All Comments on 'Revenge in Advance - Derby's Dose'

No idea why so many want to keep continuing this ludicrous story line.

It may be a little, maybe a lot, over the top. It may not be polished, or professionally written either. But the author has an imagination, and tells an interesting story. I would like to see where it goes. So far it's two to one, in favor of the men.

Wow, this twisted shit just keeps getting more fucked up. LOL, have fun topping the depravity in the next chapter. And for the record, Palin does deserve a Derby's Rose.

I'd like to see where you go with this story.

This story is unbelievable, nevertheless, it is fiction and fantasy. There are too many unanswered questions which can only be answered with the next chapter... please do so

As it's own over the top, weird fantasy, I give this a 4 for readability and entertainment.

I like the hypnosis angle and I'm curious if it is used on every woman. I wonder how much of the derangement belonged to Madison and how much was her own.

Thanks for the entertainment!

Been an interesting journey so far. Kind of a different type of story. Good read so far.

Still can't see how Oscar and his wife could EVER get back together unless things really make a sharp turn. She was already trying to chemically castrate him and make him compliant even before he had done anything (which according to part one, was a fatal overdose, accidental though it might be) She was also looking to get a stable of studs with big dicks and Oscar would NEVER have sex with her again. He'd never have sex period!! At least with the Stepford Wives the husbands did not go out and get a bunch of additional women!! They just made the one they had compliant!!

Hypnosis could never change her that much in that short of time. If she was gone for a longer period of time or many follow up weekends, maybe she could have been drugged and brainwashed.

Hey, maybe it could have been like that old James Coburn movie, "In Like Flint". The wives were being influenced through a stay at the exotic spa and subliminally influenced through their hair dryers. Maybe MMAS in this case had the wives listen to their mp3 players and they subliminally get re-enforced while listening to their favorite tunes. They could get new files sent to them by MMAS and download them for continued indoctrination. It could be a subtle way to get the wives more, dare we say it in this day and age, radicalized?? Otherwise at some level, she really wanted complete control of her marriage and her husband, both mentally and physically.

No, if you add it all up and combine that with her stable of studs and no even remotely sane man would want to be around her. He would NEVER EVER be able to trust her ever again. Come on, her idea of doing something "nice" for him was giving him enough money to buy a soft drink on occasion and letting him clean her out when she was done with the studs. WOW, how nice of her to allow him, with the money HE works to earn, to be allowed that. Won't even mention his cleaning duties. Yuck!!!!

Though as mentioned before. Maybe it can become a series. That would a different way to go. Something for everyone. A bit of drugs,sex, violence and rock and roll!!!

Hey, maybe they can brainwash his wife into being trustworthy and somewhat compliant?? Check out the "Stainless Steel Rat" by Harry Harrison.

Opinions on politics are like anuses. Everyone has them and they all stink!!!

I was thinking, as I've stepped into this universe and open this 2nd sequel with my eyes wide open, I can't complain about how over the top and absurd it is. I was pleasantly surprised that I am not alone in that.

So having embraced the insanity, this instalment was very good. It is well written and there were no typos that kicked me out of the story.

It was an interesting spin to get more info on Renee's time with Pat. Oscar's compassion for Renee was also well written, no RAAC, but 'I want a fair trial'.

Madison, what can I say, psycho bitch from hell, it would be fun seeing her time with Pat, maybe from Pat's perspective seeing a kindred spirit at long last. Do feel bad for Blondie, okay playing with a philanderer is not good, but other than Madison's threat, there was no further mention of her. Will Bill set aside part of the camp for the other halves of the affairs to have a safe place?

Again in the premise of insanity, this could actually turn out to be a fun series.

and now this. The one thing that has me scratching my head is 'What Did Renee Do' that warranted a 30 year sentence? If I read the story right Oscar never cheated yet (I guess) Renee lowered the boom on him any way. Could you please clear this up if you write a second chapter.

She had administered a lethal dose of a chemical that was meant to castrate him. Attempted murder.

the chapter that you wrote before. Sorry I didn't notice before.

