by StangStar06
stupid girl, but turned out to be better....still dont understand why she had to go with stan aftre second time...
Keep writing,
You are a damned good writer. I've thought so from the first time i read your first story. This was a great romance and it's even pretty realistic. You've got a girl with very low self esteem and a history of dating losers and she winds up enslaved to another asshole and not even really getting anything out of the relationship. And then you give us a happy ending. Keep writing.
I think you are really talented too. In fact, damned near in his league; and that, my friend, is pretty exclusive company.
I really enjoyed your story. You have a talent for story telling. You also can spell and have an excellant command of the English language. Hope to read more of your work.
The IDEA that she would listen to the slut room mate is beyond unbelievable. Then to ACTUALLY be SO STUPID as to LEAVE with Stan. For Gods sake that's why there are TAXI's.
This could have been a sweet romantic story, instead it's just dumb.
as I have enjoyed all your stories. Your writing is captivating. Timella came to her senses finally, but I still feel Brett deserved better treatment from his Timealla. Maybe her lower self-esteem explains all this but it's still sad to me. In the end I'm glad the couple got together and lived happily not to need Ch.2. I look forward to your next submission! Thank you.
Very nicely done. Well written with characters that we can care about. Timella didn't really seem too bright, but alls well that ends well. Thanks for an enjoyable read; there are been all too few lately.
Abso fuckin lutly fantastic. You must have had female direction for T's point of view. It was just too perfect!
I love your stories. You actually seem to have a tale to tell!
But tell me something. When are you going to finish Sophia?
I'm sorry, but I didn't like your main character. This was romance only in the fact that no matter how screwed up the person, no matter how screwed up the situation, no matter how badly one of the main characters is treated, they always, ALWAYS end up together and the author calls it a happy ending.
Nothing gets resolved, on average the reader never really warms back up to the main characters (unless the only thing you want is a happy ending no matter what it is) and its like watching a magic trick. Someone breaks a plate then a wand is waved and then "Poof" its fixed again.
I'm sorry you can write well, but some of the premises don't match your skill.
In this story you made me "hate" Timella.
I mean she had this guy and then she drops him like a hot rock to screw around with, yet another guy, who treated her like crap from the beginning. She threw away a date with him to test the waters, gave out a blow job for a ride home, and then kept seeing the guy that was beating her.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch,
Brett sat in the corner playing with himself, holding out for sainthood, waiting for the day she was through spreading her legs for every loser who came along and was ready to give up that life to be with him. Other women noticed him, but he wanted this woman who was sleeping with some guy who made her give him sex because her roommate said so, and he stayed broken hearted waiting in the corner until it was his turn at bat again, not wanting anyone else.
Come on, how pathetic is that?
Guy you made Brett sad and pitiful, not really romantic.
I mean I just didn't like him. I can't like or respect anyone who has so little self respect that they would pine away for a woman who spreading herself around like bee's dropping pollen for any man willing to give her a seconds worth of attention, especially after she tells the one man willing to fight for her she hates being used like this, and then she goes and does it again while he's watching and while he's trying to prove to her that there is more than this out there. And you write it so she just throws it away.
And even while I hated her character more, I just plain disliked Brett and never warmed back up to him.
If you had just had her actually "WORK" at winning him back once she actually realized what she had lost by being with Stan while Brett was the one, while she faced the fact that Brett was now actually "dating" (and sleeping with) other women, and it was now that "she" had to "prove to him" that he had what she wanted and that "she" was worth all the effort and trouble that he had early on worked towards, then I would have loved this story.
But that never happened.
A short blurb where she just comes to his house, after months of sleeping with a jerk and ripping Brett's heart because she listened to bad advice over and over again, and basically just yells him into submission doesn't make sense on average to most readers. Not after you worked so hard to make the readers dislike her for throwing away his heart and Rae for slutting around and giving her the advice that she took by the way that caused their problems.
You had the framework developed for a winner in this story, but at the end it's really like most other Romance stories, you break a plate called a relationship into a million pieces, stomp on the remains to rile up the reader, and then at the end you wave a magic wand and go "Ta da the relationship is now fixed" without putting the same level of work in to fixing the relationship in the story that you put into making the reader dislike how it got broken in the first place.
-Risq
PS: My god man.
