Purgatory

"I do want to see him, at some point. Jack, you don't know....the full me."

"Whatever that means. Well, I'll run you up there tomorrow and introduce you. There's an older guy who runs it, with his daughter. People come and go."

"Great. Now how have you two been doing? Do you have baby pictures?"

They did.

The next morning I was introduced to Deedee. She was a cutie. Then Jack drove me up the mountain.

PAXTON FARM

We passed four guys jogging as we approached the place. It had a circular drive, and a large wooden structure. In the back, I could see cabins, and another big building. That one was metal.

When we pulled into the drive, we were met by a fellow who looked to be about sixty, and a younger woman, maybe my age. Both were dressed in loose sweats, sneakers and watch caps. The fact that they were out there seemed to me to indicate that they had some warning of our arrival. Jack and I got out, and approached the two

Jack said, "Hello, Manny. Hi, Jen. This is my buddy from college, Brian Bixler. He's looking for some instruction and practice for self-defense. I wondered if you guys could provide that?"

The guy, Manny, said, "We have seven here now, and there is a spot, but we...well, we don't just take anyone. Perhaps you should come inside and explain."

I said, "I can do that."

He ushered us into the big building just as the runners arrived and went around back. The place was not opulent, but was well furnished in a simple way. The entry led to a large room, with doorways off it. There was a balcony around three sides, and apparently rooms off that. Wood stoves were at each end of the room, both lit.

Manny invited us to sit, and invited me to tell my story. I did. I left nothing out. The woman, Jen, asked, "Are you anticipating being a boxer, and fighting this fellow?"

"I hadn't considered it. Maybe. I only need to be better prepared in case I run into him. Well, to be honest, I do intend to run into him."

Manny asked me to stand. I did. He stood in front of me, looking me up and down. Then he slapped me, right handed, and immediately tried to do the same left-handed. He hit me with the first one, but I blocked the second. He stepped back.

I hadn't even touched my face, where he slapped me. It was a quick, hard slap. But I held his gaze. He smiled.

"You can stay." He nodded at Jack. "Thank you, Jack, for thinking of us." It was a form of polite dismissal, and Jack stood up.

"Take good care of Brian. If you need anything, Brian, let me know."

I nodded, and we got my kit from the truck. Jack drove away, back down the mountain.

Jen had walked outside with us. "Come with me." She said it in a businesslike way. Nevertheless, I got the impression that she was not pleased with me. She led me to a small cabin around the back. It had the number six on a post outside. She led me in. It was small, with a cot, bathroom, and a desk with a reading lamp.

"While you are here, your name will just be 'Six.' We have a clientele that is interested in keeping identification private. You are not part of that. But the number thing is universal. Manny and I and the day staff can be called by name."

"Okay. I assume that any curiosity I have about the others should remain private to me."

"Of course. And your own privacy will be respected as well." She smiled. Jen was probably my age. She was also probably my height. She was slimish, but certainly not skinny. She looked strong, in a lean way. She had brown hair in a pony tail and brown eyes. When she smiled, she looked very pretty. I decided to try to get her to smile as much as I could -- within reason.

I said, "What happens now?"

"You settle in, come to the main building for lunch. We'll have a plan for you at that time. I mean my father will."

"Okay. Can I wander around. I assume lunch is a ways off."

"Lunch at 12:30. And you may go where you want to go."

I unpacked. I noticed that a set of sweats was on the bed. I wondered, for a second, how they got there, and whether they'd fit me.

I had a laptop computer, and plugged it in. I found two internet connections; one password protected. I activated my phone. I used the computer to check my old phone activity. There were some messages from the police, and from Kim's parents. The police only wanted to have me come see the prosecutor. Kim's folks wanted to tell me that she had been arrested for threatening me over the phone. She might lose her job. Gee, too bad.

I texted my lawyer with my new number. Then I checked on Jamal. He had not pulled out of his next bout, set for a week away.

