)

tongue attached her clit (attacked) (2)

my tongue attached her hard clit . . . my tongue attached her clit (DID HIS TONGUE REALLY ‘ATTACH’ HER CLIT - TWICE????) (BORING, LAZY WRITING!!!!)

three pronged (three-pronged)

could have cared less (couldn’t) (AS EXPRESSED WHY DIDN’T SHE CARE LESS

WTF is wrong with you annony? 5 just to help your score and maybe tell this asshole teacher, no I mean NO ONE cares about these mistakes but you annony fool!!!

Well, evidence shows that some people care about how polished a story is (at least two reviewing this story), and you don't have to be a teacher for that to matter.

For me, spelling errors and clumsy wordings ruin the immersion, something I consider very important when reading erotica like any other kind of literature.

I liked the story, once again proving they don't need to be chock full of sex, just sexiness, to keep me reading. The details were well done. The twist ending was cute, but didn't match up with bits of the plot (another reviewer has harangued you enough on that).

I don't get too lit up about punctuation like hyphens and solid words and apostrophes. (We'd have to blow up most of Literotica on that basis.) But "attaching the clit" was obviously not what you meant. Attacking is the word.

Please keep writing. I like your stuff.

Great story!!! Thank you. I saw one very critical post that drilled down on missing hypens etc.

While the grammar and style points are valid if this story is being published by Simon & Schuster. for a volunteer story, I am very appreciative.

I will enjoy reading your other stories.

A YYZ Reader

Not much to it.

Hello, one of your better ones, tight plot, good ending.....

Fun, suspenseful, sexy, great storyline, and greater ending!! Thank you.