All Comments on 'Reaching Out'

Looking forward for part 2

Thanks for sharing.

I cried. I literally cried as she came. Oh my god, I want this.

Very sweet and well done. I can't wait for Part 2.

A little request, as a personal preference I do enjoy reading about how a person looks. You mention the see-through shirt, but don't mention the shape of her breasts or pinkness or duskiness of her nipples. Or the feel of her skin and the shape of her bottom when she's just wearing her panties. When he's following her up the stairs, I was waiting for him to notice the shape and sway of her ass.

But that's just a personal preference. Perhaps you are allowing the reader to picture their own version of the perfect forms of the characters.

You are doing a good job, and I would love to read more about them.

Rarely make comments but feel compelled to do so this time. Loved the mental interplay and obviously looking forward to the physical. We all have fears, but to have them described so clearly is thought provoking. Hurrry up with chapter 2!

I am at a total loss for words, not an easy task. Thank you for sharing your amazing thoughts with us, the readers. I tend to agree with the idea of more detail of her delicate form, of course less is more, but some better than none. :/)

Again, Thank you for the beautiful story, so well written, and btw, I also had tears during several scenes, Tony <:o)

Love the slow sensual build up with two caring people. Looking forward to The next part. Too many times they fall in the sack so easily with no care. Thanks for not doing that.

Also, it's 'too', not 'to'. Think of it as 'also'. So it's "I like you too" or "I like you also", instead of "I like you to".

This guy is a hero and worth the best I can offer.

5* Should be 55*

I truly hope you are planning to continue this story, because it is one of the absolute best I've run across in a long time. It has a great plot, caring/emotional characters and a slow buildup to a sex scene that actually means something more than just a bit of hokey pokey because it's expected or whatever. Oh btw, did I mention I really hope you continue this story soon??....hint hint :D

The mind is a powerful sex tool...and YOU are the master mechanic! Well done! Looking forward to more...truly exquisite! *S*

hi and thanks for an excellent read, will be waiting for the next chapter of this story definitely!

A Truly Wonderful Story, I do not give my praise lightly or often.

The only thing I can complain about is having to wait for the rest of the story.

What a wonderful story with a great build up. This is one of the best stories I have read on this site. Can't wait for the next part. Please post it soon :) You are a very talented writer, I loved the plot, the characters, and the way you built your story line.

Please continue writing even after this story is done.

Thank you for writing such an excellent story! I can't wait to see if Dana can come out of her shell some more. 5 stars is too low for this story

Very well written. A bit of work on punctuation though. Most sentences should be comma, quote, then either he said or she said. Example, from near the end of the story. You wrote:

"That is very flattering, Dana. I hope that if we go that far, I do not disappoint you." He said.

At a minimum, I would adjust the sentence thus:

"That is very flattering, Dana. I hope that if we go that far, I do not disappoint you," he said.

Alternatively, to break it up a bit,

"That is very flattering, Dana," he said. "I hope that if we go that far, I do not disappoint you."

Sometimes, especially if you've identified the speaker in the previous sentence, you can even omit the he said/she said altogether. Second alternative:

"That is very flattering, Dana. I hope that if we go that far, I do not disappoint you."

Think about it. With the comma, it makes the "he said/she said" part of the same sentence. As written, it makes them into sentence fragments, even though we understand they should be attached to the previous dialog.

All that said and done, though, you have a compelling writing style. From reading the story, I'd say the sister is autistic, and would further refine it with Asperbergers. I've often read how afraid they are of strangers and how difficult it is for them to be in new situations. Excellently done.

Honestly the sister doesn't come off as shy but more so as maybe a little slow lols or autistic, at least to me. The mother should've taken her to therapy if she was that worried lols. I felt weird reading this during some parts cause it made me feel as if he was taking advantage of an person with an disability or with special needs. It may seem a bit much but some parts made me feel that way when reading it, not the story as an whole though.

I get the feeling ,that Dana has a form of social anxiety, and having that condition is truly terrifying.For the brother to be able to reach her is truly heart felt and would not be an easy task to take. Even if I am wrong, I find that the passion and compassion in your writing to be wonderful. I know how it feels to be socially isolated with anxiety, and I hope that people can be aware that this is a crippling condition. Thank you

Sterling characterization. I've never read better. Period.

