by manyeyedhydra
i really enjoyed this one and i hope to see you posting more especially in some of your series.
... if you can't even trust your friendly sex worker succubus?
While I read on your blog, that the style of repeated and slightly changed sentences was to resemble something you recently read, I don't think it went that well.
Had I not known better, I had supposed that an inexperienced writer was trying his luck with his first story. The flow of the story was a lot better after you reduced the "redundancy" halfway through.
Not only was the sex great, as usual, it cracked me up hearing Eunice/Eunectis just saying "Um, yeah." to Tim's "patriarchy" quote. I guess even succubi don't know what to say to busybody moralists like his type.
... in all the right ways
You may have given me a new fetish, social justice warriors being put to their best use by detachedly amused succubi. Love it
Great writing as ever. Combining parody and eroticism is a tough needle to thread but you did a great job of not letting it become silly or forced. I always especially enjoy your massage based stories, you have a knack for it
Will we see Annette Brite again? I've been intrigued by what her ultimate schemes are since we first met her
Well, all cards laid out, this story was a bit unsubtle. Don't get me wrong; I can actually quite enjoy stuff that runs counter to my own opinions. That "helicopterkin" blog? Funny as hell! And it's a heck of a lot more aggressive than this story, too. The difference is in subtlety and focus. You spend too much time underlining Tim's beliefs just to show how dumb they are. It reminds us—repeatedly—that you're not just trying to tell a story, you're trying to give a lecture. It's no better than a distraction.
George Orwell, well-known arrogant assjackal and brilliant writer, wrote in his piece "Why I Write" on this matter. It's a pretty compelling read. Just know what you're trying to say. If you want to satirize SJWs, I think we all know you can do better. :P
tl;dr: plz more helicopter porn next time kthx ;)
Hey, the bloke dies again. Never expected that.
And like when you killed off that banker (because all bankers are evil, money grabbing bastards, right ?) in another story I felt I was being lectured to a bit.
Now how about some stories where your main villain (Koontz) doesn't have every single thing he has done go perfectly all the time ?
I have to admit being surprised Tim didn't make it; moralising aside, he seemed a decent guy, however the sex was hot and her cute 'excuse me while I eat you' attitude was, well, cute.
I can't help but wonder (and hope) that this is set in the same universe as Miss Kitson and Annette is one of her opponents; whereas Miss Kitson seems to want to make the world a better place, these are the more traditional succubi?
Anyway, thanks for another great story.
It amuses me when I saw the sentence: "Artificial construct built to reinforce and perpetuate the hegemonic dominance of the patriarchy." What a nice satire on those feminist lunatics! Isn't it?
Bit difficult to stomach all that stupid activist talk, but the end to the story was worth it. A suitable end to a loser. Well done. :)
So many intoxicating stories. When he fell back, I thought out of her too. Leaving him on the floor with the condom latched onto him sucking away his soul as she watched with an evil grin.