Physical Therapy

"But don't worry Ken. Some day when they figure it out they will blame you for that also." Karen laughed as she walked away.

Julie didn't come to court nor did her mother and the judge accepted the divorce as written.

"Son, I don't know what you did, but these woman wanted you out of their lives in the worst way." The judge said. Like that was supposed to make me feel any better.

The next few months were painful. I stared into empty rooms remembering her smile and laughter that usually radiated throughout the house. I wanted to sell it but knew I would actually lose money by doing so. And even though I had it, it didn't make sense to lose it recovering from the negative equity just yet. Instead I found an apartment close enough to walk to work that wouldn't eat me alive. The car stayed parked in the garage at home. I took an Uber home on the weekends to do yard work.

----

It was almost a year later that I was in a bookstore by my apartment on a Saturday morning. I usually grabbed a magazine or two and sat in the café with a hot coffee. This day however it was very crowded and there was no room to sit so I went back to the magazine rack to return my selection when I noticed a tree in the children section that had seating all around it. I didn't see any kids around so I sat for a moment with my back against the tree on the far side where I could sit unseen for a while. It was actually more comfortable than the café chairs. Cushioned with the tree forming a curved backrest.

Best plans always have room for failure and when a little girl ran up to the tree and plopped two stuffed animals next to me on the bench along with two huge books I knew my time was limited.

"Claire honey, let's sit over here and let that man read." A familiar voice said to the little girl who was obviously Claire.

"But I always sit by the tree." She said looking up at the lady approaching.

I was gob smacked. The voice was familiar because the voice belonged to Julie.

She was just as surprised as I was. I stood and looked at her as a gentlemen about ten years older walked up next to her.

"Is everything OK Julie?" He asked.

Composure was not my best strength at this moment. We stared into each other's eyes for a second before I walked away noticing we both had tears forming. The magazine I was reading sat opened on the bench next to the tree.

It made sense now. If Julie stayed with me, I couldn't provide a child for her. She couldn't find a single dad with children to marry if we remained together. Her dream was attainable now that we were divorced. I never looked back. She would have seen my tears getting worse.

Two weeks later I sat in my office on Monday morning when I had a visitor. It was the man that had been in the bookstore with Julie. I wasn't sure if I wanted to punch him or have security come and remove him.

"Thank you for seeing me without notice. My name is Tim Keller from Child Services. I was wondering if I could speak to you for a few moments."

Now I was interested. What could he possibly want with me? I motioned for him to sit across from me and waited for him to continue.

"I want you to know I am here on the behalf of Claire Michaels and her pending adoption by your ex-wife Julie." He said.

"Wow, I didn't see that coming? How did she get to the top of the list so fast? I though these things took years to match a child with a foster parent."

"This is a unique situation. Julie was selected by the birth mother prior to her death. She and Julie had gone to school together. Julie was babysitting on the night they were in a fatal accident. Claire's father died on impact. Her mother had severe injuries and had asked social services at the hospital to allow Claire to stay with Julie. She passed three days later."

"I am so sorry. That is going to be hard on Claire. What would you like to know?"

Tim went on to tell me about the process Julie was going through. She was for the most part deemed fit to be recommended but might lack the financial security the court would use in making the judgement. According to him Julie had not found a full time job yet in physical therapy.

"We have a hearing scheduled for Friday and I have to ask. Do you have any reason to believe Julie would not be a suitable parent for Claire?

"I haven't seen her in a year. But I know Julie would make a great mother to Claire. Probably the best ever!"

"Would you be willing to make an appearance in front of the judge? It may not make a difference but I am trying to find as much leverage as possible to support Julie on this one since it was the request of the birth mother. Right now the odds are against her."

"Does Julie know you are here?" I asked.

"No sir! She doesn't know I contacted you. But based on the look the two of you shared in the bookstore, it was my duty to see if you knew anything that could be a showstopper to this adoption. Julie was extremely shook up for the rest of the afternoon and I had to figure out if this would alter my recommendation to the court."

