by HorseEatsFish
Nice, and all is going very well now that Ian is out of the picture for the night :)
You can always rely on Daddy to come to the rescue. Can't wait for the next episode.
Normally I only go with mom and son stories but I have a thing about shaving a woman's private region then take the father doing it to his daughter you got my attention. When will we get part 2?
Thanks for the positive responses. I have started on Pt. 2. Hope to submit in a couple of weeks, max.
Is the Boyfriend " Really " working ? Let's get to hear what is happening there before you completely focus on Dad's dinner and " Desert " !
Great start.. I agree have boyfriend getting caught cheating, maybe being seen in the same restaurant.. Will be waiting for next chapter
When a young girl needs to get shaved down there, it's obviously a job for her father. No one can be as careful with his baby girl's adorable little coochie as her own daddy.
Great concept and not at all impossible; given the right circumstance, family, and preferences (to shave or not to shave). That said, you need an editor. There are loads of volunteer editors in this website. For chapter two, I encourage you to check the main page for a listing and approach one of them. Once you have your draft, submit it for ideas and corrections. An editor worth his or her salt should be able to recommend fleshing out some sections, scaling back others, ensuring proper or appropriate colloquial syntax, and ensure you're using the correct verb tense (you had a couple of pluperfect subjunctive phrases that you could have done a better job on). Be sure to credit the editor's involvement at the beginning of your work. That's the polite thing to do. Otherwise, it was a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
I really enjoyed your story. Remined me of the time when my oldest stepdaughter asked me to help her shave herself when she had her arm in a sling and her mom was out of town.
Very HOT, sensual and very well done. Yes, its better for Dad to shave as he knows what damage a sharp razor can do and of course; he would want his daughter's 1st date to be very special. Dads are very protective too. I think her Dad asking if he can take her to dinner, is a very special thing and prevents total disappointment in a special date with a guy she is very interested in.
Now it seems a sexual component may be floating around here and that will will leave to you, the author. Thank you.
Wow! That was a great read! The buildup was just right. I can't wait to know what daughter and daddy are going to do.
MORE MORE MORE! Please really soon...
But seriously, learn your tenses. Constantly changed from present to past to conditional and it was totally distracting. Also, Trish is 110 lbs at 5'10 and therefore severely underweight. Seriously, why the hell do people default to 110 for a perfect weight? For 5'10 a very thin but not gross weight would be 130. Sorry to nitpick, just facts are important to me.
I think you got a few good words of advice in the comments about style that will help sharpen things up. One of the particularly positive elements of your style is that it lets the reader get inside the heads of the characters, i.e. not just the basic narrative of events that too many authors use.
What was most intriguing was the innovative premise you employed and they way you made it plausible. There is the element of how a normal situation transforms into something erotic. The intrigue is enhanced as the parties involved don't know where this is going and are not entirely sure how they feel about it. Keep that up and you will be adding the type of thoughtful stories that Literotica needs.
she would be anorexic at ,,,,5'10" and 110lbs that is the ideal weight for me at 5'1...she can't reach down to her pubes, he shaved them off...never would any woman who only waxes wait for her hair to grow out an inch before goinñ again..she would have a set monthly appointment at least ....and at some poinnt used a razor on legs and under arms . otherwise loved it.