by StoryTeller07
No explanation how the neighbours son was able to break into their house or why. No explanation why he wouldn't wake her up. One minute it's daylight, the next its night time. No supper, no anything.
If you're going to write shit, have the common fucking courtesy to keep it to yourself.
In sleepy Ohio towns doors are not locked, and later he says he didn't deliver his moms message. Youths don't bother with meal times. It took her a long time to dress, and you know what women are like. She said she was ready, but that meant almost, so another hour was lost. Then they went to the bathroom, and she noticed her make-up wasn't quite right.
He had a snack in his bedroom because he's a big fat kid. See, now you made me say it, poor kid, nasty Anonymous!
In the heat of the moment, in a panic, all sense of time and sensibility was lost. They rushed around in circles so much they went into a time loop and ended up losing a couple of hours.
Have you ever watched a movie, or read a book? Nothing too taxing for your angry and over emotional brain. Everything that happens can't be included to keep it real. How often do people go to the bathroom in fiction? Do they even have a toilet on the Enterprise in Star Trek? Do they use something as mundane as toilet paper? I bet you use your hand.
Don't worry that women in my stories are being embarrassed and humiliated, its the theme, and some women like it (that's why I'm writing these stories, its what they want, by email).
If that theme isn't liked then read chapter 2 of Mistaken Identity. I enjoyed writing the revenge scene at the end. I wish I could write more gender equal story lines where the woman was the strong hero and they ruled the roost. We have a woman prime minister now, and I'm sure she will be sensible and do a good job. Men tend to play and need to make their mark, in whatever they do, whereas a woman just gets on with the job, and does her best.
Great re-creation of one of his movies.
Of course, it just might be your hashish brownies talking.
Most of your other stories good but this is so poorly written almost comical