As soon as he left I went down to see my attorneys. Karen listed to me for about ten minutes before she finally stopped me.

"Are you trying to be fair, or are you trying to get her back?" She asked.

"I don't know what I am trying to do. That is why I am here."

"If Julie had a reputable attorney she would have received ten times more than she did. That doesn't mean you should feel guilty or try to make amends. You lost everything, she did as well. You had a great marriage. You two had a future. The incident at work caused it all to collapse. I am not saying she deserved what happened to her, but you are not responsible."

"Ok, so what do I do Karen?"

She didn't answer for a moment. She did that thing where she just stared at me for a long time.

"You still love her and it is obvious. You are a kind man and you were touched at the moment by your contact with Claire. You are able to help her financially. But you are also very vulnerable to being hurt again. If you can do this without expecting anything back from her then fine. If you honestly think this will solve what happened to you guys, then I would walk away from all of this. Getting together again?" She said with a raised eyebrow. "It will likely not happen and you have to understand that. This will not have the outcome you want Ken."

I spent a few minutes telling her my thoughts on what I would be willing to do. The look on her face told me she didn't agree.

"Hey, you told me yourself that she deserved better. And you are right. I never stopped loving her. But I also know walking away and pretending she was in the middle of trying to save a little girl wouldn't help me at all. I would always wonder if I could have done more."

She smiled and shook her head. "Fine, I will draw up some papers for you to take to court. And this time you will receive a bill for my services since you are foolishly tossing money away buster." She waited a second then continued. "Oh wait! I did bill you last time. Wow, I love this job!"

She smiled. "You want to know a phrase you would never hear a divorce attorney use?"

I just looked at her but didn't say anything.

"Fine, it is just a joke any way. We never use the phrase 'Why can't people just get along?'"

Again I just looked at her.

"Oh well, I still think it is funny." She laughed.

On Thursday, Tim Keller called and asked if I was still coming to court on Friday. I told him that I was and that I had some financial help for her if she would take it. Tim said it may help but preferred I presented it to the judge first instead of telling Julie.

"The session starts at ten but get there a few minutes after that time so that you don't run into Julie, Claire, or Julie's mother outside of the courtroom. I will send someone out to get you when it is your turn."

Friday morning I did as Tim requested and got there after the door was closed. I had my best suit on. I stood outside the courtroom door and watched the little TV in the hall. Julie and Claire were at table with Tim and seated across from them was the Judge and a court reporter. Her mother was seated alone behind them in the gallery area. The screen was small and in black and white but you could see Claire and Julie were dressed like it was Easter. Two very pretty woman.

The judge listened to Tim present his findings. She took a lot of notes and kept looking up at Claire and Julie as she interacted with Tim. She did not look like she had been convinced by him. She looked at her notes for a long time. Her face was void of any expression. At a moment of silence Tim then asked the judge if she would allow another person to speak on Julie's behalf.

"This is unusual at this point in the preceding. I am about to make my decision. What is this person here to present to the court?"

They questioned each other back and forth, but a case leaving the courtroom across the hall added to the noise level and echo in the hallway and I missed what the Judge had said. I could see Tim walking to the door.

"You have five minutes." Tim told me as he ushered me into the room.

With all eyes on me I walked in. Julie's mother gasped out loud and Julie's face froze when she saw it was me. Hers was expressionless much like the judges.

"State your name for the court please." The judge asked.

"I understand you have information that you believe the court should consider before rendering its decision."

"Yes ma'am your honor. I do."

"You are on the clock sir. Go!" She said with a smirk.

That look caught me by surprise. I would find out later from Tim that she knew why I was there. It appears Karen and her crew had smoothed over my landing today.

"Your honor, I met Claire two weeks ago in a bookstore for a matter of 2 minutes. But I believe that you will not find a better person than Julie to become Claire's mother. I have known Julie since seventh grade and ever since then I knew that someday she would be the most incredible person there ever was to raise a child."