I walked outside and looked around. I was curious about the metal building. The first door I came to was unlocked. I went inside. The interior was well lit. Two men were sparring with each other, if you could call it that. Manny was supervising. Both of the guys were about the same size -- 6'2", maybe 190-200. One was blonde and one black. Neither had been with the group running. I watched what they did. And what I saw was pretty impressive. They punched and kicked, swung elbows and lifted knees, but all very controlled. They wore padding and headgear. A number of blows attempted got through. Most were blocked. At one point the black man knocked the blonde down. But he quickly rolled away and rose. Then he struck a good blow to the thigh of his opponent. Manny blew a whistle and the two stopped.

Manny clapped, as in applause. "Very good, both. Very good."

The two filed past me and out of the building. Both nodded to me.

Manny walked up and said, "You see that we train people here for combat. What you saw was a sample, but gentle."

"Not so gentle, maybe."

"We try to keep people healthy during the practices. I say to you that you should take care to always be ready. Tell me how the boxer was able to slap you twice. I was not holding back on you, and you stopped my second blow. That has happened to me only once. So, explain."

"I'm not sure. I...I haven't thought that through. Of course, he's a professional boxer."

"I assure you, young man, that his slaps were no quicker than mine. And you had more reason to expect something from him than from me. So....?"

"I was agitated about the situation. Possibly that impaired my reaction time."

"That's a good response. But -- agitated? Only agitated?"

"Okay. I was filled with rage. No doubt about that."

"A lesson, then, about rage and competence." Manny walked away and through the door.

I wandered around the facility and found it very well equipped. Weights, aerobic machines, some stuff I'd never seen. And a bunch of wood splitters. I hefted a six pound one. I looked out the window of the door nearby, and saw a very large pile of wood, ready to be split. I knew that the place burned wood. I went out the door with the maul.

I had about two hours before lunch. I had always enjoyed splitting wood. It was a task that required attention to the detail of the wood grain, and also explosive but accurately directed power. I started on a twenty inch round of what I thought was oak. After bouncing a few strokes off of it, I settled back into what I recalled from years before. And I just kept going. I was in the zone with it for some time, until I heard a horn go off. I looked at my watch. Lunch time. I turned to go to the main building and saw Manny and Jen watching me. I looked at the wood pile. There was a very large pile of split wood all around me.

"I'll stack it after lunch." I jogged up to them.

Manny said, "No need. I'll have someone else get that. I need to see you at the facility." He nodded toward the metal building.

The three of us walked around the 'facility' and went inside the main lodge. I washed up in a lavatory, and joined a group of men in line for grub. Very little was said.

There were four tables, and I sat at one with the two fellows that had been practicing at the facility. Manny tapped his glass, and all of us looked at him.

"Gentlemen, this is Six. He is new here, and is somewhat of a special project, in that he has less experience than our normal trainee. Nevertheless, he would not be here unless he had

abilities. So, please do not misjudge him." He sat down. Everyone was looking at me. I waved. That provoked a round of chuckles. Then we all went back to eating. The food was good, not fancy. At 1:15 everyone got up and went about some sort of business, after clearing their plates.

I went with Manny to the facility. Two men were also with us -- two and four. Two was a short, wide guy, black hair. Four was taller, but also wide, also with dark hair. They chatted in a Slavic language as we walked. We went inside, and the two of them went to a large mat, and togged up with light gloves and pads. Manny took me to another part of the place, where there was another mat.

"I will show you some of the basics of what we do here. I want to emphasize that the training is intense, and that everything is allowed. You understand -- everything. The first rule is survival."

"Okay. Survival. Okay."

Manny and I togged up with fatter gloves, and pads. But then he had me repeating moves he made. He would kick. Then punch the air. He would twirl and kick. He did some combinations of kicks and punches and punches and kicks. We each had a heavy bag. I watched him and tried to imitate what he did. We worked for an hour. Manny did not seem tired at all. I was tired, but I had a lot of stamina, and not much body fat. He gave me a short break.

"You performed very well. You were able to imitate what I did in a very short time. So, we will move on to other things. This will require patience. But you have demonstrated that today."

We faced the bags and Manny twirled and elbowed he bag as he jumped into the air. The elbow would have landed about head level. It took me five tries before I could do it. Then it took the rest of the afternoon for me to be able to do it every time. At the end, Manny put marks -- X's -- on the bag and told me to hit that mark with the elbow. It took four tries, and then I hit the mark each time thereafter. When we had completed this exercise, Manny turned away for a second. As he did, I saw him smile, as if to himself. I wondered about that. What I had done did not seem to me to be very difficult.

