by Goldeniangel
I was initially disappointed how he took her the first time, expecting that chapter to be her virginity loss, but I think you have done a marvelous job of creating sympathy for Allison, and keep your readers guessing. I still would like to see Allison break down at some point and tell Todd off...she's been a trooper going through with the bet and blackmail, but I'd like to see him developing some feelings fr her too. At some point I'd like to see him get a little jealous of some guy's attention to her, maybe when they aren't at a date, but when they are at some shared event/party. I'd also like to see her tell Todd that she was a virgin...somehow fight back the 'slut' definition he has given her and make him realize that these are her first true sexual experiences. I'd like to see him have some remorse for treating her like this, and maybe 'make it up' to her.
I particularly love how well you are capturing her reluctance...the section in his office was dead on fabulous. This is nonconsent/reluctance with a real story and real emotions. Let them talk more too...I love it when a writer can capture the character's voice, and you are doing that here.
MORE!!!!
Nobody deserves to be treated like this. That Todd is a total toad. I hope she tell her parents about this, and Todd is made to pay..A LOT.
wish small-minded people wouldnt poke their ugly little heads in every other minute to talk about how "sick" or "depraved" something is.
honestly, this is good...and i hope you mantain the same style
You are a talented story teller..
Those that are easily offended really should go do something else, some place else. What did you expect to find here ?
I couldn't agree more with "Anonymous" and her suggestions. I hope to see some of that as I continue reading.
Already marked you as a favorite and looking forward to reading more of your work! Fantastic!!!!
It's not how he treats her, nor the fact that she did it to herself..... (She has other methods of bringing his cruel and unusual treatment of her to a finish....) It's the fact that this story, in particular, just didn't grab me. It's boring.
I read these episodes with morbid fascination. Stimulating to imagine as fantasy yet tinged with discomfort about the hazards to Allison, if a real situation, of unprotected sex and the psychological manipulation in helping her recognise her own turn-ons.
Well done for balancing these drives in the story. You are talented!
Slowly she turns, already caught in the web but still denying it.
Finding this story very exciting in an almost disturbing way. As they say; pride cometh before the fall, but how far must she fall? Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.