All Comments on 'Renaissance Faire Ch. 01'

... but I'm along for the ride.

Strong opening.

Short,pretty good first chapter, but seems trouble is coming. I'll stay with you for a while to see where you go with your story.

Just FYI... An inheritance by one of the spouses in a marriage stays with that individual (ring fenced) and does not become matrimonial property as long as it isn't co-mingled with Matrimonial assets. "Contracting Out" agreement (Pre-nupt) not required. Both Wills and Pre-nupts are actually quite weak methods of protecting assets. Use Trusts instead.

I've read lots of Lit stories over many years. I don't recall ever seeing story content referred to as 'B', 'BtB', and 'RAAC.' What do those mean?

#2. Can you really picture a potential reader of any story caring about a story tag called 'metallurgy'? I don't.

Asshole... You had my eyes burning for a minute when he danced with his mom at the reception. You pulled the heart strings hard on that one. The character Isobel seems a bit toffee-nosed. Look forward to her reckoning. Great story so far. Thank you!

"The chapters are not the same length. Some are short, just under 1 page, while others close to 3 pages." - The good news: You're not starting off with a nothing single-page chapter. and are telling us what to expect. The bad news: You're not giving us any indication of how long we'll have to wait for the last chapter; and you STILL plan one page chapters! Why not add that "just under 1-page chapter" with the chapter preceding or following? You can title it Ch 03-04, with chapter headings inside.

I posted my earlier comment after only reading the intro. You HAVE internal chapter headings, so why do you need to post chapters separately if some are very short?

"making almost as much as some first-year engineering students" - Nitpick: I don't think first-year engineering STUDENTS make much! Maybe that should be "graduates?"

I can predict that when his marriage to Debbie implodes, and it will, he'll end up with Kate.

Well, you've certainly sparked my interest. Why do I foresee Debbie cheating on him, and Kate coming back into his life to rescue him?

Good start

This has started off OK, but you shouldn't have tipped your hand on the lead in. Will look forward to tomorrow.

Sorry for the delay. All 7 chapters were sent back to me. When I resubmitted, I only resubmitted chapter 01 to see if there was some other problem I needed to fix in the remaining chapters. I've just resubmitted all of them. Thank you for the view and your patience.

So you broke it up to make it 'more digestible? In other words it's long winded and never needed to be that long, less then a page for a chapter? Not worth our time.

It seems that the return of Katie seems guaranteed in the coming chapters. I am wondering if a minstrel is going to lead Debbie off the path...

Interesting opening chapter makes me want to see where you go with it.

No cheating to start the series?? Good so far, but wondering when it gets painful for Rob. I can empathize with Robs pain from losing a parent...

The grammar usage and editing errors detract a great deal from what appears to be a very good story developing.

Good start!

5

Nice build

Begining to get overloaded with characters.

I really like the way you populate your story.

I enjoy watching the growth of a human community that I think we all can relate to.