All Comments on 'Playing with Bad Boys'

Thanks for writing it.

We'll done sir. Loved it. More please.

I skimmed it because it was pretty predictable and quite wordy. Well written, except far too many words with too few surprises or twists. Good guy wins, cheating slut loses. No surprises.

I think it's always going to be kind of a hard sell to do a longer and more character driven story when you choose to make the cheating spouse the sole central character of the piece. Typically, the majority of drama centers around the person who has been wrong, so when you cut them out of the equation this completely it leaves us feeling like something is missing.

I realize that you had to distance us from him, in order to have his swooping in at the end be what it was. But I almost think that you could have reversed the story after the introduction, and had it work better. We get a little glimpse into her worldview, and then we switch over and follow him as he has a rough night, gets yelled at by his wife, and later discovers that she has suddenly and swiftly run away with some other man. He faces doubts and pain, works at using his resources to unravel the mystery of where she is...and in doing so, finds he has the opportunity to save her life. We could even see that he's a little torn, not wanting to reward someone for having betrayed him that way, and then ultimately had the same basic conclusion play out. We could then have switched back to her point of view at the end, making the two vignettes involving her a sort of bookend to the larger piece, so you could still have had her little moment of shame and regret as a wrap moment.

FBI agents TELL their spouses that they're in the FBI, just as cops tell their spouses that they're cops. To think that Wifey didn't know what Hubby does for a living is a bit too unbelievable for me. Ok, there IS a possibility, but it's very remote. FBI agents carry sidearms, and that includes off-duty. They also carry badges even when off-duty. Wifey would have to be galactically stupid to not notice these things about a man she supposedly loves and shares her life with.

Other than that, it wasn't a bad tale at all. I thought it was a bit too one-sided with ONLY showing Wifey's point of view, however. But then, that's just my personal preference. If you're really going to do a character-driven tale, it would be better to have both protagonists represented, even if Hubby didn't have as big a role. As it was, it only showed Wifey's point of view. That wouldn't have been so bad if she'd been narrating, but with a 3rd person narration going on, I kept hoping to see how Hubby would react. It just never happened.

Still a good tale, though.

4 Stars.

Only a ground rule double. There were borderline excellent sections interspersed by passages of borderline puerile quality. The overall grifter theme was strong but FM doesn't ( yet ) write fully, convincing three dimensional characters to inhabit these morally ambivalent roles required.

Still the Russian mob and corruption in New Jersey subplots were nigh ripped from headlines. Props to this author for taking chances and departing from his usual strong suit of giving his reader a sympathetic narrator whose heart is torn asunder. This is still the best LW story past few days even if it isn't a highwater mark on Francis Macomber's platinum literary resume.

from a master story teller.

Very disappointed, your stories are usually some of the best on here. I've read this whole story line before by another author.

She knew he was an FBI agent before they married.

Thanks, FM... enjoyed the tale.

Good story, just missing the edge. Like watching an episode of "law and order" when you would much rather "game of thrones". 4*

Well developed, kept me reading till the end.

Would have been a great story except you let her get away with everything, including stealing the old man's money. Should have let her pay for her crimes.

Well written and entertaining.....But not paying.......shouldn't be

make her agree to testify vs. Darren. Otherwise, great story as usual from you.

@dmhack

Then why did she act like she didn't know? Wifey was a very shallow character in this one, so that's the only reason I could think of. She acted like he was an accountant or something.

A real story, as usual from you. I really enjoyed it.

An interesting and unique story for the most part but some major flaws let it down. The main character was a spoilt, stupid and selfish bitch with no redeeming qualities at all, so the story suffered big time from having no one to really route for.

Wifey not knowing hubby was a major player in the FBI is one thing but to not even know he was in the FBI or worse what he did for a living just seemed too out there and required way to much suspension of belief.

Wifey getting off scot free for all of her actions, crimes and for just being and out and out cunt throughout this tale again was just to much to take.

is the original Pimms Bad Boy. TK U MLJ LV NV

...I found myself totally unable to have any sympathy for or with Shannon. To some extent, that spoiled my enjoyment of the story. I'll likely not rate it, as I'd probably give it a lower rating than it really deserves, and that wouldn't be fair to you.