"Sir, if I may stop you right here." The judge abruptly said. "I believe that I have enough information on the character of the petitioner in this case to make a sound decision on whether or not she is fit to be a mother. And I find no evidence to believe the opposite of what you say. However, I must also take into consideration her ability to provide for the child. I am concerned that she is currently employed part time and living with her mother. Having a child would make it difficult to work full time, not to mention she has no current savings. So unless you have more to add to the financial picture I am ready to state my findings."

"Yes your honor. I do have more." She gave me the look that meant she didn't like being interrupted but then went back to that challenging smirk she made earlier. I opened the envelope I brought in and handed her a document.

"Your honor, this is a copy of my divorce decree with Julie. As you can see here it does not address in detail some of our assets at the time of the divorce. Most notably our savings account. I have a statement here that states on the day of the divorce our account held thirty-one thousand dollars. I have a check here for that amount and a statement of forfeiture from my attorney." I turned and handed Julie the check. The puzzled look on her face was not what I wanted to see. No smile, no color, just shocked. Sort of confused as well.

"Shortly after our divorce I moved closer to my office. I walk to work most days. Because our house had little or no equity at the time, there was no advantage to sell it. It is near the schools Julie and I had originally chosen for our future children. I have an agreement drawn up by my attorney that offers Julie the use of the house if she is granted custody of Claire. There are some stipulations that she can read over before she decides."

The judge was looking at the copy of the agreement Karen had drawn up. She looked up at me and smiled. "I will consider it if Julie agrees to the stipulations. Is there any more sir?"

"Yes your honor. If Claire is adopted by Julie I will pay one thousand dollars a month until Claire turns 18. Since I was not obligated to pay alimony and Julie is not presently working, I believe this may help." This wasn't from my income it was from the money I received in the settlement with her employer so I still made out OK. It was only 14 years anyway.

After reading the document for monthly support she said it would be fifteen minutes before she read her opinion. Julie turned to me and didn't know what to say. Her mother tapped her on the other shoulder to whisper and when Julie turned to her, I left the courtroom. I left the building as fast as I could. I didn't want to be confronted by Julie's mother and I figured the rest of it would take care of itself.

My afternoon at the office went by slowly. Karen stopped in just before quitting time to tell me Julie accepted my assistance and the judge had granted her final custody of Claire. According to Karen, Julie's mother tried to tell her not to accept anything but the judge made it clear that she needed financial assistance and this was her only chance. We killed a little more time before Karen left the room. I grabbed my things to leave when I heard my phone buzz. I had a new IM.

.... Thank You ....

It wasn't the old number I had for Julie but I was certain it was from her so I responded.

.... I hope you and Claire settle in together. I am happy for you both .....

I didn't receive any more from her and walked back to my apartment.

------

A few weeks went by and my thoughts drifted to Julie every ten seconds. Spring was in full swing and I knew I would eventually have to go to the house and do the lawn work that I had committed to in the paperwork Julie received in the courthouse. I sent text to the number I believed was Julie's.

.... I will be over on Saturday to work on the yard. Ken....

I wasn't sure what to expect but a few minutes later I received a smiley face emoji. I was hoping for something in the way of a conversation but decided to just leave it at that.

It was still pretty cool for a late April day so I put on a jeans and a hooded sweatshirt and drove over. I hadn't asked but fortunately the garage code was the same and the car was in the middle giving me access to the power tools and mower.

Sitting on the cold concrete cleaning the mower spark plug brought back some uncomfortable memories but I was able to clear my head of them just as Julie opened the door to the house and looked in.

"Good morning Ken."

I looked to her and noticed her long hair had a lot of waves to it and her makeup was done. She had jeans and a nice maroon sweater on. Her figure was still incredible. I momentarily stared at her before I collected my wits and responded.

"Good morning. You look real nice today."

I didn't know how she would respond but this time it was her who just stared into my eyes before she went back inside and closed the door.

