All Comments on 'Play Testers Wanted Pt. 15'

I have no words... incredible story, reality blurring themes, Lost Boy mythos...just, wow. If this is what you can do with a longer story, keep on doing what you're doing!

I'm so glad to see another installment you don't disappoint I was afraid something happened as it has been months. Thank you.

Sometimes I struggle to find the right words, and then there are times when i have to jot down all the ideas that come flooding in and say which ones fit together. This was one of those times when it all melded with little effort. Thank you for your kind words and i hope everyone is being safe and staying healthy. Take care until next time. LB

My only regret with how much I love this story, is how fast I finish all of your new chapters! :( I eagerly await chapter 16!

The skill you have in your writing abilities is beyond measure compared to most on this website. You don't have to change a thing as far as I'm concerned. Yes I like it if writers can post multiple chapters within a short time. But only if they don't lower the quality of the story itself. Not many can do that. It may take you some time writing the chapter's you post but it's worth the wait. So you keep doing things your way. By the way this is another 5 star chapter. Keep up the great work please.

Another awesome installment!!

Please keep up the great work!

Another great chapter, thanks.

Can’t wait for the next one...please let there be a next one!

Dude, hope you had a great Holiday. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to your next installment. Thank you.

I just got sucked down the YouTube rabbit hole, watching Star Wars vids about the Mandalorian. The last few videos were about lightsabers, lightsaber crystals and kyber crystals. I was kind of shocked to find one by The Stupendous Wave on the Ghostfire crystal. I never realized it was real/canon.

The suggestions list led me to another lightsaber crystal I think would be cool to add to Ghost's ever-growing collection of lightsabers. The Krayt Dragon Pearl. Revan himself had trouble getting his hands on one, so it would be a sweet addition. Finding a plausible plot point to get him to Tatooine is obviously up to you, but aside from blue, green and red, they come in black and white. With his patron goddess/goddess', I would think a short-handled dual bladed lightsaber with one white blade, and one black, would be almost as fitting as his namesake blade, that he got from his late mentor. Maybe the goddess could send him on a quest to hunt for a white and black pearl?

Now, it's time to once again reread the PTW series, all over again. Of course, it's in the hopes that by doing so, Murphy's Law will have you posting Ch. 16 while I'm still on Ch. 3, or something. I'll take more chapters of PTW any day, over any other series you've written, so far. I realize you need to cleanse your writing pallet, but I'm in serious withdrawal, here...lol.

Can't wait to see if you manage to work in some of the other more rare lightsaber/kyber crystals. Ever after watching Rebels, with the Inquisitor/temple guardians, as well as Rey's new lightsaber, I've really wanted a yellow one for myself. Although, if Ghost collects too many crystals/sabers, he'll be using up a lot of his item storage for just his collection.,.not that I'd mind.

Thank you so much for this story! What a remarkable odyssey of adventure and intrigue. This is the first story of yours I have read, and I am very impressed. You have a vivid imagination and amazing ability to describe concepts and events in a singular fashion. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Wow what a series. One that I hope is not over and is still ongoing. After four days with little sleep I am up to date. 450.2K words a lot to read but it was a awesome tale to read.

One thing though ‘Lost Boy’, one that I believe will help broaden your fan base a bit. With how you came up with it and the tech in the story, why haven’t you added a ‘virtually reality’ tag.

A person puts on a type of head gear and plays a created character in a digital world. In my opinion that sounds like S.A.O. A VR MMORPG.

I loved this story and it’s only because of blind luck that after a story I was reading that didn’t have VR as a tag, had this story there and I saw you as the author, one that I was following and thought this will probably be a good one.

Regardless I wish you the best and look forward to your future works.

hope to have more of this story soon

Found you and binged this while series.

Absolutely brilliant! Love the plots, the details, the world(s).

Please, please continue!

Also, you need a Patreon or something where we can donate or whatever

Had to read this whole series. It's top 3 or better on this site. Hope you make a come back with more of this!

I swear I learn something new every time I reread your series here.

I didn’t catch the first time reading ch.14 about the ZPEM’s and how the concept is like the similar name ZPM from the Stargate series. Will something come of this in ch.16. Only time will tell. I also hope that Cindy comes back into his life.