I can't really say enough about how this story has touched me, and I'm not quite sure exactly why other than the way you've written these beautifully complicated characters. My one criticism is only being given, because you write so beautifully and I think your story could be even better without some of the typos and grammatical errors and sentence fragments I came across. One of the other comments I read gave you some excellent suggestions on just this topic, that I really think you should take to heart. You might also want to consider looking for an editor or proof reader if you don't already have one.

I can't wait to see where you're planning to go with the story. I do think that the parents are a bit to blame though for letting this situation get as bad as it has. Frankly, I think the fact that they failed to get their daughter the help she so desperately needed earlier in life and then placing the responsibility for helping her on the shoulders of their son shows a glaring lack of appropriate parenting on the part of this couple. While I don't mean to insinuate that they've been abusive in any way, I do think their ennui did their daughter a real disservice and leaves them in no position to pass any kind of judgement on the relationship that their children are forming.

I also hope that James eventually realizes that leaving his sister alone again after all the progress he's made with her and the environment of trust he's been able to build and foster with her could ultimately do unimaginable damage to her fragile state.

I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapter of the story.

Just so sweet and erotic, all at the same time. This is easily becoming one of my favorites. Thank you so much!

I very rarely give 5 stars and I read on avg. 4 stories a day. I'm very disabled so typing isnt easy. So I will just say Im only concerned with the people in the story, the background and the way you lead me into and beyond your story. I dont look for errors nor would I know any of these suggestions left for you. but It read easy and even through my pain I was able to enjoy the story and follow along. ty and I cant wait to see how you unfold the young lady and her safe brother. loveing and caring story, good job/ bill

but too short. what happens next? and when does she have an interaction with a complete stanger?

I am taken away with this one, it is amazing, and wonderful. I just wish they could be together forever. There is nothing wrong with incest romance, as long as both are adults. James and Dana should be together forever, screw what society thinks.

lol....can't really add to what people have said so far, but I can't wait for the second part. Not often you come accross such a thought provoking story on an erotica site. Thanks!

I loved the story, it made feel like I was there!

I gave you a 4, only because I don't think anyone is perfect enough to get a 5. Yes I caught the to too problem, however it was a thoughtful, loving description of the events and thoughts between a brother and sister. I could not take anything away for that kind of mistake. Please send us the next part as soon as you are satisfied that it says what you want it to say. Thanks for an excellent story.

A great love story without sexy ! So erotic and arousing and beautifully told.

And leaves you wondering about what happens after. But I am not so sure that a sequel would enhance it. On the whole I think leaving it hanging in the air is better.

But would love to read more similar stories from your gifted pen and imagination.

Hope there is more...

Please write a sequel. "Reaching Out" is amazing and must have a second or additional parts to it. Pure Five Star material!

I need chapter two. Very well written with real feelings. More please.

Hurry!!!!! ;)

#2

Good Premise....Beautiful build up....hoping for a long follow through in part 2!!!

I like the character development and the story line is unique. I'm looking forward to the next installment. Keep it upl

It's not all that often that a story has this much intelligence, sensitivity, understanding and depth. Lately there has been a severe shortage of stories anywhere near this brilliant. Your insight and understanding of such a sensitive issue is wonderful. I can't wait for chapter 2.

Thank you for this gift.

This is among the very best things I have ever read here--may be among the best things I may ever read here. And that is saying something given that there is no shortage of truly gifted writers here. This story is real and powerful and beautiful. It is intelligent and INTENSELY erotic, even with nothing really consummated in this installment of the story. Beautiful.

Beautiful story, cant wait for chapter two, keep up the good work!

The picture you paint is of a lovely Emo girl, with so many insecurities. Yet she wants so badly to be a part of "life". Especially her brother's. I'd love to see where this is going. It has so many possibilities. I can see Dana eventually, with her brother's help, breaking out of her impenetrable shell. Keep it going... please. I'm hooked.

Well written and very convincing. 5*****.

That was an absolutely fantastic story. Can't wait for more. It gave true meaning to the word 'Love'.

Totally drawn in, can paint the characters in my head, I feel myself straining to explain to mom why Dana is the way she is, I feel every word. Well done.

