All Comments on 'Revenge or Justice'

...after all - why should he be so eager relying on old proof for his sterility? Noadays (and the past years) all it would take was a simple DNA-test - and case closed. Their obvious need for those testresults (being a slamdunk) seems to clearly point out that this was written sometime before the late 80´s,,,?

No matter: I liked it. 4*

...should have completely read this story before posting a comment. Still, it seems unusual to me that they have waited until the court audition to request or even point out the possibility and necessity of DNA-tests.

Nevertheless, having grown up in good ol´Australia I really enjoy how you point out the aussi-habbits. Thanks for sharing this story.

Just how did justice prevail in this story? Yes...he got revenge on the ex...but what about the character of your "hero?" I think he is a heartless ass!!!! What about the two boys he loved as his sons...until he found they were not? Why was it so easy to shut them out just like that WITHOUT EXPLANATION and just walk away...what did that do to those two innocents? What kind of man can just shrug off the love he supposedly felt for his two children who had no part in this deception and who lost their father all at once without knowing why? I find him despicable for never considering their feelings after he found out and especially in getting his revenge on his ex in such a media circus!!! I know that this is just a story, but he is portrayed as a sympathetic person. My opinion...for what it is worth!!!

Sorry, I made a mistake when I submitted the story,The title was supposed to have a question mark after it. Revenge or Justice? So to answer your question, yes the husband is written as a sympathetic character. Whether he is worthy of that sympathy is up to you.

Sorry mate, but this didn't work for me. I found the storyline uneven & at times a little weird & you certainly didn't help it with the basic written English errors. At times you had Tom telling the story, ok, then it went to 3rd person, ok, but when you have both 1st & 3rd person in the same sentence, that's just lazy writing & editing. Also in 1 short paragraph you called Tom's father Byron in 1 sentence, Brian in the next then Byron again in the 3rd. Proof read you writing, then get an independent person to do it again & THEN send it to an editor, that way it should be close to error free. A lucky

2 **

I'm an Aussie, yet me or any one else I know who is an Aussie never use 'how are you going you old bastard' or 'I'm fine you fat prick' but then maybe I'm from a generation who knows how to speak without being derogatory. 1* for the stereotypical attitude of this 'writer' but then this writer would get lost trying to get from Brisbane to Melbourne going by his directions in another of his stories, so begs the question is he really an Aussie?

The only problem with this story is that he should have ended it all when he divorced her...The shame would always have been with her, not with him...But a good story...

Re. Your comment about geography, I hope you go back to the comments for My Dilemma and see my reply to your erroneous idea. If not, get a map and look up Parkes a rural town on the inland Newell highway between Brisbane and Melbourne. I think you will find that this town or any other one on the Newell Hwy in NSW fits the story passage.

Also if I may suggest a name for you to register on Literotica, how about Dickhead? By the way, that wasn't a term of affection for you.

should have an idea about rope and coverage. TK U MLJ LV NV

The end was kind of a let down. We had not heard about Harlan before and all that happened was what we expected to happen. After a long set up, you need a little something more at the end. Your protagonist needs to learn something from this event. A truth has to be revealed. Otherwise okay.

So he just walks away and says fuck these kids. How does he do that? Of course fuck her but, to abandon the kids like they are shit on your shoe doesn't compute with me.

As kdcee already pointed out, the story changes back and forth between 1st and 3rd POV, sometimes in the middle of a sentence or paragraph. This at least is irritating for the readers. So, why most of the story is it written in the 3rd person's POV at all? All the events are seen through Tom's eyes, and even some thoughts of his are written in 3rd person. It could have been better and giving deeper emotional impact if written totally as Tom's story in 1st person POV.

The idea of a revenge-plot long after the divorce is interesting and quite unique (4* for that.). But something was missing: There were only a few words about the terms of divorce, about what Melanie got in the settlement, what not and why not. Why did she at that time sign away her sons' rights to the estate of their (alleged) father?

To be raised by that harridan. But you portray them as bad guys. Ok.

The author seems to have got some stick from some of the people commenting, a bit unfairly in my view.

OK Tom walked away from his boys, but it does say he provides for them through their lives. I think this goes to the nature/nurture argument, but given that the second boy was only 6 months old at the time this kicked off then maybe the nurture hold wasn't that great. Not sure if its what I would do but there you go. Maybe the author could have expanded on Tom's thoughts feelings at the time and what he did for them to circumvent this criticism?

Is it normal for grandkids to challenge a will where a person leaves the vast bulk of his estate to his kids?

Not sure about the Aussie credentials of the author, but as a Pom with a number of Aussie friends I can attest to their use of the vernacular as a form of greeting/affection. I'd like to think we Poms respond in kind........

