All Comments on 'Reinventing Emma'

Very well written. Loved the character building. Would love to hear even more about these two.

That was truly awesome... I loved it so much. I don't usually bother to sign in on the rare occasions that I comment, it's been well over a year since I last signed in, but I loved your story so much..I thought it deserved more than just another comment from Anonymous. I do hope you continue this, but I'll still love if you keep it the same. I look forward to more from you. :)

what happens next?

you're one of my fave authors here, i like the character building you do. Other than a bit of editing, i really enjoyed this story, and while i don't always lend towards sequels, i do want to see how these two end up :)

Suxh a wonderful and lovely story, I hope there's more to this...

Thank you so much!

L

It was a long story, but very well written. It was a good description of the people and what they went thru. Keep up the good work.

The huge chunk of info dump that opened the story nearly killed it. You could have interspersed the essential elements of that opening section throughout the rest of the story and it wouldn't have affected Emma's characterization. Instead, we got a draggy opening, and we didn't meet Sophie until several thousand words into the story. That's not good, considering she's a main character.

Also, as has already been pointed out, you could use an editor. We're not talking a few little mistakes here and there, either.

That said, I'd like to echo the praise given by others for your characterizations of Emma and Sophie. They're not only likable, they're far better developed than the 2D cardboard cutouts that inhabit 90%+ of stories on this site. They're the reason I stuck around after the opening section. I actually cared what happened to them.

4/5 stars

i really enjoyed the whole story

the characters were built enough for me to know them

i look forward to see you continue this story and will be a pleasure to read it

I think it was great! not tat it was a Lesbian story but the idea that a person could find a soul mate as I did my wife in Beirut. She's gone now since 88 but her soul lives on with me.

It was beautiful! You are a great writer!! I enjoyed all of it beginning to end. The pace was perfect and their love unfolded so well. Thank you so much for sharing it.

I liked the introduction because it made me take the perspective of Amelia, Mia and Emma. A lovely build up too.

Five stars

Unsteady at first, but finish beautifully.

It's a awesome build up story. Enjoyed from the first to last.

I loved it - so take this criticism in the spirit it is intended. There were a lot of typos, wrong word, words out of order, that kind of thing - fine for free, but this is really a nice enough story you could self publish for pay :)

I personally thought the mutual admiration dialogue annoying - "you're pretty, no you're the prettier one, no you're the prettiest"... And the lesbian accusation/suggestion - "you're a lesbian, no I think you're the lesbian - no, it is you that's the lesbian". Since I'm the only one saying it I'm not sure that it's an issue, it just was for me.

I liked it, but there is one little thing. You used the word cry far to often.

I liked this story so much I'd happily put up with all those typos and such if it meant getting to read another 30 pages of Sophie and Emma. That's high praise coming from me.

On the one hand, I can appreciate that this story was written to be self contained, but they seem like they're the type to have some really good date stories to tell, if nothing else.

Yes there are typos etc, but you are such a good story teller that it doesn't matter. I'm a big time sucker for sweet romantic girl stories and you managed to tick all the right boxes big time.

YES PLEASE, keep writing about Emma and Sophie.

Exceptional writing! Alas, spell-check can not replace a goods editor!

A very lovely tale and superbly told, I thoroughly enjoyed every page.

This gave me chills...... it is almost exactly how me and my girlfriend got together

This has everything a person could want in a love story. Sexual attraction, interesting characters, detailed writing all wrapped up with an "I love you".

Sure, as a guy, I could've used one car chase and maybe an explosion or two, but the confrontation with the drunken, would-be rapist worked in lieu of those things.

5 stars...easily.

But you really need an editor.

that was just simply amazing. in my 2 years of literotica i have never found any quite like this. Simply amazing! giant turn on and great build up and story line. hope you make a series out of it!

nice story line and character development !

This was amazing! Very little typos and very good grammar, amazing story line, build up, and character creation. I really hope you make this into a series!!!!!!

I really have a love hate relationship with stories like these. I start reading expecting some story I can just jerk it to (and maybe appreciate some story), but then I get ten pages of a blossoming relationship. I lose my erection and pay more attention to everything going on, all the while wondering how it's going to turn out. Of course, the occasional sex scene gets me a bit. I do love stories like these, even if I just end up in bed all soft. This is a great read.

This is not written in a style you would expect from a guy in so much that the character development was so well done and it was not a simple stroke story.

well done

I have read and re-read this story a number of times, which is unusual for me. The plot and character development are superior to what I typically see on this site. The intimacy is more than sex, and written in a respectful way that is still erotic.

