Rocket Man

"Commander, do you know that he thought us being trapped on the station was a good thing? He told me as soon as I got back that no one ever remembered the scientists and mission specialists from any NASA mission. They're all just nameless geeks, he told me. As a matter of fact, no one remembers any astronauts except for you. But, us being trapped in space, with a chance of dying caught the attention of the world. And you saving my life in space made ME famous and you an even bigger legend.

So we got married, and he expected me to campaign for him. And I did, because married couples support each other in their dreams. I'd had my chance at going to space, so it was his turn.

But the wheels fell off of his plan in an unexpected way. We were approached by a Senator Cargill about running for the senate. Cargill wasn't even from our political party but Jeff was willing to switch parties, just so we could serve the people from our community. He was ecstatic, all the way until we had the actual meeting with the senator, and he found out that the senator didn't want to support HIM for the senate run; he wanted ME.

The senator told us to take a few days and think about it. Jeff decided that he would become my campaign manager, which would give him high visibility to the party. He could use that to network and build up his own reputation. After the election, we could use those connections to help with his run for state senate or state house in the next election. I thought it was a good idea. There was only one problem.

We assumed that since Jeff had lost both of his bids at getting elected to a local office, there was no way that I would get elected to the national Senate. I mean think about it. Jeff was a lawyer with political experience. I was basically a nerd. My degree was in agricultural botany. I grow plants. There was no way anyone would vote for me.

Two weeks before the election, Jeff had already written the speech that I would give when I conceded the election. Naturally, there were several sections where I talked about how I would be spending my time helping my husband to get elected in his State Senate run.

The problem was that I won. I won handily. Senator Cargill's people had put me in the right places at the right times, and the voters seemed to appreciate both my honesty, and the fact that I wasn't a career politician. Farmers loved it when I talked about plants and legislation to make things easier for family farms. Small businessmen loved it too.

So we edited the plan. Jeff would become my chief of staff and use the time in DC to make connections and get support for his own Senate run. I would step down after one term and throw my support behind him. He would also be able to learn the ins and outs of DC politics during my term. It was actually a good thing because it would allow him to leap frog years of being mired in local politics. He could start out in DC as a senator and who knows how far he could go after that.

I became a very popular politician, but my heart really wasn't in it. Jeff and I argued constantly about how selfish I was and how I should be doing more to advance HIS political aspirations. I worked long hard days during the week and went home every weekend to appear at local events and talk sessions with my constituents.

Just before the senator started planning my second senate run, I caught Jeff with one of our staffers. In the biggest cliché ever, she turned out to be one of our interns. My hubby was pulling a Clinton with a chubby college student. The only ins and outs he was learning about we between a fat girl's legs.

He swore that it didn't mean anything. Of course, he blamed it all on me. He claimed that my long hours and lack of down time had driven a wedge between us. He also said that the lack of privacy had forced him to seek consolation from someone else. There was nothing serious about their relationship; it was a purely physical thing. They were just, "hooking up," as young people called it. It meant absolutely nothing to our marriage. We had been together for so long and had been through so much. This little bump in the road would not end us.

I took a page from your book, Commander. In the speech that he had written, I was supposed to announce that I would not seek re-election because I wanted to throw my support behind Jeff's candidacy. I delivered the speech, but I reworded it.

In the speech, I did announce that I would not run again. However, I announced that I was stepping down because I needed some time to myself to get over my pending divorce and the emotional issues I was going through after discovering that my husband was cheating on me with one of our interns.

You should have seen the shock on his face when the camera focused on him. And just as the cameras found him, a process server, a tall slender blond woman who was chewing gum served him with the divorce papers. It was on TV Commander, just like yours.

I destroyed that asshole on National TV. I don't think he could be elected as the dog catcher in a town with no dogs now. You should have seen him running out of that auditorium, trying to hide his face from the cameras."

She hugged me even closer. "So there I was," she began again. "Losing a marriage, even a bad one, tears your heart out. There were so many people and reporters who wanted to talk to me? There were also people who wanted me to stay in the senate. It just got to be too much for me. By the time Senator Cargill's people found me, I was trying to drink myself into oblivion.