Thanks author for your efforts!

The ending needed more details. It was already assumed that he was going to get revenge. I kind of expected a twist where the two kids were really his. But since it went straight to btb, I love the aftermath that most writers post in their stories. Still, a good story nonetheless.

Leonji

But some issues.For one,he could have told Melanie has was sterile back then,she had as much to hide as he did,so little fear of being exposed as,a cuckold.

More importantly,in the story on tv that paints him as a monster,it shows a picture of Tom and melanie playing with their kids,implying they are older,yet in the,story Melanie wants,Tom to get snipped right after #2 is born... [which also Refutes another comment,the boys would have been infants when they divorced,so they didn't lose the only father they knew],so the photo made no sense ,plus her own words,how she had to continue her career to support her sons,doesn't make sense if they got divorced when the kids were older as in the picture.

Not getting DNA is a deliberate plot point.If he did so it would tip Melanie off,by using the medical evidence he can delay until the hearing,allow Melanie to hang herself,then ask for dna at the hearing.

Pretty well written and he lets Melanie hang herself,she chose to publIcize the dirt to make him look bad and promote her book [note to author,it would have been sweeter revenge had the book come out and be a,smash,then the bombshell hits,would have left Melanie in an even bigger shitstorm,prob including losing her job]. A decent btb story where the bitch hangs herself basically.

some comments are about his boys and while this either shows they did not read the story or they are just sick fucks who pollute this site and couldn't care less who their wives sleep with and when a good author tells a story they have to tear it apart because losers know no other way.

Still he took care of her children. He. Could have ended it at the divorce. But let it grow into this bigger than life story . For all the world to see. So he got some revenge. But a lot of family and friends had to indure an unfriendly press, who love to kill you if you are rich and famous.

but I agree with the comments about the ending being rushed.

The author should read this and see if he can find the problem that occurs throughout the story. (Hint; Tom, he, and I are the same person.)

"He was still going through some options in his head on the way to the meeting the next day. Jeremy was once again already in Kate's office when I arrived. Tom didn't mind because he had a question for him before Melanie got there."

Even if Melanie's sons were legit., I don't know how they could have won. But, it proves anyone can FILE a suit. I agree with the previous comment. The story had a number of errors, but switching the narrator from third person to first (sometimes in the middle of a sentence) was annoying.

The ending got me Melanies "old man" gripe I assumed the boys were going to turn out to be his brothers and then the explanation, brilliant. An editor would really have polished it up but still 5*s.

I was honestly afraid you were going to make Tom and Kate's dad out to be the father thereby making them brothers and entitled to money after all.

I'm wondering if some if these moronic comments actually read the story or even truly and honestly understood the concept of being profoundly cuckolded in the truest sense of the word. The kids weren't his! Could arrowdouche and others really convince me that their feelings toward their "children" would not be altered by finding out they were sired by someone else? And that there may be degrees of that alteration based on a million contributing factors? I think the fact he paid for their comfortable living after the divorce showed quite a bit of compassion. Selfless? No, but he showed he understood it wasn't their fault and left without their mother's choices hanging over their head. In the end it did effect them but that was spawned by their collective greed not his embarrassment.

Derogatory remark has been used between close friends in indonesia too. Especially East Java, Surabaya City.

Weak ending though. More detail was needed for the Exes fall.

I liked it (even though there was no reason for the last few paragraphs); 5*

If I had raised those children as my own, finding that our DNA didn't match would have zero effect on my feelings towards them. I would still be their dad. Biology doesn't make you a Dad.

A good read throughout.

Extremely fun build up, but the ending delivers a brief firework display where we were hoping for a volcanic eruption.

While the plot is credible and interesting, the whole story was in manipulating and delaying the revelation to, create a story? The only parts of substance was the filing of the law suit, then the vanquishing of the ex-wife. I think that the bastard sons had some age on them by the time Tom discovered his sterility, so how could he abandon the bond he had formed with them up to that point? Good story stuff you omitted. The first wife apparently was not a serial cheater, but fucked her way into her job. That would make her shallow and greedy, unethical, and unprincipled. So what attracted Tom to her in the first place? Did she change? Did Tom ignore her character flaws? More story stuff not included. In fact, the most interesting parts of this story are what was not included: Their romance, their early married life, any early indications she was unfaithful, the divorce and post-divorce relationship with the first wife and her sons. His decision to keep all this from his second wife bodes ill for that marriage. He did it out of pride, embarrassment, humiliation? Lame excuses. Wouldn't a second wife be suspicious of a man who for no obvious reason stayed aloof of his two sons? The whole story left too many questions unanswered. The answering of which would have made a much more interesting story than the one you told. This ends up being a flash revenge story with a bunch of mediocre filler to make it look more substantial than it actually is. Words are no substitute for ideas. Hope you do better on the next one. Thank You for your efforts on this one.