I noticed that Two and Four had completed their exercises, which seemed to have involved actual fighting. They were watching Manny and me from across the room.

Two walked up. "He's not such a novice, Manny." He said it in good, but accented English.

"He is, though." The four of us walked back toward the main building. It was 5:30. We had been at the facility for some hours. When we neared the place, Two and Four veered off toward their cabins. Manny told me to shower and dress in new sweats for dinner. I was certainly grateful for the hot water.

Dinner was also good. We had chops and slaw, fresh rolls. No dessert. Water or milk to drink. I ate with Seven and One. They were obviously American, and knew each other. I chatted with them about the football season. Both of them were big enough to have played ball. Both were sandy haired, and maybe 6'3". One was slimer than Seven, but not slim. They seemed personable, but no personal details were discussed. The three of us decided that the Ravens had a great chance at the championship. But not the Redskins.

Dinner ended at seven. As I was walking out toward my cabin, Jen came up to me.

"You are an expert at chopping wood?"

"I used to chop a lot, when I was younger. It took me a minute to get back in the swing. But the task is hypnotic, and I enjoy it."

"Well, whenever you want to chop -- in your free time -- feel free. I watched you. It was like watching a ballet. And also a machine. I can't say I ever saw something like that."

"Thanks. I think. What's the schedule for my days?"

"Up at five. A run. Breakfast at six. At seven, individual activities until lunch. I'll pick you up for that tomorrow. Lunch, and afternoon practice until four-thirty or five. Dinner, and relax at night."

"Okay. I had a good time today with your father. What are you going to teach me?"

"Oh, you'll see. You know, Brian, I believe you have a tendency to think everyone can do what you can do. Physically, I mean. But you have natural abilities that others don't. Did you ever do sports, you know, growing up?"

"Not really. Family life wasn't so great. Sometimes I went to play basketball on playgrounds. Maybe some ping pong at the 'Y'. I was good at those things. But I never thought I was some super athlete. I'm just an average guy."

"Um hum. You graduated college at nineteen? Jack said that."

"I did. I got a GED early so I wouldn't have to live at home."

She turned to me, "Brian, you are not an ordinary man. You must understand that, in some way. And I believe that you need to keep it in mind. Not to be overconfident. Just to be realistic. Being realistic is a supremely important thing." We had reached my cabin, and she turned and walked away.

I watched her walk away. I watched her very carefully. She appeared to have felt that, because when she was about thirty yards off, she turned and looked right at me. That look lasted maybe a full minute. Then she walked off again. I realized that I was erect. I wondered if she was wet. I did what was needed to get some sleep that night.

I got up at five, because a loudspeaker broadcast a gong sound. I put on some sweats and sneakers and went outside. Four guys were obviously going to run. I joined them. There was a path along the side of the mountain. One and Seven led the way. Five was back with me, a few yards. All of us were running easily. Then the trail turned uphill. One and Seven kept pace for a while. Five, who looked like a runner, dropped off. I kept with them, and then I decided to get a real workout. I passed them and continued to the top of the hill. They arrived a minute later, and Five was soon there.

Seven said, "You sure have some wind, Six."

I replied, "Used to run a lot. That was a nice hill."

We all four jogged together down the hill to the farm.

Jen was waiting outside my cabin. She motioned me to follow her. There was a small facility attached to the back of the main building. As we approached it, I saw all seven of the others heading to the facility with Manny.

The small room contained a mat and fighting accouterments. Jen started putting on pads and then gloves. I hesitated, but followed suit.

"We're going to fight, Six. I understand that you maybe will hold back. If you do, I'll clean your clock. I'm not easy."

"Jen, I mean, is someone going to get hurt?"

"Nah. After a few times, you'll get the hang of it. Remember the moves you practiced."

She assumed a fighting stance, of sorts. "Hit me."

I used the punching technique Manny had shown me the day before. Before I knew what had happened, I was on the floor. Somehow, she had taken my arm and tossed me down. I looked up at her. She had a small smile on her face.