I love the 69 Shelby GT500 convertible with the roll bar because it was made during the year I was born I and I would kill to have another Mustang (I've had two over my lifetime), but my god does every story you write have to have one? Every main character? I can tell you know your cars because you describe them in great detail, but could you talk about other cars too as a change of pace? Or if not, because you love them so much, maybe not go so much into detail about them?
It starts to detract from your story that every character has almost similar cars and do almost the same things with them. Your way to skilled in your writing but this is starting to be looked at as a crutch. =(
She becomes a slut; he forgives her. Hope he had her tested for a STD! Also, tied a 2x4 across his ass to keep from falling in. Let's face it, she is just as much a whore as Rae.
Not quite as pathetic as the one where the guy pushes his wife to get herself raped and then deserts he, but very disturbing.
I can't decide if you hate women worse than men or the other way around. Perhaps you just hate yourself.
This story was a sad tale of pathetic low life losers. No redeeming qualities at all.
but silly. A good exercise for you, like a musician practicing the scales: notes and chords, but no music
I don't get you turn your character into a prostitute. she had a credit car what happen to a taxi, walking to a bus stop, I remember losing my bus pass once and I walk all the way home even thought that I could have call my mom at work or someone else to pick me up. she basically has no pride, hey, she could have even called Brett. If she wanted to get fuck she could have just show up at brett house naked or something. I know that you can love someone but not like them. that relationship is a time bomb waiting to happen.
How about a sweet guy who is so stupid and naïve that he thinks he found a girl so special he needs to treat her like a princess, but the girl who claims she can’t find anyone nice, is such a stupid loser that when she does find a great guy she throws him away on some half-assed loser scheme concocted by her and a loser whore friend to manipulate the nice guy, so she can instead spend her time giving blow jobs in an alley to some asshole who treats her worse than crap. Such a depressing story! They’re both idiots and loser magnets. He’s attracted to idiot sluts with psycho tendencies that run from positive outcomes in their lives and who will inflict pain on him; and he better not treat her too good after the wedding or she’ll be running away from her happy endings again and on her knees in the alley with another one. Why does Brett want this girl? Masochism?
Romance? That's what this category is? How about mind-fuck? I could not have been more uncomfortable throughout that story. Your hero might have autism and the heroine is bi-polar and masochistic; the random other people in this story are so contrived and stereotypical that I was gagging the entire time. Here's the thing, I don't know why this story exists because it's not really erotic or good. I can understand bad erotica on this site... but I don't really get bad non-erotic lit. I understand this rant was long and brutal, but honestly, I needed to vent to justify the time that I lost in my life reading this.
Mustang man I gave this story the lowest score of any of your stories that I've read. All of the women were braindead sluts and the main character was brain dead as well. There was no one in the story to like. You really missed the target on this one.
I will just ignore this one since the others have been so good. Not that it wasn't well written. Like someone else said: Weird!!!!
But I liked it -
My only "complaint" - if Timella had finally grasped what she was worth and knew she was better than Stan that first night why not call the cab then and be done with it - why subject herself to the degradation for months. She was clearly not stupid but she was very damaged even when she "got better".
I doubt any one who could be as healthy as she clearly was on the way to being could allow themselves to dragged back that deep in to hell again.
But I never complain about a fairy tale ending lol
Just like I don't like wimps and cuckolds by choice I can't stand women with such low self esteem they would allow themselves be treated like this, even if it had been their history. Come on, get a life!
Great story! All about confusion, fear, and love. Why don't these other commentators look around at real life and see that this could really happen?
This is the first of yours I've read that I wasn't enthralled over. Still better than 99.9%of the cucky crap showing up on here lately.
Crappy story. Who would want a woman who was so screwed up she's suck off and fuck some loser for a ride home. She couldn't even think for herself and just listened to whatever her "friend" Rae wanted her to do. Crazy bitch found a decent man who tried to give her what she wanted and that wasn't enough so she had to play mind games and screw around on him. Why would she expect Brett to call her when Greg was most likely filling Brett in on his double dates with her. Brett deserved better friends than Greg or Timma and especially Rae.
You are a very talented writer and I really like a lot of your stories. But in this one it seems like you reverted to your cheating wife stories and just did not know how to finish the story and hit fast forward to the end and hoped no one would notice. Such a shame to take a promising story and flush the whole thing with less than a page to wrap it up.