My only disconnect was the switches between Third and First Person viewpoints. I get the feeling that you started this as a First Person account, but changed it to Third Person and didn't edit out all of the First Person lines.

That's my biggest pet peeve when reading an otherwise enjoyable tale. It cost a star.

4 Stars

POV changes, names change, comma-spliced sentences -- just sloppy, and it shot down an otherwise barely adequate story.

Nice story, one major legal mishap though: as a general rule in all western legal systems as long as one’s parent is alive, one doesn’t have a direct legal right to a deceased grandparent’s inheritance. It’s the parent that inherits and the only thing a grandchild receives is whatever by testamentary stipulation it is awarded. So the whole plot device is essentially legally bogus.

needed another page or so with cataclysmic explosive come down on the cunt bitch

and NBC executive who fathered the 2 boys, and NBC having to put 10million dollars in a trust for the 2 children released to them when they are 21 years old and out of reach of their cunt mother.

5************s

I totally agree with this comment, so many things left out simply to create a revenge story, the whole thing seemed contrived and over dramatic, it reminded me of stangstar male heroes who just pack up and leave without a word and leave the explanation to the great finale. The author said that he is not comfortable with this kind of stories, I guess his inner tendencies toward reconciliation at all costs (RAAC) made this story come out as not...mature.

I enjoy this author, he writes well. But this story as laid out would have been more like 10 or more pages and at least 3 chapters. The idea was great, just not enough substance.

Keep working hard, Charlie!

The only time you really addressed this was with the following paragraph.

<P>

"Why is it ridiculous?" Heather was on her feet. "They aren't even your children," she shouted pointing towards the room in which James and Marita were sleeping.

<P>

So, are they adopted? Was Heather married before and he is a step-father? If his claim against Melanie was that he was sterile, surely someone would ask where James and Marita came from. This would have taken, what, a sentence or two. It just adds to the sloppy nature of the story.

<P>

{This is the "I'm not a lawyer but... part of this comment}

<P>

By not addressing the paternity all those years ago may have given Melanie a loophole. There have been too many cases where a guy is still forced to pay child support for kids who are biologically his because he never took action when he found out the true paternity. His name is still on the birth certificates and he is still publically known as the boys’ father. Now when it comes to the will he makes it an issue. This may be too little too late.

Some say it's due to American service men stationed there.

I think you'll find seppo is a derivation of septic, of course I could be wrong.

writing a story about real concerns and not about the over-done fantasy of the willing cuck!

It was his fathers will. Even if he is obligated to pay child support, the kids are not the grandkids of his father. Indeed, even if they were, there is no obligation to give your grandkids nothing.

Good show, mate! Enjoyed your story and writing. Seppo, septic, who gives a shit? The broad got fucked for the fukin' she got. Cheers!

I enjoyed the read. It certainly had its moments. A couple of questions came to mind. Why didn't he have the boys DNA tested before he first divorced Melanie? Seems that would have been a logical step to assure him that they weren't his kids. Why did you skirt around the fairly large issue of Heather's kids not being his kids? You mentioned that Heather had been his rock early on in their relationship but the few times she was mentioned further along in the story she didn't seem "rock" like. In fact, a one point she seemed ready to bail. And why would Heather agree to move to Australia? In fact, why would Tom go there? Just to reconcile with his Father? He has a very successful business in the Napa Valley, they were near Heather's family and they just pull up and move half way around the world? That wasn't explained at all. And in the end, you just seemed in too much of a hurry to finish the story. After all the detail earlier in the story it seems that some time spent on the aftermath of the Courtroom drama was called for and you just seemed rushed at the ending. The jumping back and forth from third person to first person was also annoying. Overall a good story, but there were some chances to make it better.

Interesting story. Talk about your own petard... Wow. Well done!

.....I'm sorry to say, I felt the ending was anemic.

After all that build up, you might have made the story much more to enjoy by "ramping" up the end. The anticlimax of Tom leaving and Melanie skulking away, was a bit of a comedown.

It almost begs a Paul Harvey's "The Rest of The Story" follow up.

Y'see, when you do well, people want to know more.

What happened to the two boys, Melanie and the old man, Harlan.....was he still alive? Was he well enough off that Melanie could go after him? There's the whole story about the affair that gave her the two boys....so it wasn't just an occasional flingy-bit between she and Harlan.