The Senator dried me out and sent me here. I wasn't going to come until he told me that it was you, Commander. He seemed to think that the two of us could help each other."

I shook my head remembering my own conversation with Senator Cargill.

"So is it okay if I stay for a while," she asked.

"As long as you want," I said.

Over the next few weeks, Cassie made the house as much her home as mine. She was always dragging me out on shopping expeditions to buy things that she just had to have. By the time spring rolled around everyone in town loved her.

I can still remember taking her to Sam Drucker's General Store. The old coot that runs the place is still as sharp as a tack.

"That ain't your wife is it?" he asked. Before I could answer him, he started talking again. He kicked his sleeping assistant. And the boy sputtered awake.

"Ebb, git me that there interweb. Git me the Google," he said. He cracked his old knuckles like he was about to play the piano and then his fingers just flew over the keys. He turned back to me with a shit eatin' grin on his face.

"Jack, she's a bigger celebrity than you are," he said. His old face was smiling so hard I thought it was about to split open. "This is that gal you plucked outta space ain't it? And she's a Senator too. I always figured the two of ya would git together."

"Sure you did, Sam," I said. "And we're not exactly together the way you think of it."

"Uh huh," he said. He raised one eyebrow and looked at us again.

"Norma Jean," he yelled! His wife, who looked like a fat Marilyn Monroe, came out of the back of the store. Sam pointed at us.

"Hey, Norma Jean," I said. Cassie waved at her.

"Sheeeyittttt!" spat Norma Jean. "Dammit Jack, I was fixin' ta hook ya up with Nadine Ledbetter. Lisa Douglas is gonna give twenty dollars to whoever fixes ya up with someone, and I wanted that money."

I just laughed. "Like I told your husband, Cassie and I are only friends. Besides, I told you personally that I didn't need to be fixed up with anyone. I like my life the way it is."

"So why ain't she let go a your arm since she got here," asked Norma Jean.

"Test em, baby," croaked Sam, who was smiling gleefully. Norma Jean waddled over to the two of us. She looked Cassie in the face as if checking her skin for zits.

"Now close your eyes, Missie," she said. "This here is a scientifical test so take it seriously." While Cassie had her eyes closed Norma Jean sat me down in one of the barstool type chairs. She sat me right in front of Cassie. We were almost close enough to kiss.

"Alright, Girlie. Open your eyes," said Norma Jean. As Cassie opened her eyes, there was a blinding flash. Norma Jean took a picture of Cassie with an ancient flip phone. "Call the preacher, Sam," shouted Cassie. "I have unrefutable e-lectricaltronical evidence. There's gonna be a wedding soon."

"Norma Jean, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked. She flipped open her phone. She was about to show us something, but another customer came in. It was Mary Sue Walters, the local school teacher. She made a beeline for me as soon as she saw me.

"You're too late, Mary Sue," said Norma Jean. "He done found his own or she found him."

"She looks a mite small," said Mary Sue. "How do you know?"

Norma Jean flashed her ancient flip phone. I noticed that there was an eyeball with a blue Iris inside of a white sclera on it. An upper and lower lid surrounded the eyeball.There were very long lashes on the lids. Cassie and I looked at each other and almost burst out laughing.

"Can't stand that uppity woman and her fancy Eye-phone," mumbled Mary Sue.

"Is that a genuine Eye-phone," asked Cassie, still trying not to laugh.

"Of course, course it is," said Norma Jean. "Look at the back." She flipped the phone over and showed us a sticker shaped like an apple on the back of it. I didn't want to try to explain to her that Apple never made a flip phone.

Norma Jean showed Mary Sue the photo she had snapped with her Eye-phone. "Shit," said Mary Sue. "You're right. That little carrot top is glowing so hard she must be in love. Even now she can't seem to let go of him."

They completely ignored us as they went into the back of the store to plan our wedding, whether we wanted one or not.

As spring arrived, Cassie became even more affectionate. A couple of times I just looked at her when she did certain things, like rubbing my shoulders or just hugging me. "Shut up, before you even say anything," she told me. "I have to practice acting like this, so I'll know what to do after our wedding."