I know that girl, and don't know if I have the stuff to take it that far. We are a work in progress and yes it is beautiful. She is so fragile. Please continue your story, I'm curious to know if our lives will match. - Again, beautiful, so perfect.

Other feedback, all positive, you have a good grammar checker and the story flows smoothly. Please continue the good work.

A lovely story.

A nice gentle build up. A very well crafted idea of where you seem to want to go with it. It'll be interesting to see if I'm right...

Well done.

You are able to actually create a story and a connection with the characters and the readers. Very well written. It's a real story and not rushed but not bland either. You establish a foundation and keep the readers interested. Love it!!! The best I've read on this website so far. FIVE STARS!

So beautiful...

This is good. really good. Dana reminds me of myself. Please continue. It would be mist pleasurable to keep reading.

Still, this is better than almost every other story published on this site.

This is outstanding. The depth of emotion, the tenderness, the depiction of the shared respect and love is intense.

thank you

I just love this story :). Every time I accidentally run across it while searching for new stuff I find myself reading it! This has to be the fourth time, hehe. I honestly can't find anything to fault with it either, besides a few missed words but thats trivial.

I'd love to see a part two, Dana moving in with him and adventures :)

I came across this accidentally in a search. I am so glad that I did. It is one of the best I have read. Thank you.

love this amazing story 5 stars is just to low of a rating

The slow buildup and the character development, not just of Dana but also of James, is excellent. Their getting together seems almost inevitable. Very well done.

Dana's condition initially struck me as an autistic spectrum disorder (especially considering the neatly aligned drawings on the wall), but that doesn't tally with her ability to read emotions so well. Plus, she doesn't have hypersensitivity.

Grammar and punctuation have been mentioned, and I have to concur: it breaks the flow of this otherwise beautiful and sensitive story.

and how you drew her, with how James drew her out. The reactions and banter seemed very natural, unforced. An easy 5!

Demonstrative of an in-depth understanding of at least one aspect of the complexities of the human mind, this story has but a single orgasm in the five pages. Most such works have have the characters balls deep in cunt or ass or mouth before th end of the first page. Yet it holds one's attention while establishing players who are flawed and three-dimensional.

On the critical side, some questionable passages and areas are, unfortunately, obvious:

they don't like (he/she doesn’t)

like (a) little girl

decretive (decorative)

next (to) her mom's plate

Asperger (Asperger's syndrome)

street light (street light)

laying on you (lying)

simply courtesy (simple)

guilt ridden (guilt-ridden)

board walk (boardwalk)

having these conversations in the dark were strange (was)

far less words (fewer)

between Dana and I (me)

every ones (everyone’s)

form others (from)

any ones (anyone’s)

crook if his shoulder (of)

ability (to) bring life

James' (James's)

I do to (too)

her muscled thrummed (muscles)

over-worked (overworked)

love making (lovemaking)

On the whole these do not fatally affect the value of this effort, just diminish it a bit.

If you want to be an editor, get a member name and let the web master know you are willing to help. I've seen several of your posts like this one and, really, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones when inside. You do and you are!

Two things you complained about jumped right out at me.

First is your correction (I used copy and paste) of "street light (street light)". Your correction is exactly the same as what the author wrote! That is one fantastic correction!

Second you corrected this way (again, cut and paste) "James' (James's)". I checked several web grammar help sites and they all said BOTH ways are acceptable! They only said the writer should be consistent in how he/she does it.

It must be a real downer to read like I envision you do with a second window open so you can, most likely, C and P everything you find wrong (as you read it) followed by the way you think it should be written. Man that must play havoc to realizing the flow of the story, not to mention being able to enjoy the author's work.

So like I said, grow a pair and become a member named editor!

dezurtdawg

This is a really beautiful story. Looking very much forward to reading the remainder of the chapters.

I have been emotionally "run hard and put up wet." Please write more.

Story was well done but it felt like brother was taking advantage of an intellectually challenged sister, but if that's the taboo you have intentionally added then its fine after all, it's fictionand you have tagged it as such. But speaking from the impression i got from your portrayal of the sister's character she didn't seem to be competent to give this kind of consent ( coz in many mental illness es pt is intelligent in every other aspect but one, and this girl had problems with social interaction so it extends to relationships, etc so i would consider it as taking advantage of an incompetent person)... on to the next chapter now 😃

In the spectrum of challenges, learning disabilities and mental disorders, being socially challenged and intellectually challenged are at opposite ends. Being awkwardly shy is not an indicator for a lack of intelligence. In fact, shy people are usually much more intelligent and their powers of observation are sharper. Both of those traits stem from the fact that shy people usually immerse themselves in intellectual activities like reading or writing more than the average person, and they listen better.