Stereotypically, Melanie was a very ambitious media type (in my mind, closely related to a cross between a street-walker and a banshee). Having no need to be hamstrung by the truth, and having obviously abandoned marital fidelity as a moray, she was perfectly in character as the shrieking media bitch. But we are intrigued by the situation that gave rise to her having a long time affair with an obviously old man.....who knew more than he was revealing about his own situation.....and the two boys that issued from it....well, Tom could legitimately have sued for return of maintenance for the two boys (it was indeed very galant that he did not take such action at the time, in view of the expensive education for the two he'd paid for) although by the time of this story, it would have been too late and a nuisance. But they might want to get to know their biological dad. He might want to know them, perhaps not ever knowing they were his.....and Melanie needs some more burn-time...oh, yes, that bitch ain't burned enough yet by a very, very large quantity.

So another, perhaps two, stories to tell the whole sordid tale?

I'd read 'em!

When I read about Sweetie's post-hearing comment, my guess about who was Daddy was Gramps. DNA would kinda exculpate Hubby, but it would establish the kids as SONS of the deceased ... they could STILL be excluded from the estate, but it would have to have been explicit in the will rather than them being ignored. Welcome to your new BROs!

Sounds like that is NOT what the DNA tests will establish, but maybe Real Daddy's estate is not trivial!

4*

Just a small note only when made in Scotland i.e. 'Scotch' is Whisky spelt without an e. No matter how good it is or what awards it may get if it is made elsewhere then it is "whiskey". Liked the story though

First up, Brian vs Byron is not an error. Kate's husband is Brian... from page 2:

> "It's okay Kate, I know what you mean. Will I see you tonight?"

>

> "Yes, Brian and I will both be home for dinner."

He's not mentioned much, but it would make logical sense that the news of Tom's father's cancer would have come via close family, which points at Kate or her husband.

Tom's kids not being related is also mentioned in that section:

> "Hmm, that explains a lot. I never could understand why he didn't try harder with Melanie and the boys, I thought they were his only grandsons..." I mean, you know, blood grandsons because James..."

Moving right along, the age gap between the two children doesn't seem to be specified, the minimum it is likely to be is 8-9 months but given the father it's more likely to be at least maternity leave over that, so lets call it 18 months to 2 years gap.

They split up when the younger one was 6 months old, just as the mother was going back to work, so this holiday that has been mentioned likely put them at 4 months and ~20 months:

> They were taken on the first day, on the second day Melanie checked into a private hospital for liposuction and a tummy tuck to rid herself of the extra kilos after her second pregnancy. Tom and the boys had swum, snorkeled, rode jet skis and gone to theme parks for the rest of the time.

Incidentally, 4 months old babies can indeed swim, from what I remember.

I have to assume that the comments talking about "how could he abandon his children, blood or not" clearly haven't seen a messy divorce with young children. There's plenty of remarks in this story to show that Melanie is a vindictive, money grabbing bitch... I would imagine his life with her wasn't much better than his treatment by her during the story. That's not an environment where you form functional emotional bonds.

And finally, remarks about why he waited and why he wanted the old medical notes.

If he had aired that when divorcing, the children would have been heavily disadvantaged and the wife would have been even more vindictive. As it was, she was paid to shut up and go away in a way that would have left her thinking she'd won and wouldn't have caused negative side effects for Tom and his family. It was a nice way out.

When she decided to bring a suit based on paternity, the fastest way to shut it down with maximum harm to her reputation is not "I'm sterile" because that invites argument that he became sterile after the fact, and with the years intervening it becomes a mess that DNA tests don't help because she would argue that he didn't know at the time. He has to prove that, at the point of divorcing, he knew that he was sterile and had been before the birth of the children. There's very little room to argue against that, and organising the divorce without including that would likely reflect positively on him.

So, grammatical and tense execution errors aside, the plot is not nearly so broken as it appears if you don't bother to read the story properly before commenting.

Really need to merge "Loving Wives" with "Sci-Fi & Fantasy" (emphasis on "Fantasy").

Yes, I stuffed up a few times with the first person/third person thing. All my previous stories gave been in first person I just felt like a change. I don't think there were that many instances although when it occurs in one sentence it's bad.

Heather's children are from a previous relationship, I didn't spell it out but thought you could read between the lines.

Got to surrender on the holiday part too, the children probably would gave been too young for the activities mentioned.

The previous comment explained the Brian/Byron part but I probably shouldn't have had two names so close in spelling.

Lastly I've got to congratulate some very perceptive commenters who guessed that this was an idea searching for a story. The idea of a media driven trial turning back on the aggressor was the germ of the idea behind the story and I tried to make up a story to fit it. Once again sorry if it didn't live up to your expectations.

Awesome!

