All Comments on 'Play Testers Wanted Pt. 07'

I am wondering if I should've chopped this up into smaller bits. Please vote and reply. TY.

Great writing and creativity. Keep up the good work!

amazing work as always, cant wait to see where this story carries you

Hell no. Bigger is better. :p

loving this new story. great work!

Too long, you ask? Too short, I say!

I tend to gravitate toward authors that rack up stories 20 Lit pages long. They don't do it for every chapter, but one of my favorites, Tefler, started the series Three Square Meals with two page chapters and slowly worked up to twenty pages near chapter 70 or so, and is now past chapter 120. Since then, Tefler is pacing things and back down to about 10+ page chapters monthly.

I also like BurntRedstone for the Shepard and One Who Understands series, though the second isn't listed as a series, but as a few standalone stories of the same characters.

So, suffice it to say that stories of the caliber you are writing inevitably reach a point where your audience is in it for the story far more than for the sex scenes. In fact, I often skim past them to get back to the main story. This being the case, the longer the story, the better.

That said, write what you want, how you want, and especially how much you want. This is your story, and no matter what we think would make it better, or makes it worse, just do your thing.

If there was a 6th star available to click at the end, I would have. Please, for my sanity, keep writing, and understand my impatience for the next chapter is that of a literary addict in need of another chapter to read.

BTW, thanks for replying about the reading order for your stories. Maybe that will keep me busy until you post the next chapter. lol

The length was fine, I never read the stories in one sitting anyway. Can't wait for the next chapter. All of your stories are great.

Feel the width! Some real girth there.

You nailed it. As others have pointed out you are among some of the best story writers on this site.

Many of us stick with the longer stories do to the plot and the great storytelling. The erotica is just a bonus.

Not many writers as of late have the high-grade spark of creation that you do. I check for new chapters to the stories that I like that the writers are still working on. A lot of the time I'm disappointed that they have not posted any new chapters. So when that happens I look for new stories to try to catch my fancy and entertain myself. Again a lot of the time disappointed to not find anything. But every time you post a chapter it is a absolute enjoyment that brightens up my day. You have done an absolutely amazing job as of so far. Please continue as you have been doing.

I'm only half awake as I type this, but then, I just woke up and had to get it down. I actually dreamt about PTW last night. As per usual when I get obsessed with a particularly epic Lit story, I enjoy the hell out of it, yet still find myself speculating on future plot points, but more often about items, tech or abilities that would be cool to see in the story. My runaway imagination, though, tends to lean towards the overpowered. I don't post my own attempts to write stories because I keep making my protagonists so OP there is no real feeling of danger or struggle from the antagonists. It ends up like superman vs fluffy bunnies, and not the Monty Python variety from Quest for the Holy Grail.

I love the fact that Ghost is learning to make holocrons, and wondered what ever happened to his "personal" holocron that he received from Asajj when he made his first lightsaber, and she declared his training with her complete. I was just reading chapter 1 again, and found myself also missing the dark lightsaber crystal he got from Nightwind.

You just helped him get a new ghost fire crystal, but in my dream, Ghost returned for his original lightsaber in the negative zone. With the lightsaber being involved in first the dark elf armored exoskeleton's destruction, followed by the that of the temple, I have no idea what mechanism he could use to retrieve it, unless he uses the force to guide him to the crystals he is attuned to, finding that the now-mangled Mor'ia meteorite-metal casing has protected both crystals inside it.

My dream had Ghost dual wielding ghost fire lightsabers, and rereading Ch. 1 I saw a line I had forgotten. His stream of consciousness narration stated, "Since I preferred Niman, the two-handed sword style,". Now, the wiki is rather imprecise, but mostly refers to adherents of the form, and the very history of the form's origins as being that of a fighter dual wielding, using a separate lightsaber in each hand.

Your use of "two-handed", at least in my mind as I reread it, means a two-handed grip on a single lightsaber/sword. I'm going to keep rereading the series, but I don't recall Ghost regularly using two lightsabers at once. I would love to see him dual wielding ghost fire lightsabers, although his growing collection of unique weapons is making my head hurt.

I like them all so much, the extendable staff with the mystery crystal in the middle, the dark elf blade (dagger?), and now Death Kiss. That seems like a weapon that would be hard to ignore, not to mention extremely useful in prolonged fights, either against a boss or multiple opponents. (However, I would think most games would restrict or disable the life stealing ability of Death Kiss when fighting a boss. It kind of nerfs the boss.)