The following weak it was the same routine. I was in the garage just getting ready to start the mower when Julie stuck her head out to day good morning. This time Claire was hugging her leg and moved to the side so she could see me. I said hello to her but she ducked back behind her mother's leg. Julie looked down at her and slowly closed the door.

As I mowed back and forth across the yard I could see Claire occasionally standing in the window. I would wave as I walked past each time but it was five or six passes before she reluctantly raised her hand and waved back. I had no clue to what or who Julie told her I was. But my first experience with her in the bookstore told me to keep trying.

Towards the end of May I had stopped to buy a flat of purple flowers. I remember Julie always liked them around the two trees in front. I mowed the lawn and then began cleaning and raking the dirt area around the tree. A shadow appeared in front of me and when I looked up, Claire was standing there with a smile.

"My mom likes purple flowers." Claire said softly. "So do I."

I had just put one into the small hole I had made and then asked her, "Would you like to plant one?"

The smile she returned was incredible. She plopped down on her knees next to me asked, "Can I?"

For the next couple of minutes I was making a hole and Claire was pulling one flower at a time out of the flat and putting in. We were halfway around the tree when Julie walked up.

"I am sorry Ken, I didn't know she came out here. Claire honey, let's not bother him."

"Look mom, I planted these." She proudly exclaimed.

"Actually Julie, I am getting more done and I think it looks a lot better because Claire is such a big help." I smiled.

Claire had a beaming smile and Julie didn't know how to respond. I tried to keep it casual and just made another hole. Claire pulled another flower out but it snapped off at dirt level in the flat as she pulled on it. She got upset and looked like she was going to cry but I quickly assured her it was OK. I told her it happens and I have it happen to me too.

By the time we finished the second tree, Claire and I had been talking back and forth like we were best friends. She told me about her new bedroom and that she had helped Julie pick out the colors. Her new bed spread matched and she wanted me to come in and see it.

"Claire, I can't come into the house unless something needs to be fixed. But someday if I get the chance you can show me. Besides, I am all full of dirt."

She looked disappointed. Julie looked sad as well and just lowered her eyes. I went home that night with mixed feelings. I couldn't help but wonder what it could have been if Julie and I had stayed together. I know her mother wasn't happy about the situation but fortunately I hadn't seen her at the house at all on Saturdays. Maybe that was intentional by Julie? I didn't ask.

Together during our Saturday routine each week we all grew a little closer. Julie would send Claire out with a cold water while I was mowing the lawn. Claire got to use the blower and would blow all of the grass from the front sidewalk or driveway and even the patio in back. On one hot day mid-July, Julie came out back where I was working with a glass of water for both her daughter and I. Julie looked amazing as she always did and had a light loose-fitting flowery top and jean shorts on. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her makeup was perfect. Just as she handed me a water, Claire came up behind her slightly off to the side and pushed the button the blower while it was pointed at Julie. The sudden rush of air from behind caused Julie's top to billow up into the air. I was seeing my ex-wife's naked breasts for the first time in eighteen months.

Julie screamed and tried to pull her top down forgetting she had Claire's water in her hand. The water poured all over the front of her top with the ice falling to her feet. All of this took less than a second. The scream sounded like it took a lot longer, but the image of Julie was burned into my memory forever.

Claire stood there laughing, I stood their stunned, and Julie ran for the patio door. She didn't appear again until I sent Claire in as I was leaving. I went back to my apartment wondering how I would be able to make it to next week without seeing those two.

On Tuesday I ran into Karen as I went up the elevator. She asked how things were going and I asked her to save a few minutes of her scheduled sometime this week. She just looked at me smiling and made this shrieking whistle ending with the sound of an explosion. Her hands flew apart as if a bomb was exploding and then laughed.

"You couldn't stay away could you? Ken have you ever heard anyone survive a train wreck?"

Caution, warnings, escape routes, contingency plans on how to disappear and other scary options came from her mouth while I was in her office Thursday afternoon.