I know what a shock right -
This is a different route for you I agree - but using a depressed woman with serious issues as the foil worked for me -
Combining her with a depressed male who is not sure of his own value and you get 2 fucked up people who cannot communicate nearly as well as they can think.
Both did st00pid things she was just self destructive her BFF was at least as stupid as was without morals.
Nice finish though - stupid people need to be tolerant of their and others failures - heh
Didn't really care for the subject matter in this one but still an interesting read. The job of a writer is to take us on a journey and have us live the trip. You do this as good as any writer I have ever read. So even though I didn't like the destination, the trip was still worth going and earns a 5.
but I didn't like the end.
She is so stupid and unlikable - she will hurt him again, that's for sure
soo, happy endind is unbelievable this time
3 stars
story but, she could have gotten a cab ride home and not have to had Stan take her. Pretty stupid.
I hated the feelings this story created in me so much I had to skip from Stan in the car on pg 4 expecting to get fucked for a ride to the last few pp's on page 5. She wasn't homeless, she could have gotten a cab the 2nd time, she could have called Brett from the vacant lot the first time, she could have done dozens of things.
Timella was drawn to be a spineless, amoral loser who would be incapable of leading an upstanding life through the normal challenges and disappointments that come with any marriage.
But, I really just hated the story because I felt like I was being dragged through the mud. I really hate the feelings it has left me with. Yuck.
I have never rated any of SS06s stories less than a 4 before, and 90% have been 5s. I hated this one, not for the writing, but for what it forced me to feel. Did I say yuck?
Where did she get the impression that Stan raped her?! She willingly sucked his dirty stinking dick for a ride home, when she could've A.) call a cab-- B.) call Brett for a ride or C.) walk! She sold her pussy for a ride a home; that makes her a cheap whore. Her friend was a whore & she became one willingly. she wasn't raped nor was she forced. She had a good thing with Brett but because he wasn't trying to fuck her she listened to her alley slut friend. Instead of her raping Brett or talking to him she wants to play highschool games. I didn't agree with them getting back together, even as she was still calling & stalking Brett she was still slutting it up with her gutter trash roommate . She claims Stan raped her but that's a lie, he charged her for fucking him, she's buying him drinks & putting gas in his car; she was paying him to stick his dirty dick into her, why would she continue to see Stan if he raped her? This story was idiotic, the characters were losers with no moral compass, Brett is such a loser, he allowed his dick to do the thinking for him, Rae is such a slut I'm surprised she isn't riddled with diseases, timmie is such a stupid slut that I honestly wished she killed herself-- That's rare! I honestly hated every character none of them had any sense.
The 3 comments below summed this one up perfectly.
Sorry, but the whole Stan thing just ruined it. It didn't fit her or the story arc. It also killed it as "Romance".
God, what pathetic fucking losers. You made such morons out of them, that it makes me think they kinda deserved whatever the fuck happened to them.
Thank You For Reminding Me That The Human Race Is The Lowest Life Form On The Face Of The Earth. Are You A Expert In Sanitation? You're Going To Have To Work Really Hard To Clean This Garbage Up. Reading This Made Me Feel Ashamed To Be Human.
Yeah it's fiction but this is fucked up, worst shit ever and I honestly mean ever read.
I would have given this one five stars but for Stan. His character did not really fit and was not needed. But as always, well written.
Everything before it worked and was believable... even her stupidly listening to her friend and going on a "date" with someone else...
But no WAY she'd have not realized INSTANTLY when Stan told her to pay that THIS guy was a loser of the worst caliber and that she'd be better off at home, horny and wanting Brett than spending even ONE more moment with this guy...
Pretty much every one of her actions involving Stan after that was unbelievable as they were all based on her being totally stupid from that first action...
Timella might very well be a loser magnet but when the loser is OBVIOUS you can't make yourself believe she'd be with him for anything.
Timella is terminally STOOPID!
She tells a guy who is OBVIOUSLY smitten that she longs for the days when people waited till they got married to have sex. Then, when he respects her wishes, instead of letting him know she feels differently about it with him, she plays silly games. Why did she expect him to tell her no? They weren't officially exclusive, he had no right to tell her no, MAYBE he could have told her he'd rather she didn't, but it was still her choice.
And why does she listen to her slut roommate who ruined her date?
