by rachel_hirt
Very nicely written. I can't wait for more. Thank you for taking the time to pay attention to detail.
I loved this steamy lesbian story - I hope it will be continued - and soon!
Thank you.
I absolutely loved your wicked little piece here. Very nicely written with enough of a lingering tease and gradual fulfillment. I am now off to check out your other 'submissions'. Looking forward to more from you, Rachel!
Interesting and mysterious. I'd like a little more physical detail. I await the follow-up.
A pity you are straight otherwise I would have loved to be taken prisoner by you. About 40 years ago possibly more! Great story being bi myself it is just so delicious to have a man as a pet and a woman to make love with.
L.O.L. Janice
I commend you for your effort. Extremely well written with an excellent conclusion. Please do continue.
Oh my god fucking wonderful, just wish they were bi and that I could do them both, one at a time and both together
Absolutely adored this tale and hope you will see fit to continue in a sequel! The whole setup set me on fire and I confess to drenching myself as I read it, imagining being Carly- then Debbie- then Carly again. Nicely written with just the right pace to make it feel real. I loved it!!
how could you not have written a sequel to this lovely and entertaining story? Mmmm... you really should.
I agree that more chapters could be added to this one. Your writting is terrific with the quick build-up and sexy action. Future chapters could have Carly begging Debbie to use her and abuse her for mutual sexual satisfaction. Lot's of possibilities. Write more, please.
You definitely need to add to this! Just the thought of being tied up with someone sitting on my face makes me so wet
it could use lots more detail, more on the last few paragraphs, when Debbie went down on Carly. as in making her (Carly) beg, and denial of her expected orgasm.
Take this story and expand the depth of Carly's submissive character. And Debbie's Domme desire.
5๐'s and a dozen roses ๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น๐น
Not really even though it was written well, it should not go anything past the first chapter