In-game: ghost man has gotten both Storm sisters pregnant as well as Loki, before the 7year time flux. Interestingly they never mentioned anything about past pregnancies and children when he returned.

Furthermore Did he knock up Duanna Lustgood in the past and helped creat the modern line? The Professor woman?

Will he as they say ‘put a bun the oven’ for Ynariel?

Will Doom escape hell with his mother? Will Hela come after him and possibly ask his ghost or katria character for assistance? Will Mystique be saved?

- - - - - -

Will Jedi Satele Shan return to the scene in the future?

What are the (L)ast (W)ill (A)nd (T)estament of nightwing, bookers master?

Health is important. So stay safe. Look forward to what’s to come.

Ok, I haven't read any of this series yet. I just came across "Click" yesterday and like the stories. I noticed those were written 8 years ago, so wanted to see if your dialog writing has improved: it has not. Or, as most people would say (verbally) "It hasn't."

I would be willing to bet, that when you proof your own writing, you mind reads lines like this

- I did not want to throw a bad light on Kyanna.

as this

- I didn't want to throw a bad light on Kyanna

Most people, when speaking will use a contraction 99% of the time. The major exception is if they want to stress the word - "I *AM* going to fuck you" where normally "I'm going to fuck you" would be used.

When you write them out "I am going to fuck you" "I did not want to throw a bad light on Kyanna" - makes your characters sound robotic and stiff (not in a good hard-on kinda way).

This is really my biggest issue with many of the writers on Literotica. So many do this and if the story has any quality, I'll (I will) point it out.

One more thing, with a couple of the chapters on Click, I noticed (at least 2 cases that I recall) where you opened a speaking line with an exclamation but then moved right on to the rest of the verbal.

i.e. "Wow you really came a lot." (this isn't directly from your story, only an example) No punctuation or anything. Should be "Wow! You really came a lot." At the very least, "Wow, you really came a lot."

Great content. Mostly good grammar, just a few punctuation issues. Haven't seen any spelling or wrong word issues (I'll leave a story instantly if the writer talks about person's waste when they mean waist. My "pet peeve" is characters that talk robotically thou.

Even with the grammatical, spelling, and punctuation errors the one that bothered me the most was during the charity even where you introduced Winter and Talon. You kept screwing up Talon's name and calling her Thorn. Not getting a character's name correct is right up there with using the wrong verb tense, using a singular verb when the subject is plural, using the wrong homophone, swapping then and than, etc. These are the most common errors I see with amateur authors. This story has great potential if it was edited better. I enjoyed the story anyway. I can see there is a lot more to the story in the real life. I hope you plan to continue the story.

Binge read this whole series over the past 16 hours, couldn't put it down from the intriguing nature and combinations. Really hoping it gets an update soon, however the fact it's sat stale for 7 months now is slightly disappointing.

Looks heavily like we were just about to get the Star Forge added into this story. So ole Booker was about to receive an absolutely stupid powerful upgrade to his ship Auto-Forge. Specifically in his ability to convert rare resources from one quality to another, and probably to forging speeds enabling him mass-production which he'll undoubtedly need soon if he continues this war with The Brotherhood.

For some nitpicks and constructive criticism, a little more editing is required to catch the minor things; names are sometimes incorrect, tenses are occasionally off, and word selection could be tuned a touch (using the word drug when you meant dragged, as in dragged a body).

Plot-wise, he forgave Kyanna a little bit too quickly there. Both Kyanna and Aoki knew up front that Bookers primary character is Ghost Fire, and that Katria Forgemaster is purely an 'alt' character he originally made entirely for fun purpose (thus his threat of simply retiring her, and starting a fresh new character instead). So them being 'upset' with him just because they chose to make their mains on the Star wars side, and then getting pissed off with him for playing his main is.... more than slightly hypocritical and bullshit. He took time out of his own schedule to train them purely out of being a nice guy, when he didn't even have to do a single thing where the excuse of "continuing to hold the #1 leaderboard as Ghost Fire" would have been more than accepted.