As far as I am concerned, every politician’s words sound like they have a mouthful of Derby’s Dose, though, admittedly, some are much worse than others.

not too many prisoners find fact with that premise, TK U MLJ LV NV

Too many disgusting references for my taste. It does feel like a nasty Edrider story in that regards. I like that you're trying to put a decent ending to ANY story Edrider wrote as he repeatedly posted nasty story after nasty story (glad he stopped posting). But if this is the last chapter then you have, once again, left too many questions up in the air. I don't like unfinished stories - period. If this is just one in a series of chapters than have at it. There's a lot of ways this could go. But leave out the nasty details in the future. Thanks for the attempt.

If you should add another sequel, I would suggest that you greatly shorten the discussion of the punishment methods. You could summarize by just saying that the punishments include sexual abuse, drugging, and beatings,

more chapters and in the final chapter renee is set free and oscar is made her custodion

I hope this author continues on until they get Pat. I thought this was the chapter to do that. Looks like it will be a few more chapters.

Nuff delay

I can't wait to see what's in store for the MMAS. It should be something spectacular.

Billy Lines

My own punishment for a cheating husband would be him manicled and forced to watch me with several of his coworkers and boss. Then I would have him endure the anal sex he is so intent on inflicting on me. I would love to see him pegged by a co-worker who could Lord it over him for as long as they are co-workers.

II hesitate to offer any suggestion on how to develop this story because you have my full attention already. I am interested in seeing how you identify the moles in both the DA’s and Public Defenders offices without alerting them so I hope the next segment of Revenge in Advance” will be published shortly.

Really liked your story until you injected politics into it🤮

Awaiting the next installment. My guess is Don the banker will arrange a meeting with Pat. Only this time with Oscar and company as back up. I get the feeling the compound i.e. Fort Apache can also be outside the legal system if need be. Pat the bitch will get squeezed till she rolls over on the MMAS. Then everything comes down like a house of cards. Might be 2 installments but could really only take one. Hope it won't be too long. Good Read!!

Great story so far. Hope pat gets her due as well as the owner of the mmas. Please continue the story

I hope this isn't the end.

Are you ever going to finish this series? Can't give you a rating until it's finished I'm afraid. Do other stories later. Finish this now. Your other stories are nothing compared to this. Alexis Prime

There is still alot to cover.

This story has great potential. Hope you continue.

Did I not read that Renee was cheating on and cuckolding her husband Oscar before he ever opened the "bill" from Fidelity? And she paid the entire $1600 before Oscar met with Pat? She was already cheating on Oscar, maybe even before she went to the spa? If he gets the sentence reduced again, he should make it perfectly clear that she should not expect any more help from him.

In Revenge In Advance Sequel,

"But she'd give him the honor of cleaning her out after her studs were finished. He loved going down on her, after all. And he never seemed to notice the presence of another man's cum in her mouth or her pussy before, so maybe he liked it. Or if he didn't, he never said anything."

She was a cheater before she ever went to MMAS.

It’s crazy...and to find it linked to a neo-nazi site is sickening..damn.

Amusing to have her ask whether they could get back together when we learned that she had already cheated on him in the previous chapter, and gave him sloppy seconds without him knowing.

Even after what she has done to him, Oscar still doesn't know all the ways she has betrayed him.

You write what you write, but she was an ejaculating bitch because of hypnosis ? Why didn't every client get this treatment and vial of chemicals, just him ? Digging deeper and deeper jokes. Up til now , I have really enjoyed reading your other writings. So keep writing those.

The whole concept is preposterous. But that doesn’t stop the story from being enjoyable, well written, and compelling once the reading begins. LW is only a footnote to an intricate, and ridiculous, mystery / legal drama. I’m enjoying the story despite how some scenes are positively disgusting.

The operative words, are: disgusting, and sick. Although the concept is preposterous, there are just enough sick fucks in society that somebody might actually try selling such a policy; and there are some truly sick fucks who’d plan disgusting punishments. The worst might be those in advertising, who prey on weaknesses to sell a product - they’re the enablers.

Keep me glued to each word.

I know there are man haters out there and maybe they should be subjected to the same punishment to see the light....LOL...