The biggest shock came though when I woke up one morning and found her in my bed. As usual, I didn't say anything. To tell you the truth, I loved having Cassie in my house. I didn't want to do anything to mess it up.

Then came the inevitable conversation. "Commander, we need to talk," she said one morning. I knew from being married to Elizabeth that when a woman says, "We need to talk," it actually means, "I'm going to tell you some shit and you're going to listen; or else."

In this case I was sure that the "or else," might mean that Cassie would leave so I was ready to bite the bullet. I think I would have agreed to anything to keep her with me.

"I think I'm ready to go back to work," she said. "I mean you have your cars to keep you busy, and you have your occasional speaking engagements, but I need something to do too."

"Oh," I said sadly. She just looked at me funny.

"Well I guess I knew you'd leave sooner or later," I said.

"Huh?" she asked. "Why do I have to leave? And why does your face look like that?"

"Isn't that what this is all about?" I asked. Suddenly, she started smiling.

"You don't want me to leave, do you?" she asked. "Okay, that changes things. If you want me to stay, I'm gonna have to double ... Okay triple my request."

"What request," I asked.

"I wanted you to give me an acre to plant on," she said. "I've been in contact with some colleagues who are doing research in breeding new strains of vegetables, and I've got lots of things I want to try and ..."

I started laughing and she just glared at me. Suddenly, I just grabbed her and hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. She seemed to like it, and she hugged me back.

"Cassie, we've got over two hundred acres," I said. "You can have as much land as you need."

"Hmm, besides the plot for my plants, there is one small chunk of real estate I've had my eye on," she smiled.

We went for a walk, so she could show me where she wanted to plant. I thought that she had picked an area that was remote, or at least far away from the house. However, she picked a plot that was behind my garage and between it and the pond.

Bright and early the next morning she put on a big straw hat to protect her delicate, pale skin from the sun. She put on one of my old flannel shirts to protect her arms and a pair of yoga pants. I was suddenly very interested in farming.

I stood in the doorway of my garage and just watched her. She was using stakes to line up where she intended to plant. And then as I watched a car drove up. A guy, a young guy with a beard, wearing jeans that seemed to be too tight for him got out of the car. He walked over to Cassie, and they began talking. He went back to the car to get a briefcase of some sort. He knelt down and started digging out what seemed like samples.

I had to admit that I didn't like the way he kept looking at her and brushing his fucking beard. I was on edge for some reason. I kept watching them. I decided that if he so much as touched her, I was going to rip that fucking beard out of his chin, one handful at a time. And then I was going to make him eat it.

Then he said something to her, and she burst out laughing. He gathered his samples and went back to his car.

"So why didn't you come over and meet Chris?" she asked.

"I've been kind of busy," I said. "Besides, I didn't want to intrude. You two seemed to be having such a great time."

"He kept trying to tell me jokes," she said. "He asked me out and ... holy shit, I have to get Norma Jean over here with her eye-phone."

"Why," I asked. She stuck her phone in my face and took a picture.

"It's not an eye-phone, but I think I've got what I need," she smirked. "Take a look."

I looked at the picture she had just taken. "What do you see?" she asked.

"Me," I said.

"And you look really pissed," she said.

"I was ... Just ... Uh," I stuttered.

"Jealous," she laughed. "You were jealous."

"What I was is about to shove that beard so far up his ass that it would stick out of his nose," I said. "But then I thought about it and realized that I have no control over what you do, and that I was acting badly. I hope you have a good time."

She turned and walked into the house. As I watched her go, I marveled at the sway of her butt in those yoga pants.

Later after dinner, we watched some TV. "I'm going to bed," she said. "You should too. You're gonna be busy tomorrow."

"What are we doing," I asked.

"I need to get the ground turned over in the areas I want to plant in," she said. "Then when I get back the soil analysis, I'll know what we have to add to the soil to grow my plants."

I followed her up the stairs and went into the bathroom for my shower. When I came out I got into my bed and noticed...