Dreams of kitbashed combinations of some of these weapons are dancing in my addled mind like sugarplum faries. The extendable staff with a lightsaber in each end, like a saberstaff. It would probably be awkward to fight with both sabers ignited and the staff fully extended, but then it could be used collapsed with one or both blades ignited, or even fully extended with a single blade ignited, like a naginata.

The unique attributes of Death Kiss would make modifying it difficult, to say the least. I don't remember him actually crossing blades with the Sith sent to kill him on Tython, but then, there was a bit of confusion there, for me. He just taught the Je'Daii to make lightsabers, something they didn't recognize, and he thought about the continuity of introducing the weapon prematurely, yet the Sith on Korriban had lightsabers and even practice sabers, already...

Back to the previous point, already in progress. I wonder if there is a way to add lightsaber traits to Death Kiss for fights against other lightsaber wielders, other than the weapons Snoke's guard had with the mini lightsaber blades projected in front of the leading edge of the physical blade. I assume they were technically there to counter lightsabers, as well as increase their damage output.

I just hate to see an epic weapon like Death Kiss sidelined due to the fear of a lightsaber being able to damage or destroy it, and it not having his namesake ghost crystal incorporated into it. I guess he'll have to retrieve his original lightsaber and its crystals (I miss Nightwind's signature black saber crystal!) so he can dual wield ghost crystal lightsabers, and save Death Kiss for assassination/stealth attacks from the shadows.

Now that I'm waking up, I think I better post this before it either gets an longer, or I realize it's all gibberish. I guess I'll go back to rereading the existing chapters, and start keeping notes so I can keep track of what little nuggets and easter eggs you allude to, and whether or not we've seen the payoff, yet.

Lastly, you are a god! I love that you've started Ghost down the road to possibly becoming a "Mechanic" of Stark's level (Pardon the Iron Man 3 reference). When this battle is over, and he can spend time with Shuri, Stark, and maybe even a rehabilitated Reed, his apprenticeship in their non-Star Wars universe tech could be epic, especially as he works his way up to the Dark Elf tech he has gained, and maybe even Asgardian tech, one day.

Time for a caffeine jolt.

Litreader... thanks to you and others for their feedback. Yes, I took notes to make sure i covered what I can reveal at this point w/o spoiling anything.

Darksaber. Will Ghost return to the Negative Zone? Most assuredly. Since we are talking about the zone, I want to bring up that when Ghost was fighting the Dark Elf Mech he used both the darksaber and the dark elf dagger. A dagger that deserves a name by the way.

Two handed fighting style... I feel it covers both the mastery of a double bladed lightsaber as well as having a weapon in each hand. I will place a note here that when Ghost was acting Grandmaster he learned and mastered saber throw as well as creating his own skills of basic and advanced ghost throw. The advanced involves throwing two sabers.

Since we are on Tython at the moment, we can look back to the four on one PVP battle. The lightsaber wielding Sith were players that got to Korriban via quests. One such quest was a bounty placed on Ghost's head by the as yet unnamed governor of the city. While Ghost was dueling the last Sith he was using Death Kiss. She is a rune weapon and so short of catastrophic damage is effective indestructible. The soul of the Sith Lady that helped create the weapon helps protect it along with the ancient Rakata runes. Yeah, with the help of the Rakatan holocron Ghost built an artifact that could show up in other stories, who knows.

I also agree that Death Kiss' life drain needs to be limited versus bosses for the very reason you mentioned. Lore fact... the first two mentions of life stealing weapons that i can recall, and here's a huge shout out to one of my favorite authors Michael Moorcock and his famed black sword Stormbringer. The other comes from a first editionn D&D module and a sword called BlackRazor. Both are pricks by the way. Stormbringer was designed to be a god slayer and really enjoyed its job. Yeah, my first gaming session was using basic D&D, hah.

Thanks again and I hope this helps clear up a few things. Keep the comments cominng and if you have any suggestions feel free to drop me a line here or in my email. Currently flipping back and forth between Mr. Robinson and part 8 of this series.

I thought your last chapter was good this one's even better

Here is another fantastic story from the best writer on here in my opinion .Thank you again Lost Boy .

Thanks, LB, for taking the time to answer my veritable cornucopia of questions...again.

I think I'm going to set aside the lingering inconsistency of both Korriban and the four PVP attackers on Tython having lightsabers, while Ghost was trying to "preserve the continuity of the timeline" for Tython...in a game! I'm going to wonder, instead, about the fact that those four players not only received a quest against Ghost, an individual player, but that there were any other players at all.