Men or Women, the world is filled with stupid people. That's the truth, stupid people make bad decisions, over and over again. Their only hope is to have been raised to follow the rules. If they have been taught the rules and have the minimum amount of intelligence - they might survive. Otherwise they are doomed.

lots of idiot in the world and a lot of them are writing sicko story on this site. Just read the rest of the garbage posted on this day.

Always look forward to your next story. Keep them coming

FrancisMacumber,

Shannon knew what her husband was; just not exactly what he did on his job. ["But her attitude changed after she learned that the quiet young man was an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation." on page 1] Robert knew Shannon was his wife; just not what kind of person she really was. Hard to believe these two could be in love and happily married at all.

More development of why Shannon returned to her wild ways after living with Robert would help justify her drastic change. More development of Robert's reaction and search for Shannon after she left him would also improve the story. More justification of why FBI agents would not arrest her nor prosecute her would provide more credibility to your ending.

The biggest weakness is why readers should care about a self-centered person with no redeeming qualities and why her father should welcome his prodigal daughter home after all her sins. Shannon's sexual antics are also not very erotic given her lack of self-reflection, sympathy for others, and personal remorse.

Maybe you could write a Chapter 2 where she finally learns who she really is and what she had become and what kind of daughter and wife she could have been (and maybe what she could still do to reconstruct her life.)

Eroticism: Fair...Hot once, Fair once. Period (sorry, Barry!)

Biggest surprise: Sweetie converting to nominal 'straight'

Non-surprise: The rest of the tale. When the Moscow Bank was explained, it confirmed that Hubby would be back with his OWN surprise. Don't believe they would release Sweetie until the trial was over 2 years from now!

4*. Good read! Well edited.

This one, though, as with the last one, eh -- not so much.

Useless quibble #1: Tracy undergoing name-reassignment surgery (unless Stacy is someone else).

No, seriously, this one was telegraphed from a long way out. Okay, maybe that's not fair; there are limited plotlines to be had. Still, I knew from page two how it was going to end (not the Russians, obviously, but just generally).

Now, I want all those who cry 'Grammar Nazi!' at those of us who like smooth writing to pay attention to this next:

Whatever problems I had with this story are generally washed aside by the quality of the writing. A couple of typos, to be sure; but, the flow of the writing held me through the somewhat deadly dull center and through to the ending which, while a tad anticlimactic, was gracious.

I give it a sold four stahs (yeah, I lived in NWinglind fuhr a few yeahs...)

but this one failed to satisfy. Got going nicely, but the story just didnt make me care that much for the husband or wife for that matter. No emotional connection for me. A 3.

However the bitch should have done jail time. Well written story, but somehow the wife was so stupid that she provoked ambivalence for me. Never got to know the husband. Won't re-read this one.

It's a page turner. 5x5

Couldn't stop reading after I started it. A real page-turner indeed. Thanks a lot!

FM, who are you? I really liked this one! More please!

Of course this was a five; it's too well written, but...it sort of reminds me of a movie where this girl exploits a shy introverted guy. She gives him a beautiful makeover, but in the end he discovers it was just a part of an art project. She was a complete phony. Though she acknowledges at the end she does love him he's still utterly devastated. He's been used. His faith in others, his own sense of self worth are in ruins.

I read this story. I recognized the scams, but the end, somehow I felt like I'd been scammed.

Honestly, I'm a Hallmark kind of guy. I relish happy endings. When I finish my current real work project I'm going to work extra hard. I have six 'troubled wives' stories I've outlined. I have to find a way to make up for the empty feeling I have right now.

I should have read what others wrote first. The Unoriginalist got it. This was half a story. We never got Robert's story. That's where this story failed.

I enjoy your stories and Style

keep it up

Very good tale. I was thinking all along that her hubby would be involved in the incarceration, but for a moment I was thinking he might be a part of the Russian mob. Five stars.

By the way, very excited this morning to find a new FM story here. Love your work and can't wait for your next offering.

Thanks for sharing!

Very creative. Use of bad wife as protagonist awesomely original.

Not dwelling on husband is a great touch.It's been done!

Gladly waiting on next story.

AMerryMan

The events are not too far-fetched as to be unreal. No limos, no luxury resorts just grubby crime and regrets.