Back and forth between first and third person wasn't a big deal because you established the protagonist well; there was no issue with who "I" was. Aussie slang is really pretty logical, septic not so much. Thanks for that explanation. I do think you telegraphed the ending from the outset, taking away from the story's enjoyment. Good writing. Five stars.

Under NY probate law the ":sons" had no standing under the will. Their only option was to set it aside based on some legitimate legal ground. However that would not have helped them because if the "grandfather" had died intestate (without a will) his children would be his sole heirs. The "sons" would have been on the next level removed, so again no money. Nice BTB story though.

"He was old, he said he'd been fixed..." I thought for a moment she'd had an affair with the father in law.

I've written a bunch of stories and I almost always end up using localities where I either live, visit frequently, or grew up. I liked the 'home grown' flavor here.

You told a good story. It was lots of fun. You didn't throw in a lot of gratuitous 'in and out', and the unfaithful wife needn't have ever been exposed as an adulterous person. Poor stupid Melanie had to have known why her husband had left her. I guess she just saw the dollar signs. One can only assume there at the end she lost the loyalty of her two sons. That was too bad.

I guess maybe I'm stupid, but somewhere mightn't you have let her former husband show his true manliness. I wonder, maybe outside the courthouse if he might not have approached her, expressed his regret at her long ago wantonness and current foolishness, and maybe even forgiven her. Sort of a, "Melanie I'm sorry you did this. I'm sorry you destroyed what had been, to me anyway, a happy marriage. And I'm sorry you've unnecessarily hurt your boys. I hope they can forgive you."

An interesting story, but not erotic.

FIVE STARS!

Forgiving those who have wronged you when they are still wronging you, have at no time ever given you a sincere apology and have never made any attempt at amends is not being manly but being stupid.

For the Christians, think of it this way; if your god only forgives those that ask for forgiveness then to expect humans to even forgive those that do not ask is to expect humans to exceed your god.

If humans can do that, then who should be worshiping who?

Thanks for sharing,

You know...when we were kids, we'd sit up late at night under the covers asking ourselves "What did we do?" Eddie took it the hardest. I mean, literally the moment he was born, you just disappeared from our lives. I told him and told him that it wasn't his fault, but I don't know that he ever truly believed me.

He used to ask me stories about you all the time. And I was just two or so when you told us to fuck off. So I was stuck making up stories about you. Trying to make sense of it all. That you had big important work somewhere that made you leave us. That maybe you still loved us somehow, even if you were gone.

Eddie still sees a therapist. Good on you 'DAD'. You left us a trust fund to pay for private schools and therapy and braces...but you also left that fucking empty chair. That empty chair in Scouts. That empty chair when I graduated elementary school, then middle school, then high school. That empty chair in every school play. I hate the very words "Family Day" even now.

Occasionally mom tried to fill the chair with some flavor of the month. You know what she's like...oh wait. You don't. *I* know your ex wife better than you do because I've been in her life even longer than you ever were. Some of them were okay. Some of them were pieces of shit. And they were inflicted on us to fill in that empty chair.

We learned to muddle on.

Mom was pouring poison in our ear constantly of course...and we didn't want to believe her. Because Grandpa was a real gentlemen. You know he visited us once in a while? He obviously felt bad for us and he always felt uncomfortable around us but he MADE A FUCKING EFFORT. And he always defended you, which made us more confused. How could you be a good man and abandon us like that?

So when he died....mom went on a rampage and honestly, Eddie and I had a lot of talks about what we were going to do. Did we want to support her?

But you didn't even invite us to our grandfather's funeral. That showed us exactly what kind of loyalty you felt to us. Forget Mom. US, your KIDS! We didn't even merit that kind of consideration.

So yeah, we showed you the exact same amount of loyalty you taught us over the years. What family was supposed to mean. The obligations owed. It was a distance learning course, but your lessons came through loud and clear.

So Eddie and I want to thank you. Thanks for making us public bastards. Thanks for alienating our last parent from our affections (She might be a stupid heartless twit, but she's OUR stupid heartless twit....and she was THERE 'DAD'! She was reading the stories to us. She was feeding us. Where were you?)

But mostly, we want to thank you for the sense of relief we both now feel. We will gladly take the humiliation. We will take the jokes and the elbow nudges and the awkward questions from our friends. We'll take the spectacle.

Why? Because now, whatever low life bum Mom got knocked up by, it has to be better than being related to YOU! Go to Tasmania and never ever try to talk to us again. You don't exist for us any more than we ever existed for you.

Charles (Last name in the process of being changed)

I like that you can read between the lines and found that Byron kept in contact with the boys.