I loved the story development. It was like a story Amelia's grandfather might have told about his wife meaning that she apparently had a past too.

Would love to hear about Grandma's day as a carny.

The transformation between Amelia, Mia and Emma was worked perfectly. As Emma, the confusion about her fillings for Sophia were quite believable. Many of us felt the same feeling before we came out. Bravo!!!

kisses, Steph

This has got to be my fourth or fifth reading of this story and I love it more each time. Characters with chemestry growing into each other and sexy but classy intimate encounters make this a damn near perfect read for me. Thank you for sharing it. :)

Great story in fact the best I have read on this site. Well thought out.

One of my favorites, the character development was amazing and so intimate.

Truly a great love story.

I hope their is more to come.

Even though this is just made up, I can't help but think it's real. I really loved this story. Kudos to the author! Best story ever!

Truly wonderful.

I truly enjoyed the story. Thank you for sharing ❤❤

Wow...you're such a talented writer...the character creation... The intimacy... I absolutely loved this story..pls surprise us with another story from you soon..

I loved this story. The build up was fantastic and very very erotic! I look forward to reading another of your stories!

Very intelligently written, funny and charming I hope I can reach this level of writing. :)

Thank you Snoopy100! Your comment on the lesbian story main page was what drove me to read this. Normally, I shy away from lesbian stories written by men. However, this was very sensitive, sweet, and romantic. I came to care for the characters and was very happy they ended up together, affirming their love of each other. This was so well written and I thank you for sharing this beautiful story. There is room for another chapter or two, if you were so inclined and inspired to continue. I would love to read more. Thank you again.

Greg

Btw, someone should turn Sophie on to Rod Serling's Twilight Zone. There are no lesbian themed stories, but it was the very best television show ever.

This was such a great read! I loved it! ☺️

Don't stop writing! You're awesome!

Great story - so enjoyable and such a great read!

Awesome story, but need to carry it out so they can get married by her grandfather!

So cute a reminded me so much of my first great lesbian love 😍

Like a good book, couldn't stop reading this story as you developed the scenes so well with the hint of definite attraction growing between Emma and Sophia with each chapter. Gifted story written by a man which is amazing upon itself. I agree with other commenters, keep writing.

I lived with 3 other girls in one dorm room and I ended up falling for one of them, so this story is so relatable to me right now. There were quite a few typos I noticed, but I really enjoyed the actual story! It's nice to read something with an actual plot and realistic characters.

I couldn't stop reading it was like a good book I hope you add more to this story

You wrote a story that was good enough that no one cared Elizabeth Mitchell didn't play Snow White but the Snow Queen.

Your story is (here comes the Limey bit) abso-bloody-lutely bloody brilliant!

I've read it three times so far and love it everytime! Very well written story. A few typos but the story was so good i barely noticed. You need to write more lesbian stories!

Fantastic love story, but I do have a single quibble. Nobody...and I mean nobody serves time in the Peace Corps and remains naive about the world. Only someone who's never served in the Peace Corps would even imagine that could be true. The Peace Corps, much like the military exposes you to all the ugliness of the world, the only difference is instead of trying to kill that ugliness for god and country, you're trying to mitigate it for the good of the suffering people caught up in it. You discover uncomfortable truths about having to bribe warlords or UN Peacekeepers or whatever country's soldiers in order to set up clean water wells or report human trafficking or get food to starving people whom corporations and governments want to kill off. It's a series of life lessons nobody forgets, so I'd say Emma and perhaps the author himself are actually the ones who might be naive about that.

In all respects but that though, this story was incredible. 5 stars easy.

One of the greatest lesbian love stories ever composed for Literotica.

5🌟's

I have read many books and short stories in my life. Tho have found some of the best stories I have ever read on here. Even without the sex these stories are still spectacular

Very well done. This is amazing. 5/5 for me and now to see what else you have written. The description about her grandfather... You had me hooked then.

Totally pulled me in and I had to read to the end, despite wanting to only read the first half, so I could get to bed on time. Well worth the lost sleep :)

For Emma to be able to find herself, truly, and find happiness itself, after all that had happened to cause her to become so self destructive, is a very satisfying thing to see.

Even for a fictional character in a story.

Her life could've gone so far in the opposite direction, but she found someone to love, and someone who loves her, too.

A very enjoyable story to read and, as an Instant Favorite, one I know I will read again.

5 Stars, and thank you!

THAT IS ONE ...."HOT"!!!!! STORY!! GREAT JOB

Is there a part 2 in the wings? please...

