All Comments on 'Rally Girls'

but don't be surprised if they all don't agree, TK U MLJ LV NV

I gotta tell you- I like just about all your stuff, and you are one of my favorite authors. This story, however, is one of my least favorites.

The mechanics, as usual, are great. It is always a pleasure to read stories where the author understands grammar, voice, and sentence structure. The characters and conflict pretty much ring true, and they are interesting enough that I care about them.

My problem with this story is the computer side of things. It is just too far from reality, and it breaks my concentration when I read it. I won't dwell on it, but here is a simple example. There is no way a hospital or its IT department is going to let a student have that sort of access to its machines.It is definitely against any sort of security policy, and quite possibly illegal under HIPPA.

How to fix it? I have no idea, I am a much better critic than writer. Maybe Mrs. Wilson loses some valuable file on her personal laptop that somehow saves the free world.

Thanks for all your writing, and hope this criticism helps you out. Keep up the good work.

at least a love story came out of it

Perhaps you should consider your own expertise before criticizing the author, being that you have used HIPPA vs the correct HIPAA.

I thought that the doctor was going to be a big problem and then I was puzzled by the title, Rally Girls, since only one Rally Girl showed up in the story. At first, I thought that she was going to do the service for the academic side! Well the ship ended up in a safe harbor and we felt good.

With respect to the complaint by the computer expert, I understand his pain, but he has to remember this is fantasy and just for free enjoyment. Accept it as its offered. Now if you include organic chemistry in one of your stories, you may get some of my dandruff flying....

I enjoyed it very much.

Another very good story!

I like the "Computer Doctor" story - lots of twists and turns and a good ending. I am biased, though, as I like DG's stories.

While I have never heard of 'rally girls' and have no idea if they are fact or fiction, but would have to think they are real considering college sports-I thought this was a wonderful story and having a beautiful redhead as the main lady has most of us males drooling and not feeling sorry for the bitch Sally. Great author who takes the time to write with care and feelings and also takes the time to have another person proof their work. Another 5 star writing-the kind we welcome and wish there were more of. Congratulations on another winner! :) Smiling Jaybird :)

it is a great story man. loved the ending.

As usual from you, another great story. Great ending......Makes you feel good...thanks

Great Story and narrated wonderfully.

I would've enjoyed the story more without Sally as a backdrop. The title seemed like a stretch to me. The story seemed more focused on Sally than the main characters. I felt that any nameless character/characters could've supplanted the input on this story. Sally was portrayed as a sex vixen who would prostitute herself for any and all causes. This seemed to detract more than propel the essence of the romance. Since this story is in the Romance category it almost begs to eliminate Sally, who only serves to obfuscate this romance.

The families just wanted them to be careful and be sure - even Sally knew who she was and why - - all essentially good people -

"Jerry, her morals aren't the best. She is known to sleep with quite a few guys."

Where this come from??? My goodness! This is erotica mixed with porn Sir.!!!! Please reserve your gradparents morals for yourself (and don't embarrass yourself).

for a supposedly intelligent man ...like many jocks...he let his dick rule his head.....but at least he learnt how to please a woman which Rachel benefited from as he was able to pleasure her....but her mother and father were a pair of stuck up prigs and even though he was probably making as much money as a doctor if not more they still looked down their noses at him at least the bitch mother did...but hey he will end up making more money without working long hours.....in the end he and Rachel win hands down....

Being married to a great woman for 50 years I can honestly say that what Jerry said is the key to a happy and loving marriage is to not lie to each other and always communicate each others feelings with honesty

Decent story.

The first part of the story covers a computer brainiack ruled by his dick. It is difficult to appreciate his professional abilities when he is with Sally who is offering all the pussy he wants with her, if he goes to her college. Morals? NONE.

The second part of the story is much better and is controlled by a woman who has all her nuts together and who knows what she wants and works to get it properly.

5*

BJ

I liked it , but his girls mother was out for his hide

good story concept but written at a pre-college level ... to get committed readership (and to make it really sensous and/or erotic, whichever you choose) the sophistication of plot and writing has to go way up