All Comments on 'Recipe for Disaster Pt. 01'

The story has great potential.

The tale could have been an excellent story but in my opinion it deteriorated into a suck and fuck fest of salaciousness. It is your world and people in it can be made to fit any situation, but would have been a much better length if more care to develop slowly their characters and actions.

Still OK but more care would have made it a different and better read.

Just saying

This is one fantastic story .I really love you work you are a master story teller .Will be looking forward to the next chapter . I bow to you and your skill always a great read . Thanks for the story. Keep writing and I will keep reading . Big Fan !!!!

Fantastic story! Lots of different directions this can go, and I am looking forward to the journey. Write on!

Brilliant, can't wait to read the next chapter.

Very well thought out, written, and presented. Keep it going

I am glad you enjoyed the first installment. There are three more already written and posted for approval. I hope you like the series.

Can't wait for more.

Great start can't wait to read more

Love it hope more is coming

especially since Egyptians hid all their secrets, TK U MLJ LV NV

In SEVERAL places, your narrator refers to "my parent's house"

"my parent's house" means " the house of my parent (singular)".

"my parents' house" (note the moved apostrophe) means "the home of my parents (plural)".

Since the narrator has TWO parents, and they both live in said house, you should use the latter (with the apostrophe AFTER the "s")

It's a minor mistake, but it happened SEVERAL times in this chapter.

Other than that, I enjoyed it and will now read Chapter 02!

-Rei

This is a great story and you push it along well, but the writing is a little unrefined and requires some editing in a few places. There are also some phrases that don't really carry the correct connotations. I would suggest reading it out loud to yourself. This will help you hear where it doesn't flow quite right. Love the story though, keep going!

Hey Guys!

Nominations for Clitorides Awards are open Now.

I voted for Lost Boy and his works because He's my favourite Author here in Literotica.

Plz, Vote for Lost Boy , I want to see him winning for his Hardworks despite being ill for sometimes. Always delivered best erotica for us.

Thank You Lost Boy!

Here is the Link : https://clitoridesawards.org

Wow, this rocks. I love the story & the characters. Hope you keep up the plot & backstory rather than falling into the pit of fuckfest. The sex was good,made me wet & horny but truthfully I'm hooked on the mystery now. Although Brianna is hot & I want her bad. 😀

Meh. Shouldn't have inserted the mom in the story. Oedipal authors