While some might think the story is slow to develop, I think it was just right, allowing the characters to develop and grow, making them much more realistic. I loved watching as Emma grew into the person she was meant to be. Definitely worthy of the Five Stars I rated it.

Beautifully written story.

I'm not sure how I've missed this one up to now, but wow, what a great story! Thank you for sharing it with us!

Almost clicked out of it on page 2 when I found out it was 10 pages long. Glad I didn't. Probably best character development I've read on this site. It was more of a novel with sex in it than most stories on Lit. I didn't notice all the editing mistakes that others mention. Didn't affect the story for me at all. Please keep writing on this site.

Your character development is phenomenal. Really well written story. Thanks

New best story ever!

A nice story... Writing is rather clunky and needs editing (bear instead of bare, etc.). And some stretches seemed over-long. But overall a gratifying and pretty sexy story.

I (male) love this story; it is one of very few that I have re-read several times. As many others have said though, it is sadly let down by too many typographical and other editing errors.

I'm male and loved it. Don't care about grammar and spelling (not an English major) but the story was great.

Almost did not make it to 3rd page , but that's about the only critic i can formulate.... that i should mitigate as it proves very useful to understand Emma's / Amelia; Dont care about typ mistakes .... just loved it , thanks

Very good story. I "kinda sorta" loved Emma. The more I thought about the character, the more messed up she must have been as Mia. As the story starts, Emma hasn't fully developed. Making her separate herself form Mia a work in process. A lot of angst, but well played. Will have to see what other stories you have written, and read this one again. Gave you 5 stars because you earned it.

This is the best short story I’ve ever read. The erotica of it could’ve used a bit more… erotica. But overall INCREDIBLE, Thank you for bringing this to my life.

One of my favourite storiesthat I love to come back to.

Great story I loved it despite the lack of proofreading/editing that that plagues many of your stories. I would love a follow up story with Sophie and Emma meeting Emma's grandfather and him helping them come out of the rest of the family. With his stories of Emma's grandmother he would understand far better than he r parents and could ease the impact on the parents. Please keep writing and find an editor proofreader you are very talented and could really do a much better job with a little help from a couple sets of eyes. I know that when you write something it is hard to catch the little things. I have read several of your stories and gave them all like this one 5*

I don’t follow what persona the MC was for the two years after summer with Grandfather. She’d decided to clean up and move on from druggie/drunk/slut Mia and get her college entry-worthy grades, but later references seem to make no distinction between how she behaved in the first two years of high school and the last two.

Thoroughly enjoyable this can only be worth 5 stars. More please. Stories like this have a life of their own and deserve a continuation. Please make this come true.

Loved it, you nailed the feel, sensation and the love aspect, it was a great read

Well written story with excellent build up and lots of teasers. Great monologue, btw!!

Complaints? Dropped sentence here, misplaced word there … and the sex was hasty, too fast. You gave us nine and a half pages for a build up and less than a quarter of a page for their coupling. What a rip off.

The way it’s written … I just read one of my mothers Harlequin Bromance novels. I don’t know if that’s what you intended, but it’s a big downer on a site like this.

Thanks for the waste of time.

Not an overly erotic story, but so well written, with amazimg character buiding. Needs a part 2!

Great story, but the grammar mistakes were too much not to ignore. Have you thought about hiring an editor?

Really, really good story, normally I’d be complaining about spelling and punctuation, but tbh this story swept me along to the point I didn’t notice the errors. The Author has managed to convey the hope of a new start, then the hesitation, confusion and worry that their one true friend may somehow end up hating them, it’s that emotion and frailty you’ve somehow captured, like lightning in a bottle. I’ll agree with other comments though, it definitely warrants another chapter telling the aftermath of that nights events and their coming out to each other’s families, I’d also have liked to have seen all her old “ghosts” laid to rest, although that was mostly taken care of in her face off with the would be rapist.

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz. 5⭐️

I much prefer these long stories, you do them so well but you do need an editor and given the amount of sex and how quickly you get to it in your other stories I can see why some are frustrated. However, that said, I loved this, you write so well and create such interesting stories I'm going to read more. Thanks so much.

Perfect - 12/10 !

Rapier

Great story, 5/5. But the punctuation, to me at least, made it a bit choppy when I was reading it

Love it, a truly uplifting story

Great story!

Is there a sequel, what happens next?

Please.

Thankyou for this lovely tale!

I loved your story! The characters were fun… I really think you got their dynamic down perfectly!

This was not what I expected. I came here for erotica. And then spent the next hour or so reading this.