Wakingdown, I feel like you have had personal experiences with someone like this, because describing and filling out your character's traits are accurate and real.

I love the tenderness of your story and the build up. At the very center of the story is love, trust and acceptance, things this world could use more of.

Typo's, errors in spelling, grammar, syntax and punctuation are easy to ignore when the story is as good as this. I have favorite the story and you as an author.

Full marks for this clever story. Gentle readers, little sister Dana is not the victim -- if, indeed, there is a victim. Big brother James has been manipulated into a position where his response is the sole litmus test to validate Dana's feelings. He cannot deny her anything without feeling as though he has failed her, hurt her and set back her recovery. His love and compassion for his sister precludes that.

Given the author's repeated description of her intelligence and intensity while studying James (read: almost predatory?), this perhaps signals that this situation is by her design. Time -- and further chapters -- may tell. Excellent work.

I have a young great-niece with the same social issues...and it is NOT one of a lack of intellect, as another reader described...She is a A student, but socially stunted...It is a good example you have contrived...I look forward to reading the rest...

I feel like if anything, Dana is taking advantage of James. As the writer has scripted this story, Dana is clearly the more intellectual of the two, using her ability to essentially predict a person's reaction to her actions to manipulate. Reading this story, I can't help but be attracted to the Dana character. She reminds me of a cousin I have. Dana is just so sweet and loving. She just needs that affirmation that what she's doing or thinking or saying is ok, that she's worthy. Good for James for taking the time to help his sister.

... "of being worthy." That is the key in this situation.

She's not taking advantage of her brother, she's trying to find that "sense of self" that is an essential part of everyone's character.

I've not read a story like this on this site before, but I like it. And I'm looking forward to reading the other two chapters very much.

I enjoyed the first chapter and I look forward to reading the rest this evening.

Thank you for sharing your writing skills.

I absolutely love your character development. It's like I feel a guilty desire for Dana too. The careful and detailed building of their interrelationships whilst maintaining an ever-progressing and exciting plot line is absolutely wonderful! Years of reading on this site, and this has to be the best erotic narrative I've ever read. Thank you! I'm heading to the next chapter now with nervous elation!

Fucking loved that................

Such good character development. I haven’t enjoyed a story this much in a long time, and when the sparks flew at the end... wow is all I have to say. Thank you for sharing your talent.

Wow...just....wow....the character development is freaking amazing

It never fails to get me. I identify a little with both protagonists. It's a favourite for a reason.

fucking wow. haven't read something like this for quite a while. five stars and favorited.

A very good effort. Excellent story telling. You need to pay attention to proofreading as you omitted several words. Try reading the story out loud to yourself. It is a useful tool.

I look forward to reading other stories by you.

Second time around for me. A lovely special story.

Scores 5/5 and saved

"Most people don't know how to act like people..."

As someone that deals with bouts of social anxiety, this paragraph on page 2 was the most profound thing that I have read on this site. Period. Full Stop. The rest of the story/series could have been a complete let down and I would still rate them 5 stars because of this one paragraph. Your thoughtfulness of the human condition, that you masterfully showed throughout the 3 chapters, is best shown here. It take's a special type of writer to create a great story, but it takes someone that is wonderfully flawed to create a piece of work so human. Thank you.

Lovely story

The way you write is amazing. I enjoyed the story very much, but I can't really say why. It was almost believable because of the topic and the way you explained each person's feelings. Excellent job!

Truly, a deep and heartfelt story. The exploration of true intimacy is wonderful.

Great character building, loved it 5

Holy shit that was beautiful.

Great story!! Looking forward to the rest of the series.

Dana is one messed up little girl who is in desperate need of professional intervention...Simply reiterating Dana's problem started to make the story somewhat stagnant...

This series is just beautiful, the development of the relationship, Dana is fascinating and it's great to see her come out of her shell and the sex is hot.

I wonder a bit about the Mother, does she kind of suspect or not