If you think that you don't really know what a woman is capable of.

Far more dangerous than males. MANY more mothers kill their kids than fathers, many more....

In part one mean in the Sequel, was mentioned that Oscar never cared to notice another man's semem in Reene's pussy or mouth so she thought maybe he liked that if not then he do not cared. So she thinks , she will make Oscar to that every day without any problem. Now the point is if those lines don't wrriten by author mistakenly then how she will be counted as goody goody and given forgiveness. She did cheated and making fool out of Oscar.

Renee told Oscar about the planned 'Derby's Dose' in a recorded official interview, before he was informed there has been a crime.

The time stamp on the file will prove that it was valid knowledge that describes in detail what then occurred after the fact.

Hearsay is when the validity cannot be confirmed.

Definitely not the situation in this case.

But I'll try to keep it short and not pick at the legalities as they were presented, after all it's the Author's universe

. "So after an abridged version of the Federal Law Enforcement Training curriculum, Oscar was officially a credentialed federal officer with a badge and a gun." Not aware that FLETC offered an "abridged version", all of our LEO's (Law Enforcement Officers) received their long basic training in Georgia.

"...former MSNBC host Martin Bashir in 2013... He ultimately resigned as a result of the controversy raised by the comment." Surely you're not suggesting MSNBC has an agenda? ;-} Or any of the other 24 hour news channels either? Just to be clear, Sarah Palin was not the best choice (!) for a spot on the presidential ticket but she would no more deserve this punishment than any of the husbands in this series.

An entertaining story about about some out of control, disgusting characters out for revenge over what in some cases that hasn't even happened. I'm all for BTB when it's deserved or RAC, both within certain rules of engagement but I'd have no problem voting Madison, Pat and I'm pretty sure a few others to come out of the airlock. Signed: BTW

Good story, and I'm glad we got a clue as to why Oscar's wife started acting like she did.

A little too much forgiveness from Oscar...

Not all Federal Cops go to Georgia the VA police force have a school in Alabama for there in doc and training. we have a new lady at are place that was due to go down May of 2020 but Coved cut the class that was there and they just went back to finish, She is hopping to go do soon before it get to HOT & Muggy

Nice

I'm very glad you decided to contine this series. There are some fucked up peopleout there. Let's hope they are rooted out and punished. Yeah I know it's fiction but so what? I can drean, can't I?

Ha Ha Ha

Five Stars

God continuation

Good writing as usual. We may think some of these tortures are not real and how people could do this to other people.

Sane normal people would never do this kind of stuff. There are a lot sick and twisted people in this world, but there are a lot kind hearted and virtuous people also. Look at some of the groups that believe in female castration. The religions' and beliefs that believe woman should be completely covered so others may not see them. It goes on and on. Still a good story and remember criticizers it is a work of fiction.

Well, really like the character development. Oscar still loves his wife and cares that the children do not hate her. Yes, she did a bad thing but being hypnotized into such behavior does offer mitigating circumstances. I guess I always try to find the good endings and do hope that this could be one of those. Not sure what the good ending will be since Renee is still looking at least 8 years and things can happen. Good, clever writing.

Fuck martin basher and msnbc. What a fuck up.

Well we still don't know if she was a cheater before the spa weekend. And we still don't know if Oscar knows.

"But she'd give him the honor of cleaning her out after her studs were finished. He loved going down on her, after all. And he never seemed to notice the presence of another man's cum in her mouth or her pussy before, so maybe he liked it. Or if he didn't, he never said anything."

Entertaining!

Ed

Quite a saga, it will be interesting to see where this story ends up. 5/5

Happy to see that Oscar didnt give up totally on Renee. I dont think her behaviors were at all believable though, unless she was not only hypnotized but drugged or otherwise lphysically impaired. The whole idea of this MMAS organization made up of powerful women who hate men and want to take over the United States government is amazingly preposterous. It sounds as if it was created by a woman hater himself.

I liked it, and it does prove that not all cops are assholes. Some are just good guys trying to do a shitty job sometimes. I've met quite a few good cops over the years, and personally it's not a job I'd like to have in these times, as you might not make it home one night.

