All Comments on 'Public Static Void'

Loved it. Great cyberpunk! Feels like it could be expanded and slowed into a whole novel with more twists and turns, but great world building. Tight story. Got all the stuff I want from it! Thanks for writing for geek day.

Great read. You nailed the main pillars of the cyberpunk genre with ease. Oppressive, dystopian atmosphere - check. Worn-out main protagonist with serious issues - check. Intriguing tech - hell yeah! And the most important thing for me: Everything has it's price and you were willing to have your protag pay it in full. Respect for that.

I initially thought Lottie was too lifelike at first, but when you unveiled the reason why, it all made perfect sense. Compliment for the pacing - after the very long sex scene, you fired off the twists in rapid succession, ending on a nice, fat "BOOM!". Well done!

If you find the time, give this little gem another edit pass or two. There were some instances of missed words or somewhat oddly structured sentences, but nothing which would detract from my reading enjoyment. I would have liked a few dashes of extra detail here and there (what kind of tats Ada had, for example. With a girl like that, I'd think "circuit board" or "tech detail", not neccessarily "floral") but in the end this didn't feel like your first outing in the cyberpunk/sci-fi genre. It had the requisite grit and nastiness, plus the little bits of humanity which so nicely contrast all the crap the corporations dish out.

Yep, yep. This was what I hoped to read when I got that little taste of your story early on. :) I anticipated, I chuckled, I grimaced, and purred, and I hoped. That was the ride I wanted, you gave it to me. Thank you.

And a weird synchronicity happened, too. I think when you revamped the transportation/travel aspect of the story a little, not only do we have definite Blade Runner and Neuromancer nods, but also some very heavy Judge Dredd in the organization of the population... and, by sheer chance (HA!), years ago after signing a petition to see Karl Urban perform again as Dredd in a sequel, just yesterday I received an invite to follow the development of a Dredd TV show that arose out of that petition... (http://megacityone.com/). Weird timing! But I'll take it. Long live Cyberpunk! :)

But moving away from that, I read this story twice to make sure I "mined" everything I could. One thing struck me (beyond the solid grasp of the genre), and it was your main character and how he thinks about sex. It's hard for me to describe (it's a "linguistic experience"?), but there was a time where, because of the need for a drug, we didn't know much about his sexuality, only slowly learning his disdain at the idea of fucking skindolls (not saying he doesn't have a good reason or two....).

Then, after that monkey is fed, with the arrival of Candy, now we do. That was a really good scene, especially being short. There was a sharpening of your word choice in those parts, starting with Candy, followed through with Lottie, that really sounded like a distinct voice which was both "not the narrator" and "not female" and somehow blended together a really, really complicated history with women. I heard "Rayce" as loud and clear as I could. This contrasted with other points when his thoughts were fuzzy from withdrawal or alcohol, or he recalled memories and parts of his culture with a numbed/cynical mindset--which is how we were introduced to him. So truly, from a "word composition" viewpoint, great job, there.

You can write the tech, you can write the character, you can write the setting. *fistbump* ^_^ I am incredibly grateful that you finished this for the event. I think I also agree with your earlier comment, this could easily be a whole novel (actually writing out the parts of the action which were summarized, maybe giving yourself more than 48 hours to develop a relationship), but I *definitely* enjoyed the "triple distilled" version. ;)

But I think Etraski covered it.

I loved the Blade Runner-esque feel of this. I like not having all my questions answers but I can see many of your regular readers demanding more from you with this as a beginning of Lottie's story.

It was a great read thanks!

Particularly liked the language with words like proprioception. For a time I wondered if more senses would be introduced. Thank you for a good story.

I didn't see the ending coming, but once it happened, it made perfect sense.

This story was very skillfully and enjoyably done. Your writing is a pleasure to read. You have a good feel for words; sometimes I read your sentences aloud to enjoy the sound of them.

Good work!

"The next morning, Rayce awoke with his cock both rock hard and slightly sore."

I believe this is the jeopardy answer to the question: what is a male's ultimate dream condition?

A lot going on here, with intriguing darts off into spectral mind-stretching territory. Not my normal reading arena, but interesting.

Yeah, I guess it IS the only solution sometimes. Great cyberpunk, as others have said. Definite novel potential. Or even RPG potential. With the right mix of players, I could see myself stealing this premise for a Cyberpunk 2020 game. Now where'd I put those old R. Talsorian books?

Really reminds me of blade runner universe.

Good job, thanks for sharing your work!