Initially the story sounded like one of those a wife makes a cuck out of her husband and I started to disconnect when I remembered that FM writes very well and it should be worth reading even if it was an irritating theme. It was really enjoyable. Note: when I was young I was told that FBI agents have to be either lawyers or accountants before going the FBI academy. Probably things have changed in the last 70 years but to me he sounded like an FBI agent from the beginning...

Kind sad that one of the "baddest boys in the FBI" is such a clueless cunt when it comes to his wife's needs. I mean, he had to have known what kind of woman he was marrying when they hooked up, right, or is he just that fucking dumb and the whole hardcore FBI agent thing is just a facade?

Francis Macomber has written some of the best stories on this site and I'm glad to see him back at it. I enjoyed this story, it was different in that we saw very little of the grieving husband.

I'm sure the BTB groups will hate it but it gets 5* from me.

The story seems like there should be more to it. Seems like something should have happend after her father picked her up. Something to make her really hurt for what she did.

To figure out the last sentence ("did he do me a favor or not?"), and to get to what was niggling away at the back of my mind, after reading this story. WHY would she be released, even "as a favor" to Spongebob the G-man? I agree, first thing that would happen is that she would do the time (she IS guilty, after all). Second thing, is that she would be made to testify all over the place in the indictments (not only against Darren, but also against the corrupt official in Newark, AND also to the involvement of the Russian Mob). This testimony would possibly reduce her sentence, but not eliminate it. Third thing....FM doesn't say for sure if "Daddy" made bail for her and if she'll still have to return later to face sentencing. But it finally dawned on me ANOTHER possibility.

Soon to be ex-hubby gets her released to be bait for further Russian Mob revenge. The FBI Thinks they have the whole ring, but there are always more connections waiting in the wings. When someone surfaces "to make her pay" for the bust, they can get further people indicted and take even more of the syndicate down. But hubby's revenge becomes that by "letting her go", he has given her a death sentence. I'm sure that her father won't be able to protect her, and it won't matter that even IF she becomes truly repentant, she WILL still be snuffed out before the trial. It will probably even happen before the "divorce" has a chance to go through.

Francis, needs us to use our imagination, but this final act of revenge will cement hubby's image as the REAL "bad boy" of this story, instead of the gypsy con-man that drugged her, fucked her, pimped her, and ruined her life, abandoning her to the wolves that will end it in the name of mafia payback.

May be I agree that this isn't FM's best story, but it IS light years ahead of what anyone else has posted here in the last few days. It is always a pleasure to read a master at work, even when he dances away from his comfort zone, and experiments with a story idea that is criminally dark and just a little bit different, like this one was. Thanks for your work, and I'll keep reading. Even at your worst, comparing you to the faggot oriented fetish cuck crap that clutters the usual everyday posts on this site, will still make a reader value even a "so-so" FM entry like this one "might" be considered, and they will savor it like it was a nugget of gold. And I say that in a lot of ways, this story really is......

All of a sudden she meets this Darren and in a few hours she gives up her life for a bad boy, not knowing anything about him. It takes a bad boy to make a women bad. That just doesn't happen.then she is released from FBI and police custody just like that (total bullshit). If she was an informant maybe , she was so deep into this scam there is no one with that kind of authority to make it happen(again bullshit). If you get thru that the story was okay.keep writing.!

The story seemed pretty straightforward: the descent of a 'decent' girl into crime. But she was never really decent. She put her decency like she put on her dresses.

So about the time she ran off with the POS and we had the lurid description of the bags over the head, I had a pretty good sense of where we were going (Truth Time: I though that the School Administrator would be running his own con, so I didn't guess it all correctly)

Instead, I focused on the CRAFT of the story. What do I mean?

I was focused on the various cons: unless you know about grifting, all of this takes effort to research. Ditto the Maxi Dress, the Newark School system, who donated, how it was administered, how the Russian Mob worked, what a Eurobond was etc.

Getting these details correct offers a much more immersive reading experience.

There were notes which substantially diminished this work, sorry to say:

First, the absolute lack of information that the wife has about the husband. To make this scenario plausible, the wife not only would have to never be curious about her husband and what he did, but she would also have to have never have met any of his colleagues, the husband would have to be absolutely close mouthed about everything...and people WILL talk to get positive affirmation from their loved ones, and she would seemingly have had to miss EVERY SINGLE ONE of these award ceremonies, which are usually not exactly super secret affairs in the Bureau. This was a Contrivance.

