All Comments on 'Ride Share'

Meh. I appreciate you sharing your story. I would recommend that you make your dialog more believable. In particular you relied too heavily on it to narrate and it did not sound like a conversation and it ignored basic human reactions when people are confronted with wrongdoing. And, it did not adequately explain why two spouses betrayed their vows.

Needed a bit of a grammar clean up, some parts were confusing cuz of spelling errors and syntax mistakes.

If I'm understanding this correctly, they're all scumbags. Steve and Carol were just sneakier, cruel and vindictive.

Really a good story up till the ending when all the kids did an ancestry test. At that point, it became a truly great story of almost epic proportions. LMAO. LP

LOL, good ending after rather mediocre beginning.

Told you it was a good one. He'd better take his real wife, Carol, and get out of Dodge! Maybe even out of Ford or Chevy!!

If the end was true, he and she wouldn't ever uncover the shit pan of their spouses cheating...That's why this story fails...2*

I'm glad I read this story first today, it means things can only get better.

I tried but couldn't find one single thing to praise: the writing was terrible, please either read through a few times or get an editor. The plot was old and tired, the characters were wooden and thoroughly unlikeable and the narrative was unbelievable and quite impossible to read at times. And the ending! I imagine the author thought it made a good twist but it just piled shit on to a heap of manure.

Good to the last and unexpected drop. Still smiling as I write this. One short area wher you made 3 wrong word mistakes shortly after Donna arrives, but I'll still give you a 5 based on my enjoyment of the story.

Could have done without the twist at the end. Hence, 2*

S'alright, but feels like a twist just for twist's sake. If that was really the situation, I'm not seeing why Steve and Carol couldn't just maintain the status quo after the discovery. It's not like they made out that well from the divorces either.

How about taking night school tuitions has n English bib?

Nice twist at the end. You need someone to fix your grammar and typos

This convoluted mess was hardly worth the effort to read. Throw in the “plot twist” at the end and the only thing it meant was the plot made even less sense.

You open with an armed man confronting his wife and her lover and end with him being the father…so who did he hurt? For all that, who was in the wrong?

There was no good guy or bad guy, just in likeable characters.

Nice Twist at the end.

Marines and Seals are two different branches of military.

So they were all cheating a sort of cheating swap for 23 years. The kids are going to be really confused.

Ha! I didn't see that coming.

You know you're in for a bad time when the very first word has two spelling mistakes!

The plot was weird, over-dramatized and cumbersome. Sorry Omegaman.

Poorly written, omitting relevant data, like how many and the ages of Carol's kids. Due to this and other issues it lost the ZING of the TWIST.

/

One big was why did Carol have kids with Steve, did they already know about Laura & Bob but Steve & Carol only getting mad when the definitive DNA discovery - otherwise no sense and hypocrites? Why was Steve so pissed when he hung the horns on Bob years ago. Logic severely eludes this story, as written.

/

3* at best

Good ending. An editor/ proofreader is definitely needed because the story was difficult to read due to many small mistakes. But it had a good plot and flowed well.

Don't mind Karnevil, it's just someone that shits on any story that involves a firearm.

I really find it amusing that authors expect 'feeding him creampies' would be in the normal lexicon of a random housewife, anywhere in the world. It's the sort of thing people with a certain fetish talk about on sites like this, but it's not a conversation you could normally expect to hear among people not exposed to erotic writing.

Hilarious. The tards have down voted it.

Ha Ha Ha, what a twist ending 4* for that!

Published twice?

First and foremost Navy SEALS are NOT Marines, thus their title NAVY SEALS.

Marine have their own reconnaissance units.

Grammar, especially misplaced quotation marks made this very difficult to read. Get and editor next time and take the couple of minutes to Google what you might not understand.

Punctuating Dialogue

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You have a bad habit of not using closing quotation marks.

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If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative.

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When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

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When one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed.

Not really sure how I feel about this story. On one hand I should like it but I'm just not getting that feeling. Seemed very emotionless to me and really hard to root for anyone in it. Really not sure about the twist at the end either. Thinking that just made it worst. Thinking a longer more detailed story would have been better.

Yeah, OP needs to lay low, since he's got both Marines and Navy SEALs looking to give him a turbo-wedgie and buy beers all night. The ending was interesting, but it wasn't a smooth transition as maybe it could've been. VERY interesting premise, though. 5-stars for being über original!

LOL!