In the end

I write to please myself. If I bring you joy, it is a bonus. If you don't like them, I'm sorry. Try someone else.

Sound familiar?

When I read a story, I always seem to read it slant wise.

The most interesting character wasn't Thomas or Melanie. It was Charles and Edward.

You DO realize that a two-year old doesn't remember anything, right?

Worthless cunt didn't know what hit her. That's what happens when you're a stupid cheating cunt. I can imagine how everyone thought the grandfather was the actual father of the children but happily he wasn't. Not everyone is built for betrayal. So our hero was exonerated from the claim and everyone knew the ex-wife was a slut. Another tale from the cunt's er I mean the ex-wife's point of view would be nice, but not necessary. Great tale about revenge and justice.

Five Stars

No worries FD I'm a live and let live kind of person and everybody sees things differently. Just as well otherwise we would all be bored to death.

Loved this story, and found it worth re-reading it. Great to see a cheating slut get her comeuppance. Would love to know how the slut faired afterwards

Gee, innocent cuckold finds out about faithless wife and leaves her with her career, her two little bastards, and some old turd who she let knock her up twice so she could further a very profitable career and someone says it's all innocent cuckold's fault? The adulterous cow couldn't find another 'good' man her own age? The boys never figured out maybe why innocent cuckold might have left? Old turd never hung around to tap faithless whore some more?

And what's not manly in forgiving the conniving faithless worthless whore? Forgiveness never precludes punishment. "I forgive you because I'm a man and I can't nurse hatred all my life, but because I'm a man I have to see to your punishment because I live in a 'just world' and you most certainly earned it."

Thanks again for the story.

The name's Clampett, Jedd Clampett.

The posters blaming Tom for any of this have to be on drugs. The whore got divorced with a healthy settlement but just didn't know when to quit. Her greed along with her trying to generate publicity for a tell all book that was nothing but malicious lies caused her and her kids pain. The kids would have no recollection of Tom from such a young age so any damage to them was again caused by the whore and her schemes.

Tom should of sued her lying ass for damages imho.

thanks for the offering.

Both of you write the biggest cuckold stories out there. Carvohi, your males are such pussies you middle name should be "WACC". And FD45, I have no idea why you would even open your mouth. You wrote a story where the wife openly fucked some guy and the worst thing that happened to her was she go to share in the debts when they got a divorce. "I'm sooooooo scared", talk about a pussy assed man. At least CB4 got some justice. You two are nothing but WACC loving "BITCHES". Good job CB4. "4****"

Kids at two don't remember much. But every child will ask 'who is my father' is he is missing.

Since Melanie never seems to have remarried, the question raised by her kids would need answering. And since Grandpa seems to have stayed somewhat involved, well...there is no question about WHO Dad was.

So all the kids are left with is 'why'. I'm sure Melanie left their ears filled with poison...but the fact they were uncomfortable when they saw their dad...they seemed to have some sense of shame.

While I agree Thomas got vengence on MELANIE, he also did tons of collateral damage to his kids...WHO DID NOTHING WRONG!

He could have made it go away quietly. Had a quiet talk with Melanie and the boys. He wanted Revenge. Fine. But when you firebomb someone's house, you need to own up that maybe his kids are there too.

That is what Thomas did. And a 'real man' would own up to EVERYTHING he does, not just the parts which make him look good. So I can get why his sons would be angry at their dad. He abandoned them. If you can't face this simple fact, you must be an Egyptian.

while the story is well written, the basic premise is faulty- grandchildren have no right to inherit, especially when the parent who connects them to the decedent is still alive. every person has the right to write a will and disinherit all their descendants- only a spouse has a right to contest a will that seeks to cut her out entirely. in the event a decedent died without a will, grandchildren have a right to inherit only if their parent predeceased the grandparent- still, the story was well written- i gave it a four

Hope to see more of this type of story from you. I won't read your other work because I have no place in my heart for cheaters who reconcile, or willing cuckolds. "Once a cheater always a cheater" is very accurate in most cases. A good childhood friend was so in love with his wife that he killed himself after he caught her cheating a third time. He left behind a recording of her shaming him for not being man enough to stop her. He should have shot her instead.

Yes finally another pretty good story. I have to say that I really did enjoy this story. it was so refreshing to read a story that was as believable as this was . It came across as something that could really could happen. Damn good job with this story.

I have no problem with what he did to the ex. But it sounds like he walked away from a five year old As well as the infant. That poor kid grew up only knowing his dad abandoned him. He never knew mom was a slut or why his dad left. No more playing on the beach and no explanation why.

I can understand his pain but he was cruel to a child who called him dad. And then he exposes it all to the world.