"That's a lesson. You pulled that punch. Any time you do that, you'll end up looking up at me."

"I was about to make some lewd remark. But I squelched it. I got up. She assumed a relaxed stance. I used a fake punch turning into a kick. She dodged the kick and hit me in the belly, hard. I dodged away. She advanced slowly. There wasn't a lot of room to maneuver. I tried a double punch -- right -- left. I hit her with the left, on the shoulder. Just after that she hit my head with a kick and I was down again. I rolled away, but came against the wall. She stood over me, waiting. I waited, bunched up against the wall. My head hurt, but my feet were against a hard surface so that I had leverage. Suddenly, she stepped to the side and kicked me in the chest. I sprang forward and shoved her as I rose. She actually stumbled backwards, and I pursued her, leaping with the elbow maneuver. I'm not sure what happened, or how. But I was flat on my back and her foot was on my chest.

"So," she said, "You can see that I don't need you to go easy on me. Maybe the other way around -- for now." She extended a hand and helped me up. I was sore in my belly. I looked at her. It was embarrassing. She smiled.

"You did very well, Six. You made me stumble. Of course, I could have killed you at any time."

"I'm well aware of that. It's emasculating. If you were a guy, I would have lost my temper for sure."

"Then you would have done worse. Being calm in adverse conditions is a true gift. You seem to have that capability. You lost all these fights to a girl. Yet you're still fairly calm."

"I...I..."

She smiled at me. "We'll keep practicing. And your lessons with my father will continue. Perhaps you will fight some of the others soon."

We resumed and the results were no different. At the end I could attack and still stay on my feet. That afternoon, Manny taught me two more maneuvers, subtle variations on the first two. I also watched One and Seven fight, with Jen being the referee, and mentor.

The week proceeded like that. Each morning Jen would kick my ass. And in the afternoon I would learn new variations from Manny. With Jen, I began to make some progress. I thought carefully about my strengths and weaknesses. Hand-eye coordination was my main strength. I was also quick, especially in the upper body. And I had strength. When I went against Jen the next day, I avoided kicks as much as possible. Instead, I attacked with fists and elbows. At the end of the session, we went quite a time before she put me down. She gave me a hand up, "You'll win soon. You've given it some thought."

"Some." I was staring at her. She was very attractive to me, and I wondered about her apparent lack of male companionship.

"Can you come over to my shack after dinner? I'd like to talk to you without violence."

"Eight. I'll come at eight. We can sit on the porch." She smiled and we walked away.

At eight o'clock on the dot, she appeared around the corner from the main house. She still wore sweats, as did I. But hers were teal, not grey. I wondered if it was a concession to style.

"I like the teal."

"Oh. It's our form of evening wear. Mine, at least." She sat on a rocker, and I on a stool opposite.

"I'm a direct person, Jen. I'm very attracted to you. Not because you can kill me in a few seconds, ether. I wondered about your life. Here and before."

She hesitated, "I've been doing this with my father since I was three. He and my mother started this school. My mom got ill with cancer, and four months later she died. I was twelve. My father has never remarried. I finished high school and did a two year stint in the Army. There I instructed in martial arts, after basic. I left the Army and came here. I felt my father needed me for the business, since it was booming and, as he says, good help is hard to find. I have been here with him for four years. In case you're wondering, I'm twenty-four. How about you? All I know is what happened to end your marriage -- if it is over."

I explained to her my sad family history, and my meeting Kim, marrying her.

She asked, "Aren't your curious about what happened? She was a loving wife, and suddenly a menace."

"I have given it some thought. Her folks told me that she had 'spells.' But they hadn't happened since she was fourteen. I should have asked more, I guess. But I assumed that she had been seduced by the boxer. He's very good looking."

"That doesn't explain why she was so cruel to you, Brian. She could have gently spoken to you and moved on. Instead, she subjected you to deep humiliation. If I were you, I'd be curious about that."

"You have a point. That's very perceptive."

"I'm sure you would have gotten to that. But you were too close and too emotional. I was able to look at it from an outside perspective. Then it was obvious."

"But still, a mystery about the scene at the house."