The ending seemed abrupt. Excuse me, I am too kind. It WAS abrupt and unlike the rest of the story, it lacked verisimilitude. I could believe in this woman (if I could ignore the contrivance of her lack of knowledge). People DO this. There are Darren's in the world. Corrupt people will try to get away with murder.

But suddenly she disappears without any interviews, testimony, suspended sentences, bail, hearings, etc what have you...the fact this point was harped on by the commenters shows it failed. I get what the author was trying to do and I get the emotionally laden point he was trying to make. But this was at least half a page light. Probably more like a full page as we could have used a bit more description in how she spent her months with Darren so we could see how morally corrosive her lifestyle was.

I didn't waste my time reading this. I appreciated a LOT of the CRAFT touches. One works and works on these things and they are never perfect and when one deals with a horrible person, it's hard to garner much sympathy for them, so this story was a bit of an uphill climb from the start. It was good work, but not great work for the reasons outlined.

Thank you for your story.

I really liked this story, as I have all your tales. Any more Miz Sarah left in the tank?

Sex, betrayal, action, doublecrosses all wove into an entertaining LW tale.

Very nicely done.

Thanks

This was a good story, but really missed the mark set by your Miz Sarah stories. You set the bar pretty high with Miz Sarah and haven't reached that height with subsequent stories.

But this story.for some reason left me flat,I felt the wife was created one dimensionally and the husband a cypher...it needed more depth,something to grab onto,as it was written it just lacked something.

This story is damn good. Yes he talked about his job, she knew SpongeBob works at the lawenforcement power. He told the maffia murder........

not one of your good ones 2**

Thought this one came down to communication again. She sitting at home with hubby and he not doing anything to make their lives interesting, because he gets too much excitement at work. She getting frustrated and not saying anything. Rather than talk about it she just buggers off.

While mainly her fault you can't use the "he the real bad boy" when all he showed her was Sponge Bob.

.. Because of your wimp ending (letting the CHEATING WHORE Shannon off so easily .. no jail, no public humiliation, no begging to be taken back only to have her husband kick her to the curb) you got a "2" even though the rest of story was very good!

My thoughts are that the characters weren't developed very well, that they were sort of 1 dimensional.

But, the plot and the twists in the story were superb. Having read a lot of your stories, I am a fan of your writing.

I gave this one 5* partly because it is you and partly because of the quality of the plot and the entertainment value of the story.

Best regards,

-Pultoy

Your O.Henry-esque endings ususlly bring stories to a reasonable conclusion, and give your reader something more-or-less satisfying to walk away with. This time not so much. Aside from what this woman did to her husband, she was - if reluctantly - a participant in a substantial range of bad behavior. She'd had her wakeup call, and then ignored it. The final confrontation with hubby, and perhaps finding out what a badass he really was would have been a good place to stop, but sending her back to Daddy's loving arms went a step too far and leaves a foul aftertaste.

Not sure it is credible for Robert to be able to get her charges all dropped. Excellent portrayal of a narcissistic bitch. Robert should have knocked her up about four times - she wouldn't have gotten bored if she would have had some young'uns to take care of. Five star story, though.

Magnificent story....the good guys were great and the bad guys were pathetic. It was fun it had emotion as well. Thank you. Oh. I rated this five stars.

FM, you created another clever story. Considering the limits of a half-a-dozen pages, you did a terrific job to develop your characters, to make their marks and say their lines.

As for those who thought Shannon should have been punished worse then being sent home to mommy and daddy. In Real Life she would have been.

In fiction, FM going for the ambivalent ending with a twist. She wound up back where she started. With the same people who raised her to be a criminal in the first place.

Think about it....sorry, did that hurt?

She was exactly right. He is still fucking pussy whipped. That fucking piece of shit deserved jail and he set her free. I gave you the one star you so richly deserved. Fucking discusting.

Your tale illustrates something I've come to believe quite well. We create evil when we turn our backs on good. All the evil that Shannon did, resulted from her selfishness. She knew what she should do in each situation, but chose to create evil by following her selfish desires instead.

So why on God's green earth, did you set her free to inflict the rest of us with her evil? How likely is she to change her ways when she continues to get away with it scott free?

Because of this, I dropped your rating from five stars to four.

And Shannon will eventually make out.