And did the kids change names in the middle? Though I can understand not wanting to be Tom jr when you think Tom abandoned you.

I had come to believe a very different twist.

I was waiting for Melanie's attorney to smile quietly during the statement made by Jeremy, and to then hand DNA results already taken showing that Tom was a half brother to Melanie's sons. The two boys would have had standing to challenge the Will only if they were heirs of the deceased, their father.

The switching back and forth did not bother me...still enjoyed the story itself. This was the first of your stories I read and I intend to read some more!

But he should have ended it the charade when he left.

I suppose your story had many of the problems mentioned in these comments. Since I read it for fun instead of as a critic, I really didn't notice them until after reading the comments.

I would like to comment on those who think the husband was an ass for walking out on the boys: WHAT PLANET ARE YOU LIVING ON? He paid for their expenses while they grew up, and it seems he paid very well. Do you really suppose any court in the USA would have awarded him custody of the boys? What would you have him do, continue living with the cheating wife just so he could support the boys? Since Anons don't have a name tag, we can't tell who writes which comments, but could this be the same Anons who bitch about wimpy cuckolds now complaining about a man who isn't a wimp?

I GAVE YOU A FIVE ON THE BASIS OF HOW MUCH I ENJOYED IT. THANKS

1. Stay married to Melanie, raise her children and be a cuckold for the next 20 years or so.

2. Expose Melanie in the divorce and let her kids grow up knowing that they were being raised by a mother who was a cheating whore (there's no way he would have gotten custody, and exposing her would probably have meant she'd never make it in her career, especially if the identity of the real father was uncovered).

3. Do what he did, be the bad guy in the divorce and protect the kids from the truth about their mother.

Note that he provided financially for the kids, and apparently very well.

If he had exposed her it most likely would have caused her to lose her job, then he would have ended up paying her spousal support (alimony).

Most men that divorce a cheater do not want to pay her for ruining the marriage.

Years after the fact, no going back to court for support, let the nukes fly.

and enjoyed the comments... Interesting was that Heather immediately got upset about how he was treating the boys. She was sensitive. I also agree that neither she or Kate did nothing to deserve their humiliation during the two weeks that Melanie was building a case in the court of public opinion. But I said I enjoyed it! and I am happy that the author posted.

I had the distinct impression early on that there would be twist in the ending - Toms' father being found to be the father of Charles & Edward!

Could have provided more intrigue, and an alternative motive for the split between Tom and his father?

Good story though, enjoyed it.

Well done Charlie. It had it's rough patches and wasn't perfect, but it was heads above 90% of the stories posted in this category, and it was free! Please don't let the critics get you down, some of them don't even like The Bible and it's the best piece of fiction ever written.

These kinds of stories that are based on money just rub me the wrong way. First of all, who is the intended audience? I am not born into old money, and I would never be as rich as the husband, so I can’t really sympathize. I'm pretty sure most of the readers are in my shoes. Secondly, people who do not have money want it get it, the easier the better. The greed is a natural compulsion, which makes people human. It is a weakness no doubt, but it undeniably there, especially in people who are not rich, who are most of the people in the world, the 99%ers. So the author’s snobby mockery of the wife’s greed just doesn’t win points with me because it hits home. The only reason I would enjoy reading stories as this one is if I enjoy reading about other people’s failures without empathizing I can easily be one of the losers, and unfortunately there are people without empathy.

Well written , interesting use of slang in the dialogue.

Unfortunately, there really wasn't any conflict. The emotional conflict ,betrayal had happened far in the past. The resolution for me was a duex-ex-machina( I'm sorry if I got that wrong). I mean pretty automatic.The drama with his father was skipped over.

This post didn't upset me, didn't make me feel anything.

Gave you 3*s because you do have a record of better performance.

So you whiffed on this story. You'll do better next time.

AMerryMan

This may have been mentioned in previous comments (I didn't read them all) - There is no state in the country in which a grandchild would have any basis for a claim against the estate of a grandparent unless the grandchild's parent had predeceased the grandparent.

I really like this story. There were a couple of mix ups but it read alright. Wasn't most of the first person stuff dialogue? It would be really weird if the characters speaking in the story referred to themselves in the third person.

Only thing I would have liked to see is the media pack getting some of the medicine too. Five big stars from me

I would have loved to have been I the court room! Bravo

When people write wills and don't want to leave anything to someone, they invariably leave them the smallest amount possible, for instance $1.

Leaving someone out of a will sometimes allows for a dispute about the will. But if you were already included, but got shafted by it, you're still most likely shafted.

Since the grandfather specifically wanted to leave them nothing, he'd have most likely followed that path.