As others have said, once the "date" with Stan turned into a disaster why didn't she cut her losses and RUN, don't walk back to Bret?
I've been re-reading Stang's stories, and while I still think that Timella was brain dead, I guess I'm just a sucker for a happy ending.
5 *'s
Just hated this one. Mostly because Timella turned out to be stupid. If she'd stood up to Stan instead of letting him have his way with her I would have really liked the story and probably would have given it five stars.
I guess I don't really know what love is. When you meet someone you love, you start playing games with his emotions, then you become a slut for some Loser with a capitol L, not once but over a couple months. If this is love, who needs it. This girl is going to break his heart in the future. She is just another stupid, stupid Stangstar woman. She'll probably have another story about her stupid cheating in the future.
But (always a but), SS06 does write one hell of a story that I enjoy reading.
Brett needs to run not walk to the nearest clinic to get checked for STD's, crabs and TOTAL STUPIDITY!. This failed every test for romance, love, affection and/or fidelity on the sluts part in the book of sluts. For all that I truly enjoy most of Stang's stories this one totally fails the test.
would anyone want to go out with a slut like that.
God if she runs out of gas she'll blow somebody for a gallon.
T was the worst part of this story. ANYONE!! who done what she did is a gutter SLUT and deserves the ditch.................
That's the word you have to be concerned about first with Timella, how many communicable STD's does she have to pass on.
Also, she's a stupid, self-centered, selfish slut so maybe Brett should consider that too.
Given her actions to date, don't even think of making her mad! She'll be out fucking some barfly in his backseat before you can spell gonorrhea!
Stupid characters all, contrived reconciliation, unbelievable and insulting to any self respecting person of either gender!
Loved it! Rae's Fart! Now that's Funny! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic Story with us! Love you all! Bye. Greg. Oh 10 stars = 100 %. Bye.
This has to be the worst story stangstar has ever written. I couldn't even finnish reading it.
No way I could touch her after her slutting around the way she did. The guy gives her the choice walking or a blowjob and even though she had her phone and Brett's phone number who would have dropped everything and come to get her. She sucks the dick. This girl is a fucking cum dump and she always will be. She just hadn't found someone who recognized her for what she is to the point of the story she ended. But when that guy comes along and starts treating her like crap, she'll jump at the chance to revisit her youth.
I've always hated that trick. "To see if a guy or woman likes me, let's make them jealous.
That shit never ends well.
I would have liked to see a little more story after they got together, but over all, a good story.
It was just terrible. Ugh, terrible.. I'm sorry but that's what it was. Your characters were terrible people. Rae was selfish as it gets and Timella was plain weird. She was selfish just ranting about her past and forgetting what she herself said that she'd have sex after marriage and to top it all she was dumb to listen to Rae. She couldn't even stand up for herself. Brett - weakling. Sure People get hurt but you made Brett a pitiful guy.
Greg - ugh , a cheater. Stan - douchebag.. horrible story
It must be one of the lamest I've read. She is a stupid cunt and he is a hen picked wimp. They are two flawed, their relationship is never going to work. She'll be cheating on him as soon as she gets bored and he'll be licking her lover's cum out of cunt just to keep her. Absolute crap.
Story started out good. Quickly turned to garbage after the jealousy idea. Can anyone be as big as a slut as Rea. Were you in a hurry to write the ending? Trash. Timella, poor excuse as a human being. Wouldn't touch her for anything.
Why is it always the good guys fault that she is a turbo slag?
I can never be with the Timella fuck of a girl. After she went to the bar and saw the kind of douche bag Stan was, why didn't she call a cab. Stupid fucker. Cum slut. And she pretends to be a damsel in distress. Fuck her. If I were Brett, I would have kicked her ass back to the alley where she belonged. A tartering twerp.
Title I'm not going to give my opinion of the people in the story, I respect the man's music too much and this song is a favorite. In fact I'm listening to his Sound Stage concert on YouTube at this very moment and I'm enjoying it one hell of a lot more than I did this story. A couple of historical facts: Today September 7, 2019 is the 69th anniversary of the launching of the Edmund Fitzgerald. The last words spoken over the radio from the Fitz Captain Ernest McSorley was a response to the question from Captain Bernie Cooper of the Arthur M. Anderson asking how they were doing, McSorley responded "We are holding our own." Then she disappeared from the radar on November 10, 1975. One more, the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum located at the old lighthouse on Whitefish Point in Michigan's UP contains one of the Fitz's life boats as well as the ship's bell that was retrieved from the wreck. The lifeboat is steel not wood and it's chilling to stand there seeing how the storm tore the steel of the boat. Signed: BTW
None of the characters were likeable and the supposed good girl was as much of a whore as her friend. SS06 needs to stick to LW as the rebound relationship has more romance than this crap. 1 Star, the lowest rating I have even come close for a Stangstar story.