First let me say that this was a good story, almost a great story. However, the last several paragraphs brought the story down. This wife (ex-wife) had zero redeemable qualities. She was just a terrible person. She proved that she was only a whore. She deserved to be destroyed and spend time in prison with her "bad boy". In my opinion, when the husband (ex-husband) released her, it was a travesty of justice and a real downer for the story. But I did enjoy the writing.

The ending ruined the story for me. Further, it is likely that the husband did not know about the con on the old man. Surely the old man had reported the theft as he had no reason not to. That crime will eventually be tied to the wife and her bad boy and her husband will be left with the guilt of her release. Hopefully at that point, she will be locked up and given a chance to pay for her sins.

If I know Shannon's character then she will revert to her bad girl tendencies in time. She can be scared enough to behave for a while, but without a reminder she will backtrack to her old self. Those that were close to her now know what she is and it'll likely be poor company that she'll keep if any. Her ex husband is weak in my opinion for not letting her rot but eventually she might end up in a similar situation down the line. He'll find someone better and live a far superior quality of life than he had with her and hers probably wont be worth much.

3/5 story.

She would be lucky to stay in prison....maybe when she got out she could have recover from her tendencies...But being free, sooner than later she will be in trouble again, and this time worst problems than the 1st ones...

Another case of an author falling in love with his own creation, I think. FM probably couldn't bear to punish her in his writing, so wrote in a ridiculous escape claus.

Anyway, Robert, nor any other FBI agent, would have the authority to simply release a prisoner, without the consent of the local District Attorney, and even then, a federal judge would have to sign off on it. So, there is no way that all that could be organized at that time of night, and certainly not a mere couple of hours after her arrest! And she was arresting on charges of serious felonies, so it's highly unlikely any D.A. would ever release her so easily, without gaining something in return, but her testimony wasn't required against anyone, so she, or anyone else wouldn't have had anything to bargain with. Therefore, Robert is about to lose his job!

it's the author's choice but I see no reason for letting her go free if that would even been possible considering the facts. I rated it a 4 as it's up to the author's usual good stories except the ending

So there! I think the author was suggesting that she'd be worse off in her head free, than she would be incarcerated.

Fuck that cunt. Ten to fifteen would have gotten you a five. It must be the just plain bob influence. You know, take a perfectly good story and turn it to shit in the last couple of paragraphs. One star.

I cannot stand the saintly self-sacrificing hero who has shit dumped all over him and always takes the impossibly high road. Crap. So ludicrous as to make one gag.

So what if an occasional plot serpent got loose in Mac's phenomenal lit tour de force. It's impossible for a writer to engage and defeat all of the literary termites of nature that make any creative endeavor a nightmare before you begin. All of nature's frightning improbabilities align against a writer the instant the need to write arises. If you've ever exposed yourself to the risks of character building while weaving treacherous plot fabric, you know that Francis Macomber just won the Edgar A. Poe Superbowl for selfless lit effort. You've just witnessed a demonstration of clean grammar, protecting the climax and creating an ending that leaves the reader conscious of a multitude of profound values and implications. Good show, my friend. SLH.

“she felt a little thrill shoot through her at the idea this bad boy might find her attractive.” – Why? She IS attractive, right? So what does it matter that Darren thinks so?

Taking drugs from someone she barely knows? Brilliant, not that Loving Wives are known for their intelligence, LOL!

“the man was a lecher who was always trying to sneak a peek down her blouse or up her skirt” – As someone who has done his fair share of leching, it is pretty hard to sneak a peek unless someone is putting herself on display!

“He nodded with grudging appreciation.” – Why grudging? It was HIS plan!

As I think others have said, Robert may be a hero, but she is a CRIMINAL, how the fuck can he get her released?

I agree that he might have been able to get her a REDUCED sentence (especially if she testifies), and maybe a nicer prison (if such a thing exists!), but total release? No way!

I DO think that even without prison time that she has finally REALLY learned her lesson.

To those idealists who sincerely believe a criminal could NOT be released from custody, a question: In the past several years, how many Al Queda TERRORISTS, with American blood on their hands, have been released to return to their murdering ways?

I did not really enjoy this tale, but I do respect it.

4*

ffr - interesting characters lead to interesting plots

They let the criminal hillary go . So a big old fuck you FBI

did the little old fella get his money back? hope so! i do like a happy ending.