At no point since he started his first day has he ever actually had to make a decision due to inventory capacity which item he wanted more, and even more importantly to our eyes he has never sold a single item. Especially since he now has multiple sets of gear for Ghost Fire, multiple distinct sets of gear for the Katria persona, and compulsively updates older gear with new designs or new alloys, which further suggests he never sells anything.

Quests have never paid out that well in any RPGs, you've always had to sell at least some of the loot you gather, especially when you compulsively loot everything you've ever killed like Booker does. Call it a "money rebalancing" patch where Booker now actually has to exert at least a tiny bit of effort to buy new blueprints for his tinkering. Maybe combine that with the reverse-engineering for the blueprints consumes the item (think SWTOR here, which also shares the account-wide inventory & blueprints), if Booker disassembles any future weapons or armor, it's consumed so he can learn the blueprint and only THEN can he start tinkering by using stockpiled resources.

Other rather major nitpick, is how the Katria persona isn't truly a distinct character, and isn't subject to the same requirements as everybody else. Katria's got all the Ghost Fire skills, perks, drawbacks and inventory access... which made sense back when Kat asked nicely if Booker would help her deal with the player rapists to allow him the ability to snooker them better. But now that he's actively playing it as an actual character, I really can't see Kat not finally stepping in and invoking 'Developer Solomon act' to split Katria officially from Ghost Fire. Booker will still have access to both, but Katria would become a distinct character with a completely separate inventory set, one that is 100% only Star wars tech so she's brought somewhat in-line with other players. Keep some overlap concerning his private Tower guarded by a Predator clan which is very similar to the SWTOR stronghold, but she won't have any Wakandan/Stark-tech influenced gear just like everybody Katria kills.

Side effect of giving Katria an official split from Ghost Fire, is countering how eventually others are going to start putting clues together even if they don't exactly make sense. They've gotta be starting to get suspicious about how exactly she got so powerful without anybody seeing her before, and how she just happens to use some of the same Force Powers and Stances as an extremely tiny population that knows Form 8 or Force Blast it seems.

If Booker doesn't meet "the Star Wars greatest player" soon in-game, they'll start looking at how Ghost Fire and Katria are never online at the same time, and have never done a cross-over together, and put 2+2=4. Booker could arrange one of his AI's, whether Traci or Surfer, to effectively pilot Katria while he plays Ghost Fire so they can officially 'meet' during a crossover, and shift everybody else's math to 2+2=5, and not realize they missed a variable of the equation actually being 2+2+1=5, which shifts suspicions and heat off him that "someone else is genuinely that powerful" and that Ghost Fire isn't somehow a cheat.

I love all the grammar nazi's that then use shyte grammar or misspell words. They can't manage their own expectations in a 200 word diatribe, but expect perfection in your 90,000 word story. If it's so unbearable to read, scroll on. They do realize that these are written edited and provided for free, right? Anyways, I hope your health has improved and that the idiotic commenters complaining about grammar mistakes on a free, jerk-off site aren't too troublesome. I for one find your stories wholly enjoyable and would be saddened greatly if you ever decided to quit writing. Certainly it's no hardship to overlook some slight grammatical errors or misspellings. Have a good day, my friend

To Anon 5 days ago, it's easy to talk shit when staying Anonymous. Are you being a little bitch about giving people a pass just because this is literotica, and not something published on a more reputable site? What you call "grammar nazi" is called constructive criticism, it's helping someone improve their writing not talking shit just for the sake of talking shit. That your Anon ass is getting pissy over helping the author make good writing into better writing means YOU need to quit jerking off and go improve your life.

In his bio he talked about posting the 16th part…. Did he forget to post it or is it still loading on the site?

God damm it I just love this story lostboy your a bloody genius with a pen or keyboard as the 21st century goes lol😂 please never end this story it could go on for years. You could also go the way of Patreon and earn a few quid extra I’d pay for sure.

Anon to anon I’m with anon 2 the nice anon because the first anon is a prick of the highest order I actually think he is on his knees sucking ass while playing with his micro penis. If all your going to do is give shit with no constructive criticism’s then just stop reading and go back to your 5yr old and above reading your not a nice person go back to either your mummy’s basement or your one bedroom bed sit and carry on your lonely existence.