"Cassie what are you ...?" I blurted out.

"I told you there was a small piece of real estate that I was interested in," she smirked. "And for the record, Commander, when you heard me laugh earlier ... It was right after he asked me out. You should also know that you'll never have a reason to be jealous of anyone else with me."

"So you're just gonna ...?" I hinted.

"Sleep here ... With you," she asked. I nodded.

"Don't you think it's about time," she asked. And without waiting for my answer she got into my bed.

The next morning was a revelation. I woke to find my arms wrapped around Cassie with her arms on top of them.

"Cassie ..." I said trying gently to awaken her.

Her eyes quivered but remained shut. "Just a few more minutes," she said and sighed. And then like lightning she realized where she was and her eyes popped open.

"Holy shit, Commander, the sun is up," she exclaimed. "I haven't slept that long since I first got here."

"So you slept well?" I asked.

"Well ... There is something poking me in the back," she said. "If it was poking me about eight inches lower and more to the front, it would do both of us a lot of good. However, maybe it's been so long since you've done anything with it, that you'll just need some time to get back in practice. Don't worry, Commander, for the right person, I can be very patient."

"Uhm, Cassie ... Can I have my arms back?" I asked.

"You can borrow them until tonight," she smirked. "But I'll need them back, then."

* * * * * *

Liz

It probably seems strange but five years after our divorce, I still hurt. I had done everything I was supposed to do. I went through almost two years of counseling. It hasn't helped. All the counselor could tell me was something I had known since the first day I started with her. I had been in love with the same man since I was a child. I had hurt him so badly that he had walked away from me.

The fault was mine. I'd been so angry at him and so afraid every time he went into space. And he went every God Damned chance he could. I remember standing there with all of the other family members and wives. They all had those stupid looks of pride on their faces. They reminded me of the looks those ancient primitives got on their faces when they sacrificed their children to the volcano God hoping that the rest if the tribe would be spared. That was what it felt like too.

The difference was that for most of those women, it was a one and done thing. They always had that sense of relief when their husbands came back. And you could see it in their faces. Their expressions said it all. Their eyes said, "Okay you made it back. You are never doing anything this dumb again."

But for me it wasn't like that. Jack would be going back up on the very next mission. Shit, Jack went up on every mission. Somewhere around the fifth time he went up, Jack noticed how frightened I got. He suggested that maybe I should skip the launches and just show up to see him come home. It seemed like a good idea to me.

The first time he went up, and I wasn't there was awful. I sat at home wondering and waiting for news. I almost went crazy trying to make sure he was okay. I called NASA so many times that they thought I was a stalker. After that I started arranging to go out to lunch with relatives or friends during the launches.

Jack always managed to call me when he got to the station. During the earlier missions when he was on the shuttle, he called me from space. I would have to be at NASA at a certain time on a certain day, and they would let me speak to him. The calls were never private. There were always the eyes and ears of reporters and mission control people there. However, it gave me the chance to know that my man was okay.

I had told Jack repeatedly, that he was bucking the odds. I told him that he was spitting in the face of fate. He was gambling with his life and my sanity every time he went up. He just told me that there was a much bigger chance of him getting killed when he took his Mustang out for a drive than there was when he went on a space flight.

My reply was that the more times he went the more the odds increased that something would go wrong. But he just laughed at me. He would usually just hug me and tell me that everything would be fine. Then he'd just let them shoot him up into space again, without ever thinking about how much it tortured me. "It's just my job. Five days a week," he said.

The one thing I did enjoy was when he came back. Our sex life was always great, but when he first got back it was supercharged. Jack had the ability almost to make me black out with pleasure. People who knew us could always tell. Even my best friend would smile and say, "Jack just got back huh? I can tell because you're walking funny again."

But somewhere along the way I got tired of just waiting and suffering while he floated around up there risking his health, his life, our marriage, and my sanity. I started going out with my friends to take my mind off of it. And somewhere along the way I slipped, got drunk and ended up getting fucked by another man. I swore it would never happen again, until it did. And to be honest, to truly tell the truth, with Brett, I'd known what was going to happen.