Hilarious!

I just loved the end!

What a wonderful twist, the cheaters were in fact cheated on and the kids in both families are not Bob’s, downright hilarious

5/5

Fun, I would have preferred that Bob and Carol had known all along about the carpool fucking.

the only thing worse than cucks are hypocrite cucks

I wish it would have been funny, the end was worth a chuckle, brought it up to a 3, but the rest was so....cliched. They fucked for years but it was only stress relief? yeah no, no one fucks that long without it being far more than bumping uglies. It gets kind of tedious having the exact same woman in every story just with another name.

That was a good.one, even with the SEALS gaffe. I was kind of expecting the kids thing, but that cream pie shot was hilarious.

Hey Prince020402 Navy Seals can in fact be, and frequently are, marines. Just as an FYI the Marine Corp is part of the Navy.

It's an okay story line but the writing is horrible. You really need an editor.

Nice, funny twist at the end. Lived it!!!

Poorly written. But great end of story twist.

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4 **** just for the twist 🥳

4* for creative end. The rest was 3* though…

I have to second all the comments made by Prince020402. Man this was a difficult read.

Does Forward really mean Foreword?

It goes downhill from there!

You have a wacko mind, and i love it!!

So everyone in the story was a cheating asshole? As usual it is the kids who pay the price. Just a disgusting pile of human waste. What is interesting or erotic about that?

Thanks for the effort.

not world class

some of you readers expect all stories on a porn site to be perfect in all aspects. Have you all gone off your rockers. Yes I guess you probably fell and couldn't get up.

Since you can't get up at least get real.

Strangely enough, i thought it kinda funny. I mean, like others have said, everybody was an asshole in the story, but still, the twist at the end was funny.

Fun little tale. The end twist was good, but should have been made more smoothly; it made the reading, already very disjointed due to errors, much more difficult. Nearly all of the errors in this would have been picked up by Word or Google Docs, and adding Grammarly would have got 95%. Please be careful with advice: the anon who carefully explained the use of quotation marks is wrong. You don’t have to start a speech paragraph with the inverted commas. Just think about a paragraph which starts:

Bob said, “You should be careful.”

There is great advice on line, and in Lit’s help pages. It’s not always consistent, but then neither is English grammar. As an example, in my quote above, should the full stop/period be inside or outside the quote? Both are used and have their advocates.

Either way, I hope you keep writing - it would make your readers’ experience better if you could get rid of some of the mistakes.

Very entertaining, at least all the kids are from one father lol

LAURA WAS A CUM DUMP FOR BOB. TOO BAD THE DUMB BASTARD DUMPED IT WHEN THE SLUT WAS FERTILE. SHOULD HAVE WORN A RUBBER RAINCOAT. THE REASON THEY DIDN'T LIVE TOGETHER LONG, WAS SHE''S A PIECE OF ASS, NOT A REAL WIFE. STEVE SHOULD HAVE SHOT THE WORTHLESS WHORE...

Classic, Classic, Classic That which was good for the goose was equally as good for the gander... Laugh, my pants may never get dry. I am sure I see an ass-kickin in the future, by Bob & Laura. LP

Decent story ruined by ending. By making all four despicable, this became just a story of loathsome people all around. I would have rated you a five before the ending.

Great turn around!!! LOL!!!

Good humor! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oh gosh, such a clever ending. Made me laugh like crazy. Very, very good. LP

This is a love/hate story. Love it that Bob and Laura got what was coming to them. Hate it that the alleged victims in this story where was worse. At least Bob and Laura were not hypocrites.

The big question would be is how the judge were to unravel that mess. I guess Steve would have to be give back all back child support and give an extra amount for the fourth child. Well, at least Steve can tell his parents they have four grandchildren, just none of them are ones they thought they had. 😲

Funny, funny, funny. The next to the last sentence said it all. I burst out laughing.

Load of jumbled nonsense.

Hahaha

The state of public education these days is deplorable. If you weren’t so undereducated you would know that “Omega” is the last letter in the Greek alphabet and has come to mean “the bottom” or “the last”. Which I suppose is appropriate.

Ha!

Funny ending. But be real. Why wait 23 years to confront? Is author saying that MC and Carol cheated without knowing about the affair between their spouses?

LMOL!!!!

5 stars

Bizarre (and odds on incredibly unlikely) that neither husband managed to get his own wife pregnant in twenty plus years when clearly both are fertile.