Yup. So I finally found a SS06 story I did not like.
Glad I didn't find it first. I would not have read another SS06 story - it was that bad.
Fortunately all the other great stories overwhelm this one cock up.
Why in the world, after getting rid of one whore, would Brett want to hook himself to another whore? Any woman who ducks and blows guys without any sort of feeling certainly isn’t “princess-like”. She is a cheap whore.
I wonder How happy He will Be with The Town Pump . Everyone Knows That Rae will cause More Trouble ...
She puts out for a ride home and thinks HE has an inferiority complex? I love your writing, but this story just didn’t do it for me. T is a terrible person. Brett should find someone who actually likes him. The only thing T likes about Brett is that he likes her.
Nice ending. He was a nice guy who was totally shit on in his previous marriage... not just a little. A f’n lot!!! So this ending with Timella finally taking charge and communicating with Brett does make sense. Youth is for making mistakes... the better people forgive and learn from those mistakes. Those that don’t learn & forgive end up writing terrible comments as “Anonymous” on stories in www.literotica.com. Thank-you for this delightful story!
I like most of your stories that I have read but this is definitely not one of them. Just 3 star rating
Brett’s initial instinct to stay home and not date was correct. He only dates crazy chicks. This marriage lasts 6 months until she becomes an addict or starts fooling around with other people (but it’s never her fault).
She’s such an idiot. No will or character at all. He couldn’t ever trust her to do anything. Anytime they were apart, he’d have to worry over what someone would talk her into and how could she hold a job or manage kids?
Sorry couldn't get past the first few paragraphs, what a total waste of space the male character was
So T goes out and has sez with Stan the " asshole " . Why would Brett take her back she is a Slut like Rae is . I agree that Stan deserved the Ass kicking he got . Me and 3 of my Squad watched as a Guy beat up his Girlfriend at a Bar 2 guys went in to break it up and his friends did a number on them laughing about it . Before I could say a word Top Said lets go have some fun Gunnies . We Followed him and enjoyed kicking Ass and taking No Names . The best part was when I stopped at the Bar and asked for the owner as the Police came in
TIMELLA IS A BITCH COR BTING ROOMMATES WITH A DISEASED WHORING SKANK RAE, DOUBLE DATING WITH HER LEFTOVERS, GIVING THRM BJS!
TRAILER PARK TRASH!!
SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A ROMANCE!!
BRETT DID NOT DESERVE A TRASH WHORE TIMELLLA
Timella's interlude with Stan was physically painful for me. I had to walk away several times. That you can write a story that can make me that wrapped up in the character is a testimony to you ability as a writer. 5 star for talent! People trash Brett, your characterization of him is real. I have known men to do the exact thing he did. One of them is me. I have my 38th anniversary in 20 days. Of course, my wife wasn't as stupid as Timella. I never had a chance...LOL.
This must have been a Fantasy story for Sluts . I would not have married Timella . I wonder how many STD's she had . Yes This is the kind of Girl No One wants to Marry
There's a name for men who don't initiate sex with women who are actively and openly fucking other men it's GAY😂
Unfortunately the phrase "Nice Guys Finish Last" is a long the quote for a reason, Women are shallow to an insane multiple level and also a gender of hypocritical psychos who say they want a good man to love them, yet can't ever appreciate one unless he has a nice car, good income, fancy suits, takes them nice places, wastes money on them, etc... as for the female lead in this story, was a complete and idiot (though in her case she had a messed up sense of self worth monstrously reinforced by truly horrible judgment and a major slut to friend to give her majorly bad advice) women want men to need t assume they are mind readers how about they return the favor as well.
She never heard of UBER or LYFT? You don't have to pay for a ride with pussy. What a fucking slut. I couldn't finish the story.
Every fucking character in this story is a loser. Except maybe Brett’s neighbors.