As previously noted by another commenter, there was really never any legal basis for the ex or the children to file against the grandfather's will, because grandchildren have no legal right of inheritance so long as their parents are still alive. So gramps had no obligation to say anything at all about his "grandchildren" in his will and their suit was frivolous, especially since it went so far as to name the totally uninvolved Kate as a defendant as well as Tom.

Unless Tom's lawyer was incompetent, we have to assume that Tom didn't want him to move to dismiss the suit that quickly because he wanted to let his ex turn the whole thing into a media circus so he could expose her in open court and the press and send her down in flames.

I've had many clients who mistakenly thought as you that they could cut a black sheep child out of a will by leaving him $1.

In fact though the statutes of most jurisdictions which provide for a spouse or children to contest a will provide that the will may be altered by a judge who is of the opinion the will did not make adequate provision for a spouse or child.

If leaving nothing is inadequate, so is leaving $1.

Not having read the statutes of all jurisdictions, I s'pose there might be some place that the legislation is so badly drafted to make this old wives' tale true, but I don't know of any.

A Canadian lawyer

I can’t believe that he would let some foolish pride let him protect her reputation. Some people may deride him for being a cuckold, but she would be exposed as an adulterous bitch, not good for her career, and meanwhile he’s looking like a cad for abandoning his family.

He doesn’t even need Dr. Nelson, a simple paternity test will prove his case.

This story was an interesting take on a BTB story. I offer a critique and hope this constructive criticism will be take in the correct light. It is not an attack on the author but meant to help him in his future works.

IMHO, parts of the story was a bit of telling the reading rather than showing. At points it read like a lecture about events and people instead of drawing the reader into the heart of the characters and story line.

The other problem, a small one, was that the tense of the story shifted several times. It went from third person to first person and back again. The story was interesting enough that this didn't stop the reader but it was confusing at times and interrupted the flow.

Again CharlieB4, this comment is meant to help and not to condemn. You have a vivid imagination and skills as an author. Please continue to post your work and we will continue to read them.

Thanks for the hard work. I know what a chore it is to put together a story and to make a reader want to follow your efforts.

Woodmanone

A fictional story. Why do all the details need to be perfect? Why does each character need to behave in a certain manner? Why does it make any difference if the whiskey is made in Tennessee or Tasmania? It's just a story people! An entertaining one at that. Full of different characters, acting out for various reasons that were well tied together. So why all the arguing and complaining in the comments section? Too funny! My two cents worth is as follows. Tom wasn't the nicest guy in the world. He divorced his wife and two kids without so much as a how-do-you-do! I wonder how badly Melanie felt at that moment in time? I wonder how the two boys felt when the only man they knew as "father" just up and left them? Melanie obviously was a manipulative bitch, but we really don't know why. She just seems to be someone that wants to climb the ladder of fame and fortune and used Tom as a stepping stool. I wasn't too happy with Tom's second wife either. She seems to want to kick him out when this whole thing gets going and I got the feeling she used him as a money source to take care of her and her two kids. Tom's sister seemed to be the only decent character in the lot. So while I enjoyed this story I could use a second chapter that had more background information and more information about the fallout for Melanie (did she lose her job) and the rest of the family. Does Heather divorce him and move back to Napa with HER children? So many questions..........

How do I ficking go away? It must be something I missed while I was out chasing those sexy pigs. Lol.

and still maintained integrity. TK U MLJ LV NV

It could have been handled quite tidily at the conference meeting. Same result, less public drama for her, Tom, Heather, and the family businesses.

because he is still a wimp, shoulda also walked out on heather, and her kids, asd she

adamantly stated, when was he gonna walk out on her and her kids.

tom did the right thing by shoving it up melanies many times over fuck ass.

othervthan being a wimp to heasther, a great tale.

"Melanie got her first job in television, doing the weather in a local news bulletin when she was recruited by old man Harlan. He owned and ran that NBC affiliate station. Obviously her big break came with strings attached."

So, basically, Harlan is not an employee of the network - and never was. An "affiliate station" is, by definition, owned by someone other than the owners of the main network. These usually serve small to mid-size markets. The network would not be liable for anything that Harlan does, just so long as it stays at that one station only. Harlan and his one local station would be sued, but it would end there.

That changes if Melanie is an employee of the network and knowingly transmits defamatory or false news over the main network or its owned-and-operated stations. An employer is responsible and legally liable for everything its employees do in the course of their duties. The network is also responsible to the FCC for anything that goes out over its big city "O&O" stations, as it directly holds those licences itself (these'd be places like NYC, LAX, SFO... the largest stations in the network).

Vicarious liability is a lawyer's nightmare. As such, it's unfortunate to name a real network this way in a story intended as fiction.