But that doesn't quite add up does it? It's more of the average between 1 and 5, a 3. Or it might be the mean (1+2+3+4+5=15 /5= 3 [again]) or the median (5[1 to 5 is five numbers]+1=6 /2= 3 so we take the third number in the range, hey it's 3 {again})

This is giving me a headache...looks like this is a 3. Oh well.

Oh yeah...of course the Trumpista signs in as "anonymous." The real curiosity, is it fear of being seen for what you are, or is it the paranoia you're feeling as the white, windowless surveillance van cruises through your neighborhood.

Listen to the voices in your head and run...run away...they're getting closer. CLOSER!

THEY'RE HERE! 😱

For the guy that said fuck you FBI

Give me a break. Did you really think they were going to indict Hillary?

She was responsible for the deaths at the Bengazi Embassy

She and her husband have embezzled millions thru the Clinton Crime Foundation.

She deliberately lied about the emails and the classified content and destroyed them

Hell, she couldn't even help herself from OPENLY cheating in the debate.

And the moron sheep in your country are actually going to vote for the scum.

Aside from that... pretty good story Francis.

Just too long. I found myself skipping over parts.

It is a shame the cheating cunt got off scott free though. Especially after her disrespect, dishonour, and contempt for her husband.

There should have been some kind of punishment.

Other than that pretty well done... an easy 3 1/2 stars

Keep your political opinions to yourself, dummy! You obviously have no clue about what happened.

How did I know the husband was going to let her go free. It was telegraph from the moment she started to get involve. So idiotic. In reality even if the husband had a lot of pull within the FBI, he would not have been able to just pull her out of the holding cell. Anyway, it was a good reading though, telegraphed. 4****

But different is good, especially in the "Loving Wives" category. I liked the story even though the ending was somewhat predictable. I liked it right up until the end. Old Spongebob should never have sprung her. He should have just let her do the time she had coming. She deserved it. 4 Stars.

Do the crime, do the time. Wasted an excellent story due to ending.

Why did he bail her out? Saving her life wasn't enough?

Robert should let her ROT in Federal Prison!!! And cut Darrens balls off.

not read the last sentence? 'She couldn't decide whether her unexpected and wholly undeserved redemption was an act of kindness by Robert or the harshest punishment he could have inflicted on her.'

It wasn't one or the other, it was both...

No way in hell she walks. Conspiracy, money laundering, theft, bribery, etc, etc. REALLY IMPOSSIBLE ENDING. Ruined the rest of the story. Change it.

There is no way she doesn’t go to prison. Do the crime - do the time. You just had to make hubby a Softee and let her skate. Don’t think so.

Did wimpy ending

Intermodal theft, organized crime are both a Federal crime and scams that cross state lines can also be investigated. I don't see the Fed's just letting her out the side door but they could have offered her immunity for her testimony, it would have been an eye opening interview with the US District Attorney and have Robert view it from behind a mirror or by CCTV. The bad thing is this writer hasn't written anything since 2015. Wish he was still contributing.

Just to set the record straight, if both he and she took Molly there is NO way he could have sex with her. Molly kills a man's erection for at least 6-8 hours.

I am a solid fan of this writer. Some of the best LW stories on the site are part of his body of work. Even when his ending are less than satisfying, his storylines are original and his style superb. That said, this ending, with Shannon getting off Scott free, makes no sense. Why should she walk when she is as guilty as Darren who faces prosecution on a number of felony charges? A rare brain fart for RM.

The writing was up to the author's standards. I am not a fan of the story however. To me, Loving Wives tales have to have more of the impact of the desertion upon the aggrieved spouse. I suppose we are to accept that her descent into whoredom and loss of face in the eyes of family and friends is sufficient punishment for her crimes.

Really enjoyed the story and this author. It would be nice to think that we have an honest, heroic FBI and FBI agents but I beginning to doubt it more and more.

Yet another wife gets off Scott free I'm sensing a pattern here?🤣🤣🤣

Nothing in this plodding yarn set my libido on fire, but it was well written so 3 points.

A turn about con, ironic.

Her desperate prayers were answered, no?

A blessing or a curse?

Love hurts.

The wife is a perfect example of the saying, "When a person SHOWS you who they are, believe them."

3starrs

Interesting.