I gave it 5 stars, and look forward to reading the other parts of the story. Thanks for sharing it with us ST1956.

Knocked a couple stars off for the author softening the MC's heart to that bitch he married. Well written and a good plot, but the RAAC theme just sucks balls. No way in hell I would get friendly with the bitch again even though she was hypnotized, because she already was fucked in the head to even think of checking out that shit in the first place.

In an earlier chapter, while Renee was reminiscing, it was stated that Oscar couldn't detect other men's semen in her mouth or cunt which means the skank was cheating on him!! Rot in he'll bitch!!

In chapter one Rennee flat out stated that she had brought home sloppy seconds and figured he didn't know or didn't care. This woman delusional and moral bankrupt beyond redemption. She should NEVER be allowed near her kids and getting her further legal assistance? By the man she nearly killed, or worse? Really? ST real life don't roll that way. It's GREAT to create fiction but truly great fiction, which most of yours is, leans heavily to give the to engage willing suspension of disbelief.

A small thing but perhaps useful to make your stories even better.

To Davezq,

Consider WOKE "feminist" a reasonable progenitor.

1 star, because while Oscar doesn't know the hoe cheated on him, the author does, and he made the main character go all out to make her life better, while she deserved making it worse. She ALREADY not simply cheated on him but gave him sloppy seconds. The whole "hypnosis" thing smells like BS - as Bill says, hypnosis can't make a person do what the don't already want to do.

Excellent story

I was going to say I really liked this story but then I read a couple of reviews that reminded me that Renee had been cheating on Oscar feeding him sloppy seconds and kissing him with a cum filled mouth way before she ever found MMAS. While Oscar has no knowledge of these events Renee deserves her 30 years in jail.

Martin Bashir was right.

Ed

I’m disappointed that ST seems to be saying that adulterers should have no consequences other than being divorced. I have no issues with the concept of torture and death for traitors.

However, MMAS isn’t really “Mutual” there’s no equivalent punishment for wives who cheat. Also, they enable women to feminize and cuckold their husbands. MMAS also doesn’t care if a man is falsely accused.

So, the real issue here is the female supremacy, the unequal application of punishment, and the secrecy and lies. If a couple married knowing that adultery would result in pain and death for either party our society would be better off!!!

ZK

Alright the hypnotizing and shit seems to imply that all that cuckolding and eunuch nonsense wasn't actually Renee. Sure, there was that mentioned in the first part of the sequel series where when reminiscing she mentioned that she had cheated often in the past and even brought home sloppy seconds. Bear in mind there was NOTHING like this even so much as hinted at in the original. I think this was a mistake on the part of ST and he just went a bit overboard because it's LW category so you know let's make her a cheating slut while we're at it. Unless it's brought up again in the story I'm going to ignore this and stick with the original story's portrayal of Renee and say she's innocent in that regard and it was the spa weekend that put all this fucked up shit in her head that changed her. Maybe I'm wrong but it just fits better as far as I'm concerned.

My guess is that Madison, like Renee, wasn't actually as insane as she ended up before the MMAS got involved, and it was a result of the shit as that "spa weekend" that turned her into a psychotic, murdering bitch. I mean come on, if a "good Catholic girl" was like that, do you think he would have even married her? Now it does seem like she was being a bit of a bitch at times which is why Dave cheated on her, but that's a far cry from the lunatic she ended up becoming. Clearly something extreme happened to her that caused her to change.

Anyway, I'm liking the series and hope the MMAS gets its comeuppance. Look I hate cheaters with a passion like many folk do and I agree divorce is getting too easy. But brutally destroying people with physical and mental torture, or murdering is just too far.

I think you should leave a parting remark to the effecs of "about Derby's dose, so-and-so is dead".

Ah, did anyone remember Renee admitting fuck other me and letting husband swab her out afterward; him none the wiser of course. Sorry, maybe not deserving of the needle but certainly 30-50 w/o possibility of parole. And what's with the business of "maybe...we'll play it day by day. ST kind of fluffed that part.