The suit from Numenor/Fun Time For All, during the IRL orientation told the beta testers that "For now, each player is limited to their own world. Eventually we hope to create a multiplayer format." To top that off, there were only ten players for this beta test.

If memory serves, Booker/Ghost has only had one mandatory sleep break, and another break during a system update, where he had the whole "there is no spoon" moment vs the still-unexplained attack on the testing facility. (That was wicked cool, him using in-game abilities IRL. If you turn around and say that was either a dream or some sort of extra game content, I'll...I'll pull my hair out! There's no way I'm threatening to stop reading PTW!!! We all know that would be an empty threat. lol) This timeline puts his elapsed time in the testing facility at a maximum of only a day or two, IRL.

I don't see how they could go from play testers being limited to their own worlds to a multiplayer format in that time, since the suit's comment made it sound like they hadn't even come close to creating the multiplayer system, yet. With there only being ten beta testers including Booker/Ghost, how are four of them not only teamed up but also attacking Ghost together? The leader's comments, as well as at least two of the other's using Earth specific profanities confirm them to be players, IMO.

How is the system generating a PVP assassination quest against one specific player character out of ten, anyway? In this one encounter, half of the beta testers in the group are fighting each other, and Ghost sends the other four to the white room. (I don't recall hearing what the consequences of that are. Do they just lose any progress and gear/monetary gains from the last save point, also something not touched on, or do they lose part of their total gained skill/experience? Is there a gear durability stat with accompanying repair costs?)

That should be more than enough questions for this comment. On to the suggestions. Ghost is wracking up some serious crystals in his inventory. I'm not sure which I would prefer to see more; multiple lightsabers with one to two crystals in each, or perhaps twin lightsabers with multiple crystals each.

I'm wondering if it would be possible to make the lightsaber version of those pens every one of my teachers seemed to carry, the ones with the colored barrel, but the top half was usually white, and had the four slides/plungers around the top to select which color pen would be extended to write with.

I would still love to see Ghost dual wielding Ghost Fire lightsabers, if he can recover his original crystals from the negative zone. If he did, off the top of my head, he would have the two ghost fire crystals, Nightwind's trademark black crystal, the amethyst Revan's Respite, and possibly the Vorpalite crystal, which you showed he can create fairly easily. (I love the D&D reference! My first exposure to the game was my brother, who came home from a D&D session talking about his +3 cursed vorpal sword, and a warning to be VERY specific in how you word a limited wish to your DM! lol) This doesn't include the numerous red/Sith crystals he has scavenged when he looted both the PVP opponents, as well as numerous NPC's of their lightsabers. He could always purify some of the red crystals, like Ahsoka Tano did for her post-Jedi lightsabers, especially if, like hers, the crystals had been forced to turn red by the dark sider who owned it.

So, if he ran into dark siders, he could hit one switch for a red blade, and any of the other colors for light siders, etc..

Lastly, what are the chances that after Ghost gathered enough Cortosis to satisfy his Rakatan holocron's gatekeeper master, he kept harvesting more and more Cortosis after each day's training, for those months? I wonder what he could do with it on Earth, with the collaboration of Shuri and Stark. Would a lightsaber with a pure Cortosis housing keep shorting itself out? Would the properties of Vibranium and Cortosis cancel each other out if used together in a new suit of armor, or could they complement each other? The possibilities make me giddy, i.e. when they start making nanite armor like the later MCU movies.

If it did work, I would love to read a scene where Ghost says he has a few tons of Cortosis, a ton each for himself, Stark and the Wakandan royals. Have to keep T'Challa happy, or he might try to keep Ghost and Shuri from having any private time together.

Okay, I need some sleep...end rant.

Each play tester has their own world of Marvel vs. DP. The training portal leads to a wider universe shared by other players. Nightwind and Ventress were players as were the Sith that attacked the Ossus temple. Sorry for the confusion.

LB

Bro keep up the good work I get on lit every day 2 await ur newest story.

Not many authors have grabbed my attention like u.

M_GREY

This is great your back to writing after so long. I would like to see more of a crossover between the game and the real world, like his personal abilities and his weapons, death kiss is a preaty cool sword anyway keep it up love the story.

Congrats on the award dude.

this isn't a Chinese novel translated by google. stop addressing your character actions with i did this.

where is your fucking editor?

I was hoping that Xim was a princess of alderaan who was secretly corrupted by the evil that was taking over the other disney princesses and ghost fire got to save her... hmmm. later to find she was just a secret lover was dissappointing.