All Comments on 'Raw and Broken Ch. 03'

Oh no!

Your writing is riveting.

I couldn't decide whether to give this 2 stars or 5 stars - 5 because you are an amazing writer, or 2 because this is all so fucked up.

It doesn't matter how long Drake new that J. was Daphne's abusive ex, he still believed him over his own wife and put her in a dangerous situation. Also, he didn't believe his own wife when she talked about abuse?!?! I guess this isn't that surprising for people who grow up in a society where only a small percentage of domestic violence cases are reported and 1 in 3 women in the US are victims of domestic violence (and where most women choose not to report rape because of all the doubts and shaming they receive). Women in the BDSM community are so much more vulnerable and less likely to be believed. That is why it is so disappointing that nobody told her to leave him, especially given her history of not being able to stand up for herself (and her internal monologue that she would have stayed with Drake even if he hit her?!?) - she victimizes herself, and her therapist tricking her into sticking up for herself is incredibly unprofessional and potentially damaging when you don't know your patient - no good therapist would do that!

I know this is a fictional story and people like "Happily Ever Afters", but the fact that she has no one solely on her side (Malcolm and Becca both are very close to Drake and have a vested interest in them staying together, even if it is subconscious) and the fact that no one suggested she learn how to be on her own and value herself before getting back into a relationship that could potentially turn south again (Drake seems very weak to me - he's so easily manipulated that he never questioned his behavior? He is so self-centered that he never once thinks about what is actually best for his partner who is so vulnerable to him in ways most spouses aren't?).

I know this is a long post, but I feel very strongly about this issue (also cheating is a HUGE deal breaker for me, if you can't handle your alcohol don't drink, and if you don't have friends watching out for you, don't drink - no excuses! But emotional abuse is such a big deal and is something that is often present in erotica (especially BDSM erotica), that it out-shadows everything else).

In my mind Drake isn't redeemable, and I would be sad if she went back to him. But if she does, I hope he has to go through a whole lot more than 9 months of couples therapy with a seemingly incompetent therapist (also all the sessions were going well? Usually in therapy, you know its working because you have some really shitty sessions where you talk about really hard things), pitying himself, and apologizing. Also, I hope she has a real transformation - submissive doesn't mean doormat, submissive doesn't mean you need to be told what to do, submissive doesn't mean silently putting up with situations or mandates that give you serious hesitations (especially when it pertains to your own life) to please someone else - I haven't seen any realization on her part around that.

Sorry for the long post - I have always enjoyed your stories but I couldn't help but comment on this one. Thank you for sharing here with us.

Do not take this comment the wrong way. Please I am so grateful that you did this story, so grateful! In Raw the only time I truly questioned your written words was Malcolm hitting Becca and then her reaction. Which you too realized that it had no place for either character. Well Drake, you're really pulling his shit out of left field. The whole JD thing... amazing craftsmanship in your thought process and writing. But with all the stunts he's pulled he is beyond a weak ass bitch! And I'm wondering if either you wrote him (and him and Daphne) in Raw too well. They were such a strong couple and the man you have written is so vastly different from before; 'I'll do whatever it takes.' I feel that he was a major douche to Becca after her second rape torture and sexual captivity not just the collar ceremony but in all that you did not bring him in for comfort and when dealing with anyone he seemed withdrawn. Now that happened long before the sex trip three weeks before the wedding so why a prick then? (Book signing).

Here's where you've lost me... So King Douche Drake gets blind drunk wakes up in bed with another woman, the step daughter of his boss, and has no memory of how he got there. Only remembers it was a bachelor party held for him by his co workers. So why the would this dumbass light weight pansy go to another work held bachelor party or any kind of work party? Then to go home and have sex with his wife unprotected and would never consider that he can't drink? Maybe there is more to him and the drinking and that could've been his route to evil! Let's not forget the daddy issues. What made him so nuts on that? Needs exploration! So why would a man that got out of a nightmare by the skin of his teeth put himself into that situation again? Yea yea yea he got away with it once he'll do it again because she forgave him and he owns her....I call bull shit on that one. I feel that you missed either blowing up the scene with more crazy or it shoots have been something that caused him to slip up with the protection.

Please continue with this story and is characters I love Malcolm and Becca. They keep making choices...together! Just love them.

Is he putting on an act of contrition? Or does he really mean it? Does he still expect to Dom Daphne 24 X 7? I'd like to think he's not acting - that the brother Becca loves is still in there somewhere, but how he listened to and believed Jimmy more than his wife, his mentor, his sister - shows a serious lack of judgment. (Not to mention getting drunk and cheating.) I suppose how he reacts after the miscarriage will reveal a lot, but if I were Daphne, forgiving Drake would be a long time in coming. Forgiveness needs to be earned, and not just granted because Daphne still loves Drake. Drake needs to understand Daphne and do what she wants, and not just decide for himself. A good Dom rules through mutual respect - not fear, obedience, and punishment.

I still feel like it doesn't add up or justify anything he has done.

Maybe you just did too good of a job at setting him up as the bad guy in the last chapter or something, because I kept waiting for Daphne to act cold and unforgiving towards his flimsy excuses. Was kind of surprised and somewhat disappointed that she was somehow all understanding and just accepted his explanation instead. What's worse is when she proceeded to blame herself for it.

Not to mention, Drake kind of did a 180 there. He was obviously brainwashed by Jimmy to a certain point and now he's all apologetic and beating himself up over it and willing to do anything to fix his marriage....and I just don't buy it.

Daphne may be more angry that he didn't communicate with her enough, but I think the more important issue is that a former abuser got involved. It can easily become dangerous (and has, according to this chapter) and I don't think they should take it lightly. In order for Drake to be manipulated by a verified abuser, he would have had to doubt Daphne in the first place...which really puts him and his real intentions in a bad light.

I still love your writing though. Just got caught up in the emotional side of your story...as usual.

I love reading about these 2 couples; please continue to do what you do!

Please continue this series - or the Raw series - So much better than the 50 shades of whatever - absolutely dying to read more - you're very good, you know. Well done.

But doesn't explain sheep lead by wolves, etc; but Malcolm's StarWar reference rocked it. Maybe Drake needs more Obie One or Yoda...maybe Drake and Daphnie need a wicked vanilla life style with added fetishes...either way a do over is needed. Even if not together. They need to get back on their independent feet in order to be independently dependent. If stay in life style both need to be part of lifestyle classes! It helps keep perspective...Malcolm is a good teacher!;-)

Seriously? Is this how the story ends?!

While I enjoy your writing, Daphne just seems like a doormat. Drake's explanations were thin and lame. He cheated on her, withheld important details about his infidelity, and he knowingly continued to involve himself with her former abuser. If she hadn't run away, I seriously doubt that he would have stopped his downward spiral himself. Daphne was too quick to forgive and underwhelmingly emotional. Sure, she needed to speak up about certain issues, but not about Jimmy because who needs to tell her own husband that associating and BEFRIENDING her former abuser is wrong???? He completely abused his power in their relationship and clearly has zero regard for her word. It is so wrong and terrifying, and while I understand that Daphne has a passive personality (I do too), I would feel so betrayed, so hurt. I wouldn't wanna see him for a while before I decided if wanted to salvage the marriage, especially with a baby on the way.

These two clearly have a motive for wanting Drake and Daphne to stay together. It would benefit them greatly. That kind of selfishness and not caring about what's best for Daphne especially considering the trauma Becca went through doesn't seem like them at all.

I enjoyed RAW, the story, the characters, the pace...everything about it. However, the direction the end of chapter 2 and this chapter took Drake is simply unbelievable. He can't go from being a support brother, a best friend, a lover, a great boyfriend, and a good and supportive Dom to being such an ASS.

Plus, the reasoning behind his changed behaviors is too weak. At one point, when the condom issue and the cheating came to light...I thought you were going to have him be infected with a sexually transmitted/life affecting disease. As horrible as that would have been, it would have made more sense for his 180 behavior change. Reading his character now is like eating cold soup...there's no point other than to fill empty space.

Your writing is great. Your error count is much less than it had been in Raw. I'm enjoying the other aspects and characters in the story, but you've killed Drake, and by association, Daphne for me. I hope you can bring them back to life.

~A