All Comments on 'Santa Scape'

I have noticed this trend in all of your stories... You are is such a hurry that most of the times, I believe you forget what you were trying to say. There is no pacing and it's like a super fast rap where the goal is to speak out as many words as possible in as little time as you can. This makes the entire story too detached... To be honest, for most part it was like the letters were flying. There is no upper limit to how big a story can be so why not take your time. Hash out the concepts. Write a plot in moderate detail. One scene has not even started properly when a bunch of plot points are bunched together as sentences and your next scene starts. This brings me to another very important part. Line breaks. Please use them. Makes it so much more readable.

J. Jamie Dupane

That was a fun series to read. Bravo. 5